Naturally Blonde

Inspiration Orange - PR Season 6, Episode 10

2009-10-22T22:52:00.011-04:00

You guys...I have a confession to make.

My blog is called Naturally Blonde, right? And I've always been a blonde. It basically defines me...and my clumsiness.

BEFORE

So I went and I dyed my hair auburn and lobbed off about 6 inches. Granted, it looks AWESOME, but I feel like I should change the name of my blog or something. Fake RedHead? Yeah it's probably not going to happen, since I'm still a natural blond and all. That and I'm lazy.

What say you?

AFTER

Now that I've got that off my hairline, let's get to the show!

Heidi tells the designers that they will be heading to Rodeo Drive to ogle all of Michael Kors'(s?) designs. Everyone is staring at the high end shops on Rodeo Drive and are all "OMG! We don't have these where I come from!"

I can see a Gucci, Jimmy Choo, Louis and a Barney's Co-op from my window and work. I work in freakin' Maryland. Quite with the "I don't get it's" and learn the industry ladies.

Michael counts his millions.

So the designers have to choose a location to draw inspiration from out of Orangina's inspiring locations.

Carol Hannah chooses first and picks Palm Beach
Nicolas chooses Greece which would have been my first choice
Althea chooses St. Tropez which totally suits her
Gordana chooses New York
Irina chooses Aspen and is excited to make a ski lodge type design
Christopher chooses Santa Fe

Logan gets stuck with Hollywood and they play this goofy music and everyone laughs which I don't get because look at the man. He's a fucking surfer boy and they've been in LA for a couple of months. He should know his business by now. Of course we're talking about a man who owns, and wears, silver pants.

They are given $150 to shop at Mood and Irina is all "Fur's EXPENSIVE!" Maybe you should have picked Hollywood?

The designers get to work and Chris talks about his absence of formal training and Irina is giving everyone stank eye. Typical day in the workroom.

Tim comes by to give everyone the shlits and it looks like Gordana has legit only done the neck of her outfit. Come on, make some Upper East Side fabulousness and blow these American assholes out to the water.

Chris's looks like it's going to be a hot mess mixture of Epperson's Western Movie outfit and Irina and Gordana's crappy winning blue shirt from that one time.

Tim gives him the business about how a long western inspired skirt is the worst design idea ever.

Ummmmmmm. Ew.

Irina says "An Amish woman wouldn't even wear that." Irina, I've seen the Amish. They bring the sexy. Don't hate. I just realized that Irina's a Jew though, which I also am, and we are scared of most of the super religions.

I kid. But seriously, I knew there was a reason I liked this bitch.

As the day goes on, Christopher's design just seems to be getting worse.

They said INSPIRED by the location, not a sky and mountain representation of the Santa Fe skyline. He claims to have cut off 20 inches of "mountain" and I hope that makes it look less like a saloon dress.

Mmmmm, Gordana is cooking bacon again. Gordana is my hero.

Runway day arrives and I'm pretty sure Carol Hannah shrunk overnight.

Attack of the 50 Foot Model

The designers are all scrambling to put their finishing touches on their garments with their models and everything is looking pretty good so far. Except Chris's. I can't tell for sure, but it still appears to be a hot mess. Didn't Ra'mons time on this show teach us anything about new beginnings?

Runway success! La Nina and Orangina are back together where they belong and are joined by Ms. Milla Jovovich who I've always had a one-sided (I think) crush on. Milla actually has experience as a designer, so she should make for a good guest judge.

Althea is quickly ushered off the runway after the show as she lands smack in the middle.

It's cute and sun-kissed looking, just like St. Tropez should be. Innovative it isn't. Althea seemed to have a lot of fun with this challenge and it appeared that she had one set vision that she followed through with. She wasn't re-inventing the wheel by any means, but it's pretty and met the challenge guidelines well.

The ladies have remained dominant this year and Gordana, Carol Hannah, and Irina took the top three spots this week.

This dress came out really beautiful. I think it's elegant and sexy and really captures New York elegance. I could see this on Serena VanDerWhatever on Gossip Girl.

I secretly wish that Gordana had done the grungier side of New York, like Soho, but this was a good solid entry. I know the judges poo-poo'ed the piping, but I like it. I think it keeps the eye moving without being too distracting and it complements that beautiful collar.

Carol Hannah went back in time a couple of weeks and re-did the beach challenge.

Just kidding.

I'm having a hard time remembering that this was taped so long ago. I saw this and kept thinking about how tired I am of seeing Maxi Dresses on EVERYONE. Considering this was taped long before the summer of the maxi, it's very on trend and there's no denying it is beautiful.

Like Althea's, it's nothing earth shattering, but the twisting and braiding at the top is done so well that it adds a rich element to a fun dress.

Once again, Irina snatches the win into her bitchy and capable hands.

And, I LOVE it! This design is exactly what this challenge was about. She picked up that Aspen card and came up with a concept that was indicative of the location but not literal or costum-ey.

Okay, it's borderline costume, but it had such a strong point of view that you cannot deny how she easily won. In addition to her execution of her concept, the outfit is just beautiful. It looks expensive and appropriate and it fits Kalyn like a glove.

The sweater was beautiful and the cut out back gave it a touch of sex. The vest was cute and didn't overpower the sweater, while the pants stayed understate to show off the other pieces.

I HOPE to look that put together when my car is snowed in this winter and I'm slipping on black ice. Congrats Irina!

Onto our favorite subject. Boys on the bottom!

Good GOD, Koji's waist is small!

This is one of the most wearable and interesting designs that Nicolas has ever done. That top is simply gorgeous and those pants are fabulous.

Does it remind me of Greece? Not at all. I'm not sure how he could have saved this. Maybe made the shirt into a dress and in a different color? The white is too literal, but it's clearly a Nicolas staple.

So Nicolas didn't follow the challenge, but he made beautiful pieces that had originality.

Originality is the best thing about fashion, so why was he sent home, when the other two bottom boys lacked that aspect?

Logan's outfit looks like Celine should be throwing newspapers and wearing a hat.

It must be the suspenders. Yeah I just said "suspenders". This is not good.

Logan explains his design as something that Lindsay Lohan or Mary Kate Olsen would wear and that's just not even close to being correct. Lindsay may be a big ball of crazy lately, but at least she's original.

You can seriously buy Logan's outfit anywhere, but why would you? There's nothing special about it.

Heidi is all "I didn't mind it." That's not a reason to keep someone. If it's so simple to have little to no opinion, then that's a problem. "If this was called 'Project I Didn't Mind It', then he would win." Thank you Milla.

Logan's was a piece of priceless art compared to Chrisopher's piece of crap.

Matar looks like her purse should be one of those cow skulls with the horns. Like the front of the RV's from Road Rules from back in the day. That would make this outfit perfect and REALLY invoke a Santa Fe feel.

I just don't get this. Granted, I think he had one of the hardest locations, but he could have tried a little harder. This is just so literal. It's the sky and the ground, in a dress!

It could have been Indian inspired. He seemed to be on the right track with the belt, but everything else just fell apart and this is unoriginal and not what the challenge called for.

Of course, Christopher gets the "In". Don't get me wrong, I'm not a Nicolas fan by any means, but this week he did not deserve to go over Christopher. I love Christopher, but the last few weeks, him and Logan have been in the Bottom Three together THREE times! They have taken out designers who had stronger concepts and designs (except Shirin's piece of crap), and I just don't get where the judging is at.

On his way out, Nicolas says he's going to take a break from designing. I hope it's not permanent. He's far from my favorite, but I saw him grow a lot throughout his time on the show and I hope he is able to channel this growth and use it to his advantage.

Only 6 designers are left! I can't believe we have waited so long and now it's almost over. Let's see if Chris and Logan can redeem themselves next week...

Yitchy Kitschy - Project Runway Season 6, Episode 9

2009-10-17T16:07:00.014-04:00

And kitschy, it was! Thank god, I LOVE kitsch.

Heidi opens the challenge by telling the designers that they will be meeting Tim in a SUPER secret location with a SUPER secret guest.

I totally forgot from last week, that Bob Mackie was a guest judge and when I saw him I geeked out really hard. He's so amazing, I can't even begin.

I mean, I can definitely talk about the fillers he's clearly using, but I still can't begin to explain my sheer love for this man.

Tim is there to greet the designers and explain to them how their challenge is to incorporate Bob Mackie's style influence into a stagewear design.

Look at all the sequins and sparkle! He's a master, it's not even funny.

I love how Cher is mentioned in like every episode of this show. As you all know, Bob Mackie created her iconic looks for many years, both on stage and off.

I've always been a huge Cher nerd and watching the designers try to do this:

...is going to be hilarious.

Tim let's everyone know that they will be creating this look for international superstar, and runner up for the Mascara Wand of Horror Award, Christina Aguilera. Winner of the award?

I mean....duh.

So Tim sends the designers on to Mood with $300 to spend on fabric and sequins and feathers and glitz and all that crap.

Carol Hannah legitimately bought one to two yards of every sparkly fabric that Mood carries and she lays it all out on her design table. It looks like Liberace vomitted on her sewing station.

Shirin is having a ton of trouble and has no clue what to do.

You look really cute when you're floundering.

Irina is predictably bitchy and hilarious throughout the design process as Althea, Nicolas and herself have all done costume sparkles before.

Ho. Sit. Down.

Tim comes in to see what all of the designers are working on and OH. MY. GOD. You guys, Shirin's design is making me wanna cry.

It's like really bad and ugly and it looks like a dated prom dress that would have been made fun of. It's really awful. She has panels in her dress like fake hippie's used to do in the 90's with their jeans. It's REALLY REALLY bad.

Oh my god, it's so bad. I just keep talking about how bad it is because it's so ugly and awful. I can't even make any right about it because it's just so wrong.

In other news, Chris is making booty shorts and a corset and thinks it's 1998.

On the real. Your design sucks ass.

He seems to think that we are designing for the Lady Marmalade video. If only Pink and Lil' Kim were around, I could get behind this shit.

After Tim poo poo's basically everything, the designers all scramble to get their shit together. It's funny because everyone is so lost and confused about how to make amazing stage wear. Nobody seems to realize that the brighter something is, the better.

I'm seeing a very limited use of color and the designers all seem to think that just because something has sequins, it'll get a pass. Where are the bright beautiful colors. This is a challenge where you can seriously go off the grid and make something outstanding.

See all this fabulous color?!

Good, because we DON'T get to see any of it on the runway.

We do get to see Christina Aguilera come out of hiding. She's been sort of MIA since having her son.

Was she hiding in a bottle of peroxide?

I kid! I actually really love Christina. I've always thought she was insanely talented and I love her voice. Her songs are catchy and I'm excited to see her in that Burlesque movie or whatever it is.

Let's see how she fares as a judge...

We start off with a less than stellar entry from Irina.

I guess she can't win them all...

This dress was okay. It was very lingerie-like and didn't have a huge wow factor. It ended up smack in the middle and for all of her smack talking, Irina didn't deliver all that well.

As for Gordana, thank god for her she had immunity because this?

This was really ugly.

Her excuse was that the beading kept falling off whenever she cut the fabric, but the fact is she screwed this challenge up royally, and knew it. Sorry to see her just let it happen since she had immunity, but I can see how it must be hard to fight for a win when the challenge appeared so difficult for her.

Nice to see Heidi put her bitch pants on and tell her how lucky she was to have that immunity.

Let's get to the good, shall we?

Althea's was probably the worst of the best. It was striking and sparkly but had it's fair share of execution problems. The front panels are a bit puckery and it look more like a dress for Mariah Carey or Whitney Houston, not Christina Aguilera.

Wow, this challenge was right up Bitchy Boris's alley. He's nothing if not consistent in his love for feathers and sequins and this was a really stellar entry.

Once again, I wish that he had included some color. This is perfect for Christina with the short and sexy style. The top half is put together beautifully and the intricate details are gorgeous. Normally I would hate the feathered skirt, but it was absolutely perfect for this challenge.

I think he could have pulled off a win easily if this had been another color. He could have gone with a bright red and it would have come across much more striking on stage.

Carol Hannah finally got a win with her entry.

And while it's not completely undeserved, I'm not sure this is the best stage look I've ever seen. Don't get me wrong, it's beautifully made and constructed and she really spun her nerves on the challenge into a great design.

I just think it looks much more like a red carpet look rather then a look for a concert or show.

On the super positive side, that feather detailing is impeccable. The gown fits Lisa perfectly and the flow at the bottom really makes the sequins come across as expensive looking.

The styling is very Old Hollywood, which isn't helping the fact that it looks red carpet, but I'm glad Carol Hannah won. She's been pretty good throughout the competition and it's nice to her get recognized.

Her little boycrushfriend thing didn't fare so well though.

Oh Logan, on the bottom once again?

This wasn't so bad for me. I think it's an easy look which he didn't put a lot of thought or effort into. The fabric is okay, but it's just shiny when it needed to be spectacularly shiny. It was obvious that he was not comfortable with this challenge in the least.

The print on the fabric combined with the one shoulder dress and god awful fur thing really made Koji look like an ultra fabulous cave woman.

Thankfully for Logan, Christina Aguilera has never tried this look before, because repeating a look she's already done is basically unforgivable.

Right Chris?

When I first saw Chris's look I thought "Oooooh, Christina is going to love this!" That's obviously because she's worn it before, but you could really see her face light up when Katie walked down that runway.

The corset was pretty but not well fitted and I did love that he thought about it being two completely different looks for the stage. He seemed to grasp the challenge better then most, but his execution and starting point just really screwed him over.

Lucky for Chris, Shirin made one of the least attractive designs ever produced in Project Runway history.

You guys, this is really, REALLY bad. The paneling is a terrible idea and it is just so unattractive as a concept. In addition to it being ugly, it's poorly done and sloppy looking.

I honestly cannot say enough bad things about the bottom of her design. The top is okay, boring and too small, but okay.

I have zero problem with Shirin going home this week. She had been well above average the whole season and she deserved all of the praise she received. She also deserved the smack down she got over this dress. I dislike it SO much.

I'm sort of sorry to see Shirin go, but I definitely think she deserved it over this awful design.

I'm excited to see what happens next week and think that the dregs of the talent have been mostly weeded out. Nice to see the designers step out of their "Make a pretty dress" box and try something with more pizzazz.

Until Thursday...sing some Cher songs and smile =)

Why So Blue? - Project Runway Season 6

2009-09-25T15:50:00.023-04:00

So I didn't get to recap last week since it was my birthday and I went to Atlantic City to celebrate. I had a flippin' blast! So here's a mini-recap...

Last week on Project Runway: Ummmm, guys, seriously, Halloween is still a month away. Oh, and Carol Hannah and Logan are gonna get married, like, tomorrow.

Welcome home, Logan!! He gets to move in with Ep, C and BB since Ra'mon got the boot. The boys are being narrowed down like crazy.

Heidi explains that they will be working with COLOR!! Shirin is wondering if they will be working with parachutes and I have an immediate flashback to being a kid and flipping a parachute around with 20 other kids and a ball in the middle during PE. Anyone else?

Lighten up, it's just fashion.

Turns out that they will be working with the color blue, for INC at Macy's. Everyone seems to want to make a sweater dress, which zzzzzzzz....

This has GOT to be the most boring and basic challenge we've had in all six seasons of Project Runway. And, SPOILER ALERT, we end up with boring and basic designs.

They are broken up into teams of two and have to make two looks per team. I guess the looks are supposed to go together, hence the teams, but I don't recall hearing that as a dictate of the challenge. Of course, I've been siphoning Shiraz into my system, so it's possible I missed that part.

