Naturally Blonde

Inspiration Orange - PR Season 6, Episode 10

2009-10-22T22:52:00.011-04:00

You guys...I have a confession to make.

My blog is called Naturally Blonde, right? And I've always been a blonde. It basically defines me...and my clumsiness.

BEFORE

So I went and I dyed my hair auburn and lobbed off about 6 inches. Granted, it looks AWESOME, but I feel like I should change the name of my blog or something. Fake RedHead? Yeah it's probably not going to happen, since I'm still a natural blond and all. That and I'm lazy.

What say you?

AFTER

Now that I've got that off my hairline, let's get to the show!

Heidi tells the designers that they will be heading to Rodeo Drive to ogle all of Michael Kors'(s?) designs. Everyone is staring at the high end shops on Rodeo Drive and are all "OMG! We don't have these where I come from!"

I can see a Gucci, Jimmy Choo, Louis and a Barney's Co-op from my window and work. I work in freakin' Maryland. Quite with the "I don't get it's" and learn the industry ladies.

Michael counts his millions.

So the designers have to choose a location to draw inspiration from out of Orangina's inspiring locations.

Carol Hannah chooses first and picks Palm Beach
Nicolas chooses Greece which would have been my first choice
Althea chooses St. Tropez which totally suits her
Gordana chooses New York
Irina chooses Aspen and is excited to make a ski lodge type design
Christopher chooses Santa Fe

Logan gets stuck with Hollywood and they play this goofy music and everyone laughs which I don't get because look at the man. He's a fucking surfer boy and they've been in LA for a couple of months. He should know his business by now. Of course we're talking about a man who owns, and wears, silver pants.

They are given $150 to shop at Mood and Irina is all "Fur's EXPENSIVE!" Maybe you should have picked Hollywood?

The designers get to work and Chris talks about his absence of formal training and Irina is giving everyone stank eye. Typical day in the workroom.

Tim comes by to give everyone the shlits and it looks like Gordana has legit only done the neck of her outfit. Come on, make some Upper East Side fabulousness and blow these American assholes out to the water.

Chris's looks like it's going to be a hot mess mixture of Epperson's Western Movie outfit and Irina and Gordana's crappy winning blue shirt from that one time.

Tim gives him the business about how a long western inspired skirt is the worst design idea ever.

Ummmmmmm. Ew.

Irina says "An Amish woman wouldn't even wear that." Irina, I've seen the Amish. They bring the sexy. Don't hate. I just realized that Irina's a Jew though, which I also am, and we are scared of most of the super religions.

I kid. But seriously, I knew there was a reason I liked this bitch.

As the day goes on, Christopher's design just seems to be getting worse.

They said INSPIRED by the location, not a sky and mountain representation of the Santa Fe skyline. He claims to have cut off 20 inches of "mountain" and I hope that makes it look less like a saloon dress.

Mmmmm, Gordana is cooking bacon again. Gordana is my hero.

Runway day arrives and I'm pretty sure Carol Hannah shrunk overnight.

Attack of the 50 Foot Model

The designers are all scrambling to put their finishing touches on their garments with their models and everything is looking pretty good so far. Except Chris's. I can't tell for sure, but it still appears to be a hot mess. Didn't Ra'mons time on this show teach us anything about new beginnings?

Runway success! La Nina and Orangina are back together where they belong and are joined by Ms. Milla Jovovich who I've always had a one-sided (I think) crush on. Milla actually has experience as a designer, so she should make for a good guest judge.

Althea is quickly ushered off the runway after the show as she lands smack in the middle.

It's cute and sun-kissed looking, just like St. Tropez should be. Innovative it isn't. Althea seemed to have a lot of fun with this challenge and it appeared that she had one set vision that she followed through with. She wasn't re-inventing the wheel by any means, but it's pretty and met the challenge guidelines well.

The ladies have remained dominant this year and Gordana, Carol Hannah, and Irina took the top three spots this week.

This dress came out really beautiful. I think it's elegant and sexy and really captures New York elegance. I could see this on Serena VanDerWhatever on Gossip Girl.

I secretly wish that Gordana had done the grungier side of New York, like Soho, but this was a good solid entry. I know the judges poo-poo'ed the piping, but I like it. I think it keeps the eye moving without being too distracting and it complements that beautiful collar.

Carol Hannah went back in time a couple of weeks and re-did the beach challenge.

Just kidding.

I'm having a hard time remembering that this was taped so long ago. I saw this and kept thinking about how tired I am of seeing Maxi Dresses on EVERYONE. Considering this was taped long before the summer of the maxi, it's very on trend and there's no denying it is beautiful.

Like Althea's, it's nothing earth shattering, but the twisting and braiding at the top is done so well that it adds a rich element to a fun dress.

Once again, Irina snatches the win into her bitchy and capable hands.

And, I LOVE it! This design is exactly what this challenge was about. She picked up that Aspen card and came up with a concept that was indicative of the location but not literal or costum-ey.

Okay, it's borderline costume, but it had such a strong point of view that you cannot deny how she easily won. In addition to her execution of her concept, the outfit is just beautiful. It looks expensive and appropriate and it fits Kalyn like a glove.

The sweater was beautiful and the cut out back gave it a touch of sex. The vest was cute and didn't overpower the sweater, while the pants stayed understate to show off the other pieces.

I HOPE to look that put together when my car is snowed in this winter and I'm slipping on black ice. Congrats Irina!

Onto our favorite subject. Boys on the bottom!

Good GOD, Koji's waist is small!

This is one of the most wearable and interesting designs that Nicolas has ever done. That top is simply gorgeous and those pants are fabulous.

Does it remind me of Greece? Not at all. I'm not sure how he could have saved this. Maybe made the shirt into a dress and in a different color? The white is too literal, but it's clearly a Nicolas staple.

So Nicolas didn't follow the challenge, but he made beautiful pieces that had originality.

Originality is the best thing about fashion, so why was he sent home, when the other two bottom boys lacked that aspect?

Logan's outfit looks like Celine should be throwing newspapers and wearing a hat.

It must be the suspenders. Yeah I just said "suspenders". This is not good.

Logan explains his design as something that Lindsay Lohan or Mary Kate Olsen would wear and that's just not even close to being correct. Lindsay may be a big ball of crazy lately, but at least she's original.

You can seriously buy Logan's outfit anywhere, but why would you? There's nothing special about it.

Heidi is all "I didn't mind it." That's not a reason to keep someone. If it's so simple to have little to no opinion, then that's a problem. "If this was called 'Project I Didn't Mind It', then he would win." Thank you Milla.

Logan's was a piece of priceless art compared to Chrisopher's piece of crap.

Matar looks like her purse should be one of those cow skulls with the horns. Like the front of the RV's from Road Rules from back in the day. That would make this outfit perfect and REALLY invoke a Santa Fe feel.

I just don't get this. Granted, I think he had one of the hardest locations, but he could have tried a little harder. This is just so literal. It's the sky and the ground, in a dress!

It could have been Indian inspired. He seemed to be on the right track with the belt, but everything else just fell apart and this is unoriginal and not what the challenge called for.

Of course, Christopher gets the "In". Don't get me wrong, I'm not a Nicolas fan by any means, but this week he did not deserve to go over Christopher. I love Christopher, but the last few weeks, him and Logan have been in the Bottom Three together THREE times! They have taken out designers who had stronger concepts and designs (except Shirin's piece of crap), and I just don't get where the judging is at.

On his way out, Nicolas says he's going to take a break from designing. I hope it's not permanent. He's far from my favorite, but I saw him grow a lot throughout his time on the show and I hope he is able to channel this growth and use it to his advantage.

Only 6 designers are left! I can't believe we have waited so long and now it's almost over. Let's see if Chris and Logan can redeem themselves next week...

Yitchy Kitschy - Project Runway Season 6, Episode 9

2009-10-17T16:07:00.014-04:00

And kitschy, it was! Thank god, I LOVE kitsch.

Heidi opens the challenge by telling the designers that they will be meeting Tim in a SUPER secret location with a SUPER secret guest.

I totally forgot from last week, that Bob Mackie was a guest judge and when I saw him I geeked out really hard. He's so amazing, I can't even begin.

I mean, I can definitely talk about the fillers he's clearly using, but I still can't begin to explain my sheer love for this man.

Tim is there to greet the designers and explain to them how their challenge is to incorporate Bob Mackie's style influence into a stagewear design.

Look at all the sequins and sparkle! He's a master, it's not even funny.

I love how Cher is mentioned in like every episode of this show. As you all know, Bob Mackie created her iconic looks for many years, both on stage and off.

I've always been a huge Cher nerd and watching the designers try to do this:

...is going to be hilarious.

Tim let's everyone know that they will be creating this look for international superstar, and runner up for the Mascara Wand of Horror Award, Christina Aguilera. Winner of the award?

I mean....duh.

So Tim sends the designers on to Mood with $300 to spend on fabric and sequins and feathers and glitz and all that crap.

Carol Hannah legitimately bought one to two yards of every sparkly fabric that Mood carries and she lays it all out on her design table. It looks like Liberace vomitted on her sewing station.

Shirin is having a ton of trouble and has no clue what to do.

You look really cute when you're floundering.

Irina is predictably bitchy and hilarious throughout the design process as Althea, Nicolas and herself have all done costume sparkles before.

Ho. Sit. Down.

Tim comes in to see what all of the designers are working on and OH. MY. GOD. You guys, Shirin's design is making me wanna cry.

It's like really bad and ugly and it looks like a dated prom dress that would have been made fun of. It's really awful. She has panels in her dress like fake hippie's used to do in the 90's with their jeans. It's REALLY REALLY bad.

Oh my god, it's so bad. I just keep talking about how bad it is because it's so ugly and awful. I can't even make any right about it because it's just so wrong.

In other news, Chris is making booty shorts and a corset and thinks it's 1998.

On the real. Your design sucks ass.

He seems to think that we are designing for the Lady Marmalade video. If only Pink and Lil' Kim were around, I could get behind this shit.

After Tim poo poo's basically everything, the designers all scramble to get their shit together. It's funny because everyone is so lost and confused about how to make amazing stage wear. Nobody seems to realize that the brighter something is, the better.

I'm seeing a very limited use of color and the designers all seem to think that just because something has sequins, it'll get a pass. Where are the bright beautiful colors. This is a challenge where you can seriously go off the grid and make something outstanding.

See all this fabulous color?!

Good, because we DON'T get to see any of it on the runway.

We do get to see Christina Aguilera come out of hiding. She's been sort of MIA since having her son.

Was she hiding in a bottle of peroxide?

I kid! I actually really love Christina. I've always thought she was insanely talented and I love her voice. Her songs are catchy and I'm excited to see her in that Burlesque movie or whatever it is.

Let's see how she fares as a judge...

We start off with a less than stellar entry from Irina.

I guess she can't win them all...

This dress was okay. It was very lingerie-like and didn't have a huge wow factor. It ended up smack in the middle and for all of her smack talking, Irina didn't deliver all that well.

As for Gordana, thank god for her she had immunity because this?

This was really ugly.

Her excuse was that the beading kept falling off whenever she cut the fabric, but the fact is she screwed this challenge up royally, and knew it. Sorry to see her just let it happen since she had immunity, but I can see how it must be hard to fight for a win when the challenge appeared so difficult for her.

Nice to see Heidi put her bitch pants on and tell her how lucky she was to have that immunity.

Let's get to the good, shall we?

Althea's was probably the worst of the best. It was striking and sparkly but had it's fair share of execution problems. The front panels are a bit puckery and it look more like a dress for Mariah Carey or Whitney Houston, not Christina Aguilera.

Wow, this challenge was right up Bitchy Boris's alley. He's nothing if not consistent in his love for feathers and sequins and this was a really stellar entry.

Once again, I wish that he had included some color. This is perfect for Christina with the short and sexy style. The top half is put together beautifully and the intricate details are gorgeous. Normally I would hate the feathered skirt, but it was absolutely perfect for this challenge.

I think he could have pulled off a win easily if this had been another color. He could have gone with a bright red and it would have come across much more striking on stage.

Carol Hannah finally got a win with her entry.

And while it's not completely undeserved, I'm not sure this is the best stage look I've ever seen. Don't get me wrong, it's beautifully made and constructed and she really spun her nerves on the challenge into a great design.

I just think it looks much more like a red carpet look rather then a look for a concert or show.

On the super positive side, that feather detailing is impeccable. The gown fits Lisa perfectly and the flow at the bottom really makes the sequins come across as expensive looking.

The styling is very Old Hollywood, which isn't helping the fact that it looks red carpet, but I'm glad Carol Hannah won. She's been pretty good throughout the competition and it's nice to her get recognized.

Her little boycrushfriend thing didn't fare so well though.

Oh Logan, on the bottom once again?

This wasn't so bad for me. I think it's an easy look which he didn't put a lot of thought or effort into. The fabric is okay, but it's just shiny when it needed to be spectacularly shiny. It was obvious that he was not comfortable with this challenge in the least.

The print on the fabric combined with the one shoulder dress and god awful fur thing really made Koji look like an ultra fabulous cave woman.

Thankfully for Logan, Christina Aguilera has never tried this look before, because repeating a look she's already done is basically unforgivable.

Right Chris?

When I first saw Chris's look I thought "Oooooh, Christina is going to love this!" That's obviously because she's worn it before, but you could really see her face light up when Katie walked down that runway.

The corset was pretty but not well fitted and I did love that he thought about it being two completely different looks for the stage. He seemed to grasp the challenge better then most, but his execution and starting point just really screwed him over.

Lucky for Chris, Shirin made one of the least attractive designs ever produced in Project Runway history.

You guys, this is really, REALLY bad. The paneling is a terrible idea and it is just so unattractive as a concept. In addition to it being ugly, it's poorly done and sloppy looking.

I honestly cannot say enough bad things about the bottom of her design. The top is okay, boring and too small, but okay.

I have zero problem with Shirin going home this week. She had been well above average the whole season and she deserved all of the praise she received. She also deserved the smack down she got over this dress. I dislike it SO much.

I'm sort of sorry to see Shirin go, but I definitely think she deserved it over this awful design.

I'm excited to see what happens next week and think that the dregs of the talent have been mostly weeded out. Nice to see the designers step out of their "Make a pretty dress" box and try something with more pizzazz.

Until Thursday...sing some Cher songs and smile =)

Why So Blue? - Project Runway Season 6

2009-09-25T15:50:00.023-04:00

So I didn't get to recap last week since it was my birthday and I went to Atlantic City to celebrate. I had a flippin' blast! So here's a mini-recap...

Last week on Project Runway: Ummmm, guys, seriously, Halloween is still a month away. Oh, and Carol Hannah and Logan are gonna get married, like, tomorrow.

Welcome home, Logan!! He gets to move in with Ep, C and BB since Ra'mon got the boot. The boys are being narrowed down like crazy.

Heidi explains that they will be working with COLOR!! Shirin is wondering if they will be working with parachutes and I have an immediate flashback to being a kid and flipping a parachute around with 20 other kids and a ball in the middle during PE. Anyone else?

Lighten up, it's just fashion.

Turns out that they will be working with the color blue, for INC at Macy's. Everyone seems to want to make a sweater dress, which zzzzzzzz....

This has GOT to be the most boring and basic challenge we've had in all six seasons of Project Runway. And, SPOILER ALERT, we end up with boring and basic designs.

They are broken up into teams of two and have to make two looks per team. I guess the looks are supposed to go together, hence the teams, but I don't recall hearing that as a dictate of the challenge. Of course, I've been siphoning Shiraz into my system, so it's possible I missed that part.

Teams are as follow:

Althea and Logan

Christopher and Epperson

Louise and Bitchy Boris

Irina and Gordana and on team tiny, we have...

Carol Hannah and Shirin

Seriously, CH and Shirin can hardly hold up the fabric bolts at Mood.

Epperson and Chris are talking about how awesome they are and is it weird that I sort of want to make out with Chris? Is he gay? Does it matter?

Awww, you guys, Logan is a total hottie with a great personality and he's down to earth and helpful and WOW DOES HE NEED A SHOWER!! Wash that hair, honey.

No wonder he's always wearing that stupid hat.

So Tim comes in to do his asshole ripping and he happens upon Team Tiny.

Shirin is all like: "That one has leggings!!"

And legit, Tim is all: "I knooooow." Girl, I feel ya. Leggings are completely overrated and done.

Leggings!

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

This boring ass challenge has made everyone so snarky. Carol Hannah makes a funny and says that right about now, Ra'mon would be starting over...how bout a unitard? Just make sure it's blue.

Now that everyone has bitched and moaned about how difficult blue is to work with, we'll get to the runway show. Next week maybe we'll have a REALLY hard challenge and make everyone design something black! I can see the tears now.

OMG Michael is back!! Thank GOD! This season was seriously starting to suck without him.

With two teams in the top and two in the bottom we are left with one who wasn't good but didn't suck. Congrats Althea and Logan! You're mediocre!

Wow, that's a short skirt, Althea. And I know it was you because you've made this outfit once before.

Another booty baring blue suit! How innovative. I'm really done with this piece since there is just nothing good happening here.

The second piece Logan and Althea create is a bit better.

But I HATE the rise on these pants. Lisa looks like she's packing heat. The top is really pretty but those pants are terribly fitted.

Carol Hannah and Shirin make it to the top two for being more unoffensive then three other teams.

Leggings!!

So the top is cute but it's nothing I haven't seen before. The color is pretty but that's about all there is to say. It's just pretty. That seems to be good enough this season. I do like the Obi belt but again, nothing earth shattering.

This is a step in the right direction, but she sort of looks like a flight attendant. The skirt is nice, the top is nice, and I think I just fell asleep.

Let's move on to our winners!

This won? It's not a bad concept but the skirt and top look wrinkly to me and the proportions are strange. It's also way too tight and BORING!!!

Jeez, this episode is like watching grass grow.

Here's the reason that Gordana and Irina won. This was by far the nicest thing to walk down the runway. It's beachy and cool, and very sellable. It's very Macy's and the use of the different shades of blue is nice.

Then something happens to liven everything up when Irina inexplicably goes off on Gordana for not being a more active member up the team. Wow, Irina really is a bitch! I still have a crush on her though.

Good on Gordana for at least defending herself. She basically tells Irina to quit being a snatch and use her own voice as the leader.

Ho. Sit. Down

And as we all predicted, Chris and Epperson as well as Louise and Nicolas are in the bottom.

Let's get into it Cry Babies.

So I really didn't hate this. Is it amazing? Not at all. The fabric cheapens it a little bit, but it's a perfectly servicable shirt dress.

It's better then that time I saw some chick walking down the street in an actual button down shirt, belted with tights/leggings. I told her to put on some pants. You're not Lady Gaga.

Still not sure why this landed them in the bottom, except that it's not as good as tunic with leggings? Oh wait, they did that too.

Celine looks like she's being choked by death ruffles. What a terrible way to die.

I actually don't hate this. I don't love it, but it's not terrible. It looks like every 20 something's bar outfit these days, so to say it's been done and done is an understatement.

Ruh roh Chris is crying like a little girl and I'm not sure I want to make out with him anymore. Who am I kidding? I'd still hit it.

Poor Louise never had a chance, with this bottom four. There's no way they were going to get rid of Chris, Nicolas had immunity and Epperson was Chris's puppet this week.

This I actually liked at first. It's a pretty dress and the front is interesting. These are ruffles I can deal with. In fact, I audibly praised it when I first saw it on screen.

The problems come when the dresses colors are inverted, made out of cheap fabric and taken to the Nth degree.

Oh kids, this is not good. It looks cheap. It looks proportionally screwy. It looks ugly. And whoever told Louise that those shoes looked cute needs a swift kick to the mouth.

*cough*boris*cough*

The ruffles look like those weird plastic flowers party stores use to make party lei's. The colors also aren't cute together and the ruffle placement is really strange.

All in all, this deserved the boot. My big issue is that nothing was THAT bad, but nothing on the runway was good either. It was all boring, basic and worst of all, everything looked easy. Where are my innovative designs that challenge the rules of fashion?

This season is making me miss past designers. Jay, Christian, Santino, even Kenley! She was a heinous cat throwing bitch, but at least she tested the limits.

These designers need to step up because I'm not impressed. Hopefully next week will yield some amazing challenge that will test our designers.

Til then, auf wiedersehn!

Start Spreading the News - Project Runway Season 6

2009-09-17T22:30:00.012-04:00

We open the show on Carol Hannah doing her make-up and WOW that's a lot of mascara!! Put the wand down, girl!

"This is my day look."

Irina is throwing shade about Althea winning, which, yeah she's right. Althea's design last week did not deserve to win. Nicolas is saying that no one deserves to win since he should win and then he giggles after it and I wanna slap him.

So the challenge this week is sort of really cool. The designers are brought to a newpaper factory and are told that they will be working with newspaper for their next challenge.

I used to work for the Washington Post so this is sort of fun and interesting as an unconventional materials challenge. This challenge is taking place at the LA Times and we're introduced to some lady in an awful floral dress.

"This concerns me."

She spouts out some facts about the LA Times and indicates the stacks of newspapers and magazines all over the factory. They announce that the designers are given three minutes to get as much material as they can. Nicolas is speechless, thank god!

This is completely candid.

Tim gives us a brief history lesson on paper clothing which started back in the late '6o's. The designs on screen are so cool and fun.

Everyone is given paint, dye and brushes to create the look of fabric and it seems that Ra'mon, Irina and Gordana are off to a good start.

Hehe! Everyone is annoyed by Shirin and her incessant gabbing but the way it's edited is super funny. I like that the designers are at the stage where they are constantly talking shit about each other. Makes for more exciting episodes.

Holy hell, Johnny's design looks like Hellraiser vomitted all over his dress. And it's bloody vomit. And he's making up stories to try to cover his ass and everyone is making fun of him behind his back. Project Runway High, at your service.

Dang, Althea is only 23...girl is looking old. Does she smoke or something? I mean that in the nicest way possible, of course.

Ewww, Tommy Hilfiger is in for Michael Kors...where is he?! That other bitch from Marie Claire and Gabrielle Solis are also there.

What's black and white and read all over? This runway show! Let's get started:

Wow, if Logan had done that last week he wouldn't have almost gone home.

I thought this dress ended up super pretty. It's a littly cutesy with the ruffles but it's a nice effect overall. I'm completely in love with what he did for the "print". It could have looked cheesy like an animal print, but the pretty blue really sets off the black and white.

It looks a little bit like the Great Wall of China threw up all over it, but I love Asian inspired clothing so I enjoyed this look a lot. It's very dramatic but pretty. The only problem is that the paper is sewn to the muslin underneath so it was sort of "easy". I liked it overall though and am glad that Epperson has stepped up his game.

Go Ra'mon! That paper thing is GORGEOUS! The two different prints he created really set each other off well and it looks pretty and expensive. The detailing on the bottom of the top is beautifully intricate and I thought this was a pretty strong look.

If Anna from the Fashion Show and Leanne Marshall had a design love child it would be Shirin's design. Those "cup" like "noodles" in the front look like they've been done before when you look back at Anna from the Fashion Show. It comes across very costumey, but I do love the structure of her design.

And speaking of costumes...Fatma looks like Minnie Mouse.

Don't get me all wrong. The top and skirt were really pretty and nicely constructed. The problem lies in the bib of cut up toilet paper rolls she threw on there. In addition to it being really ugly, it takes away from the rest of the look. I don't like it and I'm surprised she didn't get more flack for it.

I like it from the top to about the hip bone. Below that it's just a hot mess, and a long hot mess at that.

It's wrinkled and weird and ugly. It looks like she made giants newspaper bows, died them an ugly red and taped them to the muslin base.

I'm also surprised that Carol Hannah made it through judging unscathed. This was a wreck of a design.

Chris's is predictably gorgeous. He's gotten to be quite a contender for this thing. The dress is certainly nothing groundbreaking on a design front, but it's made of newspaper and created a really cool effect with the "feathers".

I'm not surprised he was in the top three at judging, but I don't think his was necessarily better then Logan's or Ra'mon's.

Wow, Althea's dress almost looks metallic. It's beautiful. She used a picture of a building and fanned it out. It's really stunning up close.

I don't love the bustline, and think that if it was trimmed lower by about a half an inch, it would be more flattering. I also hate the shoes with this dress. Overall, though, the construction was impeccable.

And now for the grandprize winner!

Irina's trench is really nicely done. I'm not crazy about the wideness of the sleeve puffs, but it does complement the neckline which really makes the coat. This design was truly a cut above everyone else. She took her idea outside the box of what was easiest to do and went beyond that to make something beautiful and fashionable.

Good job girl cush!! Now, onto the bottom three:

Gordana knocked it out of the park! It's intricate and beautiful. I'm not cuckoo about the neckline but it looks like fabric for real. I'm shocked she was in the bottom. It wasn't the best and the design elements weren't perfect but she certainly handled the unconventional materials better then most everyone.

The bottom three judging got catty as hell. The bottom two were both a hot mess and Nicolas ends up TOTALLY throwing Johnny under the bus when he tries to claim that the iron ate his newspaper. So funny, Nicolas totally calls him out! And speaking of Bitchy Boris...

...his design looks like a flag with spikes. It's all stripey and weird and looks exactly like his dress from last week but uglier. It's a shapeless shift with an extra skirt. I do like the fact that he MADE a pattern and certainly don't think it was the worst, or even the second worst but I just don't like Nicolas or his giggly ass attitude.

I do like him better then Johnny however.

It's a hot mess. I would have rather seen his Carrie meets Hell Raiser design. I'm sorry, I mean his "Dior". What a crock of shit! If Dior had vomitted blood all over a bird laden mess of a dress, then maybe. He deserved to go home for giving up and then making a crap design.

This was ugly and just bad all over. Johnny had a nasty attitude and I'm glad he's gone. "Giving up addiction was easier to do then this."

Oh really?! I'm sure kicking a meth addiction and making a newspaper streetwalker outfit are really quite similar. 12 in one hand, half a dozen in the other, that kinda thing.

Again, I'm glad he's gone. I've never liked his designs on the show and wish him the best with his addiction problems but it's clear he wasn't right for this competition in any way.

Alright kids, Glee is on and this is WAY late! Thanks for reading!

