"Get the Kid Ready!" - Project Runway 3, Finale Part 2

So I went to a finale viewing party, not themed or anything, but fun and wine-filled nonetheless!
I went into this loving Jeffrey's collection per the images I had already seen and hating Michael's. Not much changed my mind during the actual episode and I was surprised to be in total agreement with the judges choices and their order.

I'm not even going to try to get into each and every garment, because frankly, I don't have time. Being busy takes a toll on your blog...stupid job and having to make a living.

And also, sorry so late! After the finale, I went home and went to bed, worked out the next day and packed. I spent the weekend drinking my face off for Virginia Tech's homecoming game and on Monday I started my new job. I spent all of last week adjusting to being a functioning member of society once again and spent this past weekend in Philly for a Halloween party. I was the fashion police and I looked awesome.

Anyway, so it's Monday and I'm at the front desk at work, and am risking some blog time during my hour.

Lets start with poor, young, mis-guided Michael. Now, I firmly believe that he does much better with guidelines. He's still young, and much like Daniel V. from last season, he triumphed during challenges and faltered when left to his own devices.

We should have known this would happen when it took him several hours to make a decision on a sub-par design in the challenge where they could do whatever they wanted.

But at least these are better then that purple dress...as hot as it was, it lacked originality.

Unfortunately for the fan favorite, these designs lack a bit of taste.

I don't want to go there and call them trashy, because they really aren't. There just wasn't a lot of continuity or diversity to his designs.

The above shot is four above the knee designs with a lot of cleavage showing. And killer shoes.

That's how most of the show went for Michael.

Even his long items showed a LOT of skin. And seriously...would it freaking KILL Clarissa to smile!

I think the leopard that inspired this print jumped up her ass.

Anyway, Michael's lack of experience as a designer and unfocused collection did him in.

The gold lame patches didn't help though.

Lets move on to Laura...

I liked the collection a lot more then I thought I would and on TV most of the pieces were absolutely breathtaking.

She knew that to win this she had to show more range and I admire her for essentially sticking to her aesthetic. I think she knew she wasn't going to take it and didn't attempt to foray into sportswear. She kept the collection true to herself and like the diva she is, she rocked it out.

I think the second dress in the pic above was one of my favorite pieces from the whole show. And those shoes?? SO FIERCE!! Plus, she made sequin hot pants look sort of wearable and not totally fug. And the satin jacket with it? So elegant. Hot pants are elegant people!

Plus, she is a really cute pregnant lady.

Stunning. This dress was stunning. It reminded me of Andrae's Gutter Water Dress and the little yellowish punch of color totally works.

So I knew Laura wouldn't win. She's lots of things, but versatile isn't one of them. I do hope she keeps designing though, because homegirl can ROCK a cocktail dress.

Uli's collection vas vonderful!

Okay, enough of that. Seeing Uli's collection in images did it no justice. The queen of prints censored herself quite a bit and created a collection that was half silver/beige. Seeing it in motion really emphasized how well structured the garments were.

And that first dress? Smokin' hot.

The tan and silver really worked well together and mixing the signature prints in really made the collection seem less chaotic then it could have been. And the shoes are hot to death.

Ahhh...jungle love.

It's a total signature Uli piece, but shit, I'd rock it.

Uli's whole time on this show has been fantastic to watch. She's a sweet person with a crazy design aesthetic that totally works. Miami Fever baby!!

And her way of letting everyone backstage know that Jeffery had taken the crown was SO classy.

"Get the kid ready." I nearly cried. I blame the Pinot.

Jeffrey deserved the win. Yes he might be a bit of an asshole, but who doesn't love an asshole?

Yeah, that still doesn't make any sense...even after typing it out.

J's collection was innovative and really unique. It was versatile but it flowed well. The use of repeating patterns was perfection and the zipper detailing was just plain cool.

And I COVET that green and white striped jacket! COVET I tell you!