Teams are as follow:

Althea and Logan

Christopher and Epperson

Louise and Bitchy Boris

Irina and Gordana and on team tiny, we have...

Carol Hannah and Shirin

Seriously, CH and Shirin can hardly hold up the fabric bolts at Mood.

Epperson and Chris are talking about how awesome they are and is it weird that I sort of want to make out with Chris? Is he gay? Does it matter?

Awww, you guys, Logan is a total hottie with a great personality and he's down to earth and helpful and WOW DOES HE NEED A SHOWER!! Wash that hair, honey.

No wonder he's always wearing that stupid hat.

So Tim comes in to do his asshole ripping and he happens upon Team Tiny.

Shirin is all like: "That one has leggings!!"

And legit, Tim is all: "I knooooow." Girl, I feel ya. Leggings are completely overrated and done.

Leggings!

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

This boring ass challenge has made everyone so snarky. Carol Hannah makes a funny and says that right about now, Ra'mon would be starting over...how bout a unitard? Just make sure it's blue.

Now that everyone has bitched and moaned about how difficult blue is to work with, we'll get to the runway show. Next week maybe we'll have a REALLY hard challenge and make everyone design something black! I can see the tears now.

OMG Michael is back!! Thank GOD! This season was seriously starting to suck without him.

With two teams in the top and two in the bottom we are left with one who wasn't good but didn't suck. Congrats Althea and Logan! You're mediocre!

Wow, that's a short skirt, Althea. And I know it was you because you've made this outfit once before.

Another booty baring blue suit! How innovative. I'm really done with this piece since there is just nothing good happening here.

The second piece Logan and Althea create is a bit better.

But I HATE the rise on these pants. Lisa looks like she's packing heat. The top is really pretty but those pants are terribly fitted.

Carol Hannah and Shirin make it to the top two for being more unoffensive then three other teams.

Leggings!!

So the top is cute but it's nothing I haven't seen before. The color is pretty but that's about all there is to say. It's just pretty. That seems to be good enough this season. I do like the Obi belt but again, nothing earth shattering.

This is a step in the right direction, but she sort of looks like a flight attendant. The skirt is nice, the top is nice, and I think I just fell asleep.

Let's move on to our winners!

This won? It's not a bad concept but the skirt and top look wrinkly to me and the proportions are strange. It's also way too tight and BORING!!!

Jeez, this episode is like watching grass grow.

Here's the reason that Gordana and Irina won. This was by far the nicest thing to walk down the runway. It's beachy and cool, and very sellable. It's very Macy's and the use of the different shades of blue is nice.

Then something happens to liven everything up when Irina inexplicably goes off on Gordana for not being a more active member up the team. Wow, Irina really is a bitch! I still have a crush on her though.

Good on Gordana for at least defending herself. She basically tells Irina to quit being a snatch and use her own voice as the leader.

Ho. Sit. Down

And as we all predicted, Chris and Epperson as well as Louise and Nicolas are in the bottom.

Let's get into it Cry Babies.

So I really didn't hate this. Is it amazing? Not at all. The fabric cheapens it a little bit, but it's a perfectly servicable shirt dress.

It's better then that time I saw some chick walking down the street in an actual button down shirt, belted with tights/leggings. I told her to put on some pants. You're not Lady Gaga.

Still not sure why this landed them in the bottom, except that it's not as good as tunic with leggings? Oh wait, they did that too.

Celine looks like she's being choked by death ruffles. What a terrible way to die.

I actually don't hate this. I don't love it, but it's not terrible. It looks like every 20 something's bar outfit these days, so to say it's been done and done is an understatement.

Ruh roh Chris is crying like a little girl and I'm not sure I want to make out with him anymore. Who am I kidding? I'd still hit it.

Poor Louise never had a chance, with this bottom four. There's no way they were going to get rid of Chris, Nicolas had immunity and Epperson was Chris's puppet this week.

This I actually liked at first. It's a pretty dress and the front is interesting. These are ruffles I can deal with. In fact, I audibly praised it when I first saw it on screen.

The problems come when the dresses colors are inverted, made out of cheap fabric and taken to the Nth degree.

Oh kids, this is not good. It looks cheap. It looks proportionally screwy. It looks ugly. And whoever told Louise that those shoes looked cute needs a swift kick to the mouth.

*cough*boris*cough*

The ruffles look like those weird plastic flowers party stores use to make party lei's. The colors also aren't cute together and the ruffle placement is really strange.

All in all, this deserved the boot. My big issue is that nothing was THAT bad, but nothing on the runway was good either. It was all boring, basic and worst of all, everything looked easy. Where are my innovative designs that challenge the rules of fashion?

This season is making me miss past designers. Jay, Christian, Santino, even Kenley! She was a heinous cat throwing bitch, but at least she tested the limits.

These designers need to step up because I'm not impressed. Hopefully next week will yield some amazing challenge that will test our designers.

Til then, auf wiedersehn!

Start Spreading the News - Project Runway Season 6

2009-09-17T22:30:00.012-04:00

We open the show on Carol Hannah doing her make-up and WOW that's a lot of mascara!! Put the wand down, girl!

"This is my day look."

Irina is throwing shade about Althea winning, which, yeah she's right. Althea's design last week did not deserve to win. Nicolas is saying that no one deserves to win since he should win and then he giggles after it and I wanna slap him.

So the challenge this week is sort of really cool. The designers are brought to a newpaper factory and are told that they will be working with newspaper for their next challenge.

I used to work for the Washington Post so this is sort of fun and interesting as an unconventional materials challenge. This challenge is taking place at the LA Times and we're introduced to some lady in an awful floral dress.

"This concerns me."

She spouts out some facts about the LA Times and indicates the stacks of newspapers and magazines all over the factory. They announce that the designers are given three minutes to get as much material as they can. Nicolas is speechless, thank god!

This is completely candid.

Tim gives us a brief history lesson on paper clothing which started back in the late '6o's. The designs on screen are so cool and fun.

Everyone is given paint, dye and brushes to create the look of fabric and it seems that Ra'mon, Irina and Gordana are off to a good start.

Hehe! Everyone is annoyed by Shirin and her incessant gabbing but the way it's edited is super funny. I like that the designers are at the stage where they are constantly talking shit about each other. Makes for more exciting episodes.

Holy hell, Johnny's design looks like Hellraiser vomitted all over his dress. And it's bloody vomit. And he's making up stories to try to cover his ass and everyone is making fun of him behind his back. Project Runway High, at your service.

Dang, Althea is only 23...girl is looking old. Does she smoke or something? I mean that in the nicest way possible, of course.

Ewww, Tommy Hilfiger is in for Michael Kors...where is he?! That other bitch from Marie Claire and Gabrielle Solis are also there.

What's black and white and read all over? This runway show! Let's get started:

Wow, if Logan had done that last week he wouldn't have almost gone home.

I thought this dress ended up super pretty. It's a littly cutesy with the ruffles but it's a nice effect overall. I'm completely in love with what he did for the "print". It could have looked cheesy like an animal print, but the pretty blue really sets off the black and white.

It looks a little bit like the Great Wall of China threw up all over it, but I love Asian inspired clothing so I enjoyed this look a lot. It's very dramatic but pretty. The only problem is that the paper is sewn to the muslin underneath so it was sort of "easy". I liked it overall though and am glad that Epperson has stepped up his game.

Go Ra'mon! That paper thing is GORGEOUS! The two different prints he created really set each other off well and it looks pretty and expensive. The detailing on the bottom of the top is beautifully intricate and I thought this was a pretty strong look.

If Anna from the Fashion Show and Leanne Marshall had a design love child it would be Shirin's design. Those "cup" like "noodles" in the front look like they've been done before when you look back at Anna from the Fashion Show. It comes across very costumey, but I do love the structure of her design.

And speaking of costumes...Fatma looks like Minnie Mouse.

Don't get me all wrong. The top and skirt were really pretty and nicely constructed. The problem lies in the bib of cut up toilet paper rolls she threw on there. In addition to it being really ugly, it takes away from the rest of the look. I don't like it and I'm surprised she didn't get more flack for it.

I like it from the top to about the hip bone. Below that it's just a hot mess, and a long hot mess at that.

It's wrinkled and weird and ugly. It looks like she made giants newspaper bows, died them an ugly red and taped them to the muslin base.

I'm also surprised that Carol Hannah made it through judging unscathed. This was a wreck of a design.

Chris's is predictably gorgeous. He's gotten to be quite a contender for this thing. The dress is certainly nothing groundbreaking on a design front, but it's made of newspaper and created a really cool effect with the "feathers".

I'm not surprised he was in the top three at judging, but I don't think his was necessarily better then Logan's or Ra'mon's.

Wow, Althea's dress almost looks metallic. It's beautiful. She used a picture of a building and fanned it out. It's really stunning up close.

I don't love the bustline, and think that if it was trimmed lower by about a half an inch, it would be more flattering. I also hate the shoes with this dress. Overall, though, the construction was impeccable.

And now for the grandprize winner!

Irina's trench is really nicely done. I'm not crazy about the wideness of the sleeve puffs, but it does complement the neckline which really makes the coat. This design was truly a cut above everyone else. She took her idea outside the box of what was easiest to do and went beyond that to make something beautiful and fashionable.

Good job girl cush!! Now, onto the bottom three:

Gordana knocked it out of the park! It's intricate and beautiful. I'm not cuckoo about the neckline but it looks like fabric for real. I'm shocked she was in the bottom. It wasn't the best and the design elements weren't perfect but she certainly handled the unconventional materials better then most everyone.

The bottom three judging got catty as hell. The bottom two were both a hot mess and Nicolas ends up TOTALLY throwing Johnny under the bus when he tries to claim that the iron ate his newspaper. So funny, Nicolas totally calls him out! And speaking of Bitchy Boris...

...his design looks like a flag with spikes. It's all stripey and weird and looks exactly like his dress from last week but uglier. It's a shapeless shift with an extra skirt. I do like the fact that he MADE a pattern and certainly don't think it was the worst, or even the second worst but I just don't like Nicolas or his giggly ass attitude.

I do like him better then Johnny however.

It's a hot mess. I would have rather seen his Carrie meets Hell Raiser design. I'm sorry, I mean his "Dior". What a crock of shit! If Dior had vomitted blood all over a bird laden mess of a dress, then maybe. He deserved to go home for giving up and then making a crap design.

This was ugly and just bad all over. Johnny had a nasty attitude and I'm glad he's gone. "Giving up addiction was easier to do then this."

Oh really?! I'm sure kicking a meth addiction and making a newspaper streetwalker outfit are really quite similar. 12 in one hand, half a dozen in the other, that kinda thing.

Again, I'm glad he's gone. I've never liked his designs on the show and wish him the best with his addiction problems but it's clear he wasn't right for this competition in any way.

Alright kids, Glee is on and this is WAY late! Thanks for reading!

Cocktail "Party Foul" - Project Runway Season 6 Episode 4

2009-09-10T22:10:00.014-04:00

It's a new day on Project Runway and Qristyl is saying that she's going to be known as the "B-I-T-C-H". Okay dude, if you're going to be a bitch you need to be able to curse right!

Gordana has the right idea, when she's all "Just own it....bitch."

Heidi explains that they will be designing for the 13 women in the workroom. Nick thinks that they may be homeless...or eskimos. You're weird, Nicolas.

The designers will instead be designing something for their models. Yeah, cuz that worked SO well in season one.

Tim just said caucus and it made me laugh cuz I'm a 5 year old.

Johnny thinks his model will love his look since he can think like a black woman. We sure he's sober? Kidding!!

Shirin's model wants a Royal Blue and Gold satin jumpsuit with gold rope. Ummmmmmm, are you my college mascot?

My college mascot going to an 80's MC Hammer look-a-like party, that is.

I met our mascot once during orientation. He put his leg up and tried to hump me. It was bizarre, but I think I might end up with an emotional connection to this design though.

Ugh. Wonderful.

Oh my, Chris's color scheme is pretty disgusting. He's calling it apple green. That's more I'm On Acid Green.

Hot Stuff Logan is making a "Smurf prom dress" and Tim is all "Don't use that word again!" Which one? Smurf? or Prom?? They're both pretty bad to be honest.

Epperson calls his family and starts crying. On the real, I do NOT need to see people being sad about their families. If someone is crying then they need to be crying about a bitch cutting them with a shiv or because Zulema is there.

I've noticed that when Former Crackie Johnny does a fitting he always makes his model go out to the hall and walk in the garment which is brilliant times a billion. Everyone seems so busy fitting, but he takes thirty seconds to make sure that it moves well and nothing is popping out that should be popping in. Work it out Former Crackie.

Am I alone in thinking that Chris's, model Katie is the twin of Rachel from the new season ANTM? Taller, or course, but still twins.

You can only tell us apart cuz she went and got knocked up.

It looks like Carol Hannah pulled her inspiration from her own outfit.

And Logan is still making SmurfPromWear.

It's pretty awful but Koji seems to actually like it.

"If I pull it up like this it's not TOO Prom-ey."

"Girl....no"

As we move down to the runway, we find that Heidi is the only judge there whom we recognize on a weekly basis. Where is Senorita Kors and Nina?! Marc Bouwer is sitting in for Kors which I'm okay with aside from the fact that Good lord, Marc Bouwer looks like a fucking Barbie Doll.

Anycrap, let's start the show!! And let's start with my loves.

My girlcrush on Irina has developed into full on affection. I think that she has been very underrated. I LOVE this dress. The print isn't my favorite but she made it work so well. The jacket is a little odd but I am just so obsessed with that dress. I think it's stunning. I can't wait to see what she does next.

Awww Shirin I'm in love. This isn't super innovative but it is totally adorable. The color is bright and stunning and I even like the applique on the shoulder. The fit is a wee bit strange on the skirt for me. If it had been just a touch fuller I think it would have been more striking.

Oh this dress was simply stunning except for one glaring problem.

That color is NOT working for the dress, the model or me. It doesn't look washed out which is fortunate but it comes really close. I think if it had been in a deep red or chocolate brown or navy or really anything, it would have come across much better for me. The beading in the front is stunning but I just wish she had used color more.

Now for the like-ish:

I don't hate this but she kind of looks like a trekkie to me. If Chris Pine were around, I wouldn't mind, but he's clearly not. I think the high neck is throwing me off here. I think that Nicolas should have put the ka-bosh on the high neck and made it V-neck along with the line of the silver.

Other then that it's sort of boring. Not bad, just boring. Although I must say that the low back was stunning.

This was super cute. I'm not in love with the fluffy neck which is the one thing that's really throwing me off. I do love that Fatma belted it for the cocktail party. She looked majorly hot in it then and you can really see the detail Louise put in.

Oh Ra'mon this is ALOT of look. That flower is just wrong on many levels. It's not good in it's concept and it is MUCH too big.

On the other hand, the color is gorgeous and the fit of the skirt is impeccable.

So Chris's dress was the only one of the middlers that I really wasn't a fan of.

I think the color is terrible, although it looks better in pictures. The fit is very strange for me and the proportions are REALLY strange for me. The top and bottom looks like tissue paper to me and I just don't really like this at all.

I don't think that it's badly made I just don't think it's my aesthetic at all and that's why I don't like it. I still like Chris's previous work and am glad he's still in the competition.

Epperson is stepping up his GAME!! I thought that this dress was amazingly beautiful and the detailing was amazing for me. I thought the colors worked well even though brown comes across as boring so much of the time.

He really worked with the direction that Matar gave him and didn't fold under the constrictions. He heard her requests and molded his design style to her. I thought this dress was greatly passed over for the win.