Cocktail "Party Foul" - Project Runway Season 6 Episode 4

2009-09-10T22:10:00.014-04:00

It's a new day on Project Runway and Qristyl is saying that she's going to be known as the "B-I-T-C-H". Okay dude, if you're going to be a bitch you need to be able to curse right!

Gordana has the right idea, when she's all "Just own it....bitch."

Heidi explains that they will be designing for the 13 women in the workroom. Nick thinks that they may be homeless...or eskimos. You're weird, Nicolas.

The designers will instead be designing something for their models. Yeah, cuz that worked SO well in season one.

Tim just said caucus and it made me laugh cuz I'm a 5 year old.

Johnny thinks his model will love his look since he can think like a black woman. We sure he's sober? Kidding!!

Shirin's model wants a Royal Blue and Gold satin jumpsuit with gold rope. Ummmmmmm, are you my college mascot?

My college mascot going to an 80's MC Hammer look-a-like party, that is.

I met our mascot once during orientation. He put his leg up and tried to hump me. It was bizarre, but I think I might end up with an emotional connection to this design though.

Ugh. Wonderful.

Oh my, Chris's color scheme is pretty disgusting. He's calling it apple green. That's more I'm On Acid Green.

Hot Stuff Logan is making a "Smurf prom dress" and Tim is all "Don't use that word again!" Which one? Smurf? or Prom?? They're both pretty bad to be honest.

Epperson calls his family and starts crying. On the real, I do NOT need to see people being sad about their families. If someone is crying then they need to be crying about a bitch cutting them with a shiv or because Zulema is there.

I've noticed that when Former Crackie Johnny does a fitting he always makes his model go out to the hall and walk in the garment which is brilliant times a billion. Everyone seems so busy fitting, but he takes thirty seconds to make sure that it moves well and nothing is popping out that should be popping in. Work it out Former Crackie.

Am I alone in thinking that Chris's, model Katie is the twin of Rachel from the new season ANTM? Taller, or course, but still twins.

You can only tell us apart cuz she went and got knocked up.

It looks like Carol Hannah pulled her inspiration from her own outfit.

And Logan is still making SmurfPromWear.

It's pretty awful but Koji seems to actually like it.

"If I pull it up like this it's not TOO Prom-ey."

"Girl....no"

As we move down to the runway, we find that Heidi is the only judge there whom we recognize on a weekly basis. Where is Senorita Kors and Nina?! Marc Bouwer is sitting in for Kors which I'm okay with aside from the fact that Good lord, Marc Bouwer looks like a fucking Barbie Doll.

Anycrap, let's start the show!! And let's start with my loves.

My girlcrush on Irina has developed into full on affection. I think that she has been very underrated. I LOVE this dress. The print isn't my favorite but she made it work so well. The jacket is a little odd but I am just so obsessed with that dress. I think it's stunning. I can't wait to see what she does next.

Awww Shirin I'm in love. This isn't super innovative but it is totally adorable. The color is bright and stunning and I even like the applique on the shoulder. The fit is a wee bit strange on the skirt for me. If it had been just a touch fuller I think it would have been more striking.

Oh this dress was simply stunning except for one glaring problem.

That color is NOT working for the dress, the model or me. It doesn't look washed out which is fortunate but it comes really close. I think if it had been in a deep red or chocolate brown or navy or really anything, it would have come across much better for me. The beading in the front is stunning but I just wish she had used color more.

Now for the like-ish:

I don't hate this but she kind of looks like a trekkie to me. If Chris Pine were around, I wouldn't mind, but he's clearly not. I think the high neck is throwing me off here. I think that Nicolas should have put the ka-bosh on the high neck and made it V-neck along with the line of the silver.

Other then that it's sort of boring. Not bad, just boring. Although I must say that the low back was stunning.

This was super cute. I'm not in love with the fluffy neck which is the one thing that's really throwing me off. I do love that Fatma belted it for the cocktail party. She looked majorly hot in it then and you can really see the detail Louise put in.

Oh Ra'mon this is ALOT of look. That flower is just wrong on many levels. It's not good in it's concept and it is MUCH too big.

On the other hand, the color is gorgeous and the fit of the skirt is impeccable.

So Chris's dress was the only one of the middlers that I really wasn't a fan of.

I think the color is terrible, although it looks better in pictures. The fit is very strange for me and the proportions are REALLY strange for me. The top and bottom looks like tissue paper to me and I just don't really like this at all.

I don't think that it's badly made I just don't think it's my aesthetic at all and that's why I don't like it. I still like Chris's previous work and am glad he's still in the competition.

Epperson is stepping up his GAME!! I thought that this dress was amazingly beautiful and the detailing was amazing for me. I thought the colors worked well even though brown comes across as boring so much of the time.

He really worked with the direction that Matar gave him and didn't fold under the constrictions. He heard her requests and molded his design style to her. I thought this dress was greatly passed over for the win.

So the more that I look at this dress the more I like it. Carol Hannah really went on an innovative limb by doing a sort of decontructed two piece look. I wish the bodice had been about an inch longer but other then that I thought the color really worked with the black and the skirt detailing was beautiful.

The only thing I hate is the bangs in Lisa's eyes. Fall off the runway, much?

Is she wearing shorts? A diaper? What the what is that???

Hold up...this shit won? Okay, shit is a strong word. On the real, I was not a fan of this look at all. I thought the proportions were completely wonky. Sure, she made three pieces and they appear to be made well but I am just not feeling any part of this look.

The blazer looks a bit 80's. The skirt it much too short and the hemline is WAY too high. It is making Tanisha look as though she has a short torso, which she doesn't. And ps - put a bra on your model.

Let's get to the losers.

Hmmmmmm, this was not made well at all. The bodice is very strange to me. It looks like it should have been a tad bit lower cut and the belt should have come higher. If the belt had been directly under the bust it would have been more wearable.

Other then all that, the dress looks incredibly wrinkled and that comes across sloppy. That purse is gorgeous though. Good eye, crazy loud judge lady.

*cough*smurfprom*cough*

Koji wanted a 50's inspired goth something or other. This wasn't it. This looks dated, poorly made and all around ugly. The belted detail was pretty but the lace overlay really screwed all that up.

The skirt is too full, the bodice is too romantic and the whole thing just doesn't work.

Lucky for Logan, goofy full skirts win out over boring.

And ladies...this was BORING!!! This is exactly what the average person thinks of when they think "cocktail". It's just SO average and I expected Qristyl to have a lot more spunk then this.

Her whole "Plus Sexy" aesthetic really got me excited but I thought Qristyl really failed on a lot of challenges and is probably one of those designers who works better under their own direction then in the constraints of a super creatively stressful environment.

I liked Qristyl a lot but it was clear from the first challenge that she didn't appear to do well under the constraints of the competition.

Good for Valerie for booking Christian Audigier at the cocktail party. I just hope she doesn't have to work with Jon Gosselin.

"That guy's a douche knuckle!"

I know, right! Thanks Fatma =)

Have a great week everyone!!

Son of a Beach - PR Season 6, Episode 3

2009-09-04T21:51:00.015-04:00

Good morning designers! We wake up in the boys room with Mitchell and Ra'mon waxing philosophical about being in the bottom. Mitchell says he doesn't wish Bottom Three on anyone.

Bad hair? Yes

Bottom Three? Hell No!

Mitchell has a giving soul.

Anyway, the designers take a day at the beach to learn about their new challenge. They will be making a surfwear look complete with surfer hair. This should be a giant disaster.

SPF FIERCE

It's a team of 2 challenge and Mitchell gets chosen as a team leader and picks Ra'mon, who he says can "carry him". Really, asshole? Step up yo game!!

Also of note, Irina is chosen last and I was totally obsessed with her dress from last week so I don't even get it. Former Crackie Johnny ends up with her and I think he just built a tent in his shorts. This is why I hate camping.

At Mood Epperson and Qristyl are clashing a bit and naturally, Ra'mon and Mitchell aren't seeing eye to eye. Imagine that!

Team Euro (Nicolas and Gordana) are working together and Nick gets all excited about hand dyeing the bathing suit and interviews that he's doing an "Ombre of macrame". That basically means that they will be dyeing the fabric to fade to another color and use a twisting technique to design it. Like so...

Seems beachy and cool but listening to him shit himself over saying "Ombre of macrame" is hilarious.

"Ombre of MACRAME!!!"

"Bitch, I get it."

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hold.

The.

Phone.

Johnny just called Mitchell "Little Lamb".

Ummmmmm...Andre is not amused. That's a Season 2 patent Former Crackie Johnny, so step off and get your own catchphrase! Now, where the HELL if my chiffon?

Tim comes into the workroom and tells the designers that they will be making a second, avante garde, look. There are two of you...one each. So calm down. It's not like Tim was all "Your first born is being kidnapped into Heidi's family and once she gets bored with them, she'll pass them on to Brangelina or Madonna. Guess which one the bottom three go to." The designers lighten up (it's just fashion) when they find out they get an extra $200 at Mood.

Ra'mon and ADD Mitchell are making an avante garde wetsuit. Vomit. Thankfully Ra'mon realizes what a shitty idea this is and changes everything on his own. Mitchell officially sucks. He is seriously just sitting around and letting Ra'mon do all the work.

"If I pretend to be doing something then Ra'mon won't cut me."

What he said at the beach is ringing true. He's letting his partner carry him through the challenge and as a leader, Mitchell sucks at life.

"How about you just do what you want and I'll take credit for it."

"Bitch, please"

The runway show begins with Rachel Bilson as the guest judge and Max Azria sitting in for Senorita Kors. Fab. U. Lous. He barely speaks a lick of english, but I love him. And Rachel Bilson has wonderful taste in fashion.

I didn't realize that surfer chicks did street walking in their spare time, Chris and Logan.

Actually, this wasn't that bad. It didn't seem as easy and breezy as I imagine a surfer chick should look, but it definitely had a California vibe to it.

This, on the other hand makes my brain hurt. I can't tell if I love it or hate it. I really like the full, deconstructed skirt but the top just doesn't match. I do appreciate that they seemed to try to tie in the beach/scuba/whatever vibe to it, but it's just not working.

Well, hello Louise and Althea's adorable design...how are yuns?

See, this is VERY beachy cool to me. It looks comfortable and easy but still very chic and fashionable. The colors are beautiful and the bathing suit has a sporty vibe, while the dress is more girly.

Hrmmmmm...I'm also kind of torn on this avant garde design. It looks really dated to me, like Demi Moore's dress from the '89 Oscars. Okay, maybe not THAT bad, but throw some biker shorts on her and she's a dead ringer.

It's cool and a bit Avant Garde but still quite dated. At least it looks beautifully made.

This was the beach look from Shirin and Carol Hannah and it's SO cute! Is it practical for a surfer girl? Maybe not, but the look resonates really well with me. I like that the skirt is detachable and the bikini is adorable.
This look was amazingly striking, but once again I don't see the tie in to the beach look. That and it's not very avant garde. This sort of look has been done. It's pretty but overly designed and the color saves it, if anything.

The judging was MAJORLY cracked out this week.

Let's start with the not so bad:

Ombre of macrame!!! This bathing suit was really pretty and the pants were nice in theory. Theory does not translate though and the front and bottom looks sort of jacked up.

On that note...

So I actually really liked this at first. Is it inappropriate? Yes. Is it slutty? Absolutely. Is it new and sort of striking? That it is.

It's much too short and very garter centric, but I kind of like the lace garters. I am digging how the shirt flows into the tights and then goes over the shoes. It's like an inverted bodysuit or something. It's not pretty to look at it, but I'm not sure it deserved all the crap it got.

The top is adorable but that skirt is awful. The fit is so weird and poofy in the back. The print is nice though.

Qristyl and Epperson were just mudslinging at each other by the end, and I must say that Epperson won. Time to get your Bitch on Qristyl.

Ugh. This is not okay. The "bathing suit" is hideous and poorly fitted and not avant garde in any way. That green thing on the bust is awful and it doesn't tie in to the print on the first piece. At least it's related to beach wear? This challenge officially sucks.

Ummmm...this got one of the highest scores?? Irina is my homegirl and all, but the bottom half of this design is really bad. It doesn't match the funkiness of the top and it's too full for the length.

I LOVED the macrame back and the way it showed through the thin sweater, but that skirt is full of HATE.

This was a top two avante garde look? Really judges?? Had this been made better I might have given it a pass, but it looks sloppy, it looks overly designed and the fit is terrible.

It was far from the worst design, but I would not have pegged it as top two. Johnny's soberness must be making everyone else slap happy or something.

The winning designs were no better though.

This is cute aesthetically speaking, but it's not practical beachwear, you can't even SEE the swimsuit and there is some major wonktit going on here.

It's pretty to look at but it looks like they just threw pieces of fabric over the bathing suit and belted it.

That's quite possibly the case, since Ra'mon was trapped with Mitchell as a leader and he basically sat there preening the whole time.

I don't hate this as much as the majority of viewers did. It's not good by any means but it's not god awful. It's a far cry better then that wetsuit they were considering and by "they" I mean Ra'mon. He saved them with this neoprene dress.

Thank god for neoprene! Or something. I actually had to look it up. It's wetsuit material which was an interesting concept considering that the Avant Garde look was supposed to reflect the surfer look. The dyeing made it more interesting to look at and the gathering at the top was pretty to look at.

That's where the compliments end. Should Ra'mon have had a lick of help during this challenge then maybe it could have worked.

The best part was when Mitchell was all "Yeah, I just sat around while Ra'mon did all the work. I was sewing in my head though."

"You've GOT to be kidding me."

Thankfully for me, the judges saw this as completely unforgivable and made PROJECT RUNWAY HISTORY by awarding Ra'mon the win for not killing Mitchell and then kicking Mitchell off for sucking at everything.

He wasn't a bad person, just a terrible competitive designer. It's so funny how the models all awww'ed their way through Mithchell's aufing when a week before they treated him like the Black Plague...or a brownie.

And I love that they brought Valerie back after Erica was all "Hi mom? I booked the Arby's commercial!" You go after it, Roast Beef Girl.

The designs on this episode were pretty sub par. This design challenge wasn't really all that difficult but it seems everyone was thrown out of their comfort zone. Hopefully next week everyone can get their heads on straight and start making amazing clothing.

No more partners though...that shit was painful.

Until then, I need more wine. Have a great week, darlings!!

My Lovely Baby Bumps - PR Season 6, Episode 2

2009-08-28T11:43:00.018-04:00

Sooo...I didn't get a chance to recap last weeks show and I'm sort of happy I didn't. To be honest, I wasn't a huge fan of anything that walked down that runway for the red carpet challenge. All the looks were average at best, with very few standing out. Christopher's winning design was great, but it didn't look all that wearable to me. I wasn't a fan of Johnny's red dress and thought Ramon's dress was pretty, but boring and had major boobie issues.

I also thought Mitchell should have gone home over Ari. At least she finished her design. He send an ugly nightgown down the runway. But once again, I'm not a judge.

I was amused that Lindsay Lohan was a judge during the one week Ari was there. Am I nuts, or doesn't Ari look a bit like Samantha Ronson?

I'm sort of surprised Lohan didn't jump her in the back and show her if the firecrotch matches the drapes. Kidding! Even more surprising was how concise Lindsay was as a judge. Good for her, lucidity looks good on her.

Moving on...

At the start of episode 2, the designers meet Heidi on the runway and Heidi explains that they will be designing for a real celebrity client. It just so happen that this celebrity client is majorly pregnant with twins and is Rebecca Romijn. I LOVE Rebecca Romijn. I've always found her funny and beautiful and she's one of the more talented models in terms of expanding her career to other talents. I love her on Ugly Betty.

Anyway, the designers are all shocked and apalled to learn that they have to design a maternity look. The horror!!

Nicolas legit has a tourettes attack at the camera and "shits" and "fucks" his way through 30 seconds of interview time. Get a grip, dude! It's not like she has 7 arms you have to design for. Pregnant women happen all the time, you've seen it before, I presume.

She's a MONSTER!!!

The designers hit up Mood in a cold sweat and major panic attacks. It's hilarious.

As the designers make it work, it's clear that a few designers have a better sense of how to dress a pregnant woman and it's interesting to see their thought and design process. I'm seeing a lot of dresses and tight pants with tunics. Granted, this is the go to for maternity wear, but let's see some innovation, ladies!!

Malvin is talking about some "Which came first?" concept for his design, and I'm confused along with everyone else.

Definitely the chicken. Now, carry on.

So Logan is the hot, young designer this season and all the girls are peeing themselves over working with him. As we find out on Models of the Runway, Fatma is completely gaga for him and is ready to shiv any bitch who comes close to her man.

Of course, as a man's man or guy's guy or whatever, these girls should realize that they will never be dudely enough to be Logans inner circle. Except Valerie of course, which is why she's been eliminated. Kidding?

Careful Logan, she might try to sit on your face.

Tim has everyone bring their suddenly pregnant models to the runway

"Designers, please roll your models down to the runway."

Our guest judge this week is the always beautiful Rebecca Romijn and stepping in for Michael Kors is none other then Monique Lhullier.

I LOVE Monique Lhullier. I have fantasties about her wedding gowns.

Bow. Down. Bitches.

I must say that I found the awful fake bellies really distracting for some of the garments. Bravo would have sprung for higher quality. Ya hear that, Lifetime!

Let's start the show!!

Our entire judging panel is of women who are or have been pregnant. Sort of smart that way since they clearly know what they are talking about more then the average gay man.

Or the average straight man it seems. Now, I don't think Epperson has every been a pregnant woman, but come on! A one piece jumpsuit with no visible way to remove yourself from it to pee...FAIL. Plus that vest is ugly.

The jumpsuit was nice as far as jumpsuits go, but I hate jumpsuits, so...moving on.

Based on the two designs we've seen from Feather Prince, he certainly has a short, tight and shiny aesthetic. The problem this week is that he is supposed to be designing for the average pregnant woman, not Heidi Klum.

She doesn't even look "pregnant" here and how are you supposed to get that skirt up over the belly to use the ladies room? It's not a bad dress, but it's a bad maternity dress.

"I have to pee!"
"At least you can pull your dress up, these assholes seem to think that you'd be fine with an 8 pound baby sitting on your bladder."
"Hah! I just peed a little."

So I'm ACTUALLY pregnant and psssst...Logan is the father...

This was sort of cute in it's concept but I thought the tunic was much too tight around the belly. It seems like Logan, Epperson and Nick really missed the mark on considering a woman's body when she's pregnant.

Johnny did a bit better and I really like the idea behind this dress. It was sort of ruined by the ugly bow thing at the shoulder and I hate the neckline. The rest of the dress is nice and I like the hemline. Thankfully some angel from above convinced him to remove that hideous jacket from the outfit and throw it in the bag like a scarf. Best move since getting sober, buddy!

So I really like Qristyl but her dress last week was a stank mess and her dress this week is a little boring for me. Granted it's a lot better then last week and I like that she thought more about the female body. It probably helps that she's female.

I LOVE the neckline and just wished she'd used a different color. Especially since her model's hair is so light, the color washes her out. A deeper pumpkin color or even a dark green would be stunning on her model.

That jacket/vest/shrugamabob = HATE!!! It's awful and doesn't match that adorable dress at all. Maybe adorable is strong, but it's definitely cute. I sort of like the idea of a sling along the dress and the color is beautiful.

This was one of the better legging/tunic combos. I don't like that the straps didn't seem to match, but the color makes sense and the cardigan is so well fitted. I am obsessed with the layered hem and those shoes are TO DIE.

Hate the bubble hem, love everything else. The color is stunning and I really like the belted seam above the bump. The one shoulder is nice, but not super practical for preggo boobies.

J'adorable! I LOVED this look so much. Is it a little short? Yes, but other then that I am all about this dress. My sister in law has been pregnant for the better part of 18 months now (9 month old and about 4 months along with number 2) and she's incredibly stylish. I went into this challenge thinking about what Erica would wear and Erica would wear the shit out of this dress.

It's perfect for a wedding or fancy dinner. I even like the little lacy thing under the bust, although I wish it were a little smaller.

The color is gorgeous and the tone on tone with the trimming is really beautiful.

The low back is stunning and the off centered tie is a nice touch. Each detail Irina used could have gone really over the top, but she edited herself just enough to make a really incredible looking maternity dress.

Oh Ra'mon, this is not good. To be honest, I really like the dress as a normal cocktail dress. I liked the "racing stripes" and the colors.

But darling, this is NOT a maternity dress. It's a dress with room for a belly and it isn't made well.

See how pretty the back is? This wasn't the challenge though.

Moving on to my least favorite of the Top Three:

I would have easily traded Irina's entry for this. It's a pretty dress and had it been executed perfectly, I would have been a big fan. Unfortunately it was not sewn well and the boob area was WAY too small and not well fitted.

It's a pretty design and the trimming around the neck was nice, but I don't think it deserved a top three spot due to the execution problems.

Oh Mitchell, why? This is hideous to me. As soon as I saw the giganto shorts I knew it was going to be a disaster. The bottom is just terrible and the top is messy looking. This is just an all around disaster. The hair styling is messy and the cardigan is hanging off the model in an awkward way. She looks like a harried mom, not a chic pregnant hottie.

Step it up Mitchell, the judges seem to like you but I'm over it.

But on the real, Malvin deserved to go. The chicken/egg thing was a weird concept and this looks less like an egg bundle whatever-it-was-supposed-to-be and more like a straight jacket.

Nobody likes a crazy pregnant woman.

Let's get to the best of the best:

Rock it out, Louise! I liked Louise as soon as I saw her, I just dig her style. This dress is super cute. It's a little too lingerie inspired but really pretty, still. Again, I love the layered hem and I actually dig the flowers on the shoulder. It draws attention up and away from the bump.

So good job, Louise! I can't wait to see what she designs in the upcoming episodes.

Oh, Shirin, this was GORGEOUS!!! It's stunning to look at and fits the model beautifully. That jacket is made impeccably and the lining is beautiful.

The dress itself is flawless and the detailing above the bump is perfection. I like the cowl neck and the color is beautiful with the dark grey jacket.

The girls really stepped it up this week and made a statement. I'm not going to say it's because it was a maternity challenge which only women are able to experience, since the majority of them haven't been pregnant.

I'm really glad that the designers are looking better then last week, I was scared for a moment about this season sucking. Now I'm really excited =)

I can't wait to see what the designers do next. I'll miss the crazy that was Ari and Malvin, but good design trumps all, y/y?

Until next week!

I'm Baaaaack - Project Runway All Star Challenge

2009-08-20T21:55:00.023-04:00

Oh mi gaaahhhhh...

It has been TOO long for me and FAR too long for this show.

Ees beeen sooo loooong.

It's the All Star Challenge, loves and they have got a group of incredible crazies for the next two hours. Two hours?? I have to drive to Connecticut in the morning. Mama needs a nap.

First (second?) impressions of everyone:

Jeffrey - Well hello there hipster friend! Nice crappy band you've got there.
Daniel - So nice to see him working so much. Ummmm, nice sleeve tats?
Korto - Fabulous as always and I'm really excited to see her work more.
Chris - SissyBear!! Wrapping Beyonce in aluminum foil seems like a step in the right direction.
Uli - OMG yay! I love this bitch, still.
Mycheal (Micheal?) - His head looks bizarre to me for some reason. Like his jaw is larger...can that happen?
Sweet P - I'm interested to see how she's developed since she left the show.
Santino - What happened to Andrae? Get prepped for some cartoon behavior.

Jeffrey is being snarky to Mycheal but it's not unfounded. Mycheal's finale collection was hootchie and it sucked.

So everyone heads to the roof for the champagne toast we've come to know and love. Heidi is pregnant for the 84th time and Tim is fabulous as usual. The designers will be doing one giant challenge with three pieces each, one of which should be red carpet ready.

I hope the client is Nancy O'Dell again because we all know how well that went the first time around.

The designers hit up Mood with $1200...big bucks this time around! Ummmmmm...did Santino steal someone's Boston Terrier? Is he going to make it a pailette laden sweater?

Work room time and "Good heavens!" the door is heavy! Tim is the greatest person ever born.

The designers will be designing for *drumroll please* Nicole Kidman... Okay that's pretty big time. I'm not her biggest fan but she's definitely A-List material and the designers piss themselves about it which is understandable.

"OMG, I'm Lizzing!!"

Santino almost immediately starts in with the Timpressions and Korto is all "Girl, no..."

"I wonder if I can sew his mouth shut..."

Everyone who isn't from his season is ridic annoyed and even Daniel is staring holes into him. Santino has seriously just become a cartoon version of himself. He's trying much too hard to be funny or whatever and it's not workin anymore. The first time around it was funny because it was new.

Dear Santino,

It's old.

Love, Everyone

Uli and Sweet P are fighting over virtually everything and Chris keeps falling asleep. Tha hell? Wake up darling!

There is the requisite dinner to interrupt everything and Tim lets everyone know that they will have an extra day. But wait, there's more!!

Of course there is a 4th garment, and naturally it's with "unconventional" materials. That usually means trash, grocery store items or trees. Because it's not Project Runway unless you are being mindfucked. In this isntance it's the materials from this poor restuarant in NYC. Who made THAT decision on their staff?

Everyone is making it work and carrying on and it's sort of uneventful aside from Uli not starting on her resataurant piece and Chris being super narcoleptic.

He's aliiiiiive! Hey Mountaha!

It's runway time bitches! And holy hell there are a lot of dresses to judge harshly.
Let's start with the bad...

Has Santino been reincarnated as Lindsay Lohan? What's with the gold leggings? I do like the top, but it's all too sparkly and as Tim would say, "It's a lot of look".

Oh momma, no! This is just not wearable to the average person. If it was thrown into an actual collection then maybe I could pass it over as conceptual (ugly) art. Having it come out as 25% of your challenge collection totally throws me for a loop. I like the draping, but the boob area is weird and nobody needs shiny camel toe. Except Lady Gaga of course.

Just not my style, but I'm not sure who's it is. I feel like this is sort of an eff you to everyone. Like "Oh I didn't win last time, so I'll just make whatever I want and then complain when I'm on the bottom for ugly dance wear". Why did you even come back, dude?

This was favorite of Santino's looks. I found the top interesting to look at and much more artistic then anything else he made for this challenge. If he had focused on this side of his creativity, then maybe he would have placed higher, but he took an easy route for everything else.