The stripes and polka dots added a whimsical feel while the skinny pants and cuts kept the designs really modern.

Congrats Jeffrey!

I covet this too. Like really hard. And seeing him with his baby boy was the sweetest thing.

I do want to bring up the fact that we haven't had an OFW quite like season one. Not to tarnish Jeffrey's win (like he gives two shits) but I want another Jay McCarroll! Jay's FW collection was out of this world awesome and I hope that season 4 will bring us more designers willing to take risks. This season was better then last, but nobody has quite brought it the way Jay did during Season One.

So Season Four contestants...bring it on!

Until then, Love Ya! Mean It! And as always, Auf Wiedersehn ;)

Drawn Out Drama - Project Runway 3, Finale Part 1

Drama, drama, drama.

It's week one of the finale and thankfully most of the clothes look hot as hell.

We'll get to that in a minute though.

The designers are given two months and a shit ton of money to make a collection for Bryant Park.

Ready?? Go!!

Jeffrey's all "Peace bitches, I'm going to win this!"

Tim gets to visit all of the contestants at home to see how they are doing.

He also get to pretend he enjoys driving around the country in an itty-bitty Saturn.

This car is seriously tiny. When he got out of it, I thought it looked like a toy.

Oh well, I'd totally still drive it, so why am I hating?

Tim visits Michael first in Atlanta...

Michael's family is adorable!

Tim was slightly concerned about Michael's lack of continuity for his collection as well as all of the blingy elements.

Kayne say wha?

It's all good though, because Tim got some good ol' Southern cooking in Hotlanta.

One of these things is not like the other?

They even made him sit in a different kind of chair...lol

Looks like fun though. Southern cooking is the shit.

Tim probably took like 5 spinning classes to burn off the calories...lol

Next, Tim hit's NYC to visit Laura's sweet ass house...

...and her matronlyish collection.

I can't even lie though, I kind of want that long green jacket.

Matronly or not, I'd rock that shit.

Tim tells Laura to make it more youthful...duh.

But seriously, how great were Laura's kids?! Turtle poop and hand shakes all around!

They are too cute, and she's having a fifth boy and sixth kid total...INSANE!

Her husband kind of looks like Albert Einstein.

I dig it.

Uli and her Miami hotness is next.

Gorgeous, no?

I want to live in Uli's apartment when I grow up. For serious.

It's beautiful...and so were her designs.

I really like all of the prints mixed with the harshness of the bone closures.

Too cool and I can't wait to see them all in motion.

I've never seen Tim so casual! He should take his shoes off more often ;)

Tim heads to LA next to see Jeffrey and his family.

Holy crap! Harrison Detroit is the cutest!

The curly blonde hair? So precious!

Tim and Jeff hop into the Runway-mobile to check out Jeffrey's big ass studio.

I LOVE this dress!

I loved it when I saw the pics from Bryant Park, but had no clue the detailing was zippers.

It's beautiful and creative and I love it.

Jeffrey has made me a believer. No...really.

The designers converge back in NYC at Flatotel to wait it out for Fashion Week, model pick and tweak any last minute issues.

The model picking was cool...hey Amanda!

Jeffrey's idea to use wigs was a good one. A lot of established designers do this or use similar techniques to focus more on the clothes.

Now...onto the mad drama.

Laura thinks Jeffrey had help sewing his garments and brings the issue up with Tim.

If you didn't know this, too bad. Now you do.

Tim will look into the issue and we have to wait until next week to find out what actually happened.

I think that if you are a talented sewer, then it's completely possible to make a whole, perfect collection in two months. Plus, he was nearly done when Tim visited, but what do I know?

We will know more next week. Or something.

I think that Jeffrey has the most creative and cohesive collection as far as I can tell at this point, but is it his or not and will it really matter in the long run? Michael's been set to take this whole thing since day one.

Waiting to see the designs in motion.

Until then, save the drama for your mama ;)

Love Ya! Mean It! Have a Good Day! - Project Runway 3, Episode Reunion

I had high hopes for the reunion episode, I really really did.