So the more that I look at this dress the more I like it. Carol Hannah really went on an innovative limb by doing a sort of decontructed two piece look. I wish the bodice had been about an inch longer but other then that I thought the color really worked with the black and the skirt detailing was beautiful.

The only thing I hate is the bangs in Lisa's eyes. Fall off the runway, much?

Is she wearing shorts? A diaper? What the what is that???

Hold up...this shit won? Okay, shit is a strong word. On the real, I was not a fan of this look at all. I thought the proportions were completely wonky. Sure, she made three pieces and they appear to be made well but I am just not feeling any part of this look.

The blazer looks a bit 80's. The skirt it much too short and the hemline is WAY too high. It is making Tanisha look as though she has a short torso, which she doesn't. And ps - put a bra on your model.

Let's get to the losers.

Hmmmmmm, this was not made well at all. The bodice is very strange to me. It looks like it should have been a tad bit lower cut and the belt should have come higher. If the belt had been directly under the bust it would have been more wearable.

Other then all that, the dress looks incredibly wrinkled and that comes across sloppy. That purse is gorgeous though. Good eye, crazy loud judge lady.

*cough*smurfprom*cough*

Koji wanted a 50's inspired goth something or other. This wasn't it. This looks dated, poorly made and all around ugly. The belted detail was pretty but the lace overlay really screwed all that up.

The skirt is too full, the bodice is too romantic and the whole thing just doesn't work.

Lucky for Logan, goofy full skirts win out over boring.

And ladies...this was BORING!!! This is exactly what the average person thinks of when they think "cocktail". It's just SO average and I expected Qristyl to have a lot more spunk then this.

Her whole "Plus Sexy" aesthetic really got me excited but I thought Qristyl really failed on a lot of challenges and is probably one of those designers who works better under their own direction then in the constraints of a super creatively stressful environment.

I liked Qristyl a lot but it was clear from the first challenge that she didn't appear to do well under the constraints of the competition.

Good for Valerie for booking Christian Audigier at the cocktail party. I just hope she doesn't have to work with Jon Gosselin.

"That guy's a douche knuckle!"

I know, right! Thanks Fatma =)

Have a great week everyone!!

Son of a Beach - PR Season 6, Episode 3

2009-09-04T21:51:00.015-04:00

Good morning designers! We wake up in the boys room with Mitchell and Ra'mon waxing philosophical about being in the bottom. Mitchell says he doesn't wish Bottom Three on anyone.

Bad hair? Yes

Bottom Three? Hell No!

Mitchell has a giving soul.

Anyway, the designers take a day at the beach to learn about their new challenge. They will be making a surfwear look complete with surfer hair. This should be a giant disaster.

SPF FIERCE

It's a team of 2 challenge and Mitchell gets chosen as a team leader and picks Ra'mon, who he says can "carry him". Really, asshole? Step up yo game!!

Also of note, Irina is chosen last and I was totally obsessed with her dress from last week so I don't even get it. Former Crackie Johnny ends up with her and I think he just built a tent in his shorts. This is why I hate camping.

At Mood Epperson and Qristyl are clashing a bit and naturally, Ra'mon and Mitchell aren't seeing eye to eye. Imagine that!

Team Euro (Nicolas and Gordana) are working together and Nick gets all excited about hand dyeing the bathing suit and interviews that he's doing an "Ombre of macrame". That basically means that they will be dyeing the fabric to fade to another color and use a twisting technique to design it. Like so...

Seems beachy and cool but listening to him shit himself over saying "Ombre of macrame" is hilarious.

"Ombre of MACRAME!!!"

"Bitch, I get it."

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hold.

The.

Phone.

Johnny just called Mitchell "Little Lamb".

Ummmmmm...Andre is not amused. That's a Season 2 patent Former Crackie Johnny, so step off and get your own catchphrase! Now, where the HELL if my chiffon?

Tim comes into the workroom and tells the designers that they will be making a second, avante garde, look. There are two of you...one each. So calm down. It's not like Tim was all "Your first born is being kidnapped into Heidi's family and once she gets bored with them, she'll pass them on to Brangelina or Madonna. Guess which one the bottom three go to." The designers lighten up (it's just fashion) when they find out they get an extra $200 at Mood.

Ra'mon and ADD Mitchell are making an avante garde wetsuit. Vomit. Thankfully Ra'mon realizes what a shitty idea this is and changes everything on his own. Mitchell officially sucks. He is seriously just sitting around and letting Ra'mon do all the work.

"If I pretend to be doing something then Ra'mon won't cut me."

What he said at the beach is ringing true. He's letting his partner carry him through the challenge and as a leader, Mitchell sucks at life.

"How about you just do what you want and I'll take credit for it."

"Bitch, please"

The runway show begins with Rachel Bilson as the guest judge and Max Azria sitting in for Senorita Kors. Fab. U. Lous. He barely speaks a lick of english, but I love him. And Rachel Bilson has wonderful taste in fashion.

I didn't realize that surfer chicks did street walking in their spare time, Chris and Logan.

Actually, this wasn't that bad. It didn't seem as easy and breezy as I imagine a surfer chick should look, but it definitely had a California vibe to it.

This, on the other hand makes my brain hurt. I can't tell if I love it or hate it. I really like the full, deconstructed skirt but the top just doesn't match. I do appreciate that they seemed to try to tie in the beach/scuba/whatever vibe to it, but it's just not working.

Well, hello Louise and Althea's adorable design...how are yuns?

See, this is VERY beachy cool to me. It looks comfortable and easy but still very chic and fashionable. The colors are beautiful and the bathing suit has a sporty vibe, while the dress is more girly.

Hrmmmmm...I'm also kind of torn on this avant garde design. It looks really dated to me, like Demi Moore's dress from the '89 Oscars. Okay, maybe not THAT bad, but throw some biker shorts on her and she's a dead ringer.

It's cool and a bit Avant Garde but still quite dated. At least it looks beautifully made.

This was the beach look from Shirin and Carol Hannah and it's SO cute! Is it practical for a surfer girl? Maybe not, but the look resonates really well with me. I like that the skirt is detachable and the bikini is adorable.
This look was amazingly striking, but once again I don't see the tie in to the beach look. That and it's not very avant garde. This sort of look has been done. It's pretty but overly designed and the color saves it, if anything.

The judging was MAJORLY cracked out this week.

Let's start with the not so bad:

Ombre of macrame!!! This bathing suit was really pretty and the pants were nice in theory. Theory does not translate though and the front and bottom looks sort of jacked up.

On that note...

So I actually really liked this at first. Is it inappropriate? Yes. Is it slutty? Absolutely. Is it new and sort of striking? That it is.

It's much too short and very garter centric, but I kind of like the lace garters. I am digging how the shirt flows into the tights and then goes over the shoes. It's like an inverted bodysuit or something. It's not pretty to look at it, but I'm not sure it deserved all the crap it got.

The top is adorable but that skirt is awful. The fit is so weird and poofy in the back. The print is nice though.

Qristyl and Epperson were just mudslinging at each other by the end, and I must say that Epperson won. Time to get your Bitch on Qristyl.

Ugh. This is not okay. The "bathing suit" is hideous and poorly fitted and not avant garde in any way. That green thing on the bust is awful and it doesn't tie in to the print on the first piece. At least it's related to beach wear? This challenge officially sucks.

Ummmm...this got one of the highest scores?? Irina is my homegirl and all, but the bottom half of this design is really bad. It doesn't match the funkiness of the top and it's too full for the length.

I LOVED the macrame back and the way it showed through the thin sweater, but that skirt is full of HATE.

This was a top two avante garde look? Really judges?? Had this been made better I might have given it a pass, but it looks sloppy, it looks overly designed and the fit is terrible.

It was far from the worst design, but I would not have pegged it as top two. Johnny's soberness must be making everyone else slap happy or something.

The winning designs were no better though.

This is cute aesthetically speaking, but it's not practical beachwear, you can't even SEE the swimsuit and there is some major wonktit going on here.

It's pretty to look at but it looks like they just threw pieces of fabric over the bathing suit and belted it.

That's quite possibly the case, since Ra'mon was trapped with Mitchell as a leader and he basically sat there preening the whole time.

I don't hate this as much as the majority of viewers did. It's not good by any means but it's not god awful. It's a far cry better then that wetsuit they were considering and by "they" I mean Ra'mon. He saved them with this neoprene dress.

Thank god for neoprene! Or something. I actually had to look it up. It's wetsuit material which was an interesting concept considering that the Avant Garde look was supposed to reflect the surfer look. The dyeing made it more interesting to look at and the gathering at the top was pretty to look at.

That's where the compliments end. Should Ra'mon have had a lick of help during this challenge then maybe it could have worked.

The best part was when Mitchell was all "Yeah, I just sat around while Ra'mon did all the work. I was sewing in my head though."

"You've GOT to be kidding me."

Thankfully for me, the judges saw this as completely unforgivable and made PROJECT RUNWAY HISTORY by awarding Ra'mon the win for not killing Mitchell and then kicking Mitchell off for sucking at everything.

He wasn't a bad person, just a terrible competitive designer. It's so funny how the models all awww'ed their way through Mithchell's aufing when a week before they treated him like the Black Plague...or a brownie.

And I love that they brought Valerie back after Erica was all "Hi mom? I booked the Arby's commercial!" You go after it, Roast Beef Girl.

The designs on this episode were pretty sub par. This design challenge wasn't really all that difficult but it seems everyone was thrown out of their comfort zone. Hopefully next week everyone can get their heads on straight and start making amazing clothing.

No more partners though...that shit was painful.

Until then, I need more wine. Have a great week, darlings!!

My Lovely Baby Bumps - PR Season 6, Episode 2

2009-08-28T11:43:00.018-04:00

Sooo...I didn't get a chance to recap last weeks show and I'm sort of happy I didn't. To be honest, I wasn't a huge fan of anything that walked down that runway for the red carpet challenge. All the looks were average at best, with very few standing out. Christopher's winning design was great, but it didn't look all that wearable to me. I wasn't a fan of Johnny's red dress and thought Ramon's dress was pretty, but boring and had major boobie issues.

I also thought Mitchell should have gone home over Ari. At least she finished her design. He send an ugly nightgown down the runway. But once again, I'm not a judge.

I was amused that Lindsay Lohan was a judge during the one week Ari was there. Am I nuts, or doesn't Ari look a bit like Samantha Ronson?

I'm sort of surprised Lohan didn't jump her in the back and show her if the firecrotch matches the drapes. Kidding! Even more surprising was how concise Lindsay was as a judge. Good for her, lucidity looks good on her.

Moving on...

At the start of episode 2, the designers meet Heidi on the runway and Heidi explains that they will be designing for a real celebrity client. It just so happen that this celebrity client is majorly pregnant with twins and is Rebecca Romijn. I LOVE Rebecca Romijn. I've always found her funny and beautiful and she's one of the more talented models in terms of expanding her career to other talents. I love her on Ugly Betty.

Anyway, the designers are all shocked and apalled to learn that they have to design a maternity look. The horror!!

Nicolas legit has a tourettes attack at the camera and "shits" and "fucks" his way through 30 seconds of interview time. Get a grip, dude! It's not like she has 7 arms you have to design for. Pregnant women happen all the time, you've seen it before, I presume.

She's a MONSTER!!!

The designers hit up Mood in a cold sweat and major panic attacks. It's hilarious.

As the designers make it work, it's clear that a few designers have a better sense of how to dress a pregnant woman and it's interesting to see their thought and design process. I'm seeing a lot of dresses and tight pants with tunics. Granted, this is the go to for maternity wear, but let's see some innovation, ladies!!

Malvin is talking about some "Which came first?" concept for his design, and I'm confused along with everyone else.

Definitely the chicken. Now, carry on.

So Logan is the hot, young designer this season and all the girls are peeing themselves over working with him. As we find out on Models of the Runway, Fatma is completely gaga for him and is ready to shiv any bitch who comes close to her man.

Of course, as a man's man or guy's guy or whatever, these girls should realize that they will never be dudely enough to be Logans inner circle. Except Valerie of course, which is why she's been eliminated. Kidding?

Careful Logan, she might try to sit on your face.

Tim has everyone bring their suddenly pregnant models to the runway

"Designers, please roll your models down to the runway."

Our guest judge this week is the always beautiful Rebecca Romijn and stepping in for Michael Kors is none other then Monique Lhullier.

I LOVE Monique Lhullier. I have fantasties about her wedding gowns.

Bow. Down. Bitches.

I must say that I found the awful fake bellies really distracting for some of the garments. Bravo would have sprung for higher quality. Ya hear that, Lifetime!

Let's start the show!!

Our entire judging panel is of women who are or have been pregnant. Sort of smart that way since they clearly know what they are talking about more then the average gay man.

Or the average straight man it seems. Now, I don't think Epperson has every been a pregnant woman, but come on! A one piece jumpsuit with no visible way to remove yourself from it to pee...FAIL. Plus that vest is ugly.

The jumpsuit was nice as far as jumpsuits go, but I hate jumpsuits, so...moving on.

Based on the two designs we've seen from Feather Prince, he certainly has a short, tight and shiny aesthetic. The problem this week is that he is supposed to be designing for the average pregnant woman, not Heidi Klum.

She doesn't even look "pregnant" here and how are you supposed to get that skirt up over the belly to use the ladies room? It's not a bad dress, but it's a bad maternity dress.

"I have to pee!"
"At least you can pull your dress up, these assholes seem to think that you'd be fine with an 8 pound baby sitting on your bladder."
"Hah! I just peed a little."

So I'm ACTUALLY pregnant and psssst...Logan is the father...

This was sort of cute in it's concept but I thought the tunic was much too tight around the belly. It seems like Logan, Epperson and Nick really missed the mark on considering a woman's body when she's pregnant.

Johnny did a bit better and I really like the idea behind this dress. It was sort of ruined by the ugly bow thing at the shoulder and I hate the neckline. The rest of the dress is nice and I like the hemline. Thankfully some angel from above convinced him to remove that hideous jacket from the outfit and throw it in the bag like a scarf. Best move since getting sober, buddy!

So I really like Qristyl but her dress last week was a stank mess and her dress this week is a little boring for me. Granted it's a lot better then last week and I like that she thought more about the female body. It probably helps that she's female.

I LOVE the neckline and just wished she'd used a different color. Especially since her model's hair is so light, the color washes her out. A deeper pumpkin color or even a dark green would be stunning on her model.

That jacket/vest/shrugamabob = HATE!!! It's awful and doesn't match that adorable dress at all. Maybe adorable is strong, but it's definitely cute. I sort of like the idea of a sling along the dress and the color is beautiful.

This was one of the better legging/tunic combos. I don't like that the straps didn't seem to match, but the color makes sense and the cardigan is so well fitted. I am obsessed with the layered hem and those shoes are TO DIE.

Hate the bubble hem, love everything else. The color is stunning and I really like the belted seam above the bump. The one shoulder is nice, but not super practical for preggo boobies.

J'adorable! I LOVED this look so much. Is it a little short? Yes, but other then that I am all about this dress. My sister in law has been pregnant for the better part of 18 months now (9 month old and about 4 months along with number 2) and she's incredibly stylish. I went into this challenge thinking about what Erica would wear and Erica would wear the shit out of this dress.

It's perfect for a wedding or fancy dinner. I even like the little lacy thing under the bust, although I wish it were a little smaller.

The color is gorgeous and the tone on tone with the trimming is really beautiful.

The low back is stunning and the off centered tie is a nice touch. Each detail Irina used could have gone really over the top, but she edited herself just enough to make a really incredible looking maternity dress.

