The Good, The Bad, & The Lupe... -Project Runway 2, Reunion Episode

Oh, now where to begin?

It's obvious how much I was looking forward to this...I mean with Andrae, Nick and Emmett being back, and the sure moments of hysteria from bonus footage we had never seen, I was peeing my pants by the time 10 o'clock rolled around.

That not totally true...I learned to control my bladder long ago, but I WAS excited...

The Good:

Holy crap! John Wade looks like a whole new person! When I first saw him I figured he was the "nu-Jay" aka: the quirky overweight guy.


Then he got booted from the show and I was proven wrong. He looks great though!



Nick agrees!

Hooray! Nick is back!!!

But seriously, John looks like a whole new person:

Hi non-German Heidi! We hardly new you...

We were treated to this gem last night though..."That guy with the greenish yellow hair. What's his name? What's that? Ray...Ray-mooooondo? Where's he from?"

Oh how quotable you could have been...

The show began with a question of who should have made the top three that didn't and almost immediately Raymundo (Ray-mooooondo)

named "Mr. Verreos", or Uncle Nick, as the obvious choice. Thank you for saying it dear, cuz I've been saying it from day one!

Heidi went on to say how fast Nick's Barbie sold and gave the t-shirt worthy "I'm lucky to have gotten one. They went like bagels!" Then to Tim: "Is that all right?"

Tim proceeded to inform Heidi that the Barbie's actually went like hotcakes, but really...what's one breakfast carb to another?

The best moments came through the montages that the producers provided us with.

We learn through these that:

-Andrae's hissy fit during COYB lasted ten minutes. Fa real?!

-Daniel Franco went all power bitch on Santino on the runway during the lingerie challenge.

-Timpressions are still funny...and will be for a long time coming! Some of the best laughs came from watching DV crack up...

-The designers got REALLY bored and made a musical featuring hits like "Where Did Daniel Franco Go?" "Don't Let Emmett on the Serger" & "Lighten Up! It's Just Fashion..."

This brings us to the Andrae montage!

oh...

my...

god...

I seriously couldn't breathe...it was amazing!

From Chloe imitating his "rolling door" walk, to his accent(s)-"Drat!!", to him being Mary Tyler Moore every time he runs down the street...it was all amazing and made me realize how truly fun he is to watch. I couldn't quite figure why I got so emotional when Andrae was aufed...turns out I kind of love him...

How can you not??

Thank god for Andrae!

Emmett too! Now we hardly heard a peep from Emmett (editing?) but he looked great!

Fabulous new hair and a bit thinner, no?

The Bad:

Most of Project Runway this season has revolved around Santino and about what he'll do next and unfortunately the reunion was no exception...

I do like Santino...I always have to reiterate that...but the montage they showed of his negative comments. Whoa! It was pretty harsh.

I understand the trash talking, but when it was all spliced together it became a smidgen satanic...

He made a backhanded apology and upset poor Diana...and while her meekness bothers the shit out of me, I'd never insult her about it *shrugs*

The "mother fuckin' walk off" was brought up and we were introduced to Shetangy, Zulema's alter ego who, I think, is the dominant personality, but ya know...I'm no doctor...

In a brilliant move by the producers, they had Tarah and Rachael make an appearance to provide to maximum amount of angst possible.

Tarah is still flipping gorgeous!

And Rachael got to show off some spunkiness! Her and Shetangy got into it about why she was dropped. Rachael says it was hell to work with Zu (pins, glue, etc...) & Shetangy says she wanted to let Rachael experience the work of other designers or some bullcrap like that and Rachael came back with this absolute gem: "If you're going to make me put up with that shit, at least send out a bangin' outfit!"

Oh yeah, she went there! And I flippin' LOVE it!

Rachael, you may look like a marshmallow w/ gumby legs, but you shut her down with that, because it's true! You make other pasty white blondes proud:)

And finally...

The Lupe:

Now Lupe is my new word for "crazy" because if you saw any moment where Lupe was speaking, you know what I'm talking about...

From now on, it's not "Everyone here is crazy!", it's "Everyone here is Lupe!!"

I think the first mistake was giving her alcohol. How do you spell awkward? C-O-S-M-O

You mix that shit with whatever pills she was on and you're going to get it back tenfold!

See, no good can come from this!