Do we recall last year's reunion episode?

It was sheer perfection! Of course we had more fabulous characters, like Andrae, Nick and Santino.

So this year wasn't as good, but it wasn't all bad. Some parts were just totally awkward!

Exhibit 1:

"I was like..." "And then I was like..." "And THEN I was like..."

Why didn't you chase the bitch down Bonnie...huh?!

It's like her brain quit half way through each thought. Whatev...

Exhibit 2:

"Uncomfortable, isn't it?"

Oh, Jude. You just have that affect on people.

I'm not even getting into the whole did he or didn't he get the books back for drama. Who gives two shits?

The guy is clearly a talented designer, so I say "Keith! Quit your bitching and starting designing again. We'd love to see you at the next fashion week, so hop to it Jude-Lite!"

And lastly, but not leastly...

Exhibit 3:

I mean really. WTF, mate?

Vincent is officially bat shit crazy.

He was the Lupe of this season's reunion epi. Congrats Vincent! You are nuts, kind of scary and REALLY hard to understand sometimes. Unfortch, you get nothing for this...so just go be "turned on" elsewhere.

Alison looks the exact same. Cute as ever.

The unicorns are smiling again. As am I. She's kind of fantastic.

So, Robert is boring according to one of our montages.

Fa' real?! Why the producers chose this is beyond me. I mean, I get the "Serious ugly" and the incomprehensible Bradley noises. But why show someone who we knew was boring back when the judges stated it over and over and over again.

Dead horse, meet several uneccesary beatings.

I kind of love Robert though. I can't hate.

But Laura can!

I love her. I do. I like want to be her when I grow up!

And "Serious ugly" is totally useable on a day-to-day basis.

She's fabulous. Fabulously glamorous be dammed! She's just straight up fabulous.

I heart Bad Mommy.

I also heart Malan...a lot!

He's kind of fantastic. I hate that I thought he was evil for awhile. Damn you Powers That Be!

But really. His laugh is kind of villianous.

The montage was totally creepy yet really endearing all at the same time.

I'm glad he got to show at fashion week. Jude could take a tip or two from our favorite Taiwanese =)

Bradley is the proud winner of the John Wade award for best transformation.

He was always hippy, trippy cute to me, but now Bradley is sort of smokin'.

Go ahead honey.

Angela is back and still angry at Jeffrey.

Who didn't see this coming, though?

She's just seething with anger. And pointing.

Still pretty though.

Jeffrey is sort of irreverent as usual.

That was a total Tim Gunn word. Those clips were pretty outstanding.

God, I'm on fire with my segues today!

I miss Kayne. Vincent brought him up as someone he thought would be at Fashion Week. You and me both Crazy Vincent. You and me both.

Let's get down to business. Michael is the shit.

He got braces and still looks cool!

Of course, I thought it was a grill at first.

But braces making a lot more sense considering his mildly jacked up teeth.

And now Michael can pay for his braces by being our fan favorite!

Don't you love how they future dated the giant, fake check for the date the show airs. Bravo is genius I tell you.

Michael Kors and Nina brought the check out, and I might be crazy...

But doesn't it look like Nina doesn't want to get anywhere near this giant check?

She's all like "Cardboard? Please, I only touch silk, satin and velvet...bitches."

Anycrap. We're onto our Fashion Week episodes and I can't wait to see it all in motion!

Who's gonna win? No idea over here. Everyone kind of rocks in their own way, so it'll be nice to see how the competition heats up.

Until then...see you on the runway ;)

File Under Skanky Ho

So I was at Macy's the other day with my mom.

We were in the juniors department shopping for my sister who, although 21, is a tall skinny twig built for those kinds of clothes. Plus, she's still doing the whole cazsh college thing.

Anyway, I walk by a 4-way of skirts, pants and blazers and notice how impossibly short the skirts are.