Oh Ra'mon, this is not good. To be honest, I really like the dress as a normal cocktail dress. I liked the "racing stripes" and the colors.

But darling, this is NOT a maternity dress. It's a dress with room for a belly and it isn't made well.

See how pretty the back is? This wasn't the challenge though.

Moving on to my least favorite of the Top Three:

I would have easily traded Irina's entry for this. It's a pretty dress and had it been executed perfectly, I would have been a big fan. Unfortunately it was not sewn well and the boob area was WAY too small and not well fitted.

It's a pretty design and the trimming around the neck was nice, but I don't think it deserved a top three spot due to the execution problems.

Oh Mitchell, why? This is hideous to me. As soon as I saw the giganto shorts I knew it was going to be a disaster. The bottom is just terrible and the top is messy looking. This is just an all around disaster. The hair styling is messy and the cardigan is hanging off the model in an awkward way. She looks like a harried mom, not a chic pregnant hottie.

Step it up Mitchell, the judges seem to like you but I'm over it.

But on the real, Malvin deserved to go. The chicken/egg thing was a weird concept and this looks less like an egg bundle whatever-it-was-supposed-to-be and more like a straight jacket.

Nobody likes a crazy pregnant woman.

Let's get to the best of the best:

Rock it out, Louise! I liked Louise as soon as I saw her, I just dig her style. This dress is super cute. It's a little too lingerie inspired but really pretty, still. Again, I love the layered hem and I actually dig the flowers on the shoulder. It draws attention up and away from the bump.

So good job, Louise! I can't wait to see what she designs in the upcoming episodes.

Oh, Shirin, this was GORGEOUS!!! It's stunning to look at and fits the model beautifully. That jacket is made impeccably and the lining is beautiful.

The dress itself is flawless and the detailing above the bump is perfection. I like the cowl neck and the color is beautiful with the dark grey jacket.

The girls really stepped it up this week and made a statement. I'm not going to say it's because it was a maternity challenge which only women are able to experience, since the majority of them haven't been pregnant.

I'm really glad that the designers are looking better then last week, I was scared for a moment about this season sucking. Now I'm really excited =)

I can't wait to see what the designers do next. I'll miss the crazy that was Ari and Malvin, but good design trumps all, y/y?

Until next week!

I'm Baaaaack - Project Runway All Star Challenge

2009-08-20T21:55:00.023-04:00

Oh mi gaaahhhhh...

It has been TOO long for me and FAR too long for this show.

Ees beeen sooo loooong.

It's the All Star Challenge, loves and they have got a group of incredible crazies for the next two hours. Two hours?? I have to drive to Connecticut in the morning. Mama needs a nap.

First (second?) impressions of everyone:

Jeffrey - Well hello there hipster friend! Nice crappy band you've got there.
Daniel - So nice to see him working so much. Ummmm, nice sleeve tats?
Korto - Fabulous as always and I'm really excited to see her work more.
Chris - SissyBear!! Wrapping Beyonce in aluminum foil seems like a step in the right direction.
Uli - OMG yay! I love this bitch, still.
Mycheal (Micheal?) - His head looks bizarre to me for some reason. Like his jaw is larger...can that happen?
Sweet P - I'm interested to see how she's developed since she left the show.
Santino - What happened to Andrae? Get prepped for some cartoon behavior.

Jeffrey is being snarky to Mycheal but it's not unfounded. Mycheal's finale collection was hootchie and it sucked.

So everyone heads to the roof for the champagne toast we've come to know and love. Heidi is pregnant for the 84th time and Tim is fabulous as usual. The designers will be doing one giant challenge with three pieces each, one of which should be red carpet ready.

I hope the client is Nancy O'Dell again because we all know how well that went the first time around.

The designers hit up Mood with $1200...big bucks this time around! Ummmmmm...did Santino steal someone's Boston Terrier? Is he going to make it a pailette laden sweater?

Work room time and "Good heavens!" the door is heavy! Tim is the greatest person ever born.

The designers will be designing for *drumroll please* Nicole Kidman... Okay that's pretty big time. I'm not her biggest fan but she's definitely A-List material and the designers piss themselves about it which is understandable.

"OMG, I'm Lizzing!!"

Santino almost immediately starts in with the Timpressions and Korto is all "Girl, no..."

"I wonder if I can sew his mouth shut..."

Everyone who isn't from his season is ridic annoyed and even Daniel is staring holes into him. Santino has seriously just become a cartoon version of himself. He's trying much too hard to be funny or whatever and it's not workin anymore. The first time around it was funny because it was new.

Dear Santino,

It's old.

Love, Everyone

Uli and Sweet P are fighting over virtually everything and Chris keeps falling asleep. Tha hell? Wake up darling!

There is the requisite dinner to interrupt everything and Tim lets everyone know that they will have an extra day. But wait, there's more!!

Of course there is a 4th garment, and naturally it's with "unconventional" materials. That usually means trash, grocery store items or trees. Because it's not Project Runway unless you are being mindfucked. In this isntance it's the materials from this poor restuarant in NYC. Who made THAT decision on their staff?

Everyone is making it work and carrying on and it's sort of uneventful aside from Uli not starting on her resataurant piece and Chris being super narcoleptic.

He's aliiiiiive! Hey Mountaha!

It's runway time bitches! And holy hell there are a lot of dresses to judge harshly.
Let's start with the bad...

Has Santino been reincarnated as Lindsay Lohan? What's with the gold leggings? I do like the top, but it's all too sparkly and as Tim would say, "It's a lot of look".

Oh momma, no! This is just not wearable to the average person. If it was thrown into an actual collection then maybe I could pass it over as conceptual (ugly) art. Having it come out as 25% of your challenge collection totally throws me for a loop. I like the draping, but the boob area is weird and nobody needs shiny camel toe. Except Lady Gaga of course.

Just not my style, but I'm not sure who's it is. I feel like this is sort of an eff you to everyone. Like "Oh I didn't win last time, so I'll just make whatever I want and then complain when I'm on the bottom for ugly dance wear". Why did you even come back, dude?

This was favorite of Santino's looks. I found the top interesting to look at and much more artistic then anything else he made for this challenge. If he had focused on this side of his creativity, then maybe he would have placed higher, but he took an easy route for everything else.

This dress looks really dated to me. I think I saw some celeb from the nineties wearing something similar like Ivanka Trump or someone, before she had boobs...and good taste. It's just SO simple. Red carpet dresses these days have interesting details and are special. The only thing interesting is the fabric which just looks cheap. FAIL.

Santino's was the only collection that I really just disliked. In addition to it not being my cup of tea, he phoned it in.

Next in line is Bad Boy of Fashion part deux. I've always sort of enjoyed Jeffrey's aesthetic and liked certain pieces from his collection, but it just wasn't as special as some others.

This is definitely not my style, but jumpsuits period suck in my opinion. The workmanship is nice though and he's on trend. I do love the zipper, and don't kill me, but I like the shoes.

I like this dress and this jacket. But, I like them seperately. With the dress as short and shiny as it is, the model sort of looks like she is at her junior prom and got cold so she borrowed her boyfriend's blazer to cover up.

The jacket is beautiful, but the styling of the pieces together looks, again, dated for me.

This is a look I didn't like at all. It's kind of ugly and looks poorly made. The random fringe is making it all worse and the model sort of looks pregnant in this picture.

Least favorite look to most one of the best of the night. This dress was GORGEOUS! Sure, it's short, tight and shiny but that fabric really works in this cut and those cap sleeves are working it out. Plus, I love an asymmetrical neckline.

I found Jeffrey much more enjoyable and low key this time around. His style has clearly developed and I'm glad to see that he stuck to his aesthetic while catering to the challenge.

Mycheal is next! Oh Mycheal...I'm 50% on this one. At least that's more then his last runway show. Always looking for the positive...

This dress was just okay for me. I love the color but it's something I could find at Macy's. You are competing for $100,000, try harder Atlanta! And that purse is 50 kinds of fug.

Ummmmmm...no. I actually really liked this look at first, but the more I see it, the more I hate it. It's been a week and this outift is now on my shit list. I think the colors were I liked most at first, but the more I see it, I realize it's not well-proportioned in any way and that skirt looks like a fancy towel wrapped around the waist of a lopsided tee-shirt.

Anyhoodle, let's see how Mycheal does with innovation:

FAIL! So it looks like he sewed a bib of ugly placemats to a hoochie dress. I think Mycheal has shown he can work well with unconventional materials in the past and typically does a stunning job. I'm under the impression that he saw the other designers making their restaurant looks more wearable so he did too and it didn't translate well.

That, and it's ugly.

This dress, on the other hand was another gorgeous entry. It was modern in it's style, wearable and had just the right amount of funk to make it an easy red carpet choice. The color was amazing and the fit was divine. It's so obvious that Mycheal is a talented designer, I just feel as though he loses focus and reverts to the "sexy" far too often.

Ulie rounded out the bottom 4 but that's completely ridiculous so I'll just go in my own little order.

Sweet P and Chris were sort of neck and neck for me on this one. They both showed growth in their design aesthetic since their season has aired and I just like them both as people. On that note, Sweet P is going first for no good reason...

First things first, is that Shannon from MMASM?? If so, whassup Shannon?! This was probably my least favorite look from Sweet P. It's just so twee and adorable and it looks kind of sloppily made. Not a fan.

This dress is what I always thought Sweet P should be designing every day of her life. It personifies her personality. It's REALLY pretty but still has a hard edge to it with the leather. It's a great design and is well made and I loves it.

This look came out super cute for me. It's not practicle, it looks like a cupcake and is completely unwearable but dammit, it's adorable. If she's going to make an unconventional look she may as well make it ridiculous and fun.

Sweet P's red carpet looks was one my least favorites, but considering I liked most of the red carpet looks this is sort of a compliment. It just wasn't super flattering and the bottom hem part was ooglay. It wasn't awful but it could certainly earn a worst dressed spot.

Throughout the first 90 minutes of this show I assumed Chris was going to crash, burn and make me sad. And then this look sauntered out onto the runway. I took notice, and I know everyone else did. Talk about GROWTH! This is so understated and incredibly chic when you think about the human hair dresses Chris was doing before.

And then, hellllloooo gorgeous!!! I want this jacket, I NEEEED this jacket! It's flippin' gorgeous and I nearly jumped at my TV when I saw it. Needless to say, I liked it.

Was there a drag queen dress included in this challenge? Oh, there wasn't? My bad.

I thought this dress was pretty, but it's all very "They may take our lives, but they'll never take...OUR FREEDOM!" And yes, I had to look that up. It was heavy and much too kilt like. No way Nicole Kidman's skinny ass could have kept upright with that shit on.

Alright, so the top two were Daniel and Korto, but Ulie was royally screwed out of a higher spot. She should have been in the top two, sorry Korto. But it's true. Alas, she wasn't so let's get into her collection now.

OMG so beautiful! This dress was stunning on so many levels. The ruffle in the front was prominent yet understated enough to keep from taking over the whole look. And I'm completely obsessed with the sheer hem.

I hate a bubble skirt beyond belief. I hate scoopy hems. I love this dress. It's gorgeous. It's sweet and super feminine and it's gorgeous. Uli has completely stepped out of her comfort zone but kept her feminine aesthetic. Amazing.

This is a restaurant challenge look? Shut the front door! It's beautiful. The spacing between the ribbon-ey parts is perfection. This doesn't even look like an unconventional materials piece. Uli is the shit.

This is probably my least favorite look from Uli but I still love it. The proportions are nice, the colors and fabrics are expensive looking and it's sexy.

What I loved about Uli's collection is that I honestly couldn't tell which piece was the red carpet look. That includes the restaurant look and she really worked well with the materials, sanse print. The judges were pissing themselves over everyone growing as a designer and they Uli was missing her spirit. Look at that rosey dress, that has tons of spirit. Crackheads...all of them.

So Korto came in second. She seemed salty as hell about it and let everyone know it too.

This is Korto's red carpet dress and it could easily have fit into her Bryant Park collection from last season. Pretty as always but I've seen it before.

Vest/Top thingy whatever...gorgeous! Pants...gorgeous!! Fit on the pants...FAIL. Okay the fit as a whole isn't bad but the rise on the pants really throws the whole look off. It's pretty though I love the material.

THIS was her restuarant look? Stunning. Flat out stunning. It was beautiful. I liked it much more then her red carpet look, for the red carpet. The lava beads were a brilliant idea and it added to the dress instead of distracting from it.

I LOVED THIS DRESS!!!!! It was amazingly fabulous. This was another look that I thought was better then her red carpet dress. This dress was so much more modern then the pink one and it really fit the model beautifully.

Onto Daniel V. I've missed my wee cheerleader!!

This look was sporty, chic and fun. It was a serious departure for Daniel to do sportwear when we've always known him to do such beautiful and structured pieces. This was so sporty and adorable. And for the record, I was not bothered by the braless wonder walking the runway.

Soooo cute! Aside from the red carpet dress this was my favorite look. It's fabulous with the skinny pants with the vents! Shut up Daniel, where did this come from?

So if she had an oversized sweatshirt and a beard, she'd be the uni-bomber, y/y? I know, I konw...everyone has been saying that she looks like a suicide bomber but I really didn't see that at first. I just thought it was okay on my first run at it. Of course the bomb references make sense.

Gorgeous? Check. Stylish? Check. Modern? Check. Red Carpet Ready? Check.

I'm rather sure that this dress is what sealed the deal for Daniel for the win. It was gorgeous and different and like nothing anyone had seen before. The judges were falling all over themselves about the contestants growing fonr their first time on the show.

In a sense, looking at Daniel vs Korto, it wasn't fair to compare them. Daniel had 3 or more years to change his style and adapt himself as a designer while Korto had far less time to change. She was on in the most recent season, so what do they expect?

I'm not mad about Daniel winning. I'm more pissed about Uli being looked over for the win. I thought her transformation from season 3 until now was incredible and she deserved a lot more recognition then she received.

Overall, THANK GOD PROJECT RUNWAY IS BACK!!!!!!!

That is all...LOL. The All Stars challenge was fun and it was a great segue into the new season which I hope to get into more deeply.

Hope everyone is enjoying it and as always, Auf Wiedersehn!!!

Product. Placement. Project Runway, Season 5, Episode 7

2008-08-29T11:28:00.004-04:00

Oh my goodness kids, I am so sad I didn't get a full blog post in for the DRAG QUEEN episode!

I feel terrible but my schedule has been, to quote Suede, whackadoodle lately.

I would like to touch on last week's episode a little bit. Thank GOD Daniel is gone. How annoying can one smarmy, greasy little design boy be? At least he wasn't talking about his "impeccable" taste a whole lot.

I've noticed that there are so many bitchy little designers this season. Not like fun bitchy, like past seasons, but whiny, passive aggressive bitchy. Get overself, if you aren't established enough in the industry to have to be on this show, then your shit still smells.

Congrats to Joe though! Who knew token straight guy would pull it off? Korto's was gorgeous and Terri's was super striking, but Joe really hit the nail on the head with his sailor outfit.

Alright enough about the queens. Let's move on to this week's show!

We open on Kenley saying that Daniel was her bff on the show. I had already lumped her in the whiny bitchy designer category so this makes sense.

Hey guys, did you know that Heidi has a part time gig as a referee?

For this week's challenge, she sends them on a trip to the rooftop of some building and Blanorexic thinks they might be designing for some superstar while Korto think's they're going to Mariah Carey's penthouse. These people have clearly never watched this show.

Kenley is "scaaaareed!!" Shut up.

They get to the top and it's all very Oprah, "You won a car!!"

You won a pile of crap!

