Festivus, For the Rest of Us

Happy Non-Denominational Holidays everyone!

Being that I have a Jewish mother, and a Christian Father I find it easier to just dump all holidays under one general statement. Granted, I was raised mostly Jewish and consider myself a heeb, we also had a Christmas tree every year and always got together with my mother's predominantly Jewish family on Christmas night for dinner.

Maybe I'm just confused.

Maybe I should move to Canada and just celebrate Boxing Day to ease the conflicting holidays in my mind.

That would be silly though. Who would WANT to move to Canada?

I'm kidding...sort of. At least it's better then Jersey.

Anyway, I'm getting off track.

I just got some cool shit for Christmas/Hannukah.

Eff it. I got some cool shit for Festivus.

My sister got me a Chris Cooley jersey...effing sweet!

I got a hot new watch, some spinning shoes, some D&G Light Blue perfume, some hot boots a la Anne Taylor Loft, a fitness watch that will measure my calories burned during workouts, a handheld Sudoku machine and some other awesome and thoughtful gifts.

Aside from all the goodies, I want to take some time out to talk about family.

Oh super cheesy!!

No really. My family rocks really hard. We've always been tight as hell due to traumatic circumstances and have managed to keep ourselves open and honest with each other. Lately, things have been changing with my brother being engaged and my sister being at school and me fledgling a pseudo-career around.

Thank god for my brother who sat us all down and laid it all out. We were kind of losing each other, and that's not good folks. Not that we weren't as close as we could be, but we had developed bad and stressful habits that were making our lives more difficult then they need to be.

So, this Festivus, we all made resolutions to better ourselves for our sake and each others =)

My first task is to finish my room renovation. Yeah, the room renovation that began here. Granted, my room looks killer and everything, but there's little shit left to do that should have been done months ago. My lazy ass needs to get moving.

So people, get ready for the pictures that I promised here.

This post has essentially no relevance to anything other then the fact that I'm semi-inspired and bored at work. NOBODY is here today!

Which also means that nobody is here to tell me that I can't leave.

Go home early much?

I'm outta here!

Happy Holidays everyone!

They Travel in Packs...cold, bare-legged packs...

So I was in Philly this past weekend shopping for bridesmaid dresses and drinking heavily. The usual stuff.

So I'm driving into the city, past 30th St. Station and lo and behold...what is it that I see??

Why, three girls (likely freshmen) huddled together on the corner in...wait for it...

Mini-skirts.

UGG boots.

...and down jackets.

My first instinct was to take a picture so that I could look at it and laugh whenever I felt sad or angry.

My next instinct was to yell at them to put on some pants, for the love of God!

But mostly, I just laughed and shook my head and appreciated the fact that I'm not a moron.

I figure that if it's cold enough to need a winter jacket and snow boots, perhaps we should rethink the crotch length attire on our bottom half.

This is what these bitches looked like:

Yeah, I made a cartoon version of these girls...so what?

PUT ON SOME PANTS!!

Oh, and the summer of 2004 called, I couldn't tell you why, but they want their trends back.

Michael Kors MUST be a Genius!

So, I'm a really pretty girl...

I hate to sound cocky, but it's true and I can't really deny it. I'm obviously fashion oriented and for a plus-sized woman, I wear clothes rather well.

I also make it a point to try to look as put-together as possible when leaving the house. Saturdays and Sundays are the exception on those occasions where I'm pretty sure I might still be drunk, am probably delirious and feel so poorly I could care less that the over sized sweater I'm wearing doesn't quite cover the hole in the ass of my jeans.

Anyway, most days, I think I look pretty hot.

Folks, today I have brought it to a whole new level!

Tonight there is an office party that I will be in attendance at. I wanted to look nice, but not obnoxious, so I paired my swingy black Michael Kors skirt with my kimono half-sleeved read sweater from Ann Taylor Loft. Throw on some black pants and coordinating beads and I'm good to go.

Everyone and their mother keeps telling me how nice/festive/dressy I look.

That's nice and everything, but do I look like a hobo on all other days? It's raining, and my hair looks like blond ass, yet I have had more people compliment me today then ever before.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy attention as much as anyone, but it's a little perplexing.

Especially since I've worn this exact outfit before. In fact, I wore it last week, except I had black pants on instead.

So, I ask this. Mr. Kors, what is it that you do to your clothes that makes them so appealing in the eyes of others?

Oh, and where do you tan? Sorry, I had to ask.

I have concluded that I must go out and buy as many MK pieces as possible to look as good as I do now...go everyone! Shop freely!

I have also concluded that I'm going to be one hot bitch at this party...here's to hoping I keep it sober enough to refrain from dancing on tables. And that tomorrow won't be a holy-ass-big-sweater day;)