I'm talking booty watching short.

And then I read the sign attached to the 4-way and it says "Career Wear".

Whose career?!

The only career I see in those skirts is pole dancing, simulated child pornography and professional daddy issues.

It was something like this:

I wish I were kidding. The online descriptions for this particular skirts is as follows:

"Mix it up in this fresh new take on the classic plaid mini. Bias plaid with knife pleats at each side. Front scoop pockets. Back patch pockets. Unlined. Hits at midthigh."

Whose midthigh??

That's mid-tootie as far as I'm concerned.

And there are pockets? My pockets on my pants are made of more fabric then this whole outfit.

They keep breeding them smaller and smaller...

I blame scientology.

Hail to the Barbershop!

I am a rabid Redskins fan. Always have been, always will be.

I spent most of Yom Kippur services the other night checking the score on my cell phone.

Yes, this makes me a bad jew, but it makes me a REALLY good fan of the Redskins! I took a bitchy glare from some snobby Jewish mother for this shit. Mind your business lady.

Anyway, last season we saw some outstanding players emerge, especially on our offense. One of these players is Chris Cooley, a tight end only a couple of months older then me.

I still live at home and am "in between jobs" right now. I have a lot of respect for someone who has this much success at a young age.

On top of all of these things, Mr. Cooley is sort of sexy.

Yeah, he's got the football player, no-neck, thing going on, but never the less, still sexy.

See? Hot, right?

Plus he's a good ball player, and has already dealt with a cheerleader/wife scandal in his young career. Turns out he's also a good sport about jokes regarding said scandal. A local radio station had one of the girls involved with Cooley on to talk about what happened and the story blew out of proportion and the station got a lot of mileage out of jokes at Cooley's expense.

This season, however, Cooley is providing commentary on each 'Skins game every week. A big move for a big man.

All of this aside, I have an issue with him. He has decided it would be a fantastic idea to grow his hair out.

Oh folks, this is nothing.

As you can see, Chris Cooley has very curly hair. A Jew Fro if you will. Probably not Jewish, but irregardless.

See how it grows out instead of down?

My brother tried to do this in high school when all of the other boys were growing their hair out in the mid 90's. The problem was that my brother is the proud owner of a Jew Fro and the hair grew out. And oh, did it grow! He looked like Sideshow Bob in his class picture that year.

No, really...

Now, you probably think that this story has nothing to do with Chris Cooley, but you would be wrong....

This is the picture of Cooley from this season's team roster.

Not okay...I laughed...really.

At first, I thought that he was trying to emulate Jeremy Shockey.

Of course there are other ways to emulate Shockey. You know, you could traipse around town with Tara Reid or talk shit about your coaching staff.

But since Cooley isn't doing any of these things, I am starting to think he forgot where his barber is located or owns no mirrors.

I have no idea. I do think that all of the hair is messing with his game, because he hasn't been having a huge season yet. Come back to use Chris! We miss you and want you back!

Take a shower, cut the fro, score some mad touchdowns and lets take this season to the end!

Don't get me wrong though, I'd still hit it.

Yeah...I really, really would.

ps- is that Adam Archuleta behind him?? He deserves a whole different post ;)

And Then There Were 4...Again - Project Runway 3, Episode 11

At least there were no fleurchons this time around.

And I didn't have to deal with the heartache of Kayne being booted a second time.

But was this essentially the same episode? Does it matter?

We're puppets on the Bravo string cuz we will watch this shit no matter what!

Yeah, I admit it.

I'm also admitting my newfound affection for Jeffrey.

I know, it's super exciting.

After looking at the fashion week collections, his was my favorite. Yeah, there's controversy, but it was still the most versatile and current collection in my opinion.

Sure he's still a total dick, but he also doesn't try not to be.

I also think I'm the only person that didn't hate his design this episode.

Where have we heard this before? Oh yeah...me talking about Kayne in almost every episode!