Obviously that's not it. Each of the four cars is stocked with materials made to construct Saturn cars. Oh yeah, did you all know Saturn is a sponsor for this show?

The itsy Saturn man calls for them to "Go!" and I half expected him to tell them to "Go shake it!" Rene Fris makes me giggle.

It looks like everyone goes running for the same car, except Jerrell who seems to have enough sense to go in the other direction.

They look like the homeless ladies on the corner near my old job.

My god, Suede is talking in first person. Unfortunately he just said whackadoodle. Wonderful.

Everyone gets to work and RatTail interviews that he wants to tone down his garment to please the "****ing judges". You don't want to please them, you want to impress them. And quit being a douche. And cut your hair.

Suede says whackadoodle again. He's back to talk in third person. Someone shoot me.

Great now he's talking about his dead father which makes me sad. Is he going to have a new dead relative for each challenge? Just saying.

You guys, my hands are like the perfect shade of tan.

Tim sends in the models for a fitting and he tells Kenley that her model had to drop out and they are replacing her with Germaine. So she naturally overreacts completely and whines like a total twit.

Jerrell said she probably booked a job that was paying her money and I laugh like a total moron because I thought he said she booked some GUY that was paying her money. Hehe.

Kenley's all well it's all about me right now. When is it not, honey?

Where's Mariah when you need her?

Alright we need to jump ahead because I have to go to the grocery store. Oh wait, Keith is a total bitch and everyone hates him. I think it's the rat tail.

Runway time! The models all do their walks and I must say that everyone did a relatively decent job this episode. It's hard to identify that these are car parts so good on you designers!

Laura Bennett is sitting in for Miss Nina and thank god it isn't Anne "Too much tootie" Slowey. Rachel Zoe is also there and her face should be a good wake up call for Blayne to quit tanning so damn much.

The judges start with Jerrell:

His garment came out quite good. The details are really interesting and he stuck with his futuristic vibe and really made it work. I have no idea how they did that to her hair, but it looks cool as hell. Good job Hobo Chic!

Blayne is next and HELLO fit problems!

It's not ALL bad. The bust doesn't fit, but that could have been fixed with some darting. I also think it's too long and would have looked better at knee length. The judges give him all kinds of shit and he's obvi in the bottom three.

Korto also used seatbelts like Blayne and hers was much more successful.

I was surprised more people didn't use this weaving technique. It ended up really working well for Korto and this piece came out really beautiful. It's chic and well made and looks expensive.

Leanne was another favorite and for good reason.

Her design was amazing. You would never know that those are car parts and it's SO well tailored and well made. It takes a great designer who can make massive hips look sexy and purposeful.

I liked Stella's a lot more when it walked down the runway. I thought the skirt moved well but then we got to the close-ups.

The construction was really poor on this thing. The skirt was gaping in spots and the fit in the top was awful. I liked the idea of it and I appreciated her stepping out of her comfort zone, but this was a big miss.

Fortunately for Stella, Keith crashed, burned and bitched.

On top of being badly made and poorly fitted this was SO boring. I get that he was trying to show restraint or whatever, but come on. This was terrible looking. And do not get me started on the back of this thing. It was awful looking and shittily made. He also talked back to Laura. Her "Excuse me?" with that tight little smile makes her a fun bitch.

Keith is all emotional because he doesn't like criticism. Newsflash Muscles, your in the fashion design industry. People are not going to hold your hand and tell you everything is gorgeous. Blodd, sweat and tears go into making your vision come to life and the public does not always respond well. If you don't know that now, then you are in the wrong line of work.

Leanne is the big winner this week and she and Korto are total front runner's for me right now. They are both showing really strong designs and I'm so impressed with them.

Needless to say, Keith is out and I am only going to miss the hotness factor. He was super mediocre and had such an attitude. He starts crying and I feel bad for two seconds. But whatever, we're weeding out the bad seeds. I'm excited to see who will make it to Bryant Park because we do have some strong talent left.

Alright, I'm of to the grocery store so I can cook up a storm! Have a good week everyone!

Auf Wiedersehn ;)

The Jungle Look -- Project Runway Season, Episode 5

2008-08-13T23:45:00.009-04:00

Oh Emm Gee bitches, has it been a crazy couple of weeks!

We had family in town and I lost my job and I've been working part time retail and am so tired afterward that I'm deadskie and can hardly even watch the show.

Buuuut, I've managed. Emily is gone!! My girl crush is eliminated. Sad face. And Jennifer is gone, but whatevs, she was boring and her Holly Golightly exhibit look was pure boredom.

This weeks episode is upon us and Blanorexia says "dramalicious" in the first two minutes. This season's designers suck ballz in the personality department.

Alex is auf and she actually speaks! She wishes the designers luck, which like never happens. What happened to the whole models should be seen and not heard?

Heidi explains that the designers will be making an outfit for a high powered woman. Blayne says he hopes it's not Hilary Clinton because he'd never win if he made a neon pantsuit.

No.

Shit.

Blayne.

It turns out that Brooke Shields is our special guest! Sweet! Suddenly Susan was the jam back in the day.

Teams of two. Wonderful. Although this does cut back on the multiple outfits on the runway. Hooray for halfsies. The designers show their stuff and Brooke gets to picking.

Keith is first. Big mistake lady. This is supposed to be Lipstick Jungle, not Ruffle Shitstorm. I mean we all saw the TP Dress.

Korto is next whose asthetic I enjoy. I liked her winning outfit last week with the darted pants.

Jerrell is picked and I kind of LOVE him. I really liked his striking inspiration dress even though his Olympics mindset is questionable. He also wears black nail polish which makes me smile.

Kelly is picked and so is Terri. I'm loving on Terri lately. Her asthetic is so sporty compared to all these other cocktail dress loving hags. I dig her.

Blayne is picked last and I sort of want to grab some earplugs since I know there is going to be a bunch of licious crap happening.

Designers pick their pairs and the most awesome pairing is Jerrell and Leatherella. I'm excited for the quotables that might come from this. He was also super sweet by making it not suck that she was picked last.

Passive aggressive designer speak happens at Mood with Kenley "gently" suggesting that Keith listen to her and use this god awful hippie shit fabric. Passive aggressiveness is a huge pet peeve for me.

"Being passive aggressive and kind of snatchy is a great release for me."

Make it work time and the designers get into it right away. Kenley and Daniel are almost immediate in their distaste for their fellow designers visions. Shut up. Please. It's so annoying and just useless.

Suede is questioning Suede and Terri says possibly the most awesome thing ever. "I don't know what he's packing...balls or vajayjay. But he needs to work that out. I ain't got no babies, ain't nobody sucking on my *bleep* (I think she said titty) so please, man up."

Amazing. Honey, Suede is a gay man who speaks in third person with a slightly blue mohawk. Manning up only happens to him when he sees another man, man up. Was that too obvious? It made me giggle.

The models come in for an early fitting and Joe is all drooling over Korto's pumpkin jacket.

So I think it's cute that he's dating Wes and all, but Daniel is a total bitch. He's so "It's not my style, I don't care, I'm not doing it and..." fuck you, watch the show one time before trying out. He was so bitchy last week about his Olympic Airlines costume last week and this week he's being a bitch to Kelly about her look.

"I'm all about high end glamour. Oh, and being a total asshat."

He totally mis-made the skirt which should have been a cake walk and he couldn't be more disgusting about it. "I just didn't care, because it was her design." Nice, bitch.

Tim comes in for a critique and the bitchassness starts.

Uh-oh, Korto's jacket thingymabob looks like a sweet potato parka. The dress underneath is nice, but super simple. Joe comes out of left field that he doesn't like the parka thing and he totally seems like an under the bus thrower. Watch your back JHud.

Joe's all, "I was just trying to make a gentle suggestion, and she flipped her shit." A 180 degree opinion change is not what I would call gentle.

Things seem to be going well for Jerrell and Stella. I was so hoping there would be hilariousness between them but they are working so harmoniously together.

It's like they are one person. Jereather?

It's the day of the runway show and all the designers are poo pooing each other's work. Specifically Kenley is questioning where Daniel's impeccable taste is. And no lie, so am I.

Hair, makeup, five minutes until the show...

"And some of you are still sewing? Question Mark?" I fucking want to marry Tim Gunn.

Let's start the show!

If you like me, check this box...

First we have Korto and Joe with their submission.

I must say that this jacket looks a shit ton better then it did on day one. They edited it well and while it still looks a bit like a halloween snow jacket, I dig it.

Korto and Joe were safe as were Terri and Suede. I thought Terri's look was great, but it was a bit young for the assignment.

And here's Kelly and Daniel's design. Orangina sums it up beautifully. "Slutty, slutty, slutty"

Kelly picks Daniel to go home since this is total shit and Daniel starts rattling off about his impeccable taste and high end glamour and womp, womp, womp. That's when Kenley loses her shit on the runway and it's SO uncomfortable.

Daniel is starting at her all intense and greasy and she's sort of a total bitch.

"You're going to club her in the knees, aren't you?"

My fave team this week is next and hello Jerrell, way to work it out, girl! Granted, his submission is majorly different then his drawing but it's put together well, the fabrics work gorgeously and it looks age and character appropriate.

Keith and Kenley are next and this isn't ba at all. I think that the idea is beautiful. The shirt was incredible interesting and came out so nice. The trick with the sleeves was neat and showed how Keith really paid attention to the challenge.

Here is the design for Blayne and Leanne. I don't think it's right for the challenge, but I know I'm in the minority in that I really like the actual design. I thought it was fresh looking albeit too casual. There are major fit problems going on in the crotchal region that made poor Polina look like she was packing heat, but the colors were great.

I also really liked that Blayne didn't throw Leanne under the bus since she was a good partner and it was his design. The judges call him bratty, which I get, but I found that to be a very mature move on his part, which has failed many others in the past.

So Keith wins it and I really felt that Jerrell was robbed. I personally liked his design better and thought that they were both suitable for the challenge, but Jerrell's was more of a risk and just better looking.

Kelly and Blayne are the last two standing and I knew Kelly was toast. She was good the first week but average from that point forward. Blayne had a better and less trashy design as well.

I thought Daniel should have been considered more for the auf'ing due to his shit attitude and crappy submissions each week, but I think Kelly deserved it even though I liked her. It was a cheap looking outfit which is never a good thing.

Next week there are drag queens! Excellent!

And on a finaly note. What in hobo hell was Jerrell wearing this episode? Or any episode for that matter?

For real, he looks like Little Orphan Tranny.

It's Not Easy Being Green - PR Season 5, Episode 2

2008-07-25T17:59:00.005-04:00

Our second episode of the season opens on Suede alone in his room waxing philosophical about Bobby Lee getting the boot last week. And Suede is still talking in the third person, which AJ finds increasingly annoying.

Wandering over to 17J, Terry and Leatherella are making some nasty ass looking drink with all kinds of grass in it. And judging by Stella's eyes most of the time, I do mean "all kinds".

I'm just kidding! You can't drink marijuana.

But for real, it looks like her trash bags from last week took a crap in a glass. Stella is OMGing about still being in the competition and suddenly seems to realize that this is a serious competition. Thanks for the joining the party, genius.

Apparently I've been spelling "Holla at ya boy" wrong. I guess it's "atcha". I guess I don't carelicious.

There is model picking and I guess I was wrong last week. Not all the models are homely. Just a select few. One of them gets the boot. The models are going to be clients for their respective designers.

Twist time! The models are going to be shopping for "green" fabric to make a cocktail dress.

Oh damn, I hate Keith's glasses and am I totally insane or does he have a mini, curly, rat tail in the back of his head? I might have to redirect my crush this season. Rat tail's are not okay.

I guess we'll never know...

I'm a bit surprised that the models seems so lost at Mood. You'd think that since they are involved in the fashion industry, they'd no more. But models aren't always known for being the sharpest pin in the box.

There is consulting, there is pattern making, Kelly calls Leatherella Drapey Draperson and it makes me smile because Stella starts freaking about draping. And I'm over her more then I was before.

Suede starts cutting strips of his fabric and has a whole convo with himself in third person, completely alienating the other designers.

"Suede's really sad. Suede's going to go home and cry all night long. Leanne likes Suede, but Suede needs to stop talking in third person."

AJ agrees with Leanne.

Tim comes in to scare everyone and Korto starts talking about her dress. It's cute. Inside out, but cute. Oh...it's not inside out? Oooooh...

Tim is clearly concerned and then says "hot mess" and I love him so much!

Suede's strips are looking fug and my mom audibly "ewed" it. I love her too. Wesley's dress looks like doody. Fertilizer is eco-friendly and organic, right? Ten bucks says that fabric smelled bad.

Leanne is in need of some editing, and coincidentally decides to keep adding shit to her dress. That always makes sense.

Stella is bitching more about the fabric and saying how she wishes every challenge was with "leathah" and wow, her voice is annoying.

Roblayne says something about her having a leather cat and it makes me smile. The Leatherella tells him to remove the leather strip from his teeth, referring to his gap. I have a gap too, bitch. Watch it. Then Blayne tells her he loves her leather face and I forgive him a smidge for that girlicious bullshit.

Oh my damn, he just called his model "Liciousness". I take everything back.

*random side note time* Kendall the model looks like a prettier version of Kate Bosworth. And I'm developing a girl crush on Emily.

Jerrell notes that "The looks on some of the designers faces, especially Team Ugly Brown Fabric, is kind a look of concern. And I think justly so." Not as quotable as "I am SALTY!!!" but true for sure. I think I'm going to like this queen.

I like salty foods.

The runway is upon us and as a surprise to no one, it's Natalie Portman, whom I LOVE!

The models start their strutting and I actually really like most of the looks. Some of them came out shitty, but overall things are looking cute.

I liked Terri's a lot since her fabric was so different from everyone else's. I also like Blayne's with the color blocks and Emily's with the braiding in the back.

Let's get to the winners and auf'ers.

Kenley is up first and it's super cute. The belt looks amazing with it and while it's a bit tight in the bust, it's very flattering to the model.

Wesley gets torn a new one and his garment does look REALLY overworked. It's not god-awful, but the fabric is certainly doing it no favors. Everyone is talking about Nina's "I think shiny, tight and short, is the quickest way to look cheap" comment. Hi Heidi!! It's been said, but it's still funny.

"OMG, did you see Heidi's short, shiny, tight outfit? How do you say 'cheap' in German?"

On to Leatherella. I sort of hate that she's in the top three since I can't stand her. I just hate how she's so willing to give up and just eff everything. There are plenty of other talented designers that would love to take your place, at least give it a try. I don't hate the dress, but I liked other designs a lot better.

Korto is also given a beating over her hemlines and the odd choice of backward darts. It would have worked if it were tailored better and I think if the darts weren't so thick. If they were more subtle, like piping, it would have gone over much prettier.

Next is Suede, and I must say that his dress ended up a lot better then I imagined it would. It's still a little strange to me, but it looks great on his model and is definitely interesting.

Leanne's dress needs editing. Like Tim said to her hours ago. She kept throwing shit on there and it looks that way.

Suede wins, and I'm not so sure I agree with it. It took a ton of work to do his design and it looked good, but I responded better to Kenley's. And Suede talks in the third person like a total douche.

Wesley has been auf'ed. Oh sad! I thought it would be Leanne but that fabric was just a disaster and I'm not surprised they were the bottom two.

There are still a shit ton of designers and this episode felt a little boring. Next week, it seems that the designers are all trying to kill each other, so that should make for more interesting blogging. Guess we'll have to wait and see...licious.