This dress looks really dated to me. I think I saw some celeb from the nineties wearing something similar like Ivanka Trump or someone, before she had boobs...and good taste. It's just SO simple. Red carpet dresses these days have interesting details and are special. The only thing interesting is the fabric which just looks cheap. FAIL.

Santino's was the only collection that I really just disliked. In addition to it not being my cup of tea, he phoned it in.

Next in line is Bad Boy of Fashion part deux. I've always sort of enjoyed Jeffrey's aesthetic and liked certain pieces from his collection, but it just wasn't as special as some others.

This is definitely not my style, but jumpsuits period suck in my opinion. The workmanship is nice though and he's on trend. I do love the zipper, and don't kill me, but I like the shoes.

I like this dress and this jacket. But, I like them seperately. With the dress as short and shiny as it is, the model sort of looks like she is at her junior prom and got cold so she borrowed her boyfriend's blazer to cover up.

The jacket is beautiful, but the styling of the pieces together looks, again, dated for me.

This is a look I didn't like at all. It's kind of ugly and looks poorly made. The random fringe is making it all worse and the model sort of looks pregnant in this picture.

Least favorite look to most one of the best of the night. This dress was GORGEOUS! Sure, it's short, tight and shiny but that fabric really works in this cut and those cap sleeves are working it out. Plus, I love an asymmetrical neckline.

I found Jeffrey much more enjoyable and low key this time around. His style has clearly developed and I'm glad to see that he stuck to his aesthetic while catering to the challenge.

Mycheal is next! Oh Mycheal...I'm 50% on this one. At least that's more then his last runway show. Always looking for the positive...

This dress was just okay for me. I love the color but it's something I could find at Macy's. You are competing for $100,000, try harder Atlanta! And that purse is 50 kinds of fug.

Ummmmmm...no. I actually really liked this look at first, but the more I see it, the more I hate it. It's been a week and this outift is now on my shit list. I think the colors were I liked most at first, but the more I see it, I realize it's not well-proportioned in any way and that skirt looks like a fancy towel wrapped around the waist of a lopsided tee-shirt.

Anyhoodle, let's see how Mycheal does with innovation:

FAIL! So it looks like he sewed a bib of ugly placemats to a hoochie dress. I think Mycheal has shown he can work well with unconventional materials in the past and typically does a stunning job. I'm under the impression that he saw the other designers making their restaurant looks more wearable so he did too and it didn't translate well.

That, and it's ugly.

This dress, on the other hand was another gorgeous entry. It was modern in it's style, wearable and had just the right amount of funk to make it an easy red carpet choice. The color was amazing and the fit was divine. It's so obvious that Mycheal is a talented designer, I just feel as though he loses focus and reverts to the "sexy" far too often.

Ulie rounded out the bottom 4 but that's completely ridiculous so I'll just go in my own little order.

Sweet P and Chris were sort of neck and neck for me on this one. They both showed growth in their design aesthetic since their season has aired and I just like them both as people. On that note, Sweet P is going first for no good reason...

First things first, is that Shannon from MMASM?? If so, whassup Shannon?! This was probably my least favorite look from Sweet P. It's just so twee and adorable and it looks kind of sloppily made. Not a fan.

This dress is what I always thought Sweet P should be designing every day of her life. It personifies her personality. It's REALLY pretty but still has a hard edge to it with the leather. It's a great design and is well made and I loves it.

This look came out super cute for me. It's not practicle, it looks like a cupcake and is completely unwearable but dammit, it's adorable. If she's going to make an unconventional look she may as well make it ridiculous and fun.

Sweet P's red carpet looks was one my least favorites, but considering I liked most of the red carpet looks this is sort of a compliment. It just wasn't super flattering and the bottom hem part was ooglay. It wasn't awful but it could certainly earn a worst dressed spot.

Throughout the first 90 minutes of this show I assumed Chris was going to crash, burn and make me sad. And then this look sauntered out onto the runway. I took notice, and I know everyone else did. Talk about GROWTH! This is so understated and incredibly chic when you think about the human hair dresses Chris was doing before.

And then, hellllloooo gorgeous!!! I want this jacket, I NEEEED this jacket! It's flippin' gorgeous and I nearly jumped at my TV when I saw it. Needless to say, I liked it.

Was there a drag queen dress included in this challenge? Oh, there wasn't? My bad.

I thought this dress was pretty, but it's all very "They may take our lives, but they'll never take...OUR FREEDOM!" And yes, I had to look that up. It was heavy and much too kilt like. No way Nicole Kidman's skinny ass could have kept upright with that shit on.

Alright, so the top two were Daniel and Korto, but Ulie was royally screwed out of a higher spot. She should have been in the top two, sorry Korto. But it's true. Alas, she wasn't so let's get into her collection now.

OMG so beautiful! This dress was stunning on so many levels. The ruffle in the front was prominent yet understated enough to keep from taking over the whole look. And I'm completely obsessed with the sheer hem.

I hate a bubble skirt beyond belief. I hate scoopy hems. I love this dress. It's gorgeous. It's sweet and super feminine and it's gorgeous. Uli has completely stepped out of her comfort zone but kept her feminine aesthetic. Amazing.

This is a restaurant challenge look? Shut the front door! It's beautiful. The spacing between the ribbon-ey parts is perfection. This doesn't even look like an unconventional materials piece. Uli is the shit.

This is probably my least favorite look from Uli but I still love it. The proportions are nice, the colors and fabrics are expensive looking and it's sexy.

What I loved about Uli's collection is that I honestly couldn't tell which piece was the red carpet look. That includes the restaurant look and she really worked well with the materials, sanse print. The judges were pissing themselves over everyone growing as a designer and they Uli was missing her spirit. Look at that rosey dress, that has tons of spirit. Crackheads...all of them.

So Korto came in second. She seemed salty as hell about it and let everyone know it too.

This is Korto's red carpet dress and it could easily have fit into her Bryant Park collection from last season. Pretty as always but I've seen it before.

Vest/Top thingy whatever...gorgeous! Pants...gorgeous!! Fit on the pants...FAIL. Okay the fit as a whole isn't bad but the rise on the pants really throws the whole look off. It's pretty though I love the material.

THIS was her restuarant look? Stunning. Flat out stunning. It was beautiful. I liked it much more then her red carpet look, for the red carpet. The lava beads were a brilliant idea and it added to the dress instead of distracting from it.

I LOVED THIS DRESS!!!!! It was amazingly fabulous. This was another look that I thought was better then her red carpet dress. This dress was so much more modern then the pink one and it really fit the model beautifully.

Onto Daniel V. I've missed my wee cheerleader!!

This look was sporty, chic and fun. It was a serious departure for Daniel to do sportwear when we've always known him to do such beautiful and structured pieces. This was so sporty and adorable. And for the record, I was not bothered by the braless wonder walking the runway.

Soooo cute! Aside from the red carpet dress this was my favorite look. It's fabulous with the skinny pants with the vents! Shut up Daniel, where did this come from?

So if she had an oversized sweatshirt and a beard, she'd be the uni-bomber, y/y? I know, I konw...everyone has been saying that she looks like a suicide bomber but I really didn't see that at first. I just thought it was okay on my first run at it. Of course the bomb references make sense.

Gorgeous? Check. Stylish? Check. Modern? Check. Red Carpet Ready? Check.

I'm rather sure that this dress is what sealed the deal for Daniel for the win. It was gorgeous and different and like nothing anyone had seen before. The judges were falling all over themselves about the contestants growing fonr their first time on the show.

In a sense, looking at Daniel vs Korto, it wasn't fair to compare them. Daniel had 3 or more years to change his style and adapt himself as a designer while Korto had far less time to change. She was on in the most recent season, so what do they expect?

I'm not mad about Daniel winning. I'm more pissed about Uli being looked over for the win. I thought her transformation from season 3 until now was incredible and she deserved a lot more recognition then she received.

Overall, THANK GOD PROJECT RUNWAY IS BACK!!!!!!!

That is all...LOL. The All Stars challenge was fun and it was a great segue into the new season which I hope to get into more deeply.

Hope everyone is enjoying it and as always, Auf Wiedersehn!!!

Product. Placement. Project Runway, Season 5, Episode 7

2008-08-29T11:28:00.004-04:00

Oh my goodness kids, I am so sad I didn't get a full blog post in for the DRAG QUEEN episode!

I feel terrible but my schedule has been, to quote Suede, whackadoodle lately.

I would like to touch on last week's episode a little bit. Thank GOD Daniel is gone. How annoying can one smarmy, greasy little design boy be? At least he wasn't talking about his "impeccable" taste a whole lot.

I've noticed that there are so many bitchy little designers this season. Not like fun bitchy, like past seasons, but whiny, passive aggressive bitchy. Get overself, if you aren't established enough in the industry to have to be on this show, then your shit still smells.

Congrats to Joe though! Who knew token straight guy would pull it off? Korto's was gorgeous and Terri's was super striking, but Joe really hit the nail on the head with his sailor outfit.

Alright enough about the queens. Let's move on to this week's show!

We open on Kenley saying that Daniel was her bff on the show. I had already lumped her in the whiny bitchy designer category so this makes sense.

Hey guys, did you know that Heidi has a part time gig as a referee?

For this week's challenge, she sends them on a trip to the rooftop of some building and Blanorexic thinks they might be designing for some superstar while Korto think's they're going to Mariah Carey's penthouse. These people have clearly never watched this show.

Kenley is "scaaaareed!!" Shut up.

They get to the top and it's all very Oprah, "You won a car!!"

You won a pile of crap!

Obviously that's not it. Each of the four cars is stocked with materials made to construct Saturn cars. Oh yeah, did you all know Saturn is a sponsor for this show?

The itsy Saturn man calls for them to "Go!" and I half expected him to tell them to "Go shake it!" Rene Fris makes me giggle.

It looks like everyone goes running for the same car, except Jerrell who seems to have enough sense to go in the other direction.

They look like the homeless ladies on the corner near my old job.

My god, Suede is talking in first person. Unfortunately he just said whackadoodle. Wonderful.

Everyone gets to work and RatTail interviews that he wants to tone down his garment to please the "****ing judges". You don't want to please them, you want to impress them. And quit being a douche. And cut your hair.

Suede says whackadoodle again. He's back to talk in third person. Someone shoot me.

Great now he's talking about his dead father which makes me sad. Is he going to have a new dead relative for each challenge? Just saying.

You guys, my hands are like the perfect shade of tan.

Tim sends in the models for a fitting and he tells Kenley that her model had to drop out and they are replacing her with Germaine. So she naturally overreacts completely and whines like a total twit.

Jerrell said she probably booked a job that was paying her money and I laugh like a total moron because I thought he said she booked some GUY that was paying her money. Hehe.

Kenley's all well it's all about me right now. When is it not, honey?

Where's Mariah when you need her?

Alright we need to jump ahead because I have to go to the grocery store. Oh wait, Keith is a total bitch and everyone hates him. I think it's the rat tail.

Runway time! The models all do their walks and I must say that everyone did a relatively decent job this episode. It's hard to identify that these are car parts so good on you designers!

Laura Bennett is sitting in for Miss Nina and thank god it isn't Anne "Too much tootie" Slowey. Rachel Zoe is also there and her face should be a good wake up call for Blayne to quit tanning so damn much.

The judges start with Jerrell:

His garment came out quite good. The details are really interesting and he stuck with his futuristic vibe and really made it work. I have no idea how they did that to her hair, but it looks cool as hell. Good job Hobo Chic!

Blayne is next and HELLO fit problems!

It's not ALL bad. The bust doesn't fit, but that could have been fixed with some darting. I also think it's too long and would have looked better at knee length. The judges give him all kinds of shit and he's obvi in the bottom three.

Korto also used seatbelts like Blayne and hers was much more successful.

I was surprised more people didn't use this weaving technique. It ended up really working well for Korto and this piece came out really beautiful. It's chic and well made and looks expensive.

Leanne was another favorite and for good reason.

Her design was amazing. You would never know that those are car parts and it's SO well tailored and well made. It takes a great designer who can make massive hips look sexy and purposeful.

I liked Stella's a lot more when it walked down the runway. I thought the skirt moved well but then we got to the close-ups.

The construction was really poor on this thing. The skirt was gaping in spots and the fit in the top was awful. I liked the idea of it and I appreciated her stepping out of her comfort zone, but this was a big miss.

Fortunately for Stella, Keith crashed, burned and bitched.

On top of being badly made and poorly fitted this was SO boring. I get that he was trying to show restraint or whatever, but come on. This was terrible looking. And do not get me started on the back of this thing. It was awful looking and shittily made. He also talked back to Laura. Her "Excuse me?" with that tight little smile makes her a fun bitch.

Keith is all emotional because he doesn't like criticism. Newsflash Muscles, your in the fashion design industry. People are not going to hold your hand and tell you everything is gorgeous. Blodd, sweat and tears go into making your vision come to life and the public does not always respond well. If you don't know that now, then you are in the wrong line of work.

Leanne is the big winner this week and she and Korto are total front runner's for me right now. They are both showing really strong designs and I'm so impressed with them.

Needless to say, Keith is out and I am only going to miss the hotness factor. He was super mediocre and had such an attitude. He starts crying and I feel bad for two seconds. But whatever, we're weeding out the bad seeds. I'm excited to see who will make it to Bryant Park because we do have some strong talent left.

Alright, I'm of to the grocery store so I can cook up a storm! Have a good week everyone!

Auf Wiedersehn ;)

The Jungle Look -- Project Runway Season, Episode 5

2008-08-13T23:45:00.009-04:00

Oh Emm Gee bitches, has it been a crazy couple of weeks!

We had family in town and I lost my job and I've been working part time retail and am so tired afterward that I'm deadskie and can hardly even watch the show.

Buuuut, I've managed. Emily is gone!! My girl crush is eliminated. Sad face. And Jennifer is gone, but whatevs, she was boring and her Holly Golightly exhibit look was pure boredom.

This weeks episode is upon us and Blanorexia says "dramalicious" in the first two minutes. This season's designers suck ballz in the personality department.

Alex is auf and she actually speaks! She wishes the designers luck, which like never happens. What happened to the whole models should be seen and not heard?

Heidi explains that the designers will be making an outfit for a high powered woman. Blayne says he hopes it's not Hilary Clinton because he'd never win if he made a neon pantsuit.

No.

Shit.

Blayne.

It turns out that Brooke Shields is our special guest! Sweet! Suddenly Susan was the jam back in the day.

Teams of two. Wonderful. Although this does cut back on the multiple outfits on the runway. Hooray for halfsies. The designers show their stuff and Brooke gets to picking.

Keith is first. Big mistake lady. This is supposed to be Lipstick Jungle, not Ruffle Shitstorm. I mean we all saw the TP Dress.

Korto is next whose asthetic I enjoy. I liked her winning outfit last week with the darted pants.

Jerrell is picked and I kind of LOVE him. I really liked his striking inspiration dress even though his Olympics mindset is questionable. He also wears black nail polish which makes me smile.

Kelly is picked and so is Terri. I'm loving on Terri lately. Her asthetic is so sporty compared to all these other cocktail dress loving hags. I dig her.

Blayne is picked last and I sort of want to grab some earplugs since I know there is going to be a bunch of licious crap happening.

Designers pick their pairs and the most awesome pairing is Jerrell and Leatherella. I'm excited for the quotables that might come from this. He was also super sweet by making it not suck that she was picked last.

Passive aggressive designer speak happens at Mood with Kenley "gently" suggesting that Keith listen to her and use this god awful hippie shit fabric. Passive aggressiveness is a huge pet peeve for me.

"Being passive aggressive and kind of snatchy is a great release for me."

Make it work time and the designers get into it right away. Kenley and Daniel are almost immediate in their distaste for their fellow designers visions. Shut up. Please. It's so annoying and just useless.

Suede is questioning Suede and Terri says possibly the most awesome thing ever. "I don't know what he's packing...balls or vajayjay. But he needs to work that out. I ain't got no babies, ain't nobody sucking on my *bleep* (I think she said titty) so please, man up."

Amazing. Honey, Suede is a gay man who speaks in third person with a slightly blue mohawk. Manning up only happens to him when he sees another man, man up. Was that too obvious? It made me giggle.

The models come in for an early fitting and Joe is all drooling over Korto's pumpkin jacket.

So I think it's cute that he's dating Wes and all, but Daniel is a total bitch. He's so "It's not my style, I don't care, I'm not doing it and..." fuck you, watch the show one time before trying out. He was so bitchy last week about his Olympic Airlines costume last week and this week he's being a bitch to Kelly about her look.

"I'm all about high end glamour. Oh, and being a total asshat."

He totally mis-made the skirt which should have been a cake walk and he couldn't be more disgusting about it. "I just didn't care, because it was her design." Nice, bitch.

Tim comes in for a critique and the bitchassness starts.

Uh-oh, Korto's jacket thingymabob looks like a sweet potato parka. The dress underneath is nice, but super simple. Joe comes out of left field that he doesn't like the parka thing and he totally seems like an under the bus thrower. Watch your back JHud.

Joe's all, "I was just trying to make a gentle suggestion, and she flipped her shit." A 180 degree opinion change is not what I would call gentle.

Things seem to be going well for Jerrell and Stella. I was so hoping there would be hilariousness between them but they are working so harmoniously together.

It's like they are one person. Jereather?

It's the day of the runway show and all the designers are poo pooing each other's work. Specifically Kenley is questioning where Daniel's impeccable taste is. And no lie, so am I.

Hair, makeup, five minutes until the show...

"And some of you are still sewing? Question Mark?" I fucking want to marry Tim Gunn.

Let's start the show!

If you like me, check this box...

First we have Korto and Joe with their submission.

I must say that this jacket looks a shit ton better then it did on day one. They edited it well and while it still looks a bit like a halloween snow jacket, I dig it.

Korto and Joe were safe as were Terri and Suede. I thought Terri's look was great, but it was a bit young for the assignment.

And here's Kelly and Daniel's design. Orangina sums it up beautifully. "Slutty, slutty, slutty"

Kelly picks Daniel to go home since this is total shit and Daniel starts rattling off about his impeccable taste and high end glamour and womp, womp, womp. That's when Kenley loses her shit on the runway and it's SO uncomfortable.

Daniel is starting at her all intense and greasy and she's sort of a total bitch.

"You're going to club her in the knees, aren't you?"

My fave team this week is next and hello Jerrell, way to work it out, girl! Granted, his submission is majorly different then his drawing but it's put together well, the fabrics work gorgeously and it looks age and character appropriate.

Keith and Kenley are next and this isn't ba at all. I think that the idea is beautiful. The shirt was incredible interesting and came out so nice. The trick with the sleeves was neat and showed how Keith really paid attention to the challenge.

Here is the design for Blayne and Leanne. I don't think it's right for the challenge, but I know I'm in the minority in that I really like the actual design. I thought it was fresh looking albeit too casual. There are major fit problems going on in the crotchal region that made poor Polina look like she was packing heat, but the colors were great.

I also really liked that Blayne didn't throw Leanne under the bus since she was a good partner and it was his design. The judges call him bratty, which I get, but I found that to be a very mature move on his part, which has failed many others in the past.

So Keith wins it and I really felt that Jerrell was robbed. I personally liked his design better and thought that they were both suitable for the challenge, but Jerrell's was more of a risk and just better looking.

Kelly and Blayne are the last two standing and I knew Kelly was toast. She was good the first week but average from that point forward. Blayne had a better and less trashy design as well.

I thought Daniel should have been considered more for the auf'ing due to his shit attitude and crappy submissions each week, but I think Kelly deserved it even though I liked her. It was a cheap looking outfit which is never a good thing.

Next week there are drag queens! Excellent!

And on a finaly note. What in hobo hell was Jerrell wearing this episode? Or any episode for that matter?

For real, he looks like Little Orphan Tranny.

It's Not Easy Being Green - PR Season 5, Episode 2

2008-07-25T17:59:00.005-04:00

Our second episode of the season opens on Suede alone in his room waxing philosophical about Bobby Lee getting the boot last week. And Suede is still talking in the third person, which AJ finds increasingly annoying.

Wandering over to 17J, Terry and Leatherella are making some nasty ass looking drink with all kinds of grass in it. And judging by Stella's eyes most of the time, I do mean "all kinds".

I'm just kidding! You can't drink marijuana.

But for real, it looks like her trash bags from last week took a crap in a glass. Stella is OMGing about still being in the competition and suddenly seems to realize that this is a serious competition. Thanks for the joining the party, genius.

Apparently I've been spelling "Holla at ya boy" wrong. I guess it's "atcha". I guess I don't carelicious.

There is model picking and I guess I was wrong last week. Not all the models are homely. Just a select few. One of them gets the boot. The models are going to be clients for their respective designers.

Twist time! The models are going to be shopping for "green" fabric to make a cocktail dress.

Oh damn, I hate Keith's glasses and am I totally insane or does he have a mini, curly, rat tail in the back of his head? I might have to redirect my crush this season. Rat tail's are not okay.

I guess we'll never know...

I'm a bit surprised that the models seems so lost at Mood. You'd think that since they are involved in the fashion industry, they'd no more. But models aren't always known for being the sharpest pin in the box.

There is consulting, there is pattern making, Kelly calls Leatherella Drapey Draperson and it makes me smile because Stella starts freaking about draping. And I'm over her more then I was before.

Suede starts cutting strips of his fabric and has a whole convo with himself in third person, completely alienating the other designers.

"Suede's really sad. Suede's going to go home and cry all night long. Leanne likes Suede, but Suede needs to stop talking in third person."

AJ agrees with Leanne.

Tim comes in to scare everyone and Korto starts talking about her dress. It's cute. Inside out, but cute. Oh...it's not inside out? Oooooh...

Tim is clearly concerned and then says "hot mess" and I love him so much!

Suede's strips are looking fug and my mom audibly "ewed" it. I love her too. Wesley's dress looks like doody. Fertilizer is eco-friendly and organic, right? Ten bucks says that fabric smelled bad.

Leanne is in need of some editing, and coincidentally decides to keep adding shit to her dress. That always makes sense.

Stella is bitching more about the fabric and saying how she wishes every challenge was with "leathah" and wow, her voice is annoying.

Roblayne says something about her having a leather cat and it makes me smile. The Leatherella tells him to remove the leather strip from his teeth, referring to his gap. I have a gap too, bitch. Watch it. Then Blayne tells her he loves her leather face and I forgive him a smidge for that girlicious bullshit.

Oh my damn, he just called his model "Liciousness". I take everything back.

*random side note time* Kendall the model looks like a prettier version of Kate Bosworth. And I'm developing a girl crush on Emily.

Jerrell notes that "The looks on some of the designers faces, especially Team Ugly Brown Fabric, is kind a look of concern. And I think justly so." Not as quotable as "I am SALTY!!!" but true for sure. I think I'm going to like this queen.

I like salty foods.

The runway is upon us and as a surprise to no one, it's Natalie Portman, whom I LOVE!

The models start their strutting and I actually really like most of the looks. Some of them came out shitty, but overall things are looking cute.

I liked Terri's a lot since her fabric was so different from everyone else's. I also like Blayne's with the color blocks and Emily's with the braiding in the back.

Let's get to the winners and auf'ers.

Kenley is up first and it's super cute. The belt looks amazing with it and while it's a bit tight in the bust, it's very flattering to the model.

Wesley gets torn a new one and his garment does look REALLY overworked. It's not god-awful, but the fabric is certainly doing it no favors. Everyone is talking about Nina's "I think shiny, tight and short, is the quickest way to look cheap" comment. Hi Heidi!! It's been said, but it's still funny.

"OMG, did you see Heidi's short, shiny, tight outfit? How do you say 'cheap' in German?"

On to Leatherella. I sort of hate that she's in the top three since I can't stand her. I just hate how she's so willing to give up and just eff everything. There are plenty of other talented designers that would love to take your place, at least give it a try. I don't hate the dress, but I liked other designs a lot better.

Korto is also given a beating over her hemlines and the odd choice of backward darts. It would have worked if it were tailored better and I think if the darts weren't so thick. If they were more subtle, like piping, it would have gone over much prettier.

Next is Suede, and I must say that his dress ended up a lot better then I imagined it would. It's still a little strange to me, but it looks great on his model and is definitely interesting.

Leanne's dress needs editing. Like Tim said to her hours ago. She kept throwing shit on there and it looks that way.

Suede wins, and I'm not so sure I agree with it. It took a ton of work to do his design and it looked good, but I responded better to Kenley's. And Suede talks in the third person like a total douche.

Wesley has been auf'ed. Oh sad! I thought it would be Leanne but that fabric was just a disaster and I'm not surprised they were the bottom two.

There are still a shit ton of designers and this episode felt a little boring. Next week, it seems that the designers are all trying to kill each other, so that should make for more interesting blogging. Guess we'll have to wait and see...licious.

Designers of the Round Table...cloth - Project Runway, Season 5

2008-07-17T15:17:00.013-04:00

Well, well, well...we're back I see. And so quickly! While the wait between Season's 3 & 4 seemed endless, this was has been (obviously) rushed.

No matter, since it's my favorite show. I can't complain too much, except that Bravo is seriously trying to ruin the franchise before the big jump to Lifetime (really? Lifetime? I at least hope that one of the challenges involve the designers making an outfit for a pregnant/raped/kidnapped Tori Spelling/Candace Cameron/Jennifer Love Whatever for her upcoming role in the Lifetime Original Movie, Not Without my Recycled Storyline - The Story of Washed-Up Actresses).

I am avoiding the spoilers just out of principal. You will not ruin this for me, bitches!

Let's move on to the task at hand. I'm back! My job is in it's slow season and I think I can sneak a couple hours away each week, during work, to start recapping again. Chicka-chicka-yeah.

This time around, we're back to 16 designers. That's a lot of people to meet and they all come in to the Gotham apartments, while the screen shows off their respective portfolios.

Most notable for me are Leanne, because I thought her portfolio was really gorgeous; Keith, cuz he's hot as balls; and Suede because his name is dumb. Oh, and Korto because I think she looks like Jennifer Hudson. I got confused and half expected Paula to show up and tell Heidi that she enjoyed the unicorns flying out of her ass or something.

We also find out that Blayne is a tanorexic.

I sincerely hope that isn't bronzer.

Oh, honey, why?

