Nations Under Gaude...

It's Winter 2006 and you know what that means...the Winter Olympics are here!

Granted, we're better then halfway through the Olympics already and I've only watched about a minute and a half of hockey, those crazy ski jumpers who look like this: > when jumping, those two speed skaters get way awkward while bitching during a press conference, curling (what an odd sport) and of course...figure skating!

Plus along with figure skating this year, we get figure skatings slutty younger sister...ice dancing!

Now figure skating comes nowehere near my love for gymnastics, but it's about as close as you can get in the middle of winter.

On a side note: as a kid one of my biggest aspirations was to be a gymnast. Too bad I turned out to be 5'9" and ridiculously clumsy *shrugs*

My only issue with figure skating, as beautiful as it is, are the gaudy costumes.

Everywhere you turn, it's sequins!




and fringe!




and neon colors!!



All of these things remind me of Vegas showgirls and certain parts of New Jersey, but somehow it works so incredibly well for the sport of figure skating.

Everything is so deliciously over the top and ugly! How can you not love it?

Plus, the skaters are mostly adorable and always likeable. I had no idea who Kimmy Meisner was, but hell if I didn't get all excited when she was in first place.

And don't get me STARTED on Emily Hughes and how amazingly fierce she looked doing her thing on the ice and owning the fact that she rocked it! Also, how can you not love that fact that her and her sister look like the same person. I don't even know which is which, and the best part is...it doesn't matter!

Try as I might to not get into it, figure skating just sucks me in. Plus it's everywhere! Even Project Runway featured the designers making skating outfits for Sasha Cohen

Who just happened to take first place the other night while NOT wearing anything from PR. Let's face it, they all turned out fug. But perhaps Santino had something going when his design began with the concept of a pheonix rising from the ashes.

Making a skating outfit look like fire on ice is so hot right now:

Of course Santino's ended up looking like a "baboon's ass exploded on her backside":

He wasn't lying either! But me thinks that someone was listening and ran with his idea...

The gaude was toned down a bit by those skaters who opted for pantsuits. I dig the pantsuits...if you're tall enough, they work and look pretty fierce overall. Of course some worked

Better than others...

Tonight we have the continuation of ladies figure skating and I wonder if we won't see any more monkey butts. Maybe if we're lucky, they'll even throw down a cannoli or a zorro mask! One can dream, no?