Am I going through Kayne withdrawl and taking it out in the form of Jeffrey?!

No...that's really not the case. I've just been on a rollercoaster ride with Jeffrey this season. At first, I was intrigued by the whole rock star thing and he kind of, sort of, a little bit looks like this guy I used to sort of, kind of, not really date but just "hung out" with during college. Then he was mediocre in the first challenges, then he became Captain A-Hole, then he sort of made a couple of cool garments while going at it with Bad Mommy (and while that's a bit of a dangerous notion, cuz Bad Mommy will cut you in half with a mild glare, it gets a tiny bit of strange respect from me), then he did the couture thing which almost made up for his crotch bedazzles, then he had 15-year olds everywhere thinking leather knee highs were hot shit and that's never good, but then I kind of fell in love with his final collection.

Plus, this...

...is ALWAYS fun and kind of endearing.

So aside from it being a total run-on sentence, I think I might be on Team Jeffrey.

Of course I'm also on Team Laura.

Laura is hot shit, there's no doubt.

And she's rocking a BPR tank, which had me completely geeking out at the TV.

But onto more important things...

During model choosing, Uli totally ganked Nazri from Michael...unfortch there were no walk-offs.

There were plenty of open-mouthed gawks though.

Oi...I miss Andrae right now!

You can tell Lindsay totally knows she's screwed.

Uli apologizes as Lindsay gets the boot and receives this...

I can FEEL the hate in this shot...it's fantastic!

Thank goodness Michael didn't totally break down a la Nick and carried on with Clarrissa.

I miss Nick.

Anyway, the designers hit Elle Magazine to hear about their challenge.

Using three words to describe their design aesthetic, they are to design a garment of their choosing.

I can't lie, I got excited...I wanted to see what everyone would do with no restrictions. I am but a foolish viewer though.

30 min to sketch, $250 for supplies. No stupid ass rules about using all the material.

Plus, the winner gets to have their look photographed for Elle's LOOK page by world renowed photographer Gilles Bensimon, a $100,000 contract with Wilhemina Models and a Cover Girl contract.

Dammit...I'm crossing shows again.

The designers also have to take pictures of their looks for a page with their words, which cuts their design time significantly.

Holy god, I love Uli.

And her picture of Nazri was hot.

It looks pretty editorial and you know those kids all had nice dreams that night. Team Uli!

I was also a fan of the shot that Jeffrey took of his model on the rickshaw. I couldn't find a pic though.

Clarissa looks like a bitch.

Yeah, maybe she hated the dress, but she kind of looks like this all the time. Check past episodes...she's mining diamonds in her ass or something.

Smile bitch...Michael kept you in this shit!

So the designers chose three words for their collections and I can't remember any of them. I could look them up, but I don't want to. Naturally, I'll make up my own.

Uli won the challenge, so she's up first.

Hippy, Trippy and Fro

Jeffrey:

Patriotic, Potato Sack, Velour

Laura:

Clavicle, Itty Bitty Titties, Fabulously Glamorous

And finally, Michael:

Booty, booty, booty

Smile bitch!

It was down to Michael and Jeffrey, and I didn't think there was any way they'd boot Jeffrey, so I was getting all upset for Michael.

I thought they were going to dump him right before OFW and that was not okay since I've been on Team Michael since his coffee filter dress.

Then the sneaky ass producers kept everyone for fashion week...

...and there was much rejoicing.

Look, even Jeffrey and Bad Mommy are getting along!
So much love...it warms my heart.

Yeah, I know I said I'm on everyone's "Team" this recap. Because I am. I'm stumped as to who will win this thing.

Now that Kayne is gone, everyone is my favorite. So there Bravo!

I'm not picking a favorite...and you can't make me.

I'm like a five year old right now.

Next week we have the reunion...I hope the cosmos are flowing as much as last year...or at least give Bonnie some narcotics so that a totally non-threatening player on the show turns bat-shit crazy by episode end ;)

God I miss Lupe.