I also figure out that someone, somewhere has made American Flag leggings. Aaaand, Stella is wearing them. Everyone is giving her the Cher edit, but I'm getting a distinct Illeana Douglas vibe from her. A goth, American Flag Leggings wearing vibe, but nonetheless.

Leggings? Leather? Ugly is as leather boy shorts does, I guess.

Heidi and Tim invite the crazies up to the roof and Tim likely breaks a windshield via champagne cork. They do the requisite meet 'n greet party, but as far as I know there were no walk-off's.

I'm rather sure Blayne set-up a lawnchair for melanoma reasons, though.

Let's get to the challenge, shall we?

The designers are going on a field trip (I feel like I've been here before). Tim leads them through New York only to end up at Gristedes. Wait a second, we HAVE been here before! Tim says there's a special guest joining them, and before she even pops on screen, I know it's got to be Princess Austin!

Scarlett O'Homo

I literally lost my shit and turned to my mom and said "He looks beeeaaauuutiiifuuul!" while clapping like a seal. I am so easily pleased. But, on the real, I think Austin is my most favorite designer, from all seasons of Project Runway. I loved his designs on the show and am so pleased that he's made a name for himself in the business with his opportunity.

I did notice that he was not wearing lipgloss though, and that sort of made me sad.

The producers have finally run out of new ideas and are reverting back to Season 1's premiere challenge: The Supermarket Challenge!

As you all know, the designer's each get $75 and 30 minutes to ransack Gristedes for materials to create an innovative look out of everyday items.

Keith, come show us which way the beach is...

In Season 1, this challenge was so much fun and really showcased how the designers can think outside the box. Interesting items purchased: bouncy balls, Solo cups, vacuum cleaner bags and mops.

Back at Parsons, the designers begin to transform their grocery items into fashion and the results start off super iffy.

Stilleana bought trash bags to use for her design, and upon opening the packaging discovers that they are not good trash bags. Okay, rock star, what did you expect? When your design revolves around trash bags the quality of the bag becomes a moot point. Whether it's a great trash bag or a dollar store one, it's still a trash bag.

She starts bemoaning the dollar store quality trash bags and doesn't think she'll be able to do anything with it. If only trash bags came in American Flag print.

Tanorexia starts fitting and pinning his dress form with drawer liners and actually calls them, I shit you not, "girlicious".
Ummmmmmm...yeeeaaaahh.

I hope Nicole Sherzinger likes place mats.

Jerrell has a similar response to mine and finds it heinously annoying.

But Tano keeps saying it and I wonder if he really wants his attempt at a catchphrase to remind everyone of the Pussycat Dolls. I never watched this trash, but since I'm an avid Top Model fan I used to see commercials for Pussycat Dolls: Girlicious constantly. Given that this project was the brainchild of PCD founder Robin Antin, I am officially dubbing Blayne: Roblayne Tantin.

It's obvious that he's desperately trying to capitalize on the success of Christian's feircetrannymess bit from last season, but it's seriously not working for me right now.

Murmurings are made throughout the workroom that a lot of people picked similar items with their use of table cloths.

Uh-oh, table cloths are basically muslin but with a picnic pattern on them. And since muslin = fabric, and this challenge is about being innovative with strange materials, the majority of the designers get an ass ripping from Tim during his first go-round.

Oh, snap. You bitches better run.

Tim straight up calls them 'slackers', and he's totally spot on. Ugly table fabric is not innovative, it's just ugly. And Tim looks super peeved.

He meets with Kelli, who's had a flash of brilliance by dying vacuum cleaner bags. The paper really looks like high end painted fabric and is starting to come together nicely.

Tim also check in on Stella and she hasn't done much aside from opening the package of trash bags and staring at it for a few hours. Whatever, I'm already over her.

He also checks in with Jerry who is making some batshit crazy April Showers, Bring May Fugliness outfit. He's trying to create a raincoat out of shower curtains and it's turning out very strange looking. Tim thinks he needs something else with it and Jerry agrees.

And I might be crazy, but the second I saw Jerry, I thought he looked like Bobby Lee from MadTV.

Yes? No? Does it matter?

And on the subject of people looking like...people... This picture of Emily at Gristedes, is giving me a major Juliette Lewis vibes.

I imagine it's the oddly placed headband, but since I sort of have a secret girl crush on Juliette Lewis, I'm going to let it slide.

While Tim is in the workroom, he stops at Roblayne's station and asks him what the fug he's making. Tano says it's an outfit that won't bore the judges, and Tim agrees.

When Tim goes to leave, Roblayne tells him to "Holla at ya boy!"

Really?

I didn't want to do this, but you've left me no choice. You want girlicious?

Here.

Strangely enough, he fits in. I think it's the skin tone. All he needs is a bad weave and ugly boots.

There are some things you just don't say to Tim Gunn.

This thing is getting long with me talking about absolutely nothing, so lets jump to the runway portion.

The designers are all assigned models, and I must say, it's a pretty homely bunch this go 'round. Is Bravo trying to make this season total shit?

Everyone struts their designs out on the runway, and it's clear who the top and bottom folks are, although there are a couple I disagree with.

For starters, there were two I liked a lot that I think were near the top of the group, but not quite top 3 quality.

This dress was Jennifer's, she of the librarian looks, and was made out of paper towels. It's a rather simple shape, but using paper towels was a great move. It really came out looking like fabric which was nice. I also enjoyed the touch of random lipstick kisses. Plus, the styling was great.

This outfit was Terri's, and while the bottom part was ugly and unimaginitive, I really liked that mop halter. I really responded well to those designers who thought outside of the box, insted of just gluing shit to a table cloth and calling it innovation.

The top three I did agree with and the innovation they used was genius.

While Korto used a table cloth, the silhouette came out beautiful and the color really worked on her model, which was fortunate. I also thought that this was the most beautifully tailored piece out of all of them.

And the detailing around the neck was flawless.

Daniel used plastic beer pong cups (at least that's what they are to me) to make a cocktail dress. He heated and molded the plastic around a muslin shell and it came out really cool.

It's a little bit armor-like and it makes me want to play flip cup, but I thought the idea was smart and really original.

The winner was Kelli who really went for broke in her usage of everyday materials to create her look.

I kind of hated the fit on the boobs, but that's a small complaint because the rest was gorgeous. She made her own hooks and eyes out of notebook binding! Awesome. And a totally deserved win.

But enough niceness, lets move on to the shit.

And shit it was.

I'll start with Roblayne, but only because I didn't think his was THAT bad.

Don't get me wrong, it looked like shit and Little Miss Muffett wasn't making it any better with his ego about it. My argument against it being in the bottom three was how much better it enveloped the idea of the challenge then some of the other pieces.

For example, Suede's dress was ugly and easy. He sewed a piece of shit dress out of an ugly table cloth and glued doggie doo bags all over it.

I'm just thinking that the judges should have thought more about difficulty then beauty.

Speaking of easy and ugly.

Trash. Hag.

I'm not going to give this much time, because she gave up and that shit pisses me off.

Alas, Bobby Lee was the one who got the boot. And boy, did he deserve it!

The serial killer references have been made, I know. But, on the real, she looked like Ryan Gosling in Murder By Numbers with that get-up.

And, while I love me some Ryan Gosling, this was not okay. On top of being wholly creepy, it was poorly made and unimaginitive. Plus, the dress underneath was total shit.

So we have one down and fifteen to go and I'm happy to be back to blogging. I'll also be chronically my (hopeful) weight loss as I've rejoined Weight Watchers to get rid of my juicy parts =)

See you all next week!

I'm a Neglectful Skank

2008-01-17T12:53:00.000-05:00

So I got a new job and the process of having the holidays and then dealing with a septoplasty and then getting a new job has seriously taken it's toll on my blogging time.

That and my spare time has been slim to none.

This is the first week of the new job but I'm going to try really hard to blog about this weeks episode. So much has happened! Jacks sick, Steven is gone!!, and then the sure fire dark horses, Kevin and Kit are eliminated back to back?! What the fuck Bravo?

Anyway, as a consolation I'll leave you bitches with a darling picture of my puppy.

He's a doll baby.

Promise to try!!!

Made in the 80's - Project Runway Season 4, Episode 4

2007-12-06T09:56:00.000-05:00

So, when I was a freshman in college, I had this muscle tee-shirt that said "Made in the 80's" on it in gold lettering. It was quirky in the sense that I was born in '82 and the shirt looked so dated it could very well have been made and designed then. Of course, everyone and their mother got a version of it, so I was forced to retire it early.

I don't really have a point to this story aside from pointing out my questionable taste in clothing as an 18 year old. That and it works with the title of this post.

So as well all know by now, the designers were split into teams of three and given some of the most offensive fashion fads of the 70's, 80's and early 90's to recreate.

Most of the fads were 80's inspired.

Unfortunately.

From giant frilly poodle skirts to oversized sweaters, our dear designers were tasked with updating these looks and making a cohesive collection.

I know, right!

Stephen's perplexed face echoed mine to a tee.

Ugh. Dancewear.

And our loveliest judge who isn't the host, Miz Nina Garcia was on hand to present the challenge in the workroom.

This picture is totally candid.

I figured that with all the nasty fashion Nina's head would start spinning around and pea soup would start spewing from her face.

Anne Slowey's tootie should be so lucky.

Anyway, I was really hoping for some drama as I heard little twitters that there would be some good fighting between Ricky and Victorya and between Jillian and anyone within hearing range.

The built-up drama was for naught however, as both of these "fights" were rather mild-mannered and well communicated. There was no crying, no crying and cutting and no model stealing.

Oh, wait. Jack totally ganked Ricky's model.

You total bitch.

At least Ricky didn't cry. Again.

And at least Jack handled himself better then Shetangi and apologized. What's with all the niceness?!?!

Anyway, so the teams were Jillian, Rami and Kevin with Jillian as the lead; Chris, Sweet P and Stephen with Chris leading; Christian, Kit and Jack with Christian as the fearless one and Ricky, Elisa and Victorya enlisting Ricky as their leader.

Throughout this whole episode I found that several designers reminded me of people or characters I've seen.

For example. There is something about Stephen that totally makes me think that he is the lovechild of Ryan Phillipe, Wallace Shawn and Andrae. It's weird.

Like, totally weird. I'm also beginning to think I'm crazy.

He's so totally adorable and sweet though.

In other Celebrity look-a-like news, the more I see Jillian:

The more I see this:

Above would be Ally Sheedy starring in the 1986 classic, Short Circuit as Stephanie. (If you've never seen this movie, do yourself a favor and rent it this weekend. "No disassemble!")

I'm not saying that Jillian looks like Ally Sheedy, but the way she dresses and wears her hair is really reminiscent to me of this character. She has that late 80's early 90's casual style with the overalls and button down shirts.

I also had no idea that Stephanie was played by Ally Sheedy.

Perhaps I've completely lost it. Anyone feelin' where I'm coming from?

And speaking of overalls, they just happened to be one of the outdated trends featured.

They ALSO just happened to be Jillian's bottom of choice that day. I can't lie, her overalls are sort of cute.

But.

Still.

They are overalls!

Jillian has this weird, sort of hippie 80's style that's been given a punch of classiness that somehow works for her. I also think she's lying when she says she is 26. She carries herself much older in my opinion.

Along with Rami and Kevin, Jillian won the challenge and proved that I'm not wrong about her and she is sort of awesome!

Cute!!

Like really cute. You know, considering these looks were inspired by Poodle Skirts, 70's Wear and flippin' Overalls they came out well made, fashionable and wearable.

At least to a point.

Rami's dress was a little on the "milkmaid" side of things and Jillians wide leg overalls were a bit much but these looks could have easily walked off a sportwear runway and they were coheseive.

Which is more then can be said for the other three teams.

Someone did not get the memo.

Okay, I lied. This is very cohesive. But where is the pleather?! Where is the fringe??

Not that I think pleather or fringe is a good thing, it's just that; wasn't that a facet of the challenge?

The zoot suit (seriously?) is clearly represented, but in all honesty a pin stripe isn't so hard to factor in to recent fashion. Or to create a series of looks.

The outfits were cute but not nearly as challenge minded as Jillian's team.

The team worked well together though and Christian seemed to lead well.

About Christian:

Where's my chihuahua?!

Firstly, I keep typing "Christina". This isn't his fault. I'm a dyslexic typer apparently.

Something that is his fault:

The fact that he talks like Paris Hilton. If you listen to him, he says things that are just so Hilton-esque that it makes me a little vommy.

In fact, he actually said that something was "So hot" this episode.

There's nothing wrong with this, per se, but his tone is so Parisified that it makes me want to slap some originality into him.

This bitch is clearly talented but I think he's so young that he's grabbing at other people's individuality and forgetting his own. Get your shit together Christian. You're a talented little pockey gay, start acting like one.

Or don't. It is KINDA entertaining. And I sort of love you anyway.

I mean, I have no idea what's happening here, but I want in!

It appears that Little Christian and Kit have made a non-working (or is it?) Karaoke machine.

And they're using it.

And I want to play too.

Look at everyone all happy and cheery!

Why doesn't Bravo play these scenes? It's nice to catch a little glimpse of the designers having fun and not trying to shiv each other.

Project Idol?

Loves it!

What I don't love:

Neon, cutouts and visible underpinnings.

This sort of spelled disaster from the beginning.

That and you had Ricky McCryBaby as your leader. Victorya should have quit her bitching and taken over.

I'll cut you with my raised eyebrow.

The fit and proportions were weird, but so was the fabric choice.

That being said, this color scheme wasn't much better:

But the clothes were so PRETTY!!

The designs weren't bad. Maybe I'm just in denial.

I thought Sweet P's dress was totally adorable for one thing.

Stephen's was okay, and wearble but dancewear? Not so much.

Now, onto Chris.

Good lord, I'm going to miss this one.

I thought his dress was really beautiful. Simple, yes. But it fit well and was constructed well too.

However, the jacket wasn't so nice. I get that people didn't like the fabric and that the fit was weird, but his outdated trend was SHOULDER PADS! Shoulder pads make everything fit weird.

I hated that the judges kept saying it was wide. I kept yelling "Shoulder pads!" at my TV.

I am so sad faced at his auf'ing because he'd done beautiful work up until this point and this was Chris's first stumble. I was hoping that he'd last awhile and we could delve deeper into his creativity.

Ricky has been in the bottom before. Why does he keep getting chances? I know Kors just wants to make him cry. That fickle bitch.

Al....most.......there......

Chris was sacrificed and it sucks. I think Ricky was more deserving but alas, I'm not Donna Karan.

Thank god.

I know. I'm hilarious.

I think Chris would have benefited from combining those 80's fads into multiple garments a la Jillian's team, rather then separating them.

But again, they were using 80's fads. And that's never a good thing.

I'm waiting for the designers to start dwindling down. It gets more fun and recapping becomes easier. There's too much shit to talk about right now.

It's making me see shit that isn't there. Like Andrae Phillipawn.

Miraculously, it's Friday at 2:45 and I'm done, which means my recap will be on time. Hooray!

Until next week, I'd like to leave you with the cutest picture ever.

The designers are so orally fixated this season!

Sexy ;)

Enjoy your week everyone!!

Tackling Menswear - Project Runway, Season 4, Episode 3

2007-11-30T12:26:00.001-05:00

So I missed week one's BPR recapapalooza by like an hour.

And I missed last week's recap completely. Stupid family holidays. And it was Sarah Jessica Freakin' Parker!! If I ever get a couple of free hours, I might recap it, but as it was for Bitten, it was more boring then it could have been.

Onto this week. We have another guest to design for! Imagine that =)

Today's guest is none other then Giants star running back and all around handsome man, Tiki Barber. He's also the new host of Good Morning America or something. As a football fan, I mostly know Tiki as a killer running back. Seeing him all buttoned up and reporting is tres weird.

Still handsome though.

As we all know, I'm a big football fan, most notably the Redskins and most notably, Chris Cooley. I'm not so fickle though as to not care for the rest of my team and I'd like to take a moment to pay tribute and remember one of my favorite players from the past few years. Sean Taylor was murdered last week at his home in Miami. On top of being a member of the Redskins, he was also an incredible player. As a tackle, he was one of the most feared in the NFL and as a young man, he was just beginning his life with his fiancee and daughter. It's a damn shame and incredibly sad and since there was football featured in the episode, I thought I'd take a quick moment to honor a man who was on his way to being one of the greats.

This is Project Runway though and one thing I never thought I'd see on Runway is anything football related. It just doesn't go. And a menswear challenge is sort of mean spirited but we'll get into that in a minute.

Two of my favorite things to watch on TV have collided! And while it wasn't quite as disasterous as expected, it was a smidge on the boring side.

Although hot male models were around in abundance, so I really can't complain that much.

Yeah, could we actually get menswear challenges more often? That'd be great.

If they stick with football players and got Chris Cooley on next time, I could die one happy bitch.

So male models and gay designers and female hormones must have made for one sexually tense workroom.

Oh, except for Kevin. Did you guys know that Kevin ISN'T gay?? I know, right. A male designer who is straight. It's like an endangered species or something.

Except for, you know, Jeffrey, and Michael, and Vincent, (although his crazy factor makes him almost non-human anyway) and Robert, and if you combined Daniel V and Santino you'd get most of one, and parts of Daniel Franco (wait, seriously?).

Newsflash Kevin, staight designers aren't THAT rare, but kudos to you for beating us over the head with it. Much appreciated. You're straight, we get it.

Although that left hand does look a bit swishy and your facial hair is sort of immaculate.

But seriously, all doubt of his straightitude was put to rest when they met Tiki Barber, and Kevin not only knew who he was and what team he played for, but he knew the position and that Tiki was one of the best. Congrats Kevin! You've passed the test. Or something.

But enough about you, you straight piece of man meat and purple shirt making fool.

Does biting my nails make me look more manly?

Let's move on to the gays! Most notably, Jack who won this challenge.

Turns out Jack is incredibly muscular. His design was a little "Eh, it's okay" boring, but I think he won because he's the only designer that actually looks like a football player.

He's built like a linebacker! You know Tiki was all, "Yeah I'd wear that, but put that dude in a helmet and some pads and lets run some drills!"

Ummmm. No.

Jack doesn't strike me as the football type.

Here's his design though. Again, eh, boring.

Yes it's well put together and OH MY GOD!! the pocket is a cross stripe. Whoopy freakin' do.

I didn't get the judges going all ga ga over this when more intricate and better designs were ushered off the runway and didn't even make top three.

This was Jillian's design. I thought the fit was immaculate, it is four FINISHED pieces and the use of a colorful print on the shirt was interesting and in line with what the client asked for. Granted, I probably wouldn't have gone floral, but oddly enough it works.

I'm developing a total designer crush on Jillian. Her first dress was really adorable and her pre-show runway pieces were incredible. I think she's been underrated so far by the judges.

Hellraiser 15: Unappreciated Fashionista

I'm excited to see how she'll fare for the rest of the season.

I'm also starting to find Elisa overtly interesting in the way she designs.

I have no idea what she's doing here but it works. While her look was a bit Newsies it was well constructed. She's sort of nutty but in a happy way.

The rest of the best were Kevin and Kit. I can't lie, both of these looks were really strong, and again I'm surprised that Jack beat them out.

This look was awesome and I'm surprised it didn't win. The colors would have been great with Tiki's skin tone and the look was really sharp with a cool twist.

I'm just shocked a straight male designer pulled this off, because you know Kevin's not gay. Okay, I'm stopping. Seriously.

Maybe it's straight descrimination? We'll never know.

Kit's look had some issues but the overall thought process was really great. I didn't love the yellowish tint to the pant fabric and the jacket was a bit ill fitting, but the idea of using fleece was brilliant. It's a more casual look yet still really polished and since Tiki has a difficult frame to fit, fleece was a really smart idea.

Kit's totally growing on me. Her Bitten look, while legging based was also a favorite of mine from last week.

Plus, she's sort of adorable.

She's like Alison 2.0 or something. But potentially more talented and edgier.

You know who else is totally adorable?

He's so soft spoken and sweet! And his designs have been rather strong so far. I mean, aside from Marion's disaster from last week.

He's like a softer, less teary version of Andrae.

AND he's helpful! If he goes out on some weird fluerchon corset making Challenge in week 8, I won't be happy.

The whole drama of "borrowing" patterns from pants already being worn was dumb. Tim was even asked and said that was fine. Menswear is a pain as we'll see in a moment from the bottom three. It's harder to execute and most designers are geared towards womenswear. This challenge was borderline evil, but it really was better then I thought it would be.

Now, for the crap.

Ricky:

Not THAT crappy. I'm pretty sure the judges slapped him in the bottom to make him cry again. He's a lingerie designer and he made three pieces of menswear! That's a pretty big accomplishment. Yes the fit was a bit off and there were pins, but it wasn't THAT bad.

Poor Ricky. He's totally their puppet now.

Sweet P:

This wasn't good. The collar was just a fucking mess. Sweet P seemed to know early on that she'd have trouble though and I can't lie, I admire her for sticking to it.

She wholly committed to fucking up royally and that's an okay thing.

I'm so fucked.

Like, I'm seriously fucked.

Damn, Sweet P is fucked.

You know you're totally fucked, right?

But, at least she made a shirt.

Oh, Carmen. Where did it all go so wrong?

The crotch on the pants was 50 kinds of awkward the jacket was lopsided and the hat was ugly.

Oh yeah, you didn't make a shirt either.

All of the other designers at least had the basics. Pants and a shirt. It wasn't always pretty, it was always complete, but it was there.

See, this REPRESENTS a shirt.

No. It doesn't.

It's a piece of fabric draped over his nipples. You would have been better off sending him shirtless.

At least then I could have ogled a bit more.

She was clearly overly confident and missed the mark completely. Oh well, I didn't see her going far anyway. I always feel like these first several episodes always get rid of the sacrificial lambs in most instances.

Except for Malan of course.

Two of these bitches are totally fucked.

So it's Tuesday the afternoon before episode four airs. I suck at blogging!

On that note, I'll leave you with Heidi-son and her new catch phrase:

Sayonara!

Are You Ready to Runway - Project Runway Season 4, Episode 1

2007-11-15T11:01:00.000-05:00

Aaaaaand, we're back!

It's been ages since I've blogged, so forgive me what few readers I maintain. I've had nothing to blog about as I live an exceedingly boring life and live vicariously through aspiring fashion designers.

When we last left the Runway, Jeffrey won the whole thing with a pretty rockin' Bryant Park collection, Laura Bennett became my hero and Heidi Klum had 3000 more babies.

But it's time for season 4 and you know what that means!! Pre-judging on all accounts. What fun!

I have seen the photos of the pre-runway Runway show, and so I developed biases and opinions. Imagine that!!

So far I'm loving on Jillian, Chris, Christian, Jack, Sweet P and Rami.

After the first episode, not much has changed.

The formula is the same, with a few noteable changes. Bluefly and Gotham being the main ones. That and Tim's title is different. But this all matters naught, because Tim is BACK!

Lordy, I was going through withdrawal.

The world makes sense all of a sudden! Tim Gunn is my drug and you bitches can make me go to rehab.

Now that that's over, we have introductions and people meeting and blah blah blah. Let's get down to the goods, shall we?

The designers meet Tim and Heidi at Bryant Park and are forced to Amazing Race it across a big field to a tent of $50K worth of fabric.

I love that Sweet P took her shoes off. A girl after my own heart. I can't tear apart expensive fabric in heels. Nor would I do it in leggings, but that's a whole other story.

So poor Chris March almost has a heart attack, because newsflash: He's a bit chubbly. Fortunately he claims to have gotten the fabric he would have wanted. He's either lucky or lying. I like him already.

Hilariously, there is only one fabric not chosen. These designing bitches tear apart the tent fabric but leave this poor dead animal:

It's all very "The Cheese Stands Alone".

But for reals, it's ugly.

Maybe Kit Pistol could have used it for a pillow?

It looks softer then that bag. And Kit Pistol? Seriously? I dig a girl with a point of view and all, but come on.

So the designers are to make a design that expresses their vision or some such thing. Basically you have free reign with this fabric to do what you want. Sort of similar to season two but with good fabric instead of crap muslin.

Interestingly, to me at least, I imagine each piece in muslin just to assess the design more then how the fabric was working with the design. Opinions on that later though.

We're back in the workroom, making it work and carrying on and Rami has a beautiful body...

Disagree with me, I dare you.

The designers work and bitch and bitch and work and Christian says he's "kind of a big deal."

I'd hate to break it to you darling, but you're "kind of" a few years too late to still be saying that.

Tim mentions the Blue Fly wall being at the designers disposal and I can't lie, it's the best accessories wall they've had. I love Blue Fly.

Wants it! All of it!

In the mean time, Elisa is a total nutbag and I love her. She's already been pegged Earth Mother by fans and it's quite suitable. She's all "I love tea and grass and the world and air and teal scrunch boots." I like her already.

Turns out she's quite talented as well, but the whole marionette thing scares the shit out of me. Thankfully there are no pictures, otherwise I'd be hiding under my bed right now.

In the workroom, there is a lot of editing toward Simone and Elisa, so you already know they're going to eff up royally. Whatevs. Tell me how to think Bravo. It makes my life easier.

Speaking of the workroom, I notice that Ricky has an affinity for hats.

Well, that's not good.

It gets slightly worse though, as the designer head to the runway, Ricky's changed his hat.

Oh.

No.

You are aware that you are essentially wearing a train conducter's hat, right Ricky?

See the similiarities?

True story. Ricky has always dreamed of being a train conducter. This whole lingerie fashion thing is a total side gig for his real ambitions.

Well, Ricky, now your dream has come true!

He looks so blissful!

But, back to the fashion at hand.

I barely remember what Ricky sent on the runway as I've seen it before at Vicky' Secret. Pretty, but boring. He was in the bottom three, but thankfully he's safe!

I want to keep making fun of his hats =)

In other news, it seems that to relieve runway stress the designers perform cheerleading routines.

Hop on Christian!! We'll totally basket toss you!!!

I guess it turns out the designers were actually doing yoga or something.

But since the producers didn't show us these clips but posted the pics on Bravo's website, I'm just going to keep making shit up.

That being said, I like Sweet P's dress a lot. That is all. I will wait here for MY basket toss.

Somewhere, I'll recap the fashion. Let's do it now!

What I liked:

Rami. His dress was draped beautifully and it won. Draping ain't easy folks. I must say that I definitely agree with those who thought it was very Grecian and toga like.