On another quick note, I'm hoping Kirsten's glass has juice in it...she is preggers ya know! They say a glass of wine doesn't hurt, but when partying with Lupe and Dirty Diana, ya gotta be careful!

So you give the designers an open bar and this is what you get in return:

Tim Gunn: We had a question from Bravotv.com. Arion writes: "Guadalupe..."
Guadalupe: Yay! Arion!
Tim Gunn: Did you feel that your elimination was fair, even though Marla had plagiarized a dress Nicky Hilton had worn before?
Guadalupe: Honestly, I can only give him a personal critique. Nobody would ever know, unless they personally responded to me, would know what my personal response is. And that is of me. And personally, I believe you can't, like, push the boundaries, and like Johnny Cash, Walk The Line, and--

*insert HILARIOUS shot of Daniel V. reacting similarly to the rest of America*

Heidi Klum: This is so confusing. What was the question?
Tim Gunn: I haven't a clue any longer! Did you feel your elimination was fair, given that Marla plagiarized the Nicky Hilton dress? Yes or No?
Guadalupe: Understand that Marla has an aesthetic that I cannot duplicate. But Marla has an aesthetic that she cannot duplicate. And Arion, on national television, if you can get this, you fucking rock because you believe in what is true. Period.
Tim Gunn: This is the biggest bunch of bullshit I think I've heard in weeks.
Guadalupe: I agree as well.

Nick is terrified!

This picture needs no caption...I can GUARANTEE that I had the same expression on my face...

I had to rewind the show...I thought I missed part of the question. It's like she just started speaking words and hoped to make coherent sentences...

...stop hoping dear...

...there is no hope...

...you have failed...

About to pass out? I'm going to go with yes...

Daniel Franco got in on the drunken fun with a little bit of complete awkwardness...

Heidi: Daniel, will we see you in Season Three?

Daniel F.: Well, you just might!

*awkward pause*

Daniel F.: I love you Heidi...

Heidi looked about ready to let Seal take him out. It was an uber-creepy moment!

Daniel was following his bliss around in the form of moving shapes and colors...

In other Daniel Franco news, apparantly he is straight...which Raymundo (Raymooooondo) confirmed (?)

...or not...

I'm not saying he is or isn't, but I will note that my mother has a jacket kind of similar to that...

...I'm just saying.

We end the show with the question of who will win the whole (shetangy) shebang.

Marla thinks Daniel Vosovic will win...

Emmett thinks Chloe will win...

Nick wants to see if Santino will bring it...

Lupe, personally, thinks Johnny Cash will win...

So it's over...I'm having a hard time thinking that I'll never see Nick or Andrae in this setting again. I'll miss their humor a lot:(

We never did find out where the chiffon was...

Until next week when we have part one of the finale...

Auf Wiedersehen mutha fuckas! (I love Uncle Nick)

Nations Under Gaude...

It's Winter 2006 and you know what that means...the Winter Olympics are here!

Granted, we're better then halfway through the Olympics already and I've only watched about a minute and a half of hockey, those crazy ski jumpers who look like this: > when jumping, those two speed skaters get way awkward while bitching during a press conference, curling (what an odd sport) and of course...figure skating!

Plus along with figure skating this year, we get figure skatings slutty younger sister...ice dancing!

Now figure skating comes nowehere near my love for gymnastics, but it's about as close as you can get in the middle of winter.

On a side note: as a kid one of my biggest aspirations was to be a gymnast. Too bad I turned out to be 5'9" and ridiculously clumsy *shrugs*

My only issue with figure skating, as beautiful as it is, are the gaudy costumes.

Everywhere you turn, it's sequins!




and fringe!




and neon colors!!



All of these things remind me of Vegas showgirls and certain parts of New Jersey, but somehow it works so incredibly well for the sport of figure skating.

Everything is so deliciously over the top and ugly! How can you not love it?

Plus, the skaters are mostly adorable and always likeable. I had no idea who Kimmy Meisner was, but hell if I didn't get all excited when she was in first place.

And don't get me STARTED on Emily Hughes and how amazingly fierce she looked doing her thing on the ice and owning the fact that she rocked it! Also, how can you not love that fact that her and her sister look like the same person. I don't even know which is which, and the best part is...it doesn't matter!

