Naturally Blonde

I'm blonde. What's your excuse?

I may play the fool at times but I'm a little more than just a pretty blonde girl with an ass that won't quit.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Do You Believe in Life After...Runway? Season 3- Episode 5

I was thinking about calling this post "Bye Bye Bradley" and doing a whole "Bye Bye Birdie" thing, complete with new lyrics to the song and shit...then I realized I was way too lazy.

Plus, when I started looking for pictures of Cher, I realized how amazingly high-fashion she was, is and always will be. So I ask this question...What the hell Bradley?!

How can anyone in the design industry not be familiar with at least ONE of Cher's looks to recreate?

And on top of that, he didn't ONCE mention the name of the fabulous and fierce Bob Mackie.

Clearly, our dear Bradley was not familiar with Cher and her mulititudes of style.

My absolute favorite looks she had were during the Sonny and Cher days. The stunning long black hair and killer outfits by the one and only Mr. Mackie...shut the eff up!

Now, as much as I heart Bradley, his misknowledge of the fantastic Cher had me in total agreement with his aufing.

This is what our dear Bradley came up with...

Why couldn't Bradley have drawn inspiration from one of these fabulous looks?

He COULD have sent his model down naked according to Cher's past fashions...

Which I could have dealt with just fine.

It would have been better then his foil topped skinny white pant outfit from hell.

I could have even dealt with THIS...

And we all know how trashtastic that outfit least it made a statement. One that said more then take me to your leader...and his camel toe.

Hell, I would have preferred THIS too...

At least it was hot in it's time, no?

Shit, it would have been better on his model at least. And no camel toe!

Bradley recreated a Cher look that has never existed...and he did it badly.

Bradley gave up and there was no Birthday fairy to save him this time.

Bradley is a squid with no ocean.

Bradley is a designer with no runway...

But hey! Everyone else kind of kicked ass on this challenge...

And check it out...Keith released Michael Kors from his dungeon filled with sewing books and tiny women with itty bitty sewing machines who were making his clothes for him.

The Kors is back...

And as bitchy as ever.

My other favorite Michael won this challenge which pitted the models against each other in a battle of pure luck and bony elbows.

The luck came from the velvet bag, button picking ceremony in which the models chose their designers. Bradley was last and chose that, poor-man's Katie Holmes before she was brainwashed, girl.

The bony elbows came from this:

An all out pussy fight to choose a style icon that their designer would work with.

And the pairings were a little bit of perfection most of the way around.

I completely geeked out when I found out that Kayne's icon would be Marilyn Monroe. I sort of love him and I ABSOLUTELY love her, so my happiness was fueled to it's brink.

He was very close to having another win under his belt with this fabulous slinky black number.

And IN that slinky black number was Amanda. And we find out that Amanda likes to talk...and talk...and talk...and talk...and talk some more.

Kayne's reaction was fantastic and he was very quotable with his quote that models "should be pretty and seen and don't open your mouth."

That reminds me of Arrested Development and the school that Buster went to where children were neither seen or heard...great show Arrested Development was...great show.

But back to the point, Kayne didn't win.

As we all know, the actual winner was Michael...


He designed for Pam Grier and shit y' was smokin'!


The other designer in the top three was Angela. Wait, wha?

Yeah, Angela has been stepping her shit up lately and kicking ass. I really loved her first challenge outfit and then her fight with Vincent turned everyone off. Following this, her bubble skirt fiasco had most of us throwing up in our mouths, and I figured Angela was on her way auf.

Little did we all know that Angela has this cool ability to keep her crazy button turned to off at times and she ends up with some killer pieces.

Who knew?

And while Angela dresses like a hobo with a bladder problem most of the time...

She a really, really pretty girl.

Even when she's defending herself against Jeffrey and his quacking.

Speaking of Duck Man, what the fuck was this?

Maybe he should spend less time quacking and more time at Madonna concerts...

Bad Mommy was involved in this quack fight as she tried to defend Angela. Jeffrey said he wished she would have a stroke or something.

First of all, that's seriously evil.

Second of all, Bad Mommy could kick your ass if she had a wonky eye, no legs and six fingers total...

She's a bad ass mother and a stone cold bitch. A stroke is barely a blip on Bad Mommy's radar.

And if her sidekick, Captain Save-A-Ho ever reveals his true self, they'd make an unstoppable team...

In other news, Robert has just become the most boring designer in Project Runway history.

He designs for Barbie...when did he become so incredibly bland?

It's linen! It's beige! It's...zzzzzzzzz......

Sorry, I passed out from boredom.

Let's get to Vincent and his Twiggy meets Braveheart concoction.

Wait, I lied. Let's first examine this picture and realize that Bradley's aufing was incredibly imminent.

Bradley, dear, if Vincent of all people is looking at your design like "Tha fuck is this?", you know you're in trouble.

Onto TwiggyHeart...

This was almost majorly perfect. Vincent's first mistake was not using knee high boots. I could care less if they were available or not...if you're going to do Twiggy, you're going to do mod.

And to be quite honest, mod is relatively simple. Big bold blocks of color and funky accessories. Not to mention boots. How did he not do boots?!

Secondly, had Vincent simply changed the plaid parts of the design to white, he would have accomplished the mod, block colored, look with a cool twist. I could have even dealt with those pockets on it.

At least he didn't make a hat.

Thank god for small favors, no?

So, our dear Bradley is gone...who's going to compare themselves to animals outside of their element now? I'll kind of miss that.

Next week, the designers visit some sort of factory.

Is it too much to hope that they'll leave Jeffrey there?



Blogger eric3000 said...

OMG, Alicia Silverstone as Cher; that's genius!

7:35 PM, August 16, 2006  
Blogger Ruthie said...

I love it!

11:06 AM, September 29, 2006  

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