Black and White and Fug All Over - Project Runway, Episode 10

AKA: The Return of the Fleurchon (Fleurchamp)

wait, we're not in paris anymore? Okay...Fleurchon!

Oh, no!

The producers went THERE!

We all knew that special guests were on their way for this episode for some party and in past seasons we've had such "guests" as a Hilton, past season contestants, judges and Iman. Aside from Iman all of these guests were rather disappointing to viewers.

And this time is absolutely no exception!

Our designers wait in anticipation...


And lo and behold...

Our special guests are...

Angela looks how I felt. Are you serious? So challenge winners get to come back...whatever. There's a reason they were booted in the first place.

It's cuz they kind of suck...no really.

So here are some reactions to our fun, special guest (but not guests, just special) news:

Oh Jeffrey...so typical with your open-mouthed amusement...

I completely heart Laura!

And THIS friends is why I'm a total hag for Kayne...loves it!

So Angela and Vincent are back. That's special.

And our designers are going to be designing a cocktail dress in ONLY black and white. They have to use both non-colors.

Oh, and they must use ALL of the fabric bought at Mood.

Are you serious? I mean really. I've designed before and made plenty of clothes. Using all of your fabric is impossible. You are supposed to buy too much because if you buy too little you're fucked.

Too much gives you room for error. Too much gives you room to cut and perhaps in situations...cut wrong.

Too much is also the MEANEST rule PR has ever had! Incorporating scraps and the rest of your fabric would be the largest pain in the ass there has ever been. Ugh...so harsh.

Anycrap...

Angela and Vincent have to win the challenge to remain in the competition. Blah blah blah, neither of them win because both dresses are mad fug.

The collar was fine and all...for Queen Elizabeth. Unfortch, she's not the guest judge. Zac Posen is...whom I LOOOOOVEEEE!

Fa real?

It's a tube top and an ill-fitting skirt. My dog could have sewn this shit.

I can't even lie though. Angela's idea of putting scraps into the bag was kind of genius.

I know they gave her a bunch of shit for it, but I would have done the same damn thing.

Ugh...worst challenge idea ever.

In other scrap using news...

Uli made the longest hippy dippy necklace known to man.

Tim is straight up like "Burn it now"

But I can't even lie, the dress was hot shit.

It's very Uli, but I kind of dig Uli so I can't hate. I like it.

Jeffrey's model looked like a "Lady of the Night?"

Okay, that's putting it mildly.

She looked like a 14 year-old street ho with major daddy issues, a crack habit, some strange pleather fixation and I think she might be blind in one eye.

And half-blind in the other.

She sort of hot though...what's wrong with me?!

Okay, so I love Michael, and I know he claims to not be gay...

...but I have purse linings suspiciously similar to his blazer.

Things that make you go hmmmmm...

In other news, I love his designs. Oh wait...that's old news.

SO hot! The dress was young and I want it in every color. VERY cocktail party and so chic. Plus, the belt was feirce!

But the big winner was Laura.

FINALLY! Laura has been making the same dress every week. Granted it's fantastic and her attitude makes it even more so, but I was getting bored.

So here we have a black and white knee length dress, but hark! What's that I see?! No plunging v-neck! The angels have smiled upon us folks.

I really didn't think they'd let Laura make fashion week due to her pregnancy. Chloe could barely make it through last season with the help of a bunch of family members. So how would Laura do it all with a baby in her belly?

Oh well, the producers thought she could do it so my baby Kayne got the boot.

NOOOOOOOO!

Okay, that's done with, I got it out of my system.

The dress was FANTASTIC from the front, but the back?

Ew?

It's not that bad, but it's pretty bad. Not as bad as Jeffrey's confused teenage street walker outfit, but I'm not one of the judges.

Where's the white? He could have done a wide white belt or a full white back and been the Yin to Michael's Yang. But instead, he used my old shoelaces to tie together the back.

Plus, I hate his logo tee/pin-stiped pants combo.

Kayne, what's that?

Seriously.

So we have our final four.

Already?!

Uli, Jeffrey, Laura and Michael are still in this shit. If Michael doesn't win, someone should check the planet alignment or something.

Granted, I haven't really looked at the collections yet, but I will...I PROMISE!

Tomorrow we figure out our final three, and then it's reunion time. And if it's anything like last years reunion, there will be LOTS to blog about!

Auf Wiedersehn bitches =)

Not So Haute Couture - Project Runway 3, Episode 9

Ew.

Vincent is gross.

I'm glad he's gone.

Ew.

But seriously, I could have done without any more "It gets me off"s and "Turns me on"s...doesn't this show have a censor button?

Eggs are gross too. Sucks to be Michael's dress.

You know what else is gross? The total LACK of couture in this couture challenge.

It makes me wince a little to say it, but Jeffrey's odd choice of fabric and layered pieces absolutely deserved this win.

And I'm only wincing because he's an asshole.

When I think of couture, I think haute couture which makes me think extravagance in fashion. I think wearable art which isn't meant to be worn.

I even wikipedia'd it and all I got as a fashion entry was "Haute Couture" and this is the essence of it all.

Anyway, wiki says nothing about unwearability, but in all of my fashion classes, that's the gist I got.

Irregardless, I didn't feel much high fashion in this episode, and that's never a good thing...

Jeffrey's was hot though, hands down.

Had he used another fabric it might not have worked, but props for going a little prep-punk and pulling it off.

Too many P's...

An example of something that worked exactly the opposite?

The poofed out collar was fucking fantastic. It created such a neat line and provided huge interest. However, it being black and long and with the ever present v-neck, the dress ended up looking old and totally mime-ish.

I mean really...tell me I'm wrong.

In other news, when did Bad Mommy pop?


Did I miss like a month of this show??

Uli's and Michael's dresses were beautiful, but not couture. Hooray for hand sewn hems and all, but they were both very blah.

Except Michael's bunny ears...those were hot.

So is Nazri for that matter.

But, no worries.

Vincent made it easy for everyone else to stay in the game with an elderly looking dress made of couch upholstery, complete with a fleurchamp...no seriously.


How funny is that sign? She might be off the grid, but Holly Hobbie is there in spirit.

My hands down favorite was Kayne's though.

I know, I know. I'm a total hag for the guy, but I seriously can't help it. I kind of love him and I genuinely like most of his designs.

Including this one...so bite me.

The skirt is absolute perfection! So beautiful. Not couture persay, but gorgeous nonetheless.

And I have no problem with the fact that I'm the only person who actually liked the bodice.

The lacing and fabric detailing was hot.

So goodbye Vincent. You make me cringe, but I can't even lie about your entertainment value.

One last note.

I want to be Catherine Malandrino when I grow up.

Fleurchons On My Ass - Project Runway 3, Episode 8

*sigh*

Goodbye Angela. I guess we'll never see you fully "on the grid".

But HELLO Paris!

And hello Catherine Malandrino. Her complete bitchery is SO welcome with our lack of Michael Kors early in the season. Loves it!

Anyway, I've been insanely busy at work and doing crap on the weekend that my blog has taken a hit in the posting department.

Sorry to anyone who actually reads it!