Try as I might to not get into it, figure skating just sucks me in. Plus it's everywhere! Even Project Runway featured the designers making skating outfits for Sasha Cohen

Who just happened to take first place the other night while NOT wearing anything from PR. Let's face it, they all turned out fug. But perhaps Santino had something going when his design began with the concept of a pheonix rising from the ashes.

Making a skating outfit look like fire on ice is so hot right now:

Of course Santino's ended up looking like a "baboon's ass exploded on her backside":

He wasn't lying either! But me thinks that someone was listening and ran with his idea...

The gaude was toned down a bit by those skaters who opted for pantsuits. I dig the pantsuits...if you're tall enough, they work and look pretty fierce overall. Of course some worked

Better than others...

Tonight we have the continuation of ladies figure skating and I wonder if we won't see any more monkey butts. Maybe if we're lucky, they'll even throw down a cannoli or a zorro mask! One can dream, no?

I'm Smarter Then All Of You!- Project Runway 2, Episode 11

Before we begin, I'd like to give a VERY special thank to the fabulous Rich at FourFour for lending me some screen caps. If you haven't been to his site, click that link! His recaps are spot on and ALWAYS hystercial! Thank you Rich!

Onto the show...

Crap...I miss Nick and Andrae really badly right now.

However, there is a shining light by the name of Austin Scarlett making an appearance this episode and I couldn't be more excited!

Know what's also exciting? We find out the definite top three for Fashion Week this episode. Like we didn't already know that Kara was the decoy, but whatev...

The episode starts and Kara reiterates that "Everyone is crazy" when doing a Santino impression. The impression wasn't actually half bad...she's got the whole demonic whispering thing down pat.

Next we get a gratuitous shot of Daniel V. with no shirt, shorts, slippers and cheerleader hair.

Yeah, I'd hit that.

You don't know what you're missing sweetie...

On another note, I just love that picture!

Okay, back to Project Runway...the producers then decide that it's necessarry to give us a shot of Santino in his underwear....

...again...

No, I'm not posting the picture...it's weird. And the producers can kiss my tootie for doing it in the first place.

Runway time. Heidi tells them that they are designing an evening gown, which we already knew would happen. Racheal is aufed, which we already knew would happen. Heidi also explains that the gown needs to be representative of their FW lines, which I already knew because I'm smart like that. And I took a lucky guess...

Our designers are whisked away by Tim to go visit with Fern Mallis who heads the company 7th on Sixth which coordinates all of the tents at Bryant Park and essentially decides who is in or out...see what I did there?

Anyway, our designers ask some rather intelligent questions which Fern answers like the pro she is. She says it always pays to be nice and everyone immediately thinks about Santino.

At least he's not in his undies, right?

The Santino backlash continues since he stopped being amusing two episodes ago and is now just rude and gaudy. Don't get me wrong, I love the guy but he alienated the hell out of at least three other designers AND Nina Garcia...nerves of steel power bitch. That's rough man...

1 hour to sketch, and a $200 budget (right?) So they sketch away and I assume that they have been thinking about their fashion week lines for some time now and that it shouldn't be too much pressure to come up with something similar to what they've been pondering.

This excludes Kara of course, but I say that with love!

They make their way to Mood w/ Tim in tow and Santino discovers this fabric w/ pailletes on it that reminds me a lot of a purse I bought early last Spring (waayyy before everyone else went and bought one too...just for the record.)

He calls it a "great find" which it is but, if we know Santino (and of course we do) it's got whickety whack written ALL over it!

God I miss Nick:(

Tim's not happy about it either...

Santino is, but at the expense of his feelings since our dear Nick left a message in the ever-dwindling 35D for Daniel to go to the top. Santino says it's unfortunate that him and Nick grew apart or something and Daniel is like "It's unfortunate that your weird trekkie jumpsuit got him aufed"...or something.

At some point Daniel makes a sad attempt at being humble by telling the other designers that it could be him not making fashion week and everyone looks at him like he's insane.

If you looked up the phrases "Shoe-in", "Golden Boy", or "Darling of the Competition" in the dictionary they would all have glossy pictures of Daniel Vosovic all over the page.

Yeah, just like that one...anyway, Tim comes back and tells our designer that the fabulous Iman will be the guest judge and will choose one of the designs to wear to a red carpet event. Cool right? It's better then Ziggy Stardust...