She looks very at home, no?

It was a beautiful dress, but I'm not so sure it should have won.

I much preferred Christian's look. It was incredibly intricate and fashion forward.

A lot of folks didn't like the fabrics he used, but this takes me back to seeing everything in muslin. I, personally, liked the plaid and thought it was very chic, but if you saw this look in muslin it would still be stylish, and well constructed. I also thought it was the most interesting look on the runway. Trendy, but original.

Christian also looks a lot like my main gay's boyfriend. Maybe that's why I like him so much.

Anycrap, I also thought Jillian's look was very strong.

Fun and flirty and the color was wonderful. Plus, the shoes were hot as hell.

Jack's was great as well.

When he was first talking about the blue, black and white together and I thought of my high school mascot (those were our colors). But it came out so wearable and adorable. Love it.

Seeing the runway, Chris March's dress made the biggest impact for me. The way his fabric caught the light and shimmered was absolutely breathtaking. It was my initial favorite.

I went back to the whole muslin thing though. If this were in a less beautiful fabric it may not have gone over so well. It's still constructed masterfully and the detailing it wonderful.

Is that a giant fleurchon?!

I take back everything!

Just kidding! The design was great, but I do think Christian's was more innovative.

So I've gone over the good. And I'm about to do the bad. But I'd like to go over the hilarious first.

Steven's outfit was incredible in construction and detailing, but I couldn't help but get an overwhelming flight attendant vibe from it.

I was going to photoshop his model in front of a plane or something, but then I found the best picture ever.

Okay, so I know that the whole "real doll" thing is so hot right now, but this is a little ridiculous!

Did Steven happen to go to the Robert Best School of Designing for Barbie?

The bad. Naturally, it consists of Simone and Elisa.

Earth Mother is seriously talented. Her dress was cut on one seam! And I can't lie, the top was alright.

But girl! I have two words for you. Ed. It.

Plus those boots are fug. This is a total scrolldown for hideous fashion. The bottom was 15 kinds of horrid. She just threw shit at it. Unfortunately it stuck.

She was even all "My instincts said to stop." No shit. Then she made this weird noise to simulate scissors cutting the fabric poo off. I wish I could spell out the noise, but I can't. Just know it was awesome.

As we all know, Simone got the boot. Her dress was ugly and crappily made.

And that jacket was ill fitting.

And the hair was ugly. And the shoes were boring.

And I was unsurprised by her auf'ing.

Elisa overdid it, but she at least has skills.

So, the show is back and my photoshopping skills are lacking.

All important ingredients for a season of fun!! We're sure to have standout personalities and bitch fights galore.

Not to mention the fashion ;)

I can't wait! Can you?

Until next time, it's "sew" time to go watch football.

Kisses, bitches!

Hokie Pride

2007-04-18T14:22:00.000-04:00

I stood outside last night holding a candle.

I was wrapped in a blanket and on any other Tuesday evening, I would be glued to the television in American Idol anticipation.

Instead, I was holding back tears. I have thought so much over the last few days how easily my life could have crumbled before me. Had this boy decided to go to a different building to make his statement, or had he waited a single day, I would be a shell of myself right now.

My sister, my best friend and one of the few people in this world I love unconditionally is an engineering student at Virginia Tech.

She was in class on Monday April 16, 2007. Had Tuesday April 17 been the day, she would have been in Norris Hall.

An angel must have been looking upon her because she was far from the events that transpired that day. The thankfulness that I have been feeling is overwhelming and the only thing I want to do is give her a hug, to assure myself that this is real. To assure myself that she is safe.

I cannot describe the mix of gratitude and disgust that I have been feeling this week. I am grateful that she is physically unharmed and disgusted that thousands of people across the country have lost a part of their souls.

All due to the selfish act of one.

I could easily be spending this day in a state of disbelieving grief.

I could have easily lost part of my heart.

To those who have lost part of theirs, I am sorry.

Well, it seemed like any other day
In this quiet college town.
The students bustled
While leaves rustled
Across a school renowned.

The campus shone with flurries
And the day began with joy.
But soon it was marred
And forever scarred
By the actions of one boy.

Be strong Hokies
For your friends need you now
More then ever before.

Help each other with your grief
As it wages an eternal war.

Be strong Hokies
And band together
To fight against the pain

But always remember the love and the laughter
Of the victims who were slain.

Be strong Hokies
And help those families and friends
Who are living through their hell,

Because while you are safe,
You know, that Hokies are family as well.

Be strong Hokies
And never forget
The day the world stopped for you

Because, like so many tragedies,
The rest of your nation will always remember it too.

Be strong Hokies
Your pride is massive
And will smash through this heartbreak.

Just know that you are blessed
And keep this in mind with choices that you make.

Be strong Hokies
And we’ll be strong for you
As you grieve for that fatal day.

Because, over time, the pain may fade
But the memories must stay.

Be strong Hokies
As the time passes
You will make it through somehow.

Look to your family, look to your friends
Because we are all Hokies now.

To those who we lost, rest in peace.
To those who feel lost, be strong and always remember.

Hokie Pride.

With Their Tanks and Their Bombs

2007-03-30T10:09:00.000-04:00

As some of you may know, last month I began doing some contract work for the FBI Academy in Quantico, VA. I was sort of excited about it, but apprehensive to leave my old office. The good thing is that I have the option of going back if I want.

And I totally want!

The FBI is mad boring, peoples. I make copies all day and it sucks. Who needs four years of college to do that? Plus, the commute down here is terrible and it's even worse getting home.

I guess the people who work here are cool, but I miss my friends in DC...that and the other admin is incredibly lazy and gives me all the bitch work. I kind of want to kick her most of the time except that she's really nice. *shrugs*

The one cool thing about being down here is all the explosive devices one can find on a daily basis.

The Marine Corps base is also hear and about three times a week you can hear them testing bombs on site. It shakes the whole building. Awesome.

Also, I park right across the way from the firing ranges, so each morning, I see training agents shooting stuff. It's kind of cool, although I hope nobody ends up going postal one day and deciding it would be a great idea to terrorize the campus.

That, and my car feels threatened by the vicinity in which it is to the guns. Here's to hoping no misfires occur near my baby!

So aside from people blowing crap up all day, this job sort of sucks. I roll my eyes at least ten times each day and it's starting to give me a headache.

I just got to figure some things out before heading back to my original office. And I just got some interesting news that someone in our marketing department is leaving...re-he-heally?

Looks like it's time to start schmoozing!

I Have No Words for American Idol This Week...

2007-03-30T10:06:00.000-04:00

Okay, I lied.

I have many words. Most of them are negative and directed to the little, confused, Indian one.

What.

The.

Fuck?

I'll elaborate in a moment, but really...what the fuck?

On top of his hair absolutely terrifying me, he just plain sucks.

I figure that he had to be good at some point to make it this far, but seriously? Bathwater? Why did you have to eff that up for me manboy?! I love that song, and for the next week I'm going to have your version stuck in my head!

That and you wearing a faux hawk of tiny, tiny ponytails. So thanks...you've ruined my week. And my ears. And my appreciation of my hair straightener. And my banana.

Okay, that last one isn't your fault. My banana is just overly ripe.

But still! I want to slap you around, make you eat a sandwich and take you to a barber stat!

Anyway, I'm done with that. If this little shit doesn't get voted off soon, I'm going to shave my head in protest.

Of course, then I'll look like Phil Stacey, only without the scary eyebrows.

Speaking of Phil (sweet segue!) he was rather good last night. In fact, everyone was rather good. That is, aside from a few notable crash and burns. But, back to Phil. He seems to really be trying hard to make his melodies as good as his big notes and it shows. Team Baldie!

Lakisha, Melinda and Jordin were fantastic as usual, but Lakisha is getting a bit boring and Melinda's schtick about her being all shy and modest is going to get old soon.

Gina was impressive with her song last night and she sort of killed it and sounded awesome. If she keeps up with the big vocals, she'll be a contender for the finals.

Blake was good as always, if not a little boring. Whatever, he's cute and sort of twitches when he sings which make me feel better about twitching on my own time.

Chris Richardson was alright. He has a pretty voice and a prettier face, but I don't know if he's long for this competition. His song choices lately have been boring or a little strange. "Don't Speak" has a lot of difficult middle to high notes that sounded off on a guys voice. Plus, I think he stumbled the words.

I think I'm just mad that I didn't get to sing that shit on AI. I effing love that song.

I'm over Chris Sligh. Yeah he's funny and can sing alright, but his Christian Rock thing and his affinity for lisping while singing is pissing me off. Haley sort of sucks and should never do a slow song again. The girl has great legs though, and hell if she doesn't know it. Short skirts say wha?

Chris S and Haley will be in the bottom two, but if there is any justice in this world, Sanjaya will rid us of his reign of hair don'ts tonight.

A Tooth for a Tooth

2007-03-22T14:58:00.000-04:00

I think that my dentist is out to get me.

No.

Seriously.

A few months ago (September I believe) I went to get my teeth checked out/cleaned. All was well until I was told that I had some cavities.

Shocked and appalled, I felt that they were surely wrong! I brush twice daily, and floss when I feel a desire to. Plus, I've NEVER had a cavity in my life! And I was one of those sugar obsessed children and everything.

Alas, they were right. Not only did I have visible cavities that needed fillings, but everytime I went in for said fillings, the doc found MORE cavities!

Say wha? This wasn't happening to me! It couldn't be! Something must be going seriously wrong here!

I went to see my dentist about thirty million times before I finally had all my teeth good to go.

Fast forward a few months later and I'm having serious tooth pains. So, since I consider myself a doctor, I went on webMD and diagnosed myself with trench mouth.

The Horror!!

I didn't have trench mouth (thank god!) but I did have a pretty severe abscess complete with a dead root and an all around effed up molar. And don't get me started on the PAIN!

Anyway, I had a root canal procedure done, and $1500 (or so) later, I felt much better. Two weeks went by and I went back for the okay to have a crown put on my newly de-rooted tooth. Stupid me, indicates that another tooth was sort of hurting, and lo and behold...I need yet another root canal on a bicuspid.

Greeeaaaat...

Anyway, so far the abscess on that tooth isn't healing and I may need to have the tooth extracted.

Fantastic, my dream of looking like white trash may finally come true.

I went to my general dentist this morning expecting him to turn into Satan or something, but he just said that I will need a crown on the non-healing bicuspid and will likely not need one in the molar. The risk there is that if the filling should break below the gum line, I will lose my tooth.

Effing great. So I either pay an additional $1300 for a crown which I MAY not need, or I hope the filling stays in tact. Hoping is free though, so I guess it has that going for it.

My teeth suck total ass.

On top of being expensive, this shit hurts.

It's creating a huge obstacle in my whole plan to move out and be self-sufficient which also kind of blows.

Thank god for my parents for loving me enough and not throwing me out on the street. However, it is their gene pool that is leading to all of my teeth maladies.

Double edged swords! Why must you taunt me so!

Until next time, here's to hoping my teeth quit trying to jump out of my face.

The Comeback Kids

2007-03-04T19:39:00.000-05:00

At least that's what my mom calls us.

And by us, I mean me and all of the girls I stay in touch with from high school.

The meaning of our new-fangled nickname is simple. We have all graduated from college and are back to living at home. We all have full time jobs and are rather self-sufficient other then our inability to live on our own. So I guess that doesn't make us self-sufficient at all.

Now, for over a year, I felt as though I was all alone in the Comeback Kid world. I had a job, but wasn't making squat for a long time and could barely afford to pay on my loans let alone any form of rent. That's not to mention my car payments, phone payments and the occasional bar tab. Does at least twice a week count as occasional?

Anyway, little did I know, that some old friends from high school were in a very similar situation. I am not alone!

Sure, one of my friends made a go of it on U Street for a few months before imminently moving back again. And another friend is in med school at GW and has her own place, but I figure that doesn't count since she's still in school. It makes no difference to me that she's going to be able to save my life one day.

My question is this: Is this normal? Am I in a bubble where only a select few underacheivers are doing this as the norm? Or could it be that the majority of my graduating class is in the same boat?

Almost everyone I have worked with at my full-time jobs has their own place, but most of these people are from out of town. In a situation like that, you don't have a choice. Of course in my situation, I don't have a choice either.

I'm simply not making enough money. Granted, I will be one day, but until then, am I just burdening my loving family by being horribly average?

With my loans, my car, my phone, and newly acquired hospital and dental bills, I don't see myself moving for awhile. And don't even get me started on the three weddings I am involved in during the latter part of this year.

My delusions of grandeur about saving money keep being pushed aside as time goes on. So what gives? Is this what adult-hood is really all about? I didn't sign up for this.

Unfortunately it seems that this is the case for most people. Scraping each paycheck for bills until you are sucked bone dry and crying in a corner.

I think I need to spend the little money I do have to go hunting for a rich husband. I hear Chris Cooley makes a lot of money, you know, or Jake Gyllenhaal, or you know, Madonna.

Either that, or I need to put my random and limited talents to good use. Write a best-selling book that gets made into an Oscar winning motion picture starring the always lovely and loveable Dame Judi Dench? Maybe. Become a rock star with devoted fans and a large following of meerkat activists? Perhaps. Campaign for Angelina Jolie to adopt me? Why the heck not? Work my way up the corporate ladder and make money on my own? Sure...

Oh who am I kidding? Like that last one is actually feasible.

A Plumber I Ain't

2007-03-04T19:09:00.001-05:00

So, the sink in my house got stopped up today and apparantly, it was easier for me to get under the sink and do the dirty work then my dad.

Fortunately for him, I think I did it all right. I guess we'll find out in a week or so if the sink explodes.

Unfortunately for me, there was a ton of half ground up food that made it's way out of one of the pipes. Nasty say wha? I had the pleasant duty of cleaning it up.

What an unfortunate way to spend an hour.

My dad then tried to convince me that I should be a plumber since they make a lot of money.

No, I'm good. So is my butt crack. I figure enough people probably saw it in college.

I'd rather make the big bucks doing something more fun...like selling myself on the streets of Chinatown. That brings up the butt crack problem again, though.

I guess time will tell, no?

Festivus, For the Rest of Us

2006-12-26T16:43:00.000-05:00

Happy Non-Denominational Holidays everyone!

Being that I have a Jewish mother, and a Christian Father I find it easier to just dump all holidays under one general statement. Granted, I was raised mostly Jewish and consider myself a heeb, we also had a Christmas tree every year and always got together with my mother's predominantly Jewish family on Christmas night for dinner.

Maybe I'm just confused.

Maybe I should move to Canada and just celebrate Boxing Day to ease the conflicting holidays in my mind.

That would be silly though. Who would WANT to move to Canada?

I'm kidding...sort of. At least it's better then Jersey.

Anyway, I'm getting off track.

I just got some cool shit for Christmas/Hannukah.

Eff it. I got some cool shit for Festivus.

My sister got me a Chris Cooley jersey...effing sweet!

I got a hot new watch, some spinning shoes, some D&G Light Blue perfume, some hot boots a la Anne Taylor Loft, a fitness watch that will measure my calories burned during workouts, a handheld Sudoku machine and some other awesome and thoughtful gifts.

Aside from all the goodies, I want to take some time out to talk about family.

Oh super cheesy!!

No really. My family rocks really hard. We've always been tight as hell due to traumatic circumstances and have managed to keep ourselves open and honest with each other. Lately, things have been changing with my brother being engaged and my sister being at school and me fledgling a pseudo-career around.

Thank god for my brother who sat us all down and laid it all out. We were kind of losing each other, and that's not good folks. Not that we weren't as close as we could be, but we had developed bad and stressful habits that were making our lives more difficult then they need to be.

So, this Festivus, we all made resolutions to better ourselves for our sake and each others =)

My first task is to finish my room renovation. Yeah, the room renovation that began here. Granted, my room looks killer and everything, but there's little shit left to do that should have been done months ago. My lazy ass needs to get moving.

So people, get ready for the pictures that I promised here.

This post has essentially no relevance to anything other then the fact that I'm semi-inspired and bored at work. NOBODY is here today!

Which also means that nobody is here to tell me that I can't leave.

Go home early much?

I'm outta here!

Happy Holidays everyone!

They Travel in Packs...cold, bare-legged packs...

2006-12-15T09:12:00.000-05:00

So I was in Philly this past weekend shopping for bridesmaid dresses and drinking heavily. The usual stuff.

So I'm driving into the city, past 30th St. Station and lo and behold...what is it that I see??

Why, three girls (likely freshmen) huddled together on the corner in...wait for it...

Mini-skirts.

UGG boots.

...and down jackets.

My first instinct was to take a picture so that I could look at it and laugh whenever I felt sad or angry.

My next instinct was to yell at them to put on some pants, for the love of God!

But mostly, I just laughed and shook my head and appreciated the fact that I'm not a moron.

I figure that if it's cold enough to need a winter jacket and snow boots, perhaps we should rethink the crotch length attire on our bottom half.

This is what these bitches looked like:

Yeah, I made a cartoon version of these girls...so what?

PUT ON SOME PANTS!!

Oh, and the summer of 2004 called, I couldn't tell you why, but they want their trends back.

Michael Kors MUST be a Genius!

2006-12-13T10:53:00.000-05:00

So, I'm a really pretty girl...

I hate to sound cocky, but it's true and I can't really deny it. I'm obviously fashion oriented and for a plus-sized woman, I wear clothes rather well.

I also make it a point to try to look as put-together as possible when leaving the house. Saturdays and Sundays are the exception on those occasions where I'm pretty sure I might still be drunk, am probably delirious and feel so poorly I could care less that the over sized sweater I'm wearing doesn't quite cover the hole in the ass of my jeans.

Anyway, most days, I think I look pretty hot.

Folks, today I have brought it to a whole new level!

Tonight there is an office party that I will be in attendance at. I wanted to look nice, but not obnoxious, so I paired my swingy black Michael Kors skirt with my kimono half-sleeved read sweater from Ann Taylor Loft. Throw on some black pants and coordinating beads and I'm good to go.

Everyone and their mother keeps telling me how nice/festive/dressy I look.

That's nice and everything, but do I look like a hobo on all other days? It's raining, and my hair looks like blond ass, yet I have had more people compliment me today then ever before.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy attention as much as anyone, but it's a little perplexing.

Especially since I've worn this exact outfit before. In fact, I wore it last week, except I had black pants on instead.

So, I ask this. Mr. Kors, what is it that you do to your clothes that makes them so appealing in the eyes of others?

Oh, and where do you tan? Sorry, I had to ask.

I have concluded that I must go out and buy as many MK pieces as possible to look as good as I do now...go everyone! Shop freely!

I have also concluded that I'm going to be one hot bitch at this party...here's to hoping I keep it sober enough to refrain from dancing on tables. And that tomorrow won't be a holy-ass-big-sweater day;)

It's ALL About the Haircut!

2006-11-06T14:45:00.000-05:00

Aaaaannnndddd...he's back!

And by him, I mean Chris Cooley.

And by back, I mean better then ever!

Captain Chaos is back, scoring points and generally making the Dallas Cowboys look like a bunch pansy-assed rookies.

And that friends...is my kind of man.

As you may recall, I went on a bit of a rant that Chris was in DIRE need of a haircut.

Well the football gods have smiled upon us all as he has shorn his fro and is back to being a football Adonis. His playing has improved vastly over the past couple of weeks and I am absolutely positive that it is all due to the much needed haircut.

I mean, I'm really not, but my reasoning behind him needing a haircut in the first place is so he could see better and thus, play better.

Was I right?

Aren't I always? ;)

With one touchdown and several good plays under his belt, during the ridiculous win over the Cowboys, I can safely assume that Chris Cooley is back in action. Granted, he effed up a play, but at least Brunell was getting him the ball.

And the last five minutes of that game were the most exciting I've seen in years. Literally, I was screaming at the television and I think I want to marry Troy Vincent.

However, if I did marry him, I would totally cheat on him with Cooley. Because in reality, if Chris hadn't made that insane touchdown, it wouldn't have mattered anyway.

I'm in love people. (not really, but shhhh...don't tell)

The more I see, hear and read about Chris Cooley, the more I like the guy. He's not an asshole like so many young NFL players can be *cough*TO*cough*JeremyShockey*cough*TonyRomo*Cough*

On top of the fantabulous hair cut, he's a cool dude and totally sexy in a no-neck, beer chugging sort of way. Plus, he has dogs.

He interviews on the radio station I listen to, and I feel like he said he has a Yorkie and a Great Dane. How hot is that? A little dog and a monster. I love it.

I have high hopes that this insane win will spark some fire under the 'Skins tooties and we can keep up some sort of winning streak.

So, while I don't have photographic proof of the haircut (but I know it's there, because I saw it with my own eyes) I will leave you with this...

Because, as well all know...a partially undressed Cooley is my favorite kind ;)

"Get the Kid Ready!" - Project Runway 3, Finale Part 2

2006-10-30T12:24:00.000-05:00

So I went to a finale viewing party, not themed or anything, but fun and wine-filled nonetheless!
I went into this loving Jeffrey's collection per the images I had already seen and hating Michael's. Not much changed my mind during the actual episode and I was surprised to be in total agreement with the judges choices and their order.

I'm not even going to try to get into each and every garment, because frankly, I don't have time. Being busy takes a toll on your blog...stupid job and having to make a living.

And also, sorry so late! After the finale, I went home and went to bed, worked out the next day and packed. I spent the weekend drinking my face off for Virginia Tech's homecoming game and on Monday I started my new job. I spent all of last week adjusting to being a functioning member of society once again and spent this past weekend in Philly for a Halloween party. I was the fashion police and I looked awesome.

Anyway, so it's Monday and I'm at the front desk at work, and am risking some blog time during my hour.

Lets start with poor, young, mis-guided Michael. Now, I firmly believe that he does much better with guidelines. He's still young, and much like Daniel V. from last season, he triumphed during challenges and faltered when left to his own devices.

We should have known this would happen when it took him several hours to make a decision on a sub-par design in the challenge where they could do whatever they wanted.

But at least these are better then that purple dress...as hot as it was, it lacked originality.

Unfortunately for the fan favorite, these designs lack a bit of taste.

I don't want to go there and call them trashy, because they really aren't. There just wasn't a lot of continuity or diversity to his designs.

The above shot is four above the knee designs with a lot of cleavage showing. And killer shoes.

That's how most of the show went for Michael.

Even his long items showed a LOT of skin. And seriously...would it freaking KILL Clarissa to smile!

I think the leopard that inspired this print jumped up her ass.

Anyway, Michael's lack of experience as a designer and unfocused collection did him in.

The gold lame patches didn't help though.

Lets move on to Laura...

I liked the collection a lot more then I thought I would and on TV most of the pieces were absolutely breathtaking.

She knew that to win this she had to show more range and I admire her for essentially sticking to her aesthetic. I think she knew she wasn't going to take it and didn't attempt to foray into sportswear. She kept the collection true to herself and like the diva she is, she rocked it out.

I think the second dress in the pic above was one of my favorite pieces from the whole show. And those shoes?? SO FIERCE!! Plus, she made sequin hot pants look sort of wearable and not totally fug. And the satin jacket with it? So elegant. Hot pants are elegant people!

Plus, she is a really cute pregnant lady.

Stunning. This dress was stunning. It reminded me of Andrae's Gutter Water Dress and the little yellowish punch of color totally works.

So I knew Laura wouldn't win. She's lots of things, but versatile isn't one of them. I do hope she keeps designing though, because homegirl can ROCK a cocktail dress.

Uli's collection vas vonderful!

Okay, enough of that. Seeing Uli's collection in images did it no justice. The queen of prints censored herself quite a bit and created a collection that was half silver/beige. Seeing it in motion really emphasized how well structured the garments were.

And that first dress? Smokin' hot.

The tan and silver really worked well together and mixing the signature prints in really made the collection seem less chaotic then it could have been. And the shoes are hot to death.

Ahhh...jungle love.

It's a total signature Uli piece, but shit, I'd rock it.

Uli's whole time on this show has been fantastic to watch. She's a sweet person with a crazy design aesthetic that totally works. Miami Fever baby!!

And her way of letting everyone backstage know that Jeffery had taken the crown was SO classy.

"Get the kid ready." I nearly cried. I blame the Pinot.

Jeffrey deserved the win. Yes he might be a bit of an asshole, but who doesn't love an asshole?

Yeah, that still doesn't make any sense...even after typing it out.

J's collection was innovative and really unique. It was versatile but it flowed well. The use of repeating patterns was perfection and the zipper detailing was just plain cool.

And I COVET that green and white striped jacket! COVET I tell you!

The stripes and polka dots added a whimsical feel while the skinny pants and cuts kept the designs really modern.

Congrats Jeffrey!

I covet this too. Like really hard. And seeing him with his baby boy was the sweetest thing.

I do want to bring up the fact that we haven't had an OFW quite like season one. Not to tarnish Jeffrey's win (like he gives two shits) but I want another Jay McCarroll! Jay's FW collection was out of this world awesome and I hope that season 4 will bring us more designers willing to take risks. This season was better then last, but nobody has quite brought it the way Jay did during Season One.

So Season Four contestants...bring it on!

Until then, Love Ya! Mean It! And as always, Auf Wiedersehn ;)

Drawn Out Drama - Project Runway 3, Finale Part 1

2006-10-12T11:53:00.000-04:00

Drama, drama, drama.

It's week one of the finale and thankfully most of the clothes look hot as hell.

We'll get to that in a minute though.

The designers are given two months and a shit ton of money to make a collection for Bryant Park.

Ready?? Go!!

Jeffrey's all "Peace bitches, I'm going to win this!"

Tim gets to visit all of the contestants at home to see how they are doing.

He also get to pretend he enjoys driving around the country in an itty-bitty Saturn.

This car is seriously tiny. When he got out of it, I thought it looked like a toy.

Oh well, I'd totally still drive it, so why am I hating?

Tim visits Michael first in Atlanta...

Michael's family is adorable!

Tim was slightly concerned about Michael's lack of continuity for his collection as well as all of the blingy elements.

Kayne say wha?

It's all good though, because Tim got some good ol' Southern cooking in Hotlanta.

One of these things is not like the other?

They even made him sit in a different kind of chair...lol

Looks like fun though. Southern cooking is the shit.