Designers of the Round Table...cloth - Project Runway, Season 5

2008-07-17T15:17:00.013-04:00

Well, well, well...we're back I see. And so quickly! While the wait between Season's 3 & 4 seemed endless, this was has been (obviously) rushed.

No matter, since it's my favorite show. I can't complain too much, except that Bravo is seriously trying to ruin the franchise before the big jump to Lifetime (really? Lifetime? I at least hope that one of the challenges involve the designers making an outfit for a pregnant/raped/kidnapped Tori Spelling/Candace Cameron/Jennifer Love Whatever for her upcoming role in the Lifetime Original Movie, Not Without my Recycled Storyline - The Story of Washed-Up Actresses).

I am avoiding the spoilers just out of principal. You will not ruin this for me, bitches!

Let's move on to the task at hand. I'm back! My job is in it's slow season and I think I can sneak a couple hours away each week, during work, to start recapping again. Chicka-chicka-yeah.

This time around, we're back to 16 designers. That's a lot of people to meet and they all come in to the Gotham apartments, while the screen shows off their respective portfolios.

Most notable for me are Leanne, because I thought her portfolio was really gorgeous; Keith, cuz he's hot as balls; and Suede because his name is dumb. Oh, and Korto because I think she looks like Jennifer Hudson. I got confused and half expected Paula to show up and tell Heidi that she enjoyed the unicorns flying out of her ass or something.

We also find out that Blayne is a tanorexic.

I sincerely hope that isn't bronzer.

Oh, honey, why?

I also figure out that someone, somewhere has made American Flag leggings. Aaaand, Stella is wearing them. Everyone is giving her the Cher edit, but I'm getting a distinct Illeana Douglas vibe from her. A goth, American Flag Leggings wearing vibe, but nonetheless.

Leggings? Leather? Ugly is as leather boy shorts does, I guess.

Heidi and Tim invite the crazies up to the roof and Tim likely breaks a windshield via champagne cork. They do the requisite meet 'n greet party, but as far as I know there were no walk-off's.

I'm rather sure Blayne set-up a lawnchair for melanoma reasons, though.

Let's get to the challenge, shall we?

The designers are going on a field trip (I feel like I've been here before). Tim leads them through New York only to end up at Gristedes. Wait a second, we HAVE been here before! Tim says there's a special guest joining them, and before she even pops on screen, I know it's got to be Princess Austin!

Scarlett O'Homo

I literally lost my shit and turned to my mom and said "He looks beeeaaauuutiiifuuul!" while clapping like a seal. I am so easily pleased. But, on the real, I think Austin is my most favorite designer, from all seasons of Project Runway. I loved his designs on the show and am so pleased that he's made a name for himself in the business with his opportunity.

I did notice that he was not wearing lipgloss though, and that sort of made me sad.

The producers have finally run out of new ideas and are reverting back to Season 1's premiere challenge: The Supermarket Challenge!

As you all know, the designer's each get $75 and 30 minutes to ransack Gristedes for materials to create an innovative look out of everyday items.

Keith, come show us which way the beach is...

In Season 1, this challenge was so much fun and really showcased how the designers can think outside the box. Interesting items purchased: bouncy balls, Solo cups, vacuum cleaner bags and mops.

Back at Parsons, the designers begin to transform their grocery items into fashion and the results start off super iffy.

Stilleana bought trash bags to use for her design, and upon opening the packaging discovers that they are not good trash bags. Okay, rock star, what did you expect? When your design revolves around trash bags the quality of the bag becomes a moot point. Whether it's a great trash bag or a dollar store one, it's still a trash bag.

She starts bemoaning the dollar store quality trash bags and doesn't think she'll be able to do anything with it. If only trash bags came in American Flag print.

Tanorexia starts fitting and pinning his dress form with drawer liners and actually calls them, I shit you not, "girlicious".
Ummmmmmm...yeeeaaaahh.

I hope Nicole Sherzinger likes place mats.

Jerrell has a similar response to mine and finds it heinously annoying.

But Tano keeps saying it and I wonder if he really wants his attempt at a catchphrase to remind everyone of the Pussycat Dolls. I never watched this trash, but since I'm an avid Top Model fan I used to see commercials for Pussycat Dolls: Girlicious constantly. Given that this project was the brainchild of PCD founder Robin Antin, I am officially dubbing Blayne: Roblayne Tantin.

It's obvious that he's desperately trying to capitalize on the success of Christian's feircetrannymess bit from last season, but it's seriously not working for me right now.

Murmurings are made throughout the workroom that a lot of people picked similar items with their use of table cloths.

Uh-oh, table cloths are basically muslin but with a picnic pattern on them. And since muslin = fabric, and this challenge is about being innovative with strange materials, the majority of the designers get an ass ripping from Tim during his first go-round.

Oh, snap. You bitches better run.

Tim straight up calls them 'slackers', and he's totally spot on. Ugly table fabric is not innovative, it's just ugly. And Tim looks super peeved.

He meets with Kelli, who's had a flash of brilliance by dying vacuum cleaner bags. The paper really looks like high end painted fabric and is starting to come together nicely.

Tim also check in on Stella and she hasn't done much aside from opening the package of trash bags and staring at it for a few hours. Whatever, I'm already over her.

He also checks in with Jerry who is making some batshit crazy April Showers, Bring May Fugliness outfit. He's trying to create a raincoat out of shower curtains and it's turning out very strange looking. Tim thinks he needs something else with it and Jerry agrees.

And I might be crazy, but the second I saw Jerry, I thought he looked like Bobby Lee from MadTV.

Yes? No? Does it matter?

And on the subject of people looking like...people... This picture of Emily at Gristedes, is giving me a major Juliette Lewis vibes.

I imagine it's the oddly placed headband, but since I sort of have a secret girl crush on Juliette Lewis, I'm going to let it slide.

While Tim is in the workroom, he stops at Roblayne's station and asks him what the fug he's making. Tano says it's an outfit that won't bore the judges, and Tim agrees.

When Tim goes to leave, Roblayne tells him to "Holla at ya boy!"

Really?

I didn't want to do this, but you've left me no choice. You want girlicious?

Here.

Strangely enough, he fits in. I think it's the skin tone. All he needs is a bad weave and ugly boots.

There are some things you just don't say to Tim Gunn.

This thing is getting long with me talking about absolutely nothing, so lets jump to the runway portion.

The designers are all assigned models, and I must say, it's a pretty homely bunch this go 'round. Is Bravo trying to make this season total shit?

Everyone struts their designs out on the runway, and it's clear who the top and bottom folks are, although there are a couple I disagree with.

For starters, there were two I liked a lot that I think were near the top of the group, but not quite top 3 quality.

This dress was Jennifer's, she of the librarian looks, and was made out of paper towels. It's a rather simple shape, but using paper towels was a great move. It really came out looking like fabric which was nice. I also enjoyed the touch of random lipstick kisses. Plus, the styling was great.

This outfit was Terri's, and while the bottom part was ugly and unimaginitive, I really liked that mop halter. I really responded well to those designers who thought outside of the box, insted of just gluing shit to a table cloth and calling it innovation.

The top three I did agree with and the innovation they used was genius.

While Korto used a table cloth, the silhouette came out beautiful and the color really worked on her model, which was fortunate. I also thought that this was the most beautifully tailored piece out of all of them.

And the detailing around the neck was flawless.

Daniel used plastic beer pong cups (at least that's what they are to me) to make a cocktail dress. He heated and molded the plastic around a muslin shell and it came out really cool.

It's a little bit armor-like and it makes me want to play flip cup, but I thought the idea was smart and really original.

The winner was Kelli who really went for broke in her usage of everyday materials to create her look.

I kind of hated the fit on the boobs, but that's a small complaint because the rest was gorgeous. She made her own hooks and eyes out of notebook binding! Awesome. And a totally deserved win.

But enough niceness, lets move on to the shit.

And shit it was.

I'll start with Roblayne, but only because I didn't think his was THAT bad.

Don't get me wrong, it looked like shit and Little Miss Muffett wasn't making it any better with his ego about it. My argument against it being in the bottom three was how much better it enveloped the idea of the challenge then some of the other pieces.

For example, Suede's dress was ugly and easy. He sewed a piece of shit dress out of an ugly table cloth and glued doggie doo bags all over it.

I'm just thinking that the judges should have thought more about difficulty then beauty.

Speaking of easy and ugly.

Trash. Hag.

I'm not going to give this much time, because she gave up and that shit pisses me off.

Alas, Bobby Lee was the one who got the boot. And boy, did he deserve it!

The serial killer references have been made, I know. But, on the real, she looked like Ryan Gosling in Murder By Numbers with that get-up.

And, while I love me some Ryan Gosling, this was not okay. On top of being wholly creepy, it was poorly made and unimaginitive. Plus, the dress underneath was total shit.

So we have one down and fifteen to go and I'm happy to be back to blogging. I'll also be chronically my (hopeful) weight loss as I've rejoined Weight Watchers to get rid of my juicy parts =)

See you all next week!

I'm a Neglectful Skank

2008-01-17T12:53:00.000-05:00

So I got a new job and the process of having the holidays and then dealing with a septoplasty and then getting a new job has seriously taken it's toll on my blogging time.

That and my spare time has been slim to none.

This is the first week of the new job but I'm going to try really hard to blog about this weeks episode. So much has happened! Jacks sick, Steven is gone!!, and then the sure fire dark horses, Kevin and Kit are eliminated back to back?! What the fuck Bravo?

Anyway, as a consolation I'll leave you bitches with a darling picture of my puppy.

He's a doll baby.

Promise to try!!!

Made in the 80's - Project Runway Season 4, Episode 4

2007-12-06T09:56:00.000-05:00

So, when I was a freshman in college, I had this muscle tee-shirt that said "Made in the 80's" on it in gold lettering. It was quirky in the sense that I was born in '82 and the shirt looked so dated it could very well have been made and designed then. Of course, everyone and their mother got a version of it, so I was forced to retire it early.

I don't really have a point to this story aside from pointing out my questionable taste in clothing as an 18 year old. That and it works with the title of this post.

So as well all know by now, the designers were split into teams of three and given some of the most offensive fashion fads of the 70's, 80's and early 90's to recreate.

Most of the fads were 80's inspired.

Unfortunately.

From giant frilly poodle skirts to oversized sweaters, our dear designers were tasked with updating these looks and making a cohesive collection.

I know, right!

Stephen's perplexed face echoed mine to a tee.

Ugh. Dancewear.

And our loveliest judge who isn't the host, Miz Nina Garcia was on hand to present the challenge in the workroom.

This picture is totally candid.

I figured that with all the nasty fashion Nina's head would start spinning around and pea soup would start spewing from her face.

Anne Slowey's tootie should be so lucky.

Anyway, I was really hoping for some drama as I heard little twitters that there would be some good fighting between Ricky and Victorya and between Jillian and anyone within hearing range.

The built-up drama was for naught however, as both of these "fights" were rather mild-mannered and well communicated. There was no crying, no crying and cutting and no model stealing.

Oh, wait. Jack totally ganked Ricky's model.

You total bitch.

At least Ricky didn't cry. Again.

And at least Jack handled himself better then Shetangi and apologized. What's with all the niceness?!?!

Anyway, so the teams were Jillian, Rami and Kevin with Jillian as the lead; Chris, Sweet P and Stephen with Chris leading; Christian, Kit and Jack with Christian as the fearless one and Ricky, Elisa and Victorya enlisting Ricky as their leader.

Throughout this whole episode I found that several designers reminded me of people or characters I've seen.

For example. There is something about Stephen that totally makes me think that he is the lovechild of Ryan Phillipe, Wallace Shawn and Andrae. It's weird.

Like, totally weird. I'm also beginning to think I'm crazy.

He's so totally adorable and sweet though.

In other Celebrity look-a-like news, the more I see Jillian:

The more I see this:

Above would be Ally Sheedy starring in the 1986 classic, Short Circuit as Stephanie. (If you've never seen this movie, do yourself a favor and rent it this weekend. "No disassemble!")

I'm not saying that Jillian looks like Ally Sheedy, but the way she dresses and wears her hair is really reminiscent to me of this character. She has that late 80's early 90's casual style with the overalls and button down shirts.

I also had no idea that Stephanie was played by Ally Sheedy.

Perhaps I've completely lost it. Anyone feelin' where I'm coming from?

And speaking of overalls, they just happened to be one of the outdated trends featured.

They ALSO just happened to be Jillian's bottom of choice that day. I can't lie, her overalls are sort of cute.

But.

Still.

They are overalls!

Jillian has this weird, sort of hippie 80's style that's been given a punch of classiness that somehow works for her. I also think she's lying when she says she is 26. She carries herself much older in my opinion.

Along with Rami and Kevin, Jillian won the challenge and proved that I'm not wrong about her and she is sort of awesome!

Cute!!

Like really cute. You know, considering these looks were inspired by Poodle Skirts, 70's Wear and flippin' Overalls they came out well made, fashionable and wearable.

At least to a point.

Rami's dress was a little on the "milkmaid" side of things and Jillians wide leg overalls were a bit much but these looks could have easily walked off a sportwear runway and they were coheseive.

Which is more then can be said for the other three teams.

Someone did not get the memo.

Okay, I lied. This is very cohesive. But where is the pleather?! Where is the fringe??

Not that I think pleather or fringe is a good thing, it's just that; wasn't that a facet of the challenge?

The zoot suit (seriously?) is clearly represented, but in all honesty a pin stripe isn't so hard to factor in to recent fashion. Or to create a series of looks.

The outfits were cute but not nearly as challenge minded as Jillian's team.

The team worked well together though and Christian seemed to lead well.

About Christian:

Where's my chihuahua?!

Firstly, I keep typing "Christina". This isn't his fault. I'm a dyslexic typer apparently.

Something that is his fault:

The fact that he talks like Paris Hilton. If you listen to him, he says things that are just so Hilton-esque that it makes me a little vommy.

In fact, he actually said that something was "So hot" this episode.

There's nothing wrong with this, per se, but his tone is so Parisified that it makes me want to slap some originality into him.

This bitch is clearly talented but I think he's so young that he's grabbing at other people's individuality and forgetting his own. Get your shit together Christian. You're a talented little pockey gay, start acting like one.

Or don't. It is KINDA entertaining. And I sort of love you anyway.

I mean, I have no idea what's happening here, but I want in!

It appears that Little Christian and Kit have made a non-working (or is it?) Karaoke machine.

And they're using it.

And I want to play too.

Look at everyone all happy and cheery!

Why doesn't Bravo play these scenes? It's nice to catch a little glimpse of the designers having fun and not trying to shiv each other.

Project Idol?

Loves it!

What I don't love:

Neon, cutouts and visible underpinnings.

This sort of spelled disaster from the beginning.

That and you had Ricky McCryBaby as your leader. Victorya should have quit her bitching and taken over.

I'll cut you with my raised eyebrow.

The fit and proportions were weird, but so was the fabric choice.

That being said, this color scheme wasn't much better:

But the clothes were so PRETTY!!

The designs weren't bad. Maybe I'm just in denial.

I thought Sweet P's dress was totally adorable for one thing.

Stephen's was okay, and wearble but dancewear? Not so much.

Now, onto Chris.

Good lord, I'm going to miss this one.

I thought his dress was really beautiful. Simple, yes. But it fit well and was constructed well too.

However, the jacket wasn't so nice. I get that people didn't like the fabric and that the fit was weird, but his outdated trend was SHOULDER PADS! Shoulder pads make everything fit weird.

I hated that the judges kept saying it was wide. I kept yelling "Shoulder pads!" at my TV.

I am so sad faced at his auf'ing because he'd done beautiful work up until this point and this was Chris's first stumble. I was hoping that he'd last awhile and we could delve deeper into his creativity.