Daniel thinks it's cool. He references the prospect of having Iman wear your design to "shitting a brick". I just have one question...will it come out the tootie?

In other episode news, there is a party at Suede that our designers are whisked away to attend. It actually seemed more like kidnapping judging by the reactions Tim got to telling them to leave their designs halfway through production, but that's alright.

It turned out to be the best kidnapping ever since, for one it was at Suede and Austin was there! The models, Heidi, Jay, Kara Saun and Michael Kors were also there, but Austin completely stole the show with his "You can never be too rich or too thin, I always say. I've already got the thin part down." And he wasn't kidding:

While he looked absolutely beautiful, I'm a little worried. The thin comment was very true...I don't need you turning into Nicole Richie here Austin...I like my fabulous gay designers able to function relatively well. Eat a cookie or something:)

The party was raging with Kara drinking

Jay telling Santino that he hopes he gets canned

and Rebecca and Heather thinking that Jay was HIlarious!

models are evil...funny and possibly tipsy, but evil

And then Michael Kors gave a (drunken) speech to butter the designers up for a beat down the next night...fun, right?!

Chloe claims to not know if she really wants to make fashion week to which the other designers are like "Fa' real?!" and "Are you crazy?" I think that if she's unsure, then there are about 12 other designers who ARE sure that they'd switch places with you. This comment comes back to bite Chloe in her ass when Santino, Daniel and Kara all choose her to not make Fashion Week when asked by Heidi. Not that those comments held ANY baring whatsoever on the decision, but that bite still hurt Chloe's behind.

The night before the show, Santino tells Daniel that he thinks his dress is nice and that he shouldn't worry, and Daniel responds with the snark I've come to love.

"Gee thanks, I'm just hoping to get by."

I knew there was a reason I loved him...aside from the obvious that is. You know, him being a fabulous designer and all...okay, so the snark could be construed as cockiness, but snark is just a prettier word.

It's runway day! Tim pretty much hates everything and thinks it's all boring.

I would have to agree.

*snooze*

Santino proceeds to do a Michael Kors impression about the Renaissance and I start to think that he sort of sounds like Will Ferrell impersonating Harry Carey. Anyone else seeing this?

But it works...

Michael ACTUALLY says "It's almost like you're saying to us, 'I'm smarter than all of you. I know you're all gonna say thre's too much shit all over this dress, but I'm gonna do it anyway and prove my point.'"

Not as funny, but far more poignant and true. Regardless, Santino makes it to FW on this ending note...

I had no idea Mermaid Chic was so hot right now...

Chloe's made Grace's butt look big...congrats Chloe, you've officially done the impossible!

The dress is super boring and I'm not a fan...what happened to Chloe? Sort of like What Happened to Andrae? but not nearly as funny and only 1/3 as fabulous.

Daniel wins...again. Like I said, Golden Boy!!

Did Iman really have a choice though?

Nina doesn't think so! Yes, Daniel's dress was beautiful...all of his pieces are, but it was boring. This is Iman guys! But more importantly, this is for Fashion Week...not to mention $100,000! To quote Michael Kors, I was underwhelmed, but what can you do? Daniel's only real competition for this win could have come from Kara.

Kara also made a beautiful, albeit simple, dress, but the hem on her dress was nonexistant. It was about 3 or 4 inches too short with hanging threads all over. I mean, come on! Hems aren't difficult...I know that for a fact.

So Kara was aufed and I wish that we had seen more from her. Her FW decoy show was flipping awesome, but it left me wondering why her designs were so bland on PR. Oh well, so Santino, Daniel and Chloe are still in the running towards becoming America's Next Top...oh wait, wrong show...my bad...

Funny note about the butt end of this show. Daniel comes backstage after his win and Santino is all "I won!" and Daniel totally pulls a Kara-ish "Are you crazy?" and informs Santino that he had in fact won. Too funny.

So Santino, didn't get to make a dress for Iman, but with three near aufing's he's lucky to be going to Fashion Week...

Daniel said that the dress fit Iman PERFECTLY and he was too cute with all of the excitement.

Next week, we have the reunion!

Nick is back!

Andrae is back!

Emmett is back!

Tim is cursing!!!

"Where the HELL is my chiffon?!"

Andrae, I don't know...but I'll help you find it;)

Well, THAT Didn't Take Long...

Did we really think it would?