Tim probably took like 5 spinning classes to burn off the calories...lol

Next, Tim hit's NYC to visit Laura's sweet ass house...

...and her matronlyish collection.

I can't even lie though, I kind of want that long green jacket.

Matronly or not, I'd rock that shit.

Tim tells Laura to make it more youthful...duh.

But seriously, how great were Laura's kids?! Turtle poop and hand shakes all around!

They are too cute, and she's having a fifth boy and sixth kid total...INSANE!

Her husband kind of looks like Albert Einstein.

I dig it.

Uli and her Miami hotness is next.

Gorgeous, no?

I want to live in Uli's apartment when I grow up. For serious.

It's beautiful...and so were her designs.

I really like all of the prints mixed with the harshness of the bone closures.

Too cool and I can't wait to see them all in motion.

I've never seen Tim so casual! He should take his shoes off more often ;)

Tim heads to LA next to see Jeffrey and his family.

Holy crap! Harrison Detroit is the cutest!

The curly blonde hair? So precious!

Tim and Jeff hop into the Runway-mobile to check out Jeffrey's big ass studio.

I LOVE this dress!

I loved it when I saw the pics from Bryant Park, but had no clue the detailing was zippers.

It's beautiful and creative and I love it.

Jeffrey has made me a believer. No...really.

The designers converge back in NYC at Flatotel to wait it out for Fashion Week, model pick and tweak any last minute issues.

The model picking was cool...hey Amanda!

Jeffrey's idea to use wigs was a good one. A lot of established designers do this or use similar techniques to focus more on the clothes.

Now...onto the mad drama.

Laura thinks Jeffrey had help sewing his garments and brings the issue up with Tim.

If you didn't know this, too bad. Now you do.

Tim will look into the issue and we have to wait until next week to find out what actually happened.

I think that if you are a talented sewer, then it's completely possible to make a whole, perfect collection in two months. Plus, he was nearly done when Tim visited, but what do I know?

We will know more next week. Or something.

I think that Jeffrey has the most creative and cohesive collection as far as I can tell at this point, but is it his or not and will it really matter in the long run? Michael's been set to take this whole thing since day one.

Waiting to see the designs in motion.

Until then, save the drama for your mama ;)

Love Ya! Mean It! Have a Good Day! - Project Runway 3, Episode Reunion

2006-10-09T15:00:00.000-04:00

I had high hopes for the reunion episode, I really really did.

Do we recall last year's reunion episode?

It was sheer perfection! Of course we had more fabulous characters, like Andrae, Nick and Santino.

So this year wasn't as good, but it wasn't all bad. Some parts were just totally awkward!

Exhibit 1:

"I was like..." "And then I was like..." "And THEN I was like..."

Why didn't you chase the bitch down Bonnie...huh?!

It's like her brain quit half way through each thought. Whatev...

Exhibit 2:

"Uncomfortable, isn't it?"

Oh, Jude. You just have that affect on people.

I'm not even getting into the whole did he or didn't he get the books back for drama. Who gives two shits?

The guy is clearly a talented designer, so I say "Keith! Quit your bitching and starting designing again. We'd love to see you at the next fashion week, so hop to it Jude-Lite!"

And lastly, but not leastly...

Exhibit 3:

I mean really. WTF, mate?

Vincent is officially bat shit crazy.

He was the Lupe of this season's reunion epi. Congrats Vincent! You are nuts, kind of scary and REALLY hard to understand sometimes. Unfortch, you get nothing for this...so just go be "turned on" elsewhere.

Alison looks the exact same. Cute as ever.

The unicorns are smiling again. As am I. She's kind of fantastic.

So, Robert is boring according to one of our montages.

Fa' real?! Why the producers chose this is beyond me. I mean, I get the "Serious ugly" and the incomprehensible Bradley noises. But why show someone who we knew was boring back when the judges stated it over and over and over again.

Dead horse, meet several uneccesary beatings.

I kind of love Robert though. I can't hate.

But Laura can!

I love her. I do. I like want to be her when I grow up!

And "Serious ugly" is totally useable on a day-to-day basis.

She's fabulous. Fabulously glamorous be dammed! She's just straight up fabulous.

I heart Bad Mommy.

I also heart Malan...a lot!

He's kind of fantastic. I hate that I thought he was evil for awhile. Damn you Powers That Be!

But really. His laugh is kind of villianous.

The montage was totally creepy yet really endearing all at the same time.

I'm glad he got to show at fashion week. Jude could take a tip or two from our favorite Taiwanese =)

Bradley is the proud winner of the John Wade award for best transformation.

He was always hippy, trippy cute to me, but now Bradley is sort of smokin'.

Go ahead honey.

Angela is back and still angry at Jeffrey.

Who didn't see this coming, though?

She's just seething with anger. And pointing.

Still pretty though.

Jeffrey is sort of irreverent as usual.

That was a total Tim Gunn word. Those clips were pretty outstanding.

God, I'm on fire with my segues today!

I miss Kayne. Vincent brought him up as someone he thought would be at Fashion Week. You and me both Crazy Vincent. You and me both.

Let's get down to business. Michael is the shit.

He got braces and still looks cool!

Of course, I thought it was a grill at first.

But braces making a lot more sense considering his mildly jacked up teeth.

And now Michael can pay for his braces by being our fan favorite!

Don't you love how they future dated the giant, fake check for the date the show airs. Bravo is genius I tell you.

Michael Kors and Nina brought the check out, and I might be crazy...

But doesn't it look like Nina doesn't want to get anywhere near this giant check?

She's all like "Cardboard? Please, I only touch silk, satin and velvet...bitches."

Anycrap. We're onto our Fashion Week episodes and I can't wait to see it all in motion!

Who's gonna win? No idea over here. Everyone kind of rocks in their own way, so it'll be nice to see how the competition heats up.

Until then...see you on the runway ;)

File Under Skanky Ho

2006-10-08T17:28:00.000-04:00

So I was at Macy's the other day with my mom.

We were in the juniors department shopping for my sister who, although 21, is a tall skinny twig built for those kinds of clothes. Plus, she's still doing the whole cazsh college thing.

Anyway, I walk by a 4-way of skirts, pants and blazers and notice how impossibly short the skirts are.

I'm talking booty watching short.

And then I read the sign attached to the 4-way and it says "Career Wear".

Whose career?!

The only career I see in those skirts is pole dancing, simulated child pornography and professional daddy issues.

It was something like this:

I wish I were kidding. The online descriptions for this particular skirts is as follows:

"Mix it up in this fresh new take on the classic plaid mini. Bias plaid with knife pleats at each side. Front scoop pockets. Back patch pockets. Unlined. Hits at midthigh."

Whose midthigh??

That's mid-tootie as far as I'm concerned.

And there are pockets? My pockets on my pants are made of more fabric then this whole outfit.

They keep breeding them smaller and smaller...

I blame scientology.

Hail to the Barbershop!

2006-10-03T14:14:00.000-04:00

I am a rabid Redskins fan. Always have been, always will be.

I spent most of Yom Kippur services the other night checking the score on my cell phone.

Yes, this makes me a bad jew, but it makes me a REALLY good fan of the Redskins! I took a bitchy glare from some snobby Jewish mother for this shit. Mind your business lady.

Anyway, last season we saw some outstanding players emerge, especially on our offense. One of these players is Chris Cooley, a tight end only a couple of months older then me.

I still live at home and am "in between jobs" right now. I have a lot of respect for someone who has this much success at a young age.

On top of all of these things, Mr. Cooley is sort of sexy.

Yeah, he's got the football player, no-neck, thing going on, but never the less, still sexy.

See? Hot, right?

Plus he's a good ball player, and has already dealt with a cheerleader/wife scandal in his young career. Turns out he's also a good sport about jokes regarding said scandal. A local radio station had one of the girls involved with Cooley on to talk about what happened and the story blew out of proportion and the station got a lot of mileage out of jokes at Cooley's expense.

This season, however, Cooley is providing commentary on each 'Skins game every week. A big move for a big man.

All of this aside, I have an issue with him. He has decided it would be a fantastic idea to grow his hair out.

Oh folks, this is nothing.

As you can see, Chris Cooley has very curly hair. A Jew Fro if you will. Probably not Jewish, but irregardless.

See how it grows out instead of down?

My brother tried to do this in high school when all of the other boys were growing their hair out in the mid 90's. The problem was that my brother is the proud owner of a Jew Fro and the hair grew out. And oh, did it grow! He looked like Sideshow Bob in his class picture that year.

No, really...

Now, you probably think that this story has nothing to do with Chris Cooley, but you would be wrong....

This is the picture of Cooley from this season's team roster.

Not okay...I laughed...really.

At first, I thought that he was trying to emulate Jeremy Shockey.

Of course there are other ways to emulate Shockey. You know, you could traipse around town with Tara Reid or talk shit about your coaching staff.

But since Cooley isn't doing any of these things, I am starting to think he forgot where his barber is located or owns no mirrors.

I have no idea. I do think that all of the hair is messing with his game, because he hasn't been having a huge season yet. Come back to use Chris! We miss you and want you back!

Take a shower, cut the fro, score some mad touchdowns and lets take this season to the end!

Don't get me wrong though, I'd still hit it.

Yeah...I really, really would.

ps- is that Adam Archuleta behind him?? He deserves a whole different post ;)

And Then There Were 4...Again - Project Runway 3, Episode 11

2006-10-03T12:41:00.000-04:00

At least there were no fleurchons this time around.

And I didn't have to deal with the heartache of Kayne being booted a second time.

But was this essentially the same episode? Does it matter?

We're puppets on the Bravo string cuz we will watch this shit no matter what!

Yeah, I admit it.

I'm also admitting my newfound affection for Jeffrey.

I know, it's super exciting.

After looking at the fashion week collections, his was my favorite. Yeah, there's controversy, but it was still the most versatile and current collection in my opinion.

Sure he's still a total dick, but he also doesn't try not to be.

I also think I'm the only person that didn't hate his design this episode.

Where have we heard this before? Oh yeah...me talking about Kayne in almost every episode!

Am I going through Kayne withdrawl and taking it out in the form of Jeffrey?!

No...that's really not the case. I've just been on a rollercoaster ride with Jeffrey this season. At first, I was intrigued by the whole rock star thing and he kind of, sort of, a little bit looks like this guy I used to sort of, kind of, not really date but just "hung out" with during college. Then he was mediocre in the first challenges, then he became Captain A-Hole, then he sort of made a couple of cool garments while going at it with Bad Mommy (and while that's a bit of a dangerous notion, cuz Bad Mommy will cut you in half with a mild glare, it gets a tiny bit of strange respect from me), then he did the couture thing which almost made up for his crotch bedazzles, then he had 15-year olds everywhere thinking leather knee highs were hot shit and that's never good, but then I kind of fell in love with his final collection.

Plus, this...

...is ALWAYS fun and kind of endearing.

So aside from it being a total run-on sentence, I think I might be on Team Jeffrey.

Of course I'm also on Team Laura.

Laura is hot shit, there's no doubt.

And she's rocking a BPR tank, which had me completely geeking out at the TV.

But onto more important things...

During model choosing, Uli totally ganked Nazri from Michael...unfortch there were no walk-offs.

There were plenty of open-mouthed gawks though.

Oi...I miss Andrae right now!

You can tell Lindsay totally knows she's screwed.

Uli apologizes as Lindsay gets the boot and receives this...

I can FEEL the hate in this shot...it's fantastic!

Thank goodness Michael didn't totally break down a la Nick and carried on with Clarrissa.

I miss Nick.

Anyway, the designers hit Elle Magazine to hear about their challenge.

Using three words to describe their design aesthetic, they are to design a garment of their choosing.

I can't lie, I got excited...I wanted to see what everyone would do with no restrictions. I am but a foolish viewer though.

30 min to sketch, $250 for supplies. No stupid ass rules about using all the material.

Plus, the winner gets to have their look photographed for Elle's LOOK page by world renowed photographer Gilles Bensimon, a $100,000 contract with Wilhemina Models and a Cover Girl contract.

Dammit...I'm crossing shows again.

The designers also have to take pictures of their looks for a page with their words, which cuts their design time significantly.

Holy god, I love Uli.

And her picture of Nazri was hot.

It looks pretty editorial and you know those kids all had nice dreams that night. Team Uli!

I was also a fan of the shot that Jeffrey took of his model on the rickshaw. I couldn't find a pic though.

Clarissa looks like a bitch.

Yeah, maybe she hated the dress, but she kind of looks like this all the time. Check past episodes...she's mining diamonds in her ass or something.

Smile bitch...Michael kept you in this shit!

So the designers chose three words for their collections and I can't remember any of them. I could look them up, but I don't want to. Naturally, I'll make up my own.

Uli won the challenge, so she's up first.

Hippy, Trippy and Fro

Jeffrey:

Patriotic, Potato Sack, Velour

Laura:

Clavicle, Itty Bitty Titties, Fabulously Glamorous

And finally, Michael:

Booty, booty, booty

Smile bitch!

It was down to Michael and Jeffrey, and I didn't think there was any way they'd boot Jeffrey, so I was getting all upset for Michael.

I thought they were going to dump him right before OFW and that was not okay since I've been on Team Michael since his coffee filter dress.

Then the sneaky ass producers kept everyone for fashion week...

...and there was much rejoicing.

Look, even Jeffrey and Bad Mommy are getting along!
So much love...it warms my heart.

Yeah, I know I said I'm on everyone's "Team" this recap. Because I am. I'm stumped as to who will win this thing.

Now that Kayne is gone, everyone is my favorite. So there Bravo!

I'm not picking a favorite...and you can't make me.

I'm like a five year old right now.

Next week we have the reunion...I hope the cosmos are flowing as much as last year...or at least give Bonnie some narcotics so that a totally non-threatening player on the show turns bat-shit crazy by episode end ;)

God I miss Lupe.

Black and White and Fug All Over - Project Runway, Episode 10

2006-09-17T21:35:00.000-04:00

AKA: The Return of the Fleurchon (Fleurchamp)

wait, we're not in paris anymore? Okay...Fleurchon!

Oh, no!

The producers went THERE!

We all knew that special guests were on their way for this episode for some party and in past seasons we've had such "guests" as a Hilton, past season contestants, judges and Iman. Aside from Iman all of these guests were rather disappointing to viewers.

And this time is absolutely no exception!

Our designers wait in anticipation...

And lo and behold...

Our special guests are...

Angela looks how I felt. Are you serious? So challenge winners get to come back...whatever. There's a reason they were booted in the first place.

It's cuz they kind of suck...no really.

So here are some reactions to our fun, special guest (but not guests, just special) news:

Oh Jeffrey...so typical with your open-mouthed amusement...

I completely heart Laura!

And THIS friends is why I'm a total hag for Kayne...loves it!

So Angela and Vincent are back. That's special.

And our designers are going to be designing a cocktail dress in ONLY black and white. They have to use both non-colors.

Oh, and they must use ALL of the fabric bought at Mood.

Are you serious? I mean really. I've designed before and made plenty of clothes. Using all of your fabric is impossible. You are supposed to buy too much because if you buy too little you're fucked.

Too much gives you room for error. Too much gives you room to cut and perhaps in situations...cut wrong.

Too much is also the MEANEST rule PR has ever had! Incorporating scraps and the rest of your fabric would be the largest pain in the ass there has ever been. Ugh...so harsh.

Anycrap...

Angela and Vincent have to win the challenge to remain in the competition. Blah blah blah, neither of them win because both dresses are mad fug.

The collar was fine and all...for Queen Elizabeth. Unfortch, she's not the guest judge. Zac Posen is...whom I LOOOOOVEEEE!

Fa real?

It's a tube top and an ill-fitting skirt. My dog could have sewn this shit.

I can't even lie though. Angela's idea of putting scraps into the bag was kind of genius.

I know they gave her a bunch of shit for it, but I would have done the same damn thing.

Ugh...worst challenge idea ever.

In other scrap using news...

Uli made the longest hippy dippy necklace known to man.

Tim is straight up like "Burn it now"

But I can't even lie, the dress was hot shit.

It's very Uli, but I kind of dig Uli so I can't hate. I like it.

Jeffrey's model looked like a "Lady of the Night?"

Okay, that's putting it mildly.

She looked like a 14 year-old street ho with major daddy issues, a crack habit, some strange pleather fixation and I think she might be blind in one eye.

And half-blind in the other.

She sort of hot though...what's wrong with me?!

Okay, so I love Michael, and I know he claims to not be gay...

...but I have purse linings suspiciously similar to his blazer.

Things that make you go hmmmmm...

In other news, I love his designs. Oh wait...that's old news.

SO hot! The dress was young and I want it in every color. VERY cocktail party and so chic. Plus, the belt was feirce!

But the big winner was Laura.

FINALLY! Laura has been making the same dress every week. Granted it's fantastic and her attitude makes it even more so, but I was getting bored.

So here we have a black and white knee length dress, but hark! What's that I see?! No plunging v-neck! The angels have smiled upon us folks.

I really didn't think they'd let Laura make fashion week due to her pregnancy. Chloe could barely make it through last season with the help of a bunch of family members. So how would Laura do it all with a baby in her belly?

Oh well, the producers thought she could do it so my baby Kayne got the boot.

NOOOOOOOO!

Okay, that's done with, I got it out of my system.

The dress was FANTASTIC from the front, but the back?

Ew?

It's not that bad, but it's pretty bad. Not as bad as Jeffrey's confused teenage street walker outfit, but I'm not one of the judges.

Where's the white? He could have done a wide white belt or a full white back and been the Yin to Michael's Yang. But instead, he used my old shoelaces to tie together the back.

Plus, I hate his logo tee/pin-stiped pants combo.

Kayne, what's that?

Seriously.

So we have our final four.

Already?!

Uli, Jeffrey, Laura and Michael are still in this shit. If Michael doesn't win, someone should check the planet alignment or something.

Granted, I haven't really looked at the collections yet, but I will...I PROMISE!

Tomorrow we figure out our final three, and then it's reunion time. And if it's anything like last years reunion, there will be LOTS to blog about!

Auf Wiedersehn bitches =)

Not So Haute Couture - Project Runway 3, Episode 9

2006-09-13T17:12:00.000-04:00

Ew.

Vincent is gross.

I'm glad he's gone.

Ew.

But seriously, I could have done without any more "It gets me off"s and "Turns me on"s...doesn't this show have a censor button?

Eggs are gross too. Sucks to be Michael's dress.

You know what else is gross? The total LACK of couture in this couture challenge.

It makes me wince a little to say it, but Jeffrey's odd choice of fabric and layered pieces absolutely deserved this win.

And I'm only wincing because he's an asshole.

When I think of couture, I think haute couture which makes me think extravagance in fashion. I think wearable art which isn't meant to be worn.

I even wikipedia'd it and all I got as a fashion entry was "Haute Couture" and this is the essence of it all.

Anyway, wiki says nothing about unwearability, but in all of my fashion classes, that's the gist I got.

Irregardless, I didn't feel much high fashion in this episode, and that's never a good thing...

Jeffrey's was hot though, hands down.

Had he used another fabric it might not have worked, but props for going a little prep-punk and pulling it off.

Too many P's...

An example of something that worked exactly the opposite?

The poofed out collar was fucking fantastic. It created such a neat line and provided huge interest. However, it being black and long and with the ever present v-neck, the dress ended up looking old and totally mime-ish.

I mean really...tell me I'm wrong.

In other news, when did Bad Mommy pop?

Did I miss like a month of this show??

Uli's and Michael's dresses were beautiful, but not couture. Hooray for hand sewn hems and all, but they were both very blah.

Except Michael's bunny ears...those were hot.

So is Nazri for that matter.

But, no worries.

Vincent made it easy for everyone else to stay in the game with an elderly looking dress made of couch upholstery, complete with a fleurchamp...no seriously.

How funny is that sign? She might be off the grid, but Holly Hobbie is there in spirit.

My hands down favorite was Kayne's though.

I know, I know. I'm a total hag for the guy, but I seriously can't help it. I kind of love him and I genuinely like most of his designs.

Including this one...so bite me.

The skirt is absolute perfection! So beautiful. Not couture persay, but gorgeous nonetheless.

And I have no problem with the fact that I'm the only person who actually liked the bodice.

The lacing and fabric detailing was hot.

So goodbye Vincent. You make me cringe, but I can't even lie about your entertainment value.

One last note.

I want to be Catherine Malandrino when I grow up.

Fleurchons On My Ass - Project Runway 3, Episode 8

2006-09-13T15:33:00.000-04:00

*sigh*

Goodbye Angela. I guess we'll never see you fully "on the grid".

But HELLO Paris!

And hello Catherine Malandrino. Her complete bitchery is SO welcome with our lack of Michael Kors early in the season. Loves it!

Anyway, I've been insanely busy at work and doing crap on the weekend that my blog has taken a hit in the posting department.

Sorry to anyone who actually reads it!

Babies, Mamas and Drama - Project Runway 3, Episode 7

2006-08-27T14:47:00.000-04:00

Wow, Jeffrey is an asshole.

Sorry this is so late, bitches! It's gonna be hella short too. It's Wednesday, it's almost 2pm and all I've got is that Jeffrey's an asshole.

Duh.

Anyway, I'm hella busy this week. Too busy to blog. Here's the gist of it all though!

Jeffey's still an asshole.

Laura is going to pop out another kid and "throw it on the pile". That's hot.

Kayne used to be fat...shut up!

Vincent treats foreign people like they are two years old. How did he even win? Mama Uli looked hella paunchy in that thing. Not so flattering.

Uli should have won. Her use of patterns is phenomenal.

Robert went home. Apparently he can only design for little plastic dolls and Isaac Mizrahi...makes sense to me.

I'm shocked Angela didn't totally round house kick Jeffrey in the gonads...cuz if anyone ever talked to my mom like that. Forget about it...you better hope you don't want any more kids cuz after I'm done with you...

So that's a recap of my recap with, sadly, no pictures.

Probably going to have another week like this, this week, but we'll see.

Here's to hoping Angela's grows a pair and nails Jeffrey in his...

Somewhere, Unicorns Are Sobbing... Season 3 - Episode 6

2006-08-17T10:31:00.000-04:00

...a Care Bear is sitting silently in a dark room...

...and a rainbow has just crumbled to the ground.

See?!

Do ya see?!

Look what you've done, Klum!

The most adorable and sweetest designer in Project Runway history is gone because Vincent's cringe-inducing love toward his designs makes for good television.

For shame.

Okay, I'm done...I think...

Our designers challenge was completely trashy, har har.

But seriously...who wants to wade through other peoples garbage for fashion? Fortunately for viewers the majority of the designs looked pretty good.

Someone's trash is another person's cocktail dress...or something.

So Tim wakes the designers up at 5am and we saw everyone looking ten kinds of tired and all "Get that camera out of my face"

Laura was wearing pajamas...you mean she doesn't wear cocktail dresses and riding boots to bed?

Well, she DID wear the riding boots (not to mention the rest of the riding outift) to the recycling plant.

Alison says something along the lines of "It's a good thing you brought that in case its horses."

I mean...not quite, but that's probably the most casual thing Laura brought with her.

So they enter Jersey where horses and trash inter-mingle, Laura says something nasty about The Garden State and I nod in agreement...sorry Jersey lovers.

Tim shows them this warehouse and the designers are all "Where are we?" I guess the smell didn't indicate they'd be wading through nastiness.

The designers are given proctective gear to wear...just in case paper falls on them.

But I can't even front. Tim looks totally cute in his kicky yellow contruction hat.

They also get $25 to make the trash look pretty.

Pretty trashy?

It's just too easy this time...

Anyway, Bad Mommy Laura turned the bitch switch up to full volume this week. I heard this rumor, that if you stare directly into her eyes, you'll have a seizure.

I can't be sure...it's just what I hear.

While on the subject of Laura, I can't help but discuss Robert and Kayne's queenie meal break where they totally broke her down.

While I think talking about people behind their back is a tad on the wrong side (don't get me wrong, I do it...but I feel bad after...and I'm also not on national TV) I think it's cool that they are so "feh" about her mannerisms.

I feel like Laura could make you cry with one sentence or shudder just by looking at you critically. Jeffrey's clearly affected by her (or the stick up his ass) and I think Angela might be terrified of her.

Seeing Robert and Kayne so comical made it seem okay that her blood is laced with ice.

And nuts.

And low cut, v-neck dresses, in non-threatening colors that hit just above your knee.

While I have to give her props for doing the whole "For Nuts Only" on the back (not to mention pretending to beatbox with Michael, despite the fact that she probably has negative rhythm) this looks oddly familiar...

Oh that's right! It's because you designed the same dress that you have on!

This picture looks like some weird, side-by-side comparison illusion, where the people are actually the exact same, but the colors are completely inverted.

I love Bad Mommy and she makes for great tv, but her designs are hella boring. She needs to step up.

In other news, Jeffrey is the only designer who deserves to be in this competition.

At least in Jeffrey's mind. For someone whose chin and neck kind of blend together he's awfully critical of other people. Maybe that's why he got the tattoos...so people could see the difference.

At least he didn't do that quacking shit again. That was fucking annoying.

Jeffrey's bitching wasn't for naught however, as he ALMOST won another challenge.

Maybe if her weren't such an asshole, I could feel bad for his thiscloseness. His models shoes were hot though, and he used my school colors, so I can't be all mad.

Tim sort of torked me off this week when he called Alison's model "zaftig".

zaf·tig or zof·tig (zäftk, -tg)
adj.
1. Full-bosomed.
2. Having a full, shapely figure.
3. Deliciously plump, or carrying your extra weight very well.

Alison's model is many things...

..."zaftig" is not one of them.

I am zaftig. I'm 5'9" and wear a size 14 or 16. I carry my weight well and always feel good about myself.

Alexandra is not zaftig.

Okay, maybe this dress is a little balloony...or bubbly...for the love of GOD! Why so many bubble SKIRTS!

Anyway, I usually think Tim speaks the gospel about everything, but I have to way disagree with that.

I also have to disagree with the advice he gave to Kayne.

I think I'm the only person who watched the show this week that actually liked Kayne's first skirt. Granted, it was essentially just a ball gown skirt with a giant flower painted on it and green tipped bottle tops, but the flower was really really pretty.

Instead, Kayne used Mylar and instead of having it look as though a "toad exploded all over her" she looked like a cracked out Tinkerbell walking the mean streets of Neverland.