Ricky has been in the bottom before. Why does he keep getting chances? I know Kors just wants to make him cry. That fickle bitch.

Al....most.......there......

Chris was sacrificed and it sucks. I think Ricky was more deserving but alas, I'm not Donna Karan.

Thank god.

I know. I'm hilarious.

I think Chris would have benefited from combining those 80's fads into multiple garments a la Jillian's team, rather then separating them.

But again, they were using 80's fads. And that's never a good thing.

I'm waiting for the designers to start dwindling down. It gets more fun and recapping becomes easier. There's too much shit to talk about right now.

It's making me see shit that isn't there. Like Andrae Phillipawn.

Miraculously, it's Friday at 2:45 and I'm done, which means my recap will be on time. Hooray!

Until next week, I'd like to leave you with the cutest picture ever.

The designers are so orally fixated this season!

Sexy ;)

Enjoy your week everyone!!

Tackling Menswear - Project Runway, Season 4, Episode 3

2007-11-30T12:26:00.001-05:00

So I missed week one's BPR recapapalooza by like an hour.

And I missed last week's recap completely. Stupid family holidays. And it was Sarah Jessica Freakin' Parker!! If I ever get a couple of free hours, I might recap it, but as it was for Bitten, it was more boring then it could have been.

Onto this week. We have another guest to design for! Imagine that =)

Today's guest is none other then Giants star running back and all around handsome man, Tiki Barber. He's also the new host of Good Morning America or something. As a football fan, I mostly know Tiki as a killer running back. Seeing him all buttoned up and reporting is tres weird.

Still handsome though.

As we all know, I'm a big football fan, most notably the Redskins and most notably, Chris Cooley. I'm not so fickle though as to not care for the rest of my team and I'd like to take a moment to pay tribute and remember one of my favorite players from the past few years. Sean Taylor was murdered last week at his home in Miami. On top of being a member of the Redskins, he was also an incredible player. As a tackle, he was one of the most feared in the NFL and as a young man, he was just beginning his life with his fiancee and daughter. It's a damn shame and incredibly sad and since there was football featured in the episode, I thought I'd take a quick moment to honor a man who was on his way to being one of the greats.

This is Project Runway though and one thing I never thought I'd see on Runway is anything football related. It just doesn't go. And a menswear challenge is sort of mean spirited but we'll get into that in a minute.

Two of my favorite things to watch on TV have collided! And while it wasn't quite as disasterous as expected, it was a smidge on the boring side.

Although hot male models were around in abundance, so I really can't complain that much.

Yeah, could we actually get menswear challenges more often? That'd be great.

If they stick with football players and got Chris Cooley on next time, I could die one happy bitch.

So male models and gay designers and female hormones must have made for one sexually tense workroom.

Oh, except for Kevin. Did you guys know that Kevin ISN'T gay?? I know, right. A male designer who is straight. It's like an endangered species or something.

Except for, you know, Jeffrey, and Michael, and Vincent, (although his crazy factor makes him almost non-human anyway) and Robert, and if you combined Daniel V and Santino you'd get most of one, and parts of Daniel Franco (wait, seriously?).

Newsflash Kevin, staight designers aren't THAT rare, but kudos to you for beating us over the head with it. Much appreciated. You're straight, we get it.

Although that left hand does look a bit swishy and your facial hair is sort of immaculate.

But seriously, all doubt of his straightitude was put to rest when they met Tiki Barber, and Kevin not only knew who he was and what team he played for, but he knew the position and that Tiki was one of the best. Congrats Kevin! You've passed the test. Or something.

But enough about you, you straight piece of man meat and purple shirt making fool.

Does biting my nails make me look more manly?

Let's move on to the gays! Most notably, Jack who won this challenge.

Turns out Jack is incredibly muscular. His design was a little "Eh, it's okay" boring, but I think he won because he's the only designer that actually looks like a football player.

He's built like a linebacker! You know Tiki was all, "Yeah I'd wear that, but put that dude in a helmet and some pads and lets run some drills!"

Ummmm. No.

Jack doesn't strike me as the football type.

Here's his design though. Again, eh, boring.

Yes it's well put together and OH MY GOD!! the pocket is a cross stripe. Whoopy freakin' do.

I didn't get the judges going all ga ga over this when more intricate and better designs were ushered off the runway and didn't even make top three.

This was Jillian's design. I thought the fit was immaculate, it is four FINISHED pieces and the use of a colorful print on the shirt was interesting and in line with what the client asked for. Granted, I probably wouldn't have gone floral, but oddly enough it works.

I'm developing a total designer crush on Jillian. Her first dress was really adorable and her pre-show runway pieces were incredible. I think she's been underrated so far by the judges.

Hellraiser 15: Unappreciated Fashionista

I'm excited to see how she'll fare for the rest of the season.

I'm also starting to find Elisa overtly interesting in the way she designs.

I have no idea what she's doing here but it works. While her look was a bit Newsies it was well constructed. She's sort of nutty but in a happy way.

The rest of the best were Kevin and Kit. I can't lie, both of these looks were really strong, and again I'm surprised that Jack beat them out.

This look was awesome and I'm surprised it didn't win. The colors would have been great with Tiki's skin tone and the look was really sharp with a cool twist.

I'm just shocked a straight male designer pulled this off, because you know Kevin's not gay. Okay, I'm stopping. Seriously.

Maybe it's straight descrimination? We'll never know.

Kit's look had some issues but the overall thought process was really great. I didn't love the yellowish tint to the pant fabric and the jacket was a bit ill fitting, but the idea of using fleece was brilliant. It's a more casual look yet still really polished and since Tiki has a difficult frame to fit, fleece was a really smart idea.

Kit's totally growing on me. Her Bitten look, while legging based was also a favorite of mine from last week.

Plus, she's sort of adorable.

She's like Alison 2.0 or something. But potentially more talented and edgier.

You know who else is totally adorable?

He's so soft spoken and sweet! And his designs have been rather strong so far. I mean, aside from Marion's disaster from last week.

He's like a softer, less teary version of Andrae.

AND he's helpful! If he goes out on some weird fluerchon corset making Challenge in week 8, I won't be happy.

The whole drama of "borrowing" patterns from pants already being worn was dumb. Tim was even asked and said that was fine. Menswear is a pain as we'll see in a moment from the bottom three. It's harder to execute and most designers are geared towards womenswear. This challenge was borderline evil, but it really was better then I thought it would be.

Now, for the crap.

Ricky:

Not THAT crappy. I'm pretty sure the judges slapped him in the bottom to make him cry again. He's a lingerie designer and he made three pieces of menswear! That's a pretty big accomplishment. Yes the fit was a bit off and there were pins, but it wasn't THAT bad.

Poor Ricky. He's totally their puppet now.

Sweet P:

This wasn't good. The collar was just a fucking mess. Sweet P seemed to know early on that she'd have trouble though and I can't lie, I admire her for sticking to it.

She wholly committed to fucking up royally and that's an okay thing.

I'm so fucked.

Like, I'm seriously fucked.

Damn, Sweet P is fucked.

You know you're totally fucked, right?

But, at least she made a shirt.

Oh, Carmen. Where did it all go so wrong?

The crotch on the pants was 50 kinds of awkward the jacket was lopsided and the hat was ugly.

Oh yeah, you didn't make a shirt either.

All of the other designers at least had the basics. Pants and a shirt. It wasn't always pretty, it was always complete, but it was there.

See, this REPRESENTS a shirt.

No. It doesn't.

It's a piece of fabric draped over his nipples. You would have been better off sending him shirtless.

At least then I could have ogled a bit more.

She was clearly overly confident and missed the mark completely. Oh well, I didn't see her going far anyway. I always feel like these first several episodes always get rid of the sacrificial lambs in most instances.

Except for Malan of course.

Two of these bitches are totally fucked.

So it's Tuesday the afternoon before episode four airs. I suck at blogging!

On that note, I'll leave you with Heidi-son and her new catch phrase:

Sayonara!

Are You Ready to Runway - Project Runway Season 4, Episode 1

2007-11-15T11:01:00.000-05:00

Aaaaaand, we're back!

It's been ages since I've blogged, so forgive me what few readers I maintain. I've had nothing to blog about as I live an exceedingly boring life and live vicariously through aspiring fashion designers.

When we last left the Runway, Jeffrey won the whole thing with a pretty rockin' Bryant Park collection, Laura Bennett became my hero and Heidi Klum had 3000 more babies.

But it's time for season 4 and you know what that means!! Pre-judging on all accounts. What fun!

I have seen the photos of the pre-runway Runway show, and so I developed biases and opinions. Imagine that!!

So far I'm loving on Jillian, Chris, Christian, Jack, Sweet P and Rami.

After the first episode, not much has changed.

The formula is the same, with a few noteable changes. Bluefly and Gotham being the main ones. That and Tim's title is different. But this all matters naught, because Tim is BACK!

Lordy, I was going through withdrawal.

The world makes sense all of a sudden! Tim Gunn is my drug and you bitches can make me go to rehab.

Now that that's over, we have introductions and people meeting and blah blah blah. Let's get down to the goods, shall we?

The designers meet Tim and Heidi at Bryant Park and are forced to Amazing Race it across a big field to a tent of $50K worth of fabric.

I love that Sweet P took her shoes off. A girl after my own heart. I can't tear apart expensive fabric in heels. Nor would I do it in leggings, but that's a whole other story.

So poor Chris March almost has a heart attack, because newsflash: He's a bit chubbly. Fortunately he claims to have gotten the fabric he would have wanted. He's either lucky or lying. I like him already.

Hilariously, there is only one fabric not chosen. These designing bitches tear apart the tent fabric but leave this poor dead animal:

It's all very "The Cheese Stands Alone".

But for reals, it's ugly.

Maybe Kit Pistol could have used it for a pillow?

It looks softer then that bag. And Kit Pistol? Seriously? I dig a girl with a point of view and all, but come on.

So the designers are to make a design that expresses their vision or some such thing. Basically you have free reign with this fabric to do what you want. Sort of similar to season two but with good fabric instead of crap muslin.

Interestingly, to me at least, I imagine each piece in muslin just to assess the design more then how the fabric was working with the design. Opinions on that later though.

We're back in the workroom, making it work and carrying on and Rami has a beautiful body...

Disagree with me, I dare you.

The designers work and bitch and bitch and work and Christian says he's "kind of a big deal."

I'd hate to break it to you darling, but you're "kind of" a few years too late to still be saying that.

Tim mentions the Blue Fly wall being at the designers disposal and I can't lie, it's the best accessories wall they've had. I love Blue Fly.

Wants it! All of it!

In the mean time, Elisa is a total nutbag and I love her. She's already been pegged Earth Mother by fans and it's quite suitable. She's all "I love tea and grass and the world and air and teal scrunch boots." I like her already.

Turns out she's quite talented as well, but the whole marionette thing scares the shit out of me. Thankfully there are no pictures, otherwise I'd be hiding under my bed right now.

In the workroom, there is a lot of editing toward Simone and Elisa, so you already know they're going to eff up royally. Whatevs. Tell me how to think Bravo. It makes my life easier.

Speaking of the workroom, I notice that Ricky has an affinity for hats.

Well, that's not good.

It gets slightly worse though, as the designer head to the runway, Ricky's changed his hat.

Oh.

No.

You are aware that you are essentially wearing a train conducter's hat, right Ricky?

See the similiarities?

True story. Ricky has always dreamed of being a train conducter. This whole lingerie fashion thing is a total side gig for his real ambitions.

Well, Ricky, now your dream has come true!

He looks so blissful!

But, back to the fashion at hand.

I barely remember what Ricky sent on the runway as I've seen it before at Vicky' Secret. Pretty, but boring. He was in the bottom three, but thankfully he's safe!

I want to keep making fun of his hats =)

In other news, it seems that to relieve runway stress the designers perform cheerleading routines.

Hop on Christian!! We'll totally basket toss you!!!

I guess it turns out the designers were actually doing yoga or something.

But since the producers didn't show us these clips but posted the pics on Bravo's website, I'm just going to keep making shit up.

That being said, I like Sweet P's dress a lot. That is all. I will wait here for MY basket toss.

Somewhere, I'll recap the fashion. Let's do it now!

What I liked:

Rami. His dress was draped beautifully and it won. Draping ain't easy folks. I must say that I definitely agree with those who thought it was very Grecian and toga like.

She looks very at home, no?

It was a beautiful dress, but I'm not so sure it should have won.

I much preferred Christian's look. It was incredibly intricate and fashion forward.

A lot of folks didn't like the fabrics he used, but this takes me back to seeing everything in muslin. I, personally, liked the plaid and thought it was very chic, but if you saw this look in muslin it would still be stylish, and well constructed. I also thought it was the most interesting look on the runway. Trendy, but original.

Christian also looks a lot like my main gay's boyfriend. Maybe that's why I like him so much.

Anycrap, I also thought Jillian's look was very strong.

Fun and flirty and the color was wonderful. Plus, the shoes were hot as hell.

Jack's was great as well.

When he was first talking about the blue, black and white together and I thought of my high school mascot (those were our colors). But it came out so wearable and adorable. Love it.

Seeing the runway, Chris March's dress made the biggest impact for me. The way his fabric caught the light and shimmered was absolutely breathtaking. It was my initial favorite.

I went back to the whole muslin thing though. If this were in a less beautiful fabric it may not have gone over so well. It's still constructed masterfully and the detailing it wonderful.

Is that a giant fleurchon?!

I take back everything!

Just kidding! The design was great, but I do think Christian's was more innovative.

So I've gone over the good. And I'm about to do the bad. But I'd like to go over the hilarious first.

Steven's outfit was incredible in construction and detailing, but I couldn't help but get an overwhelming flight attendant vibe from it.

I was going to photoshop his model in front of a plane or something, but then I found the best picture ever.

Okay, so I know that the whole "real doll" thing is so hot right now, but this is a little ridiculous!

Did Steven happen to go to the Robert Best School of Designing for Barbie?

The bad. Naturally, it consists of Simone and Elisa.

Earth Mother is seriously talented. Her dress was cut on one seam! And I can't lie, the top was alright.

But girl! I have two words for you. Ed. It.

Plus those boots are fug. This is a total scrolldown for hideous fashion. The bottom was 15 kinds of horrid. She just threw shit at it. Unfortunately it stuck.

She was even all "My instincts said to stop." No shit. Then she made this weird noise to simulate scissors cutting the fabric poo off. I wish I could spell out the noise, but I can't. Just know it was awesome.

As we all know, Simone got the boot. Her dress was ugly and crappily made.

And that jacket was ill fitting.

And the hair was ugly. And the shoes were boring.

And I was unsurprised by her auf'ing.

Elisa overdid it, but she at least has skills.

So, the show is back and my photoshopping skills are lacking.

All important ingredients for a season of fun!! We're sure to have standout personalities and bitch fights galore.

Not to mention the fashion ;)

I can't wait! Can you?

Until next time, it's "sew" time to go watch football.

Kisses, bitches!

Hokie Pride

2007-04-18T14:22:00.000-04:00

I stood outside last night holding a candle.

I was wrapped in a blanket and on any other Tuesday evening, I would be glued to the television in American Idol anticipation.

Instead, I was holding back tears. I have thought so much over the last few days how easily my life could have crumbled before me. Had this boy decided to go to a different building to make his statement, or had he waited a single day, I would be a shell of myself right now.

My sister, my best friend and one of the few people in this world I love unconditionally is an engineering student at Virginia Tech.

She was in class on Monday April 16, 2007. Had Tuesday April 17 been the day, she would have been in Norris Hall.