The following are the lyrics to a song I heard twice yesterday. When I first heard it, I was like "What did they do to Aerosmith?" Then it dawned on me...oooooooh, CHENEY's Got a Gun...HAHAHAHAH!

I laughed like a moron...here's your chance to join me!


Dumb, dumb, dumb Cheney what have you done
Dumb, dumb, dumb it's the sound of your gun
Dumb, dumb, dumb Cheney what have you done
Dumb, dumb, dumb it's the sound, it's the sound...
Hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, hah

Cheney's got a gun
Cheney's got a gun
His whole world's come undone
Was looking straight at the sun
What did Dick Cheney do?
What did his friend go through

They say the EMT's attested
They found the buckshot in his face
But man, he had it comin'
Now that Cheney's got a gun
Things ain't never gonna be the same

Cheney's got a gun
Cheney's got a gun
His long week's just begun
Comedians havin' fun
Tell us now it's untrue
What did the VP do

He shot his shotgun without caution
The man has got to be insane
They say the stress that he was under
Was just a little blunder
And that buckshot doesn't cause much pain

Run away, run away from the blame
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Run away, run away from the blame
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

Cheney's got a gun
Cheney's got a gun
His long week's just begun
Comedians havin' fun
What did the V.P. do The NRA's IOU

He had to make it look easy
And put some buckshot in his brain
He said cause everyone believes me
That aimin' ain't that easy
And FOX news won't make me take the blame

Run away, run away from the blame
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Run away, run away from the blame
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Run away, run away, run, run away

Cheney's got a gun
Cheney's got a gun
Cheney's got a gun
Everybody is on the run

Cheney's got a gun
His long week has just begun
Now everybody is on the run (Cheney, Cheney what's your problem)
Cause Cheney's got a gun (Tell me it ain't right)
Cheney's got a gun (Was it Cheney's way of talkin')
His long week has just begun (That made you scream at night)
Cheney's got a gun His long week has just begun
Now everybody's on the run Cheney's got a gun

Still laughing a little inside...

You Can't Buy Good Taste- Grills Edition

So who thought that making diamond encrusted retainers was a good idea?

I can sort of understand the idea of a gold or platinum tooth. I can even sort of understand the idea of multiple teeth. I don't think it's attractive and my understanding of it doesn't make it an "okay" investment, but I understand it nonetheless.

What I cannot wrap my mind around (and believe me, my mind is rather vast) is "grills"...or is it "grillz" with a "z"?

Anyway...when I think of grills, or grillz, I think of barbecuing or cooking outdoors if you will.

To an extent I think of George Foreman and the simplicity he has brought to my life.

When I think of grills, I might think of the front end of a car. ie: Cadillac grills

What I don't think of when I hear someone speaking of grills are teeth and diamonds.

I'm not sure how this concept came about, but I do know we lay almost all of the blame on Paul Wall. Don't know who he is? Yeah, neither do I, so here's a lovely photo...

Cute right? My mom would love him.

And those shiny, sparkly things on his teeth...those are grills.

I know right?!

WTF? That's all I got...just wtf?

On top of these things being absolutely repulsive in nature, they are ugly to look at, serve absolutely NO purpose and are insanely expensive!

I get that people want to show off their "bling" and what not, but whatever happened to rings? Maybe a necklace? I can deal with those massive chains with unnecessarily big pendants...I can even deal with the diamond encrusted goblet.

I'd like to thank Lil' John for the visual

Grills I don't understand.

And now, Nelly has rapped a song about grills and how cool they are. I generally like Nelly, but this song sucks.

It's awful. Grills are awful.

If a guy came up to me and was trying to talk to me with all that crap in his mouth, I'd walk the hell away. I might try to convince him to give me the grills first (after a good hosing down), so I could sell them or reset the diamonds into something normal...but I'd still walk the hell away.

On another note...can they even talk with them in?

To me, on top of looking stupid, they look like retainers. I associate retainers with kids and bad teeth.

I see grills and think that they'd make a 6th grader look really really pimp. You'd get all kinds of 6th grade tootie with those in...

Unfortunately, we have grown men wearing them and it's a complete fashion epidemic.

Grills, please go away. What happened to the good old days of hip-hop when wearing a huge clock around your neck was new and edgy?

Instead, we have this:

That's about all I got on these stupid things.

My teeth hurt just looking at them...