Give this chick some glitter wings and fairy dust and she can go around spreading std's and poorly laced drugs to everyone in NYC. Maybe that's why Nina and Michael are always so snarky.

My bad...sorry Tink.

Speaking of Michael, Kayne's toad comment totally had me flashing back to "It looks like...like a baboon's ass exploded all over her backside!" Which Michael technically never said, but I figure spot-on impressions kind of work like osmosis.

I'm also pretty sure I'm the only one that actually liked the hair and makeup and thought it added to the design, crazy as it was.

Good thing for Kayne he told the truth that he messed up and saved himself. That's good, since I kind of love him.

And the Other Designers Who Used Mylar Better Than Kayne award goes to...

Robert

Uli

and Angela.

Congrats bitches, you made Bradley's disasterous foil from last week look kind of hot. Doesn't Angela's model look a little "Take me to you leader" in that picture?

Yeah, she looks all kinds of alien here.

Vincent's ass should have been out this week. The made an ugly tube dress and threw shit on it. Then he got mad creepy and started saying things about how it made it feel.

I'm not going there.

It's scares me.

It's fucking hideous.

It looks like Jackson Pollack for drunk and booted all over it.

Plus it looks really difficult to walk in. Laura noticed this as well and completely loses her shit after Alison is aufed and goes after Vincent like my dog chases tennis balls. She starts verbally wailing on him and he tells her to shove some Harry Winstons up her nose, which is funny because she's fucking rolling in it.

She also got all up in Kayne's grill prior to the runway and Kayne's reaction was pretty hot as he explained that he wouldn't be berated on television. Bad Mommy needs a nap.

Michael wins again!

Unfortch, he got overshadowed by all the whickety drama going on.

The use of the plastic tarp as a chic wrap was genius though! And good job using that accessories wall to it's fullest.

So Alison is gone and we won't be able to see her sweet face any longer.

It's sad.

Come out of the dark TenderHeart Bear. We'll see Alison again soon.

I will try to leave you with some funny.

Doesn't Robert look like he's posing for a phone sex advertisement in this picture?

I bet his whiny lisp really rakes in the dough...

Just call 1-900-DISCO-BALL.

And before you do ANYTHING else today, go here and check out Rich's Fleurchon/Vagina argument caps. Even if you've seen it before it's still funny as shit. I've read it like five times.

So next week is a mystery...unless BPRers can figure it out...you know we're like bloodhounds for this show!

Don't forget to support Robert in his night job!

Do You Believe in Life After...Runway? Season 3- Episode 5

2006-08-10T11:50:00.000-04:00

I was thinking about calling this post "Bye Bye Bradley" and doing a whole "Bye Bye Birdie" thing, complete with new lyrics to the song and shit...then I realized I was way too lazy.

Plus, when I started looking for pictures of Cher, I realized how amazingly high-fashion she was, is and always will be. So I ask this question...What the hell Bradley?!

How can anyone in the design industry not be familiar with at least ONE of Cher's looks to recreate?

And on top of that, he didn't ONCE mention the name of the fabulous and fierce Bob Mackie.

Clearly, our dear Bradley was not familiar with Cher and her mulititudes of style.

My absolute favorite looks she had were during the Sonny and Cher days. The stunning long black hair and killer outfits by the one and only Mr. Mackie...shut the eff up!

Now, as much as I heart Bradley, his misknowledge of the fantastic Cher had me in total agreement with his aufing.

This is what our dear Bradley came up with...

Why couldn't Bradley have drawn inspiration from one of these fabulous looks?

He COULD have sent his model down naked according to Cher's past fashions...

Which I could have dealt with just fine.

It would have been better then his foil topped skinny white pant outfit from hell.

I could have even dealt with THIS...

And we all know how trashtastic that outfit was...at least it made a statement. One that said more then take me to your leader...and his camel toe.

Hell, I would have preferred THIS too...

At least it was hot in it's time, no?

Shit, it would have been better on his model at least. And no camel toe!

Bradley recreated a Cher look that has never existed...and he did it badly.

Bradley gave up and there was no Birthday fairy to save him this time.

Bradley is a squid with no ocean.

Bradley is a designer with no runway...

But hey! Everyone else kind of kicked ass on this challenge...

And check it out...Keith released Michael Kors from his dungeon filled with sewing books and tiny women with itty bitty sewing machines who were making his clothes for him.

The Kors is back...

And as bitchy as ever.

My other favorite Michael won this challenge which pitted the models against each other in a battle of pure luck and bony elbows.

The luck came from the velvet bag, button picking ceremony in which the models chose their designers. Bradley was last and chose that, poor-man's Katie Holmes before she was brainwashed, girl.

The bony elbows came from this:

An all out pussy fight to choose a style icon that their designer would work with.

And the pairings were a little bit of perfection most of the way around.

I completely geeked out when I found out that Kayne's icon would be Marilyn Monroe. I sort of love him and I ABSOLUTELY love her, so my happiness was fueled to it's brink.

He was very close to having another win under his belt with this fabulous slinky black number.

And IN that slinky black number was Amanda. And we find out that Amanda likes to talk...and talk...and talk...and talk...and talk some more.

Kayne's reaction was fantastic and he was very quotable with his quote that models "should be pretty and seen and don't open your mouth."

That reminds me of Arrested Development and the school that Buster went to where children were neither seen or heard...great show Arrested Development was...great show.

But back to the point, Kayne didn't win.

As we all know, the actual winner was Michael...

YAY!
YAY!!!!

He designed for Pam Grier and shit y'all...it was smokin'!

HAWT!

The other designer in the top three was Angela. Wait, wha?

Yeah, Angela has been stepping her shit up lately and kicking ass. I really loved her first challenge outfit and then her fight with Vincent turned everyone off. Following this, her bubble skirt fiasco had most of us throwing up in our mouths, and I figured Angela was on her way auf.

Little did we all know that Angela has this cool ability to keep her crazy button turned to off at times and she ends up with some killer pieces.

Who knew?

And while Angela dresses like a hobo with a bladder problem most of the time...

She a really, really pretty girl.

Even when she's defending herself against Jeffrey and his quacking.

Speaking of Duck Man, what the fuck was this?

Maybe he should spend less time quacking and more time at Madonna concerts...

Bad Mommy was involved in this quack fight as she tried to defend Angela. Jeffrey said he wished she would have a stroke or something.

First of all, that's seriously evil.

Second of all, Bad Mommy could kick your ass if she had a wonky eye, no legs and six fingers total...

She's a bad ass mother and a stone cold bitch. A stroke is barely a blip on Bad Mommy's radar.

And if her sidekick, Captain Save-A-Ho ever reveals his true self, they'd make an unstoppable team...

In other news, Robert has just become the most boring designer in Project Runway history.

He designs for Barbie...when did he become so incredibly bland?

It's linen! It's beige! It's...zzzzzzzzz......

Sorry, I passed out from boredom.

Let's get to Vincent and his Twiggy meets Braveheart concoction.

Wait, I lied. Let's first examine this picture and realize that Bradley's aufing was incredibly imminent.

Bradley, dear, if Vincent of all people is looking at your design like "Tha fuck is this?", you know you're in trouble.

Onto TwiggyHeart...

This was almost majorly perfect. Vincent's first mistake was not using knee high boots. I could care less if they were available or not...if you're going to do Twiggy, you're going to do mod.

And to be quite honest, mod is relatively simple. Big bold blocks of color and funky accessories. Not to mention boots. How did he not do boots?!

Secondly, had Vincent simply changed the plaid parts of the design to white, he would have accomplished the mod, block colored, look with a cool twist. I could have even dealt with those pockets on it.

At least he didn't make a hat.

Thank god for small favors, no?

So, our dear Bradley is gone...who's going to compare themselves to animals outside of their element now? I'll kind of miss that.

Next week, the designers visit some sort of factory.

Is it too much to hope that they'll leave Jeffrey there?

Quack.

"Full Tilt Boogie Angela Quilted Extravaganza of Puff" is the New "Whickety Whack"

2006-08-03T17:23:00.000-04:00

Cuz they're basically the same thing.

Bad Mommy had so many quotable quotes this episode!

As for the episode itself...kinda boring. I can't lie.

Before I get into the BIG SHOCKING EJECTION, I'll explain the challenge...as if you don't know already.

They are designing for INC at Macy's which is hot cuz I like the clothes.

Some guy whose name I don't remember elvaluated all the sketches and chose four. Why only four? What's with all the damn team challenges? I want fashion dammit!

Okay, I'm good now.

The dude picks Keith (duh), Robert (duh), Bonnie and Angela (huh?).

Teams are picked and Angela made the brilliant choice of choosing Michael and Laura. Her construction skills with their taste ended up kind of fantastic.

The designers only get $100. That's really not much. I spent over $300 the other night on purses. No...really...

But everyone did a good job at Mood. Keith finagled some money of his total for fabric.

"I always kinda break the rules, just like a tiny bit sometimes, cuz I think I'm right." -Jude...I mean Keith

That's a direct quote. I rewound it a couple of times ot be sure. He actually said this at Mood.

Oh foreshadowing...why must you taunt me so...

Let's get down to business. Keith got the big 'ol boot last night for hiding books under his bed on sewing.

That's it? No really, that's it?

I thought it would be something much more shocking. Like maybe Keith kidnapped Michael Kors and was torturing him for fashion ideas about womenswear, because we all know Keith is a menswear designer.

I mean, he did leave production for a few hours which was another part of his elimination. Maybe I'm onto something here.

Sorry Michael!

I'm beginning to think that Bradley is bat shit crazy. First it was Vincent, then it was Angela and now Bradley can wear the crown.

Soon after offering to shave his beard to please Bonnie, (no...really...) Bradley talks about how out of the loop he is. Aren't we designing here? Aren't you a designer?

"I'm a fish without water, I'm a squid with no ocean, I'm an eagle with no sky."

Yeah, a squid with no ocean...and a shovel...

As for the other teams, Jeffrey and Angela are making it work...snooze...

...and Robert is having mad issues. Fa' real?! Turns out his design is sort of "Flight attendant-y" a la Kayne. But according to Robert, Kayne has the taste of a love starved hyena.

That comparison is...well...different.

And it turns out Michael is kind of a bad ass.

At least in the Tresemme hair salon.

It's runway time bitches!

Jude is gone and we're left with some odd turtleneck that is giving birth to a wife beater.

The skinny pants were hot at least.

Robert's flight attendant has decided to go skiing in the Adirondacks.

The hyena was right...

Bonnie's model ended up looking sort of mod...in a really horrible way.

And the pants were all paunchy. That's what you get with $100 at Mood.

Onto Angela's design...

It looks cute! And classy! And there's not a bubble to be seen!

Hallelujah to Laura and Michael for toning down the "full tilt boogie etc..." and making a really chic and wearable outift.

Here it is at Macy's.

http://slimages.macys.com/is-viewers/dynapi/src/lib/tsapi/images/cover.gif?328x400

I think I'm going to go buy it. Or at least see it in person. Or at least buy the hot rouched top.

Alright children...what's the moral of this crazy Project Runway episode?

Don't ever fuck with a pageant queen...of any kind.

Or hyenas for that matter.

That, and grey is the new brown ;)

Next week, the models go ape shit over fashion icons. I kind of want to see someone get poked in the eye with an elbow or ribcage.

Oh, and Michael Kors is back! Bring on the snark...

Taste is Such a Strong Word - Project Runway, Season 3 - Episode 3

2006-07-28T13:07:00.000-04:00

This post could have been titled a variety of things...

Like Doggy Style...

...or Canine Design...

...or Poochie Print...

...or even, Birthday Magic (cuz some kind of fairy god mama was looking over BB's shoulder)

But I thought, with all the talk on good and bad taste, and of course those with non-existent taste, that this was more appropriate.

Now, before I delve into what was the most adorable episode of PR ever (asside from Andrae montages, of course...but that would be far too much splicing for one epi), I want to talk about what's better...bad taste, or no taste at all?

I am leaning toward no taste. I guess I'd rather look at something boring, rather then something ugly. Even if said boring piece was made badly. At least I didn't feel mildly nauseous after looking at it. More on this later...

There are small dogs EVERYWHERE!

How exciting!

I love dogs!

I have three...Bailey, Baxter and Winnie the Poodle. Bailey and Winnie are both standard poodles, and Baxter is some sort of hybrid puppy. Sounds better then mutt, no?

Tim instructs the designers to design something inspired by their dogs. How hot is that? They are also to come up with a story about said dog and base the design off of that.

If my dog were to inspire a design, I can't even imagine how it'd look.

My Winnie...

...yeah, that Winnie...

...hangs out at frat parties...

Party Animal

...chills with Tigger (get it? Winnie the POO(H)dle...)...

...and HATES it when I carry her!

(There was glass on the floor, I was doing her a favor!)

She's not very awe inspiring for fashion, but fortunately for our designers, their dogs were!

On top of being REALLY cute, our designers dogs sort of resembled the designers they ended up with. JudeKeith noticed this first (I think..maybe it was Jeffrey) and hell if he's not right!

So, Laura hates dogs, Robert hates stories, Keith hates Laura and Vincent's dog hates hats.

"Mine is so much more tasteful then both of yours."

Wait, say wha?

Laura says this little gem to Kayne and Robert at Mood. The two designers who have won the two challenges separately and together. Perhaps taste was a strong word in this instance. Perhaps her boring tweed would have been better described as...well...boring...

And I could be nuts, but doesn't this concept look an itsy bit familiar...

*see episode one*

SEEN IT! NEXT!

Compared with Kayne's colorful and flirty design, Laura's was hella hella boring...

Holy hell! How did he not win again? And of course, the detailing on the back was fantastic as always. Plus, he chose a poodle!

But to be fair, there were A LOT of really fantastic designs.

Michael's also stood out for me:

The neck criss crosses looked SO chic! And the fit was perfection! It was such a clean look that really shone in it's detailing. How it wasn't one of the top designs was beyond me.

Also great was KeithJude. Unfortch, KeithJude did not make a doggy outfit...

Not that the poor dog needed anything else with that ridiculous hair cut, but he could have at least added a funky (not bracelet) collar to the hand cuff leash, a la BB. This cost him dearly with the judges as did lying (sort of) to Heidi about the collar.

But there's no way they are getting rid of this guy. An asshole who can actually create beautiful garments?? Ratings whore say wha?

Speaking of BB. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Your fairy god mother has smiled upon you.

The judges LOVED it.

Huh?

To me, it kind of looked like a poor man's version of Daniel V's Inspiration challenge design.

But it is his birthday, so hooray! Bradley is back for more!

The top two were Allison's:

and Uli's:

Both girls took this fantastic concept and RAN with it! The stories were great and the designs were perfection to go along. However, Uli came out the big winner.

While Allison's taste level was ginormous, her design didn't have that special little something that really had it standing out. Uli's use of pattern and draping really stood out. As did her little greeting on the runway "Hi Ladies"

That special little touch had her standing out from everyone.

Except maybe for Angela's which was just plain ugly.

This is where I bring up bad taste vs no taste. I'm not saying Katherine has no taste, but compared to Kayne, Uli, Michael, Allison, et al...it was hella boring. Even Laura's hella boring fabric was transformed into a hell cool jacket. Familiar, but hella cool.

Katherine's dress was good in concept. The color's at the top were great and the combined pieces at the top were really attractive. Unfortch, she didn't listen to Professor Tim about adding a hoodie or shrug or shroodie or whatever.

Plus, she was thruthful about her hemline. That shit looked on purpose and she blamed the machines. Make it work Katherine...make it work.

Angela's outfit was immaculate as far as construction is concerned, but it was super duper fug.

Maybe she could create a super hero based on her fug outfits. I'd call the hero Super Fug, but that would be super duper predictable. How about Wonder Fug?

Eh, whatev.

So Angela's nutty ass stays, and sacrificial lamb (ie: inexperienced) Katherine is auf'ed.

Next week, Tim opens a can of whoop ass, but who is it?

I'm not bothering with the guessing game, it makes my head hurt.

Auf Wiederwhatever...

The Nicest Disney Villian There Ever Was- Project Runway, Season Three- Episode 2

2006-07-20T10:09:00.000-04:00

Well shit.

Malan almost made me cry.

No joke.

I think I was just emotional about my leg...

...or something.

Or perhaps I jumped to conclusions too soon about Malan.

But hell if they don't make him look all evil and scheme-ish. Damn you, Powers That Be, damn you!

Okay, I'm done with that.

I did change my opinion on Malan, however. During the episode, I also changed my opinion on Angela.

Yes, we all know/knew that Vincent is bat shit crazy. That was no surprise. What was surprising was how wishy washy Angela was.

Now I understand dealing with someone elses vision and having said person shun your efforts to help. Unfortunately, Angela handled herself in the worst possible way. Her reaction to Tim's questions on the dress were offensive, rather then defensive and it bit her in the tushy later on when the dress turned out to be one of Tara's favorites.

Tara is Tara Connor by the by. Miss America, soon competing for Miss Universe and our designers were put into teams to create an evening gown for the big event. Jude/Keith decided it would be a great idea to seduce Miss USA and feel her up. She totally took the bait however and chose his design. I probably would have too.

But back to the Angela/Vincent drama...

Angela handled the situation terribly, and made me sort of not like her anymore. Yes, it isn't her fault that Vincent wouldn't let her help and it wouldn't have been her fault had the dress looked like shit.

But the dress turned out sort of hot. A little matronly, but classic enough to keep them "in".

See?

But her reactions were awful and totally turned me off. Plus, I really hated everything she wore this week. Especially that skirt. Are you a 3 year old ballerina? Yeah, I didn't think so.

I have to give Malan props though (yeah, I said props...and I mean it). Malan had me seriously liking him this week! Yes, there was a sob story that may, or may not be true. But his Daniel Franco moment had me absolutely thrown for a loop. It was totally classy of him to keep his word to Katherine and take the fall on his own design.

It made me want Angela to be auf'ed just so I could keep Malan around for awhile. Possibly fake accent and all.

Let's move on to the fashion...

SHUT UP KAYNE!!! On top of being a total genius about choosing Robert (Mr. Barbie) as his partner, his design was FANTASTIC. The color choice was perfect and Tara will look mad hot in it.

Kayne is rapidly becoming my favorite designer. Could he be the new Nick, or SHUT UP! the new Austin Scarlett???

I cannot wait to see more from him =)

We only had a total of seven dresses though, and most of them were pretty good. If they weren't seriously fashion forward, then they were classic with a special touch.

Laura chose Michael to create a total Yin-Yang effect whenever you saw them standing together.

The dress was pretty, but not nearly as special as Kayne's.

Uli chose Bonnie and the dress was ethereal and really pretty. I didn't see it as pageant-ish though and was surprised it almost won. Oh well, still pretty.

I thought that Keith's dress looked really similar in style to Uli's, just strapless. Still not pageanty though. But again, still pretty. NEXT!

Wait, back up. I forgot to mention that Keith chose Bradley, who's still totally adorable. Hooray!

Jeffrey chose Alison and they made a dress that again, was pretty. It turned out rather ill-fitting though and I expected it to be scored much lower.

Malan's dress was clearly the worst. It fit badly, the color was terrible and the hem was non-existant.

Maybe if this was the Woodland Nymph pageant, it would have fared better, but that's clearly not the case. A challenge like that would happen much later in the season ;)

So Malan Breton from Taiwan was aufed. I take back the whole Disney villian thing. Maybe he'd make a better accent-challenged mentor to a young boy looking to dress elves and chaise lounges.

We could call it Not A Disco Ball---The Legend of Taiwan John or something to that affect.

I'm going to miss Malan. He was sort of fantastic in an odd, British, cocky, squinty way.

The cockiness is running rampant and next episode the designers are doing something with accessories. In The Bag, perhaps?

Until next recap, auf wiedersehn...

Wall-to-Wall...Bitchery?? Project Runway, Season 3...Episode 1

2006-07-13T16:08:00.000-04:00

FYI: there are no pics cuz blogger is being totally unhelpful here. I'll try to add some later on, but no promises as I have the technical savvy of a newt.

Hooray! Project Runway is back and early too!

Could it get better?

Of course it can! We have 15 designers, most of whom are cocky, bitchy and relatively established in the industry. So on top of big, moody personalities, we will also have a tight race as far as talent goes.

I guess I'll start with my first impressions...at least of those I think are noteable...I'll go deeper as the show progresses...probably...

Bradley- Is it strange to think that a 32-year old man with a scraggly beard is absolutely adorable? He's a total pothead (I think). All mellowed out and kind of free, but his face is totally darling! I thought his video collection was beautiful as well not to mention completely endearing. We'll see how he fares on the show, but I have a dorky crush on him already.

Malan- Does he remind anyone else of an evil Disney character? Kind of like Jafar from Alladin, but instead of wanting magical genie powers, he was everyone to dress well and have creepy slicked black hair. He's got the snide villian attitude down pretty pat. However, since he tried out twice before, was denied once and declined once, I'm a bit wary of how he'll do. Plus, his bitchiness sets him up for some serious Santino-like moments.

Laura- Momma K, is that you?...lol She is impeccably dressed at all times and I can't help but respect someone like that. Especially considering I'm in sweatpants most of the time lately to go over my stupid cast. Laura seems like she could be a stone-cold bitch at the drop of a hat. I like it.

Keith- Jude Law is that you?? Will his menswear background hinder him a la Emmett? Not if the first episode is any indication, but his bitchery is fantastic.

Robert- Barbie's stylist has entered the building and I am THRILLED! Cannot wait to see more of him!

Kayne- I came into the show ready to hate all the glitter and sparkle Kayne was bound to put on his designs based on his pageant background. I'm happy he's proven me wrong already. I'll get more into his fabulous design momentarily.

Jeffrey- I think I'm a fan solely based on the fact that he looks like a guy I used to hook-up with. Older and a lot rougher-looking, but the resemblance is there. Kind of sexy in an "If I ever brought him home my mom would die in shock" kind of way.

But I do have to say, Jeffery when you are quoting your resume of celebrity clients it may not be the smartest idea to include Ms. Spears on that list. At least not as of late. Aerosmith? Shut the eff up, I'd die to design clothes for them. Gwen Stefani?? She is a total style maven who starts trends single-handedly and always looks amazing.

But Britney?

I mean, it's been quite a time since she's presented herself in a way that one would want to associate their stylings with. But whatev...I'm no judge.

Let's move on to the episode...hey Heidi! She can actually drink champagne.

So the designers are going to tear apart their apartments. Sort of like Clothes Off Your Back but instead of an outfit, it's your home...or at least your temporary home.

My foreshadowing tells me that the apartments will remain in the state the designers leave them in. Good thing my foreshadowing sense is almost always right. It keeps the surprises on the low end.

Malan is all "What's wrong with these people tearing apart the apartments?" Yet his villian ass ends up with all the tweedy knitted material for his top and purse. You know he beat someone down for that off camera. Et tu Malan? What's wrong with you?

It's too early to comment on the work time. Too many people. Makes my brain hurt. Except Stacey...if you didn't know how to sew, what made you think you could be a designer? Hand sewing is fine and all, but fa real, did you really expect to win this thing?

The designs on the runway were stellar as a whole. I'm impressed so far...I mean, aside from a basket hat or so.

My favorites were Kayne, Robert, Angela, Uli, Laura and Keith.

Kayne- Holy crap! His was AMAZING! The back was absolutely beautiful and the detailing was so intricate. That intricacy mixed with wonderful color use and the back of his dress...don't get me started! I thought he used his materials the best to make a really detailed piece that still outlined his material useage. I thought he should have been one of the top designers if not the winner. And to think...I was all set to hate his designs based solely on sequins!

Robert- Oh so cute! I can't get over how sweet his dress ended up. The necklace front and the bow in the back. It was a really special dress. He's going to be a fantastic designer to watch.

Angela- I didn't hear a lot of people loving hers, but I thought her use of the leather and the peep-shirt were great. It looked kind of arts and craftsy but really high fashion as well.

Uli's use of the beading as a necklace front ended up gorgeous! The line of the dress looked so long and really elegant.

How on earth did Laura end up with an elegant, fur-trimmed jacket from all that junk in the rooms?! Couldn't you just see some fabulously dressed 70's icon wearing that coat to Studio 54 or something? I just don't know if she can get away with anymore kitsch then that. However, as sharp dressed as she is, I think this kitsch is a one time thing.

Keith/Jude- Naturally, I thought it was too fabricky to use bed sheets. The dress looked beautiful considering he claims to have never done womenswear before. Is Jude pulling a fast one on us? I think that there were better dresses and outfits that used the materials better and still looked fashionable, but my name isn't Nina, Kate, Heidi or Michael.

My favorite, hands-down was Kayne's, followed closely by Robert. I cannot wait to see more of them.

Jeffrey in the bottom two...are you serious? The judges said it was "too much". I thought we wanted more here, hence immunity. In my opinion the dress was really beautiful. The jacket was a nice touch as well. It's probable that it looked unfinished because of time constraints but it was far superior in detail to Vincent's (which was basically a tube dress with a braided halter).

Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to see what Vincent's batty mind has for us next, but I didn't like the first attempt.

Like I said before, almost all of the designs were high fashion and attractive. Stacey was an aobvious choice with her lack of experience, but this season seems to be shaping up to be a REALLY close call.

And it's only episode 1!

This is a PR fans dream come true. And this season comes complete with a boot-off!

Who will it be? Keith/Jude mentioned something about sabotage in the previews, did he not? Malan has evil genius written all over him. Vincent could crack at any time and Michael might choke a bitch with coffee filters.

Only time, and Tim, will tell ;)

When God Gives You Lemons...

2006-07-12T15:48:00.000-04:00

You take those lemons, clone them, and make SUPER lemons!

I stole that from this short lived MTV cartoon show called Clone High. It had characters at a high school that were clones of historical figures, ie: Ghandi, Abe Lincoln, JFK, Catherine the Great, Joan of Arc, etc...

Only the clones were high school students in high school situations where Ghandi and Abe were best friends and Abe was in love with Joan who has the hots for JFK who's boinking Catherine the Great, who in one scene of them making out in a closet he calls her "Catherine the So-So".

So basically this show was totally whacked out but I kind of got a huge kick out of it. I laughed multiple times during each episode I saw, and the crazy cloning man brought about one of my favorite lemon quotes.