An angel must have been looking upon her because she was far from the events that transpired that day. The thankfulness that I have been feeling is overwhelming and the only thing I want to do is give her a hug, to assure myself that this is real. To assure myself that she is safe.

I cannot describe the mix of gratitude and disgust that I have been feeling this week. I am grateful that she is physically unharmed and disgusted that thousands of people across the country have lost a part of their souls.

All due to the selfish act of one.

I could easily be spending this day in a state of disbelieving grief.

I could have easily lost part of my heart.

To those who have lost part of theirs, I am sorry.

Well, it seemed like any other day
In this quiet college town.
The students bustled
While leaves rustled
Across a school renowned.

The campus shone with flurries
And the day began with joy.
But soon it was marred
And forever scarred
By the actions of one boy.

Be strong Hokies
For your friends need you now
More then ever before.

Help each other with your grief
As it wages an eternal war.

Be strong Hokies
And band together
To fight against the pain

But always remember the love and the laughter
Of the victims who were slain.

Be strong Hokies
And help those families and friends
Who are living through their hell,

Because while you are safe,
You know, that Hokies are family as well.

Be strong Hokies
And never forget
The day the world stopped for you

Because, like so many tragedies,
The rest of your nation will always remember it too.

Be strong Hokies
Your pride is massive
And will smash through this heartbreak.

Just know that you are blessed
And keep this in mind with choices that you make.

Be strong Hokies
And we’ll be strong for you
As you grieve for that fatal day.

Because, over time, the pain may fade
But the memories must stay.

Be strong Hokies
As the time passes
You will make it through somehow.

Look to your family, look to your friends
Because we are all Hokies now.

To those who we lost, rest in peace.
To those who feel lost, be strong and always remember.

Hokie Pride.

With Their Tanks and Their Bombs

2007-03-30T10:09:00.000-04:00

As some of you may know, last month I began doing some contract work for the FBI Academy in Quantico, VA. I was sort of excited about it, but apprehensive to leave my old office. The good thing is that I have the option of going back if I want.

And I totally want!

The FBI is mad boring, peoples. I make copies all day and it sucks. Who needs four years of college to do that? Plus, the commute down here is terrible and it's even worse getting home.

I guess the people who work here are cool, but I miss my friends in DC...that and the other admin is incredibly lazy and gives me all the bitch work. I kind of want to kick her most of the time except that she's really nice. *shrugs*

The one cool thing about being down here is all the explosive devices one can find on a daily basis.

The Marine Corps base is also hear and about three times a week you can hear them testing bombs on site. It shakes the whole building. Awesome.

Also, I park right across the way from the firing ranges, so each morning, I see training agents shooting stuff. It's kind of cool, although I hope nobody ends up going postal one day and deciding it would be a great idea to terrorize the campus.

That, and my car feels threatened by the vicinity in which it is to the guns. Here's to hoping no misfires occur near my baby!

So aside from people blowing crap up all day, this job sort of sucks. I roll my eyes at least ten times each day and it's starting to give me a headache.

I just got to figure some things out before heading back to my original office. And I just got some interesting news that someone in our marketing department is leaving...re-he-heally?

Looks like it's time to start schmoozing!

I Have No Words for American Idol This Week...

2007-03-30T10:06:00.000-04:00

Okay, I lied.

I have many words. Most of them are negative and directed to the little, confused, Indian one.

What.

The.

Fuck?

I'll elaborate in a moment, but really...what the fuck?

On top of his hair absolutely terrifying me, he just plain sucks.

I figure that he had to be good at some point to make it this far, but seriously? Bathwater? Why did you have to eff that up for me manboy?! I love that song, and for the next week I'm going to have your version stuck in my head!

That and you wearing a faux hawk of tiny, tiny ponytails. So thanks...you've ruined my week. And my ears. And my appreciation of my hair straightener. And my banana.

Okay, that last one isn't your fault. My banana is just overly ripe.

But still! I want to slap you around, make you eat a sandwich and take you to a barber stat!

Anyway, I'm done with that. If this little shit doesn't get voted off soon, I'm going to shave my head in protest.

Of course, then I'll look like Phil Stacey, only without the scary eyebrows.

Speaking of Phil (sweet segue!) he was rather good last night. In fact, everyone was rather good. That is, aside from a few notable crash and burns. But, back to Phil. He seems to really be trying hard to make his melodies as good as his big notes and it shows. Team Baldie!

Lakisha, Melinda and Jordin were fantastic as usual, but Lakisha is getting a bit boring and Melinda's schtick about her being all shy and modest is going to get old soon.

Gina was impressive with her song last night and she sort of killed it and sounded awesome. If she keeps up with the big vocals, she'll be a contender for the finals.

Blake was good as always, if not a little boring. Whatever, he's cute and sort of twitches when he sings which make me feel better about twitching on my own time.

Chris Richardson was alright. He has a pretty voice and a prettier face, but I don't know if he's long for this competition. His song choices lately have been boring or a little strange. "Don't Speak" has a lot of difficult middle to high notes that sounded off on a guys voice. Plus, I think he stumbled the words.

I think I'm just mad that I didn't get to sing that shit on AI. I effing love that song.

I'm over Chris Sligh. Yeah he's funny and can sing alright, but his Christian Rock thing and his affinity for lisping while singing is pissing me off. Haley sort of sucks and should never do a slow song again. The girl has great legs though, and hell if she doesn't know it. Short skirts say wha?

Chris S and Haley will be in the bottom two, but if there is any justice in this world, Sanjaya will rid us of his reign of hair don'ts tonight.

A Tooth for a Tooth

2007-03-22T14:58:00.000-04:00

I think that my dentist is out to get me.

No.

Seriously.

A few months ago (September I believe) I went to get my teeth checked out/cleaned. All was well until I was told that I had some cavities.

Shocked and appalled, I felt that they were surely wrong! I brush twice daily, and floss when I feel a desire to. Plus, I've NEVER had a cavity in my life! And I was one of those sugar obsessed children and everything.

Alas, they were right. Not only did I have visible cavities that needed fillings, but everytime I went in for said fillings, the doc found MORE cavities!

Say wha? This wasn't happening to me! It couldn't be! Something must be going seriously wrong here!

I went to see my dentist about thirty million times before I finally had all my teeth good to go.

Fast forward a few months later and I'm having serious tooth pains. So, since I consider myself a doctor, I went on webMD and diagnosed myself with trench mouth.

The Horror!!

I didn't have trench mouth (thank god!) but I did have a pretty severe abscess complete with a dead root and an all around effed up molar. And don't get me started on the PAIN!

Anyway, I had a root canal procedure done, and $1500 (or so) later, I felt much better. Two weeks went by and I went back for the okay to have a crown put on my newly de-rooted tooth. Stupid me, indicates that another tooth was sort of hurting, and lo and behold...I need yet another root canal on a bicuspid.

Greeeaaaat...

Anyway, so far the abscess on that tooth isn't healing and I may need to have the tooth extracted.

Fantastic, my dream of looking like white trash may finally come true.

I went to my general dentist this morning expecting him to turn into Satan or something, but he just said that I will need a crown on the non-healing bicuspid and will likely not need one in the molar. The risk there is that if the filling should break below the gum line, I will lose my tooth.

Effing great. So I either pay an additional $1300 for a crown which I MAY not need, or I hope the filling stays in tact. Hoping is free though, so I guess it has that going for it.

My teeth suck total ass.

On top of being expensive, this shit hurts.

It's creating a huge obstacle in my whole plan to move out and be self-sufficient which also kind of blows.

Thank god for my parents for loving me enough and not throwing me out on the street. However, it is their gene pool that is leading to all of my teeth maladies.

Double edged swords! Why must you taunt me so!

Until next time, here's to hoping my teeth quit trying to jump out of my face.

The Comeback Kids

2007-03-04T19:39:00.000-05:00

At least that's what my mom calls us.

And by us, I mean me and all of the girls I stay in touch with from high school.

The meaning of our new-fangled nickname is simple. We have all graduated from college and are back to living at home. We all have full time jobs and are rather self-sufficient other then our inability to live on our own. So I guess that doesn't make us self-sufficient at all.

Now, for over a year, I felt as though I was all alone in the Comeback Kid world. I had a job, but wasn't making squat for a long time and could barely afford to pay on my loans let alone any form of rent. That's not to mention my car payments, phone payments and the occasional bar tab. Does at least twice a week count as occasional?

Anyway, little did I know, that some old friends from high school were in a very similar situation. I am not alone!

Sure, one of my friends made a go of it on U Street for a few months before imminently moving back again. And another friend is in med school at GW and has her own place, but I figure that doesn't count since she's still in school. It makes no difference to me that she's going to be able to save my life one day.

My question is this: Is this normal? Am I in a bubble where only a select few underacheivers are doing this as the norm? Or could it be that the majority of my graduating class is in the same boat?

Almost everyone I have worked with at my full-time jobs has their own place, but most of these people are from out of town. In a situation like that, you don't have a choice. Of course in my situation, I don't have a choice either.

I'm simply not making enough money. Granted, I will be one day, but until then, am I just burdening my loving family by being horribly average?

With my loans, my car, my phone, and newly acquired hospital and dental bills, I don't see myself moving for awhile. And don't even get me started on the three weddings I am involved in during the latter part of this year.

My delusions of grandeur about saving money keep being pushed aside as time goes on. So what gives? Is this what adult-hood is really all about? I didn't sign up for this.

Unfortunately it seems that this is the case for most people. Scraping each paycheck for bills until you are sucked bone dry and crying in a corner.

I think I need to spend the little money I do have to go hunting for a rich husband. I hear Chris Cooley makes a lot of money, you know, or Jake Gyllenhaal, or you know, Madonna.

Either that, or I need to put my random and limited talents to good use. Write a best-selling book that gets made into an Oscar winning motion picture starring the always lovely and loveable Dame Judi Dench? Maybe. Become a rock star with devoted fans and a large following of meerkat activists? Perhaps. Campaign for Angelina Jolie to adopt me? Why the heck not? Work my way up the corporate ladder and make money on my own? Sure...

Oh who am I kidding? Like that last one is actually feasible.

A Plumber I Ain't

2007-03-04T19:09:00.001-05:00

So, the sink in my house got stopped up today and apparantly, it was easier for me to get under the sink and do the dirty work then my dad.

Fortunately for him, I think I did it all right. I guess we'll find out in a week or so if the sink explodes.

Unfortunately for me, there was a ton of half ground up food that made it's way out of one of the pipes. Nasty say wha? I had the pleasant duty of cleaning it up.

What an unfortunate way to spend an hour.

My dad then tried to convince me that I should be a plumber since they make a lot of money.

No, I'm good. So is my butt crack. I figure enough people probably saw it in college.

I'd rather make the big bucks doing something more fun...like selling myself on the streets of Chinatown. That brings up the butt crack problem again, though.

I guess time will tell, no?

Festivus, For the Rest of Us

2006-12-26T16:43:00.000-05:00

Happy Non-Denominational Holidays everyone!

Being that I have a Jewish mother, and a Christian Father I find it easier to just dump all holidays under one general statement. Granted, I was raised mostly Jewish and consider myself a heeb, we also had a Christmas tree every year and always got together with my mother's predominantly Jewish family on Christmas night for dinner.

Maybe I'm just confused.

Maybe I should move to Canada and just celebrate Boxing Day to ease the conflicting holidays in my mind.

That would be silly though. Who would WANT to move to Canada?

I'm kidding...sort of. At least it's better then Jersey.

Anyway, I'm getting off track.

I just got some cool shit for Christmas/Hannukah.

Eff it. I got some cool shit for Festivus.

My sister got me a Chris Cooley jersey...effing sweet!

I got a hot new watch, some spinning shoes, some D&G Light Blue perfume, some hot boots a la Anne Taylor Loft, a fitness watch that will measure my calories burned during workouts, a handheld Sudoku machine and some other awesome and thoughtful gifts.

Aside from all the goodies, I want to take some time out to talk about family.

Oh super cheesy!!

No really. My family rocks really hard. We've always been tight as hell due to traumatic circumstances and have managed to keep ourselves open and honest with each other. Lately, things have been changing with my brother being engaged and my sister being at school and me fledgling a pseudo-career around.

Thank god for my brother who sat us all down and laid it all out. We were kind of losing each other, and that's not good folks. Not that we weren't as close as we could be, but we had developed bad and stressful habits that were making our lives more difficult then they need to be.

So, this Festivus, we all made resolutions to better ourselves for our sake and each others =)

My first task is to finish my room renovation. Yeah, the room renovation that began here. Granted, my room looks killer and everything, but there's little shit left to do that should have been done months ago. My lazy ass needs to get moving.

So people, get ready for the pictures that I promised here.

This post has essentially no relevance to anything other then the fact that I'm semi-inspired and bored at work. NOBODY is here today!

Which also means that nobody is here to tell me that I can't leave.

Go home early much?

I'm outta here!

Happy Holidays everyone!

They Travel in Packs...cold, bare-legged packs...

2006-12-15T09:12:00.000-05:00

So I was in Philly this past weekend shopping for bridesmaid dresses and drinking heavily. The usual stuff.

So I'm driving into the city, past 30th St. Station and lo and behold...what is it that I see??

Why, three girls (likely freshmen) huddled together on the corner in...wait for it...

Mini-skirts.

UGG boots.

...and down jackets.

My first instinct was to take a picture so that I could look at it and laugh whenever I felt sad or angry.

My next instinct was to yell at them to put on some pants, for the love of God!

But mostly, I just laughed and shook my head and appreciated the fact that I'm not a moron.

I figure that if it's cold enough to need a winter jacket and snow boots, perhaps we should rethink the crotch length attire on our bottom half.

This is what these bitches looked like:

Yeah, I made a cartoon version of these girls...so what?

PUT ON SOME PANTS!!

Oh, and the summer of 2004 called, I couldn't tell you why, but they want their trends back.

Michael Kors MUST be a Genius!

2006-12-13T10:53:00.000-05:00

So, I'm a really pretty girl...

I hate to sound cocky, but it's true and I can't really deny it. I'm obviously fashion oriented and for a plus-sized woman, I wear clothes rather well.

I also make it a point to try to look as put-together as possible when leaving the house. Saturdays and Sundays are the exception on those occasions where I'm pretty sure I might still be drunk, am probably delirious and feel so poorly I could care less that the over sized sweater I'm wearing doesn't quite cover the hole in the ass of my jeans.

Anyway, most days, I think I look pretty hot.

Folks, today I have brought it to a whole new level!

Tonight there is an office party that I will be in attendance at. I wanted to look nice, but not obnoxious, so I paired my swingy black Michael Kors skirt with my kimono half-sleeved read sweater from Ann Taylor Loft. Throw on some black pants and coordinating beads and I'm good to go.

Everyone and their mother keeps telling me how nice/festive/dressy I look.

That's nice and everything, but do I look like a hobo on all other days? It's raining, and my hair looks like blond ass, yet I have had more people compliment me today then ever before.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy attention as much as anyone, but it's a little perplexing.

Especially since I've worn this exact outfit before. In fact, I wore it last week, except I had black pants on instead.

So, I ask this. Mr. Kors, what is it that you do to your clothes that makes them so appealing in the eyes of others?

Oh, and where do you tan? Sorry, I had to ask.

I have concluded that I must go out and buy as many MK pieces as possible to look as good as I do now...go everyone! Shop freely!

I have also concluded that I'm going to be one hot bitch at this party...here's to hoping I keep it sober enough to refrain from dancing on tables. And that tomorrow won't be a holy-ass-big-sweater day;)