Except this isn't Clone High, and instead of lemons, life gave me puppy pee.

And what do I do? I promptly step in that puppy pee at the very top of a flight of wooden stairs and proceed to fall down said stairs, breaking my ankle. Technically I broke my leg, the fibula to be exact, but it's all the same to me...I was no longer whole.

The worst part? I was on vacation, at my brother's place, in Connecticut, puppy-sitting, and all alone. I was puppy sitting until Sunday when my brother would be back and we'd spend the fourth getting drunk with his friends. I didn't make it that far.

I spent my fun drunken weekend in the hospital in need of surgery.

So now, I'm the proud owner of 6 screws and a plate in my ankle...as well as a 5 pound cast.

The worst part...or one of them...I was supposed to go into NYC to wander around and see Emmett's store. Trish even called cuz we were possibly going to meet up, but when my phone rang I was in a hospital bed, waiting for someone to put me to sleep and cut open my leg.

ACK!

I know right!

So I'm crutching around for the next 6-8 weeks. Boo.

Hey, at least I've got a story for the kids ;)

Irish For a Night... Project Runway 2, Finale Part 2

2006-03-15T16:24:00.000-05:00

So this is a week late...my bad.

I've been busy interviewing w/ the Washington Post...here's to hoping I can leave my crap ass job!

Anyway, enough about me...let's talk about Project Runway!

It's over!

That sucks!

What am I going to do with my Wednesday nights? Having a life is so overrated!

Okay, my apologies...back to the recap of the finale. Although the finale was a little boring, no? I can't lie...I was atwitter with anticipation the whole time, but I felt as though it was anti-climactic.

Yes we have a winner and that's always a bit exciting, but it just sort of happened. Like I was sitting there, Chloe wins and it's over. Kind of like when I'm sitting on the couch and my dog climbs on my knees and hoists into my lap without me noticing. All of a sudden I look down and there's 40 lbs of fur in my lap...how did that happen??

So I ask...how did Chloe win? Okay, that's a silly question. Chloe won because the seams on her garments were impeccable over Santino and Daniel V. Example:

Santino's is on the left and Chloe's is on the right. Now, while I respond better to Santino's design, it's clear that Chloe's is constructed better.

So I'm going out on a limb and saying that Chloe got lucky...hence the posts title. Before anyone gets up in arms, hear me out...

Chloe was a distant third going into the finale. This is even after the majority of curious fans saw the Fashion Week pics online and knew what they would be seeing come March 8th.

I personally had a hard time choosing between Santino and Daniel as the better collection, but knew one thing....I did not like Chloe's garments. They were 80's, poofy and shiny. And while I'm usually attracted to shiny objects, I just couldn't get into the looks.

Now I held off my final judegement until I saw all the garments in motion and I was right in thinking that my opinions would change.

Interjecting note on personal life: I got the job!!!! I resigned from my crap job today and am starting the new one in two weeks! Fa' real?!

Okay, once again, back to the Runway.

On video Chloe's garments were stunning...still 80's...but stunning nonetheless. They moved well and looked consistent.

The lucky part is coming in the form of our lovely and talented judges. I have always said that depending on thier mood, it could be a win for anyone. Santino won the muslin challenge, but in my opinion, Nick's orange dress was far superior to all the other garments.

Unfortunately, I'm not a judge on Project Runway and don't pick winners. If I were and I did, I would have picked Daniel's. It's not cuz he's cute or whatev...I really liked his collection. I saw both the military and japanese influences and thought it was fashion forward and still wearable.

The judges proceeded to contradict themselves all episode...most apparant was their critique of Santino. Figure it out kids...do we want the whickety-whack or not?

It's been weeks since the finale...Top Chef is on, I've been watching Top Model and I'm STILL confused.

Okay, now it's been months since the finale...the new season begins tonight. I'm clearly not going to finish this post. Sorry! But that's life.

I do plan on blogging about the new season, so there's that, right? My new job is keeping me busy but I'll get to that in another post.

This post is basically done...so...

Fin?

God Save the QUEEN

2006-03-10T23:41:00.000-05:00

I can officially say that I have seen Queen in concert!

Granted, there was a major hole in the concert in the impressive form of the fabulous Freddie Mercury, but it was still a kick ass experience! Paul Rodgers of Bad Company stood in for Freddie (my idol) during most of the songs...

We got a really good mix of Queen and Bad Company and some generally kick tootie songs I didn't know. Brian May is an insanely amazing guitarist too! He had a lot of solos while Paul Rodgers changed into different colored wife beaters (????) but it was worth it because he's one of the best!

Now, I went ot the bathroom twice during the concert and missed almost ALL of "Fat Bottomed Girls" which is not only one of my faves, but a song I can relate to too boot! That sort of pissed me off, THEN I missed the first part of Bohemian Rhapsody! HELLO?! Who goes to the pisser during Queen???? Stupid wine I drank before the show...

During Bohemian Rhapsody, the producers of the concert showed how smart they are and why they get paid the big bucks. Paul Rodgers was MIA and instead I, and the rest of the audience, was treated to a video (montage and performance) of Freddie singing while the rest of the musicians played live. It was INCREDIBLE!!!

The clips of old school Queen were really great, and seeing Freddie Mercury on screen had me going really hard. I can't even lie...I nearly cried several times.

Two words...a...mazing!

Everyone has their idols and celebs (dead or alive) that they would want to have dinner with given the opportunity. For me, one of them is Marilyn Monroe and the other is Freddie Mercury. He was the most amazing live performer there ever has been and his magentism on stage will probably never be rivaled. I only wish that I could have seen him before his untimely death.

The concert was really great though and I'm so glad I randomly decided to get the tickets. I took my mom for her birthday and Christmas (they were expensive yo!) and we had a good time together...always do!

If you are a Queen fan and have a chance to catch this concert, definitely do it! It was an unreal experience and every moment was perfection!

Irish For a Day...

2006-03-08T14:31:00.000-05:00

Ahhhh...it's March!

You know what that means? It's springtime for one thing, but it also means that St. Patty's Day is near, and THAT means that the Erin Express is going down...

For those who don't know, the Erin Express is a day when several different bars in Philly open at 9am and a school bus rides from bar to bar, providing EE revelers with many different options.

This past weekend was week one of two of the Erin Express' for 2006, and yours truly was front and center:)

This year was much the same as last, we got to Cavanaugh's (where everyone and their mother comes eventually) at 9am.

No.

Really.

9am is the perfect time. They just open, you can chill and digest your breakfast and stake out the perfect spot for maximum exposure to all things Erin. So our perfect spot consisted of two booths right next to the dance floor...perfect, no?

We ended up not leaving Cav's for the second year in a row. With a majorly decent seating arrangement, practically everyone we knew stopping by to chill at our booths, and the free beer they brought, I saw no reason to leave.

The following are pics of our drunken progress through the day...or at least until 6:30 when I decided McDonald's and a nap would be the perfect end to the perfect Erin;)

Meredith (my sis) and I pre-alcohol...clearly...

First beer of the day w/ my best girlfriends!

Shots of beer are great fun...so is flip cup...and beer pong...and quarters...

My baby sister is getting wasted...

Apparantly so am I...who thought those glasses were a good idea?

More shots of beer...

Best.

Necklaces.

Ever.

God, I love my sister.

From this point forward, my face got more red and shiny, my hair curled up and the pictures proceeded into the realm of unattractive...

See? Red...check. Shiny...check. Curly...check!

It was only about 3 o'clock too. Thank god for McDonalds, cuz I ate that and was sober again. Then I was tired. That's how to party hard with no hangover!

Sober up and then pass out;)

If anyone ever gets the opportunity, hit the Erin Express in Philly in March. It's there every year and always a lot of fun!

My liver hates me...

The Beginning of the End- Project Runway 2, Episode 13

2006-03-02T15:06:00.000-05:00

AKA, Finale Part 1

So I thought that we were a bit overloaded with information last night. Maybe I was just tired, but the episode felt really long to me. Not that I'm complaining, I mean I love me some PR, but it all felt a little strained to me.

On another note, this recap might suck a lot because I feel like crap, but what are ya gonna do??
Our designers part ways to go home for 7 months until New York Fashion Week. Daniel V. stays in New York, Santino goes home to LA and Chloe to Houston. Oh, Eden goes home too, but who didn't see that one coming?

I'm not really going to talk about the clothes we see until next week, esp since I already reviewed them from Fashion Week in the still photos. I'll hold my comments until I see them in motion...

So Tim gets to drive around in a phatty car all episode, and I'm jealous! This is the car the winner will get? Hot...like really hot...

He visits Santino first and we get a seriously humanized version of him. It becomes apparant that all of Santino's shit talking is actually a defense mechanism. Sort of like "I'll insult you first before you can offend me" type stuff.

I've been there, I've seen it and done it. It was a bit redeeming to see him vulnerable and his friends kids are way too cute. They were hanging on him like a jungle gym.

We are also introduced to the fact that Santino is part African American (at least I think) which we didn't know before. There's a nice picture of his family when he was an infant and his mother is really beautiful.

Look at the innocence!

Ack! So cute!

How did the above baby end up wanting to flip off America (and parts of Canada?) on National TV? I mean I get that he wasn't flipping us off, but this shot:

seems to suggest otherwise...

God, I love Santino. It's a different love then my love for Andrae and Nick. This is a love based around my enjoyment of his ability to get away with things I couldn't.

*raises middle finger*

Santino, I salute you!

Back in New York, Daniel is working his tootie off and takes Tim shopping for a blazer. The segment on Daniel was a little repetitive since it talked about his coming out, but we did get to see some cute old photos of him...including one w/ a mohawk. Can't decide if that was better or worse then the mom hair.

Keep it long and shaggy babe...trust me...

It is reiterated however, that Daniel is a seriously fierce sketch artist. His fashion drawings are always stunning and have such attitude.

Loves it!

In Houston, Chloe has comandeered the garage at her parents house for working purposes...but no sketching.

We learn another interesting fact. As a child, Chloe's family lived in Laos and had to flee the country during the Vietnam war. Sort of an underground railroad type operation before making it to the US. I can't even imagine that ish...we're glad to have ya Chloe!

And her 7 sisters!...We get to see some pictures of them all together and hell if I can tell which one is her. My sister and I look nothing alike, and all 8 of them have similarities to one another...

Which one is Chloe? Kind of like What Happened to Andrae, no? I got money on either the second from the bottom or the fourth one down.

It's kind of like a game...pick the right sister and win a prize!

Don't get me started here though...

I have NO idea...

Any guesses?

This game is getting harder the more I type about it...

Okay, I'll throw you a bone, this one is pretty easy...now, Which One is Chloe??

I kid...really.

Yay, our designers are together again! Bravo kept previewing a rift between Santino and Chloe which lasted about two seconds in which Chloe told him he offended her and Santino saying he was sorry...at least essentially.

Santino also said something about reading all "the shitty blogs". I only started about a month ago, so I'm gonna assume I'm not on that list. Tino, I know some pretty awesome blogs if you need any suggestions;)

We have a whole new work room provided by Banana Republic where the designers will be hibernating until Fashion Week.

Tim likes Chloe's, Tim loves Santino's and Tim appears to be concerned about Daniel's.

Hold on, back up. Daniel is having problems?

Uh-oh, Tim looks perplexed. Daniel looks worried...but don't worry Daniel! It could be worse...

Tim could be looking at your designs like that. Be thankful for small favors.

The designers also got to choose models which was good fun. As we all know, they each got their own model, as well as others from PR and various models from other agencies.

I must maintain that it will forever be funny to see Chloe and Grace next to each other in a picture. Grace is about 6 feet tall and Chloe is about 4 foot nothing.

See? It's hilarious! What makes it even better is that it looks like they just hugged and Grace is still hunched a little bit while Chloe is still on her tippy toes. Chloe is snack size.

Shortly after the model choosing and Daniel V's angst over Tim's silence, we are delivered the big shocking news!

The designers, with two days left until Fashion Week and all of their other garments to alter, must create another design to make it thirteen total looks. Turns out the Project Runway producers are evil, much like wallpaper.

I think that parts of this "surprise" are just mean spirited. What's worse is calling it a surprise at all. Surprises generally have a positive conotation to them. There's nothing positive going on here:

I'm pretty sure Daniel's little smirk is either delirium, or how he looks when he's thinking about choking Heidi Klum...

But wait, there's more! And this is actually positive! The designers will be provided with an extra pair of hands.

Cue the appearance of Kara at the door. I immediately assume that they are bringing back the three most recently eliminated designers and my panties get all twisted because I think Nick and Andrae will be right behind her. And who's behind Kara? Lupe...of course...

Lucky for my panties, Nick and Andrae are right behind them accompanied by all the other designers. *waves to Emmett*

Chloe, Daniel and Santino must pick one other designer to assist them.

Daniel gets to choose first and true to form, he picks Nick (I actually yelled "Pick Nick!" at the TV...I'm learning to embrace my dorkitude)

Nick was surprised, but not me!

Both of my season two faves on a team together?

Shut.

Up.

I'm a happy viewer...

Santino chooses next and with a totally cute Timpression, picks Andrae. "Andrae...come here."

Ahhh...together again...

And, true to form, I laughed like a moron and openly declared my love for Andrae once more.

Lastly, Chloe picked Diana, thus breaking the hearts of ten other designers...

You can't eff with Dirty Diana, suckas!

So with a little less stress, the designers come up with sketches for their new dress before going shopping.

Next week, we get to see more about the new garment as well as the Fashion Week shows...I think that seeing the designs in motion will make a big difference.

Then we will have our winner. Exciting, no? I'm biased towards Daniel, but you should know that already...

I'd pray to the fabric gods...

...but Andrae's got me covered;)

Okay, so I watch The Idol...

2006-03-02T11:47:00.000-05:00

I kind of can't help it.

I began watching during Season One because I sing and I wanted to watch other people sing. I've even pondered trying out, but wanted to take lessons first...which I'm actually doing now:)

Anyway...so I've been sucked into this season like a vacuum. It's much like the vacuum that has sucked me in for each previous season.

Okay, I lied. There's no vacuum. I am an American Idol fan. I watch it each week like a total nerd and dammit...I enjoy it. I get goose bumps when the good singers are on and I cringe when it's crappy. The whole nine.

This season of the Idol has provided viewers with a few noteable characters which I've been feeling a dire need to discuss...and so I will.

The talent is pretty good this year, but there are the typical pretty, bad singers. You know, they're pretty, but not especially talented...one of them got the boot last week. Peace out Maxim Barbie.

Mandisa kind of rocks really hard. She's sort of great. On top of being a darn fine singer, she called Simon out on his comments about her weight. Good girl!

Paris Bennett is the cutest thing I've ever seen...plus, she's severely talented.

Kellie Pickler is cute for about .2 seconds...her "aw shucks" demeanor is starting to grate on me. She'll probably make top twelve, but I don't see her going too far.

Katherine McPhee is pretty awesome too. She can sing her tootie off and is really pretty. She's very girl next doorish without being annoying.

Ayla Brown...I dunno why, but I like her. Yeah, she can sing, but on top of that I just like her. But still...dunno why.

The guys this year can sing better as a group then any in previous years. Plus, they're either really hot, really adorable, or really good. Sometimes they're all three...

Kevin Covais is the cutest flipping thing I've ever seen! He sang Josh Groban in his auditions and nailed it...last night he sang "Heard it Through The Grapevine" and his awkward dancing made him that much more adorable.

William Makar: It's a shame I'm not 15 because he'd be the love of my young teenage life. Same with David Radford. PS- there was this funny moment last night where Seacrest tried to disrobe Will...I cried for him a little. They're both decent singers and charming to boot. But, since I'm no longer 15 there's...

Ace Young...who didn't see that one coming. I have mixed feelings on this one. Yes, he can sing. Yes, he's great looking. But to me right now, he's cookie cutter. If I wanted to open an American Idol bakery, I'd serve Ace-shaped cookies. Last night, the judges said he's better then he's letting on, and I hope that's true, because I'd like him to really wow me...you know...with his singing... Last thing on him, I swear...last weeks song selection ("Father Figure" by George Michael) was a tad on the creepy side...it's a good thing he's cute!

See? Cookies...

Chris Daughtry: Firstly, he is married and adopted his wife's children...hello?! Look up Perfect Man in the dictionary. It's this guy. He's got the look...the look, being hot, and can sing as well. He's got this growly thing that totally works. He's an early fave.

I also have mixed feelings on Taylor Hicks...I think he's a great singer with a cool style of singing that Idol hasn't seen before, but the I find him difficult to watch. The twitching is sort of cool but a little irksome at the same time. I dig the guy though.

Elliot Yamin is sort of local to here and has been on the morning show I listen to twice because they play in Richmond too...but on top of these things he's probably the best singer on the show right now. His voice has a really great tone and he's picking good songs. Another early fave.

Sorry I didn't touch on everyone...at this point, I can't care about them all. I don't even really care who moves on...I just think there are some noteworthy personalities. If you want a total recap, check out judge jru. He's pretty funny and goes into detail.

So, those are my thoughts on the Idol...I know, who cares, right? I'm gonna keep watching though;)

Wiping Off The Dust parts 2, 3, 4 and 5

2006-03-02T10:53:00.000-05:00

So these past two weeks, I've been slave laboring and redecorating/renovating my room in all of my free time. Turns out it's effing hard!

#1: If anyone, and I mean ANYONE, ever suggests to you that wallpaper is a good idea, I want you to find a gun and threaten that person with bodily harm until they retract said wallpaper statement. Now, I've never put wallpaper up, but taking it down is my equivalent to hell. The fact that most of the drywall came off with it makes it even worse.

# of times I cried: 2

#2: This wallpaper hell is followed closely by sanding! My father is a relatively handy guy and he's been helping me immensely. But, and there is one...he's in his 60's and recently hurt his knee falling on ice. I can't feel bad for him since he absolutely REFUSES to see a doctor, but that's neither here nor there. This past weekend, he put wall puddy in all of the little holes around the room and the spots that the satanic wallpaper ripped. Turns out there were A LOT of spots. I went in the next day to sand said spots flat. I was sweating profusely, wearing a smelly mask, fogging up my sunglasses (gotta protect the eyes) and getting thoroughly dirty. I wasn't happy. I wasn't built for slave labor. I'm Jewish and live in Maryland. I can't relate to all this construction stuff.

# of times I cried: 1

#3: We ripped up the carpeting so that we could lay wood flooring down and that actually ended up being really fun. On top of getting to hack the carpet into pieces with a knife, I also got to take up the takcstrips that held the carpet down. This involved a crow bar and leverage...and hell if that shit wasn't SERIOUSLY therapeutic! I was popping those strips up with ferocity...it was great!

# of times I cried: 0...unless you count cries of awesomeness

#4: This brings us to painting...which I'm still in the process of doing. The ceiling was a helluva pain in my behind. Then the trim was a helluva pain in my behind...and guess what! So are the walls! Yesterday, my dad popped open the wall color which is sort of a dark mauve, and tried to convince me that it was orange! I'm at work and kind of wigged a little because, really, who wants an orange room? But the color is actually really nice and with a pink tinted cream trim & dark wood flooring it'll look really pretty.

# of times I cried: 1/2...got a bit frustrated but kept my cool.

Tonight the painting should be finished and tomorrow I'm taking off work to lay the flooring. Hooray!

I'm going to take about three million pictures once we're done...and you best believe there will be a before and after on this shiz!

And always remember...

BAD!!!

The Good, The Bad, & The Lupe... -Project Runway 2, Reunion Episode

2006-02-23T11:34:00.000-05:00

Oh, now where to begin?

It's obvious how much I was looking forward to this...I mean with Andrae, Nick and Emmett being back, and the sure moments of hysteria from bonus footage we had never seen, I was peeing my pants by the time 10 o'clock rolled around.

That not totally true...I learned to control my bladder long ago, but I WAS excited...

The Good:

Holy crap! John Wade looks like a whole new person! When I first saw him I figured he was the "nu-Jay" aka: the quirky overweight guy.

Then he got booted from the show and I was proven wrong. He looks great though!

Nick agrees!

Hooray! Nick is back!!!

But seriously, John looks like a whole new person:

Hi non-German Heidi! We hardly new you...

We were treated to this gem last night though..."That guy with the greenish yellow hair. What's his name? What's that? Ray...Ray-mooooondo? Where's he from?"

Oh how quotable you could have been...

The show began with a question of who should have made the top three that didn't and almost immediately Raymundo (Ray-mooooondo)

named "Mr. Verreos", or Uncle Nick, as the obvious choice. Thank you for saying it dear, cuz I've been saying it from day one!

Heidi went on to say how fast Nick's Barbie sold and gave the t-shirt worthy "I'm lucky to have gotten one. They went like bagels!" Then to Tim: "Is that all right?"

Tim proceeded to inform Heidi that the Barbie's actually went like hotcakes, but really...what's one breakfast carb to another?

The best moments came through the montages that the producers provided us with.

We learn through these that:

-Andrae's hissy fit during COYB lasted ten minutes. Fa real?!

-Daniel Franco went all power bitch on Santino on the runway during the lingerie challenge.

-Timpressions are still funny...and will be for a long time coming! Some of the best laughs came from watching DV crack up...

-The designers got REALLY bored and made a musical featuring hits like "Where Did Daniel Franco Go?" "Don't Let Emmett on the Serger" & "Lighten Up! It's Just Fashion..."

This brings us to the Andrae montage!

oh...

my...

god...

I seriously couldn't breathe...it was amazing!

From Chloe imitating his "rolling door" walk, to his accent(s)-"Drat!!", to him being Mary Tyler Moore every time he runs down the street...it was all amazing and made me realize how truly fun he is to watch. I couldn't quite figure why I got so emotional when Andrae was aufed...turns out I kind of love him...

How can you not??

Thank god for Andrae!

Emmett too! Now we hardly heard a peep from Emmett (editing?) but he looked great!

Fabulous new hair and a bit thinner, no?

The Bad:

Most of Project Runway this season has revolved around Santino and about what he'll do next and unfortunately the reunion was no exception...

I do like Santino...I always have to reiterate that...but the montage they showed of his negative comments. Whoa! It was pretty harsh.

I understand the trash talking, but when it was all spliced together it became a smidgen satanic...

He made a backhanded apology and upset poor Diana...and while her meekness bothers the shit out of me, I'd never insult her about it *shrugs*

The "mother fuckin' walk off" was brought up and we were introduced to Shetangy, Zulema's alter ego who, I think, is the dominant personality, but ya know...I'm no doctor...

In a brilliant move by the producers, they had Tarah and Rachael make an appearance to provide to maximum amount of angst possible.

Tarah is still flipping gorgeous!

And Rachael got to show off some spunkiness! Her and Shetangy got into it about why she was dropped. Rachael says it was hell to work with Zu (pins, glue, etc...) & Shetangy says she wanted to let Rachael experience the work of other designers or some bullcrap like that and Rachael came back with this absolute gem: "If you're going to make me put up with that shit, at least send out a bangin' outfit!"

Oh yeah, she went there! And I flippin' LOVE it!

Rachael, you may look like a marshmallow w/ gumby legs, but you shut her down with that, because it's true! You make other pasty white blondes proud:)

And finally...

The Lupe:

Now Lupe is my new word for "crazy" because if you saw any moment where Lupe was speaking, you know what I'm talking about...

From now on, it's not "Everyone here is crazy!", it's "Everyone here is Lupe!!"

I think the first mistake was giving her alcohol. How do you spell awkward? C-O-S-M-O

You mix that shit with whatever pills she was on and you're going to get it back tenfold!

See, no good can come from this!

On another quick note, I'm hoping Kirsten's glass has juice in it...she is preggers ya know! They say a glass of wine doesn't hurt, but when partying with Lupe and Dirty Diana, ya gotta be careful!

So you give the designers an open bar and this is what you get in return:

Tim Gunn: We had a question from Bravotv.com. Arion writes: "Guadalupe..."
Guadalupe: Yay! Arion!
Tim Gunn: Did you feel that your elimination was fair, even though Marla had plagiarized a dress Nicky Hilton had worn before?
Guadalupe: Honestly, I can only give him a personal critique. Nobody would ever know, unless they personally responded to me, would know what my personal response is. And that is of me. And personally, I believe you can't, like, push the boundaries, and like Johnny Cash, Walk The Line, and--

*insert HILARIOUS shot of Daniel V. reacting similarly to the rest of America*

Heidi Klum: This is so confusing. What was the question?
Tim Gunn: I haven't a clue any longer! Did you feel your elimination was fair, given that Marla plagiarized the Nicky Hilton dress? Yes or No?
Guadalupe: Understand that Marla has an aesthetic that I cannot duplicate. But Marla has an aesthetic that she cannot duplicate. And Arion, on national television, if you can get this, you fucking rock because you believe in what is true. Period.
Tim Gunn: This is the biggest bunch of bullshit I think I've heard in weeks.
Guadalupe: I agree as well.

Nick is terrified!

This picture needs no caption...I can GUARANTEE that I had the same expression on my face...

I had to rewind the show...I thought I missed part of the question. It's like she just started speaking words and hoped to make coherent sentences...

...stop hoping dear...

...there is no hope...

...you have failed...

About to pass out? I'm going to go with yes...

Daniel Franco got in on the drunken fun with a little bit of complete awkwardness...

Heidi: Daniel, will we see you in Season Three?

Daniel F.: Well, you just might!

*awkward pause*

Daniel F.: I love you Heidi...

Heidi looked about ready to let Seal take him out. It was an uber-creepy moment!

Daniel was following his bliss around in the form of moving shapes and colors...

In other Daniel Franco news, apparantly he is straight...which Raymundo (Raymooooondo) confirmed (?)

...or not...

I'm not saying he is or isn't, but I will note that my mother has a jacket kind of similar to that...

...I'm just saying.

We end the show with the question of who will win the whole (shetangy) shebang.

Marla thinks Daniel Vosovic will win...

Emmett thinks Chloe will win...

Nick wants to see if Santino will bring it...

Lupe, personally, thinks Johnny Cash will win...

So it's over...I'm having a hard time thinking that I'll never see Nick or Andrae in this setting again. I'll miss their humor a lot:(

We never did find out where the chiffon was...

Until next week when we have part one of the finale...

Auf Wiedersehen mutha fuckas! (I love Uncle Nick)