With Their Tanks and Their Bombs

As some of you may know, last month I began doing some contract work for the FBI Academy in Quantico, VA. I was sort of excited about it, but apprehensive to leave my old office. The good thing is that I have the option of going back if I want.

And I totally want!

The FBI is mad boring, peoples. I make copies all day and it sucks. Who needs four years of college to do that? Plus, the commute down here is terrible and it's even worse getting home.

I guess the people who work here are cool, but I miss my friends in DC...that and the other admin is incredibly lazy and gives me all the bitch work. I kind of want to kick her most of the time except that she's really nice. *shrugs*

The one cool thing about being down here is all the explosive devices one can find on a daily basis.

The Marine Corps base is also hear and about three times a week you can hear them testing bombs on site. It shakes the whole building. Awesome.

Also, I park right across the way from the firing ranges, so each morning, I see training agents shooting stuff. It's kind of cool, although I hope nobody ends up going postal one day and deciding it would be a great idea to terrorize the campus.

That, and my car feels threatened by the vicinity in which it is to the guns. Here's to hoping no misfires occur near my baby!

So aside from people blowing crap up all day, this job sort of sucks. I roll my eyes at least ten times each day and it's starting to give me a headache.

I just got to figure some things out before heading back to my original office. And I just got some interesting news that someone in our marketing department is leaving...re-he-heally?

Looks like it's time to start schmoozing!

I Have No Words for American Idol This Week...

Okay, I lied.

I have many words. Most of them are negative and directed to the little, confused, Indian one.

What.

The.

Fuck?

I'll elaborate in a moment, but really...what the fuck?

On top of his hair absolutely terrifying me, he just plain sucks.

I figure that he had to be good at some point to make it this far, but seriously? Bathwater? Why did you have to eff that up for me manboy?! I love that song, and for the next week I'm going to have your version stuck in my head!

That and you wearing a faux hawk of tiny, tiny ponytails. So thanks...you've ruined my week. And my ears. And my appreciation of my hair straightener. And my banana.

Okay, that last one isn't your fault. My banana is just overly ripe.

But still! I want to slap you around, make you eat a sandwich and take you to a barber stat!

Anyway, I'm done with that. If this little shit doesn't get voted off soon, I'm going to shave my head in protest.

Of course, then I'll look like Phil Stacey, only without the scary eyebrows.

Speaking of Phil (sweet segue!) he was rather good last night. In fact, everyone was rather good. That is, aside from a few notable crash and burns. But, back to Phil. He seems to really be trying hard to make his melodies as good as his big notes and it shows. Team Baldie!

Lakisha, Melinda and Jordin were fantastic as usual, but Lakisha is getting a bit boring and Melinda's schtick about her being all shy and modest is going to get old soon.

Gina was impressive with her song last night and she sort of killed it and sounded awesome. If she keeps up with the big vocals, she'll be a contender for the finals.

Blake was good as always, if not a little boring. Whatever, he's cute and sort of twitches when he sings which make me feel better about twitching on my own time.

Chris Richardson was alright. He has a pretty voice and a prettier face, but I don't know if he's long for this competition. His song choices lately have been boring or a little strange. "Don't Speak" has a lot of difficult middle to high notes that sounded off on a guys voice. Plus, I think he stumbled the words.

I think I'm just mad that I didn't get to sing that shit on AI. I effing love that song.

I'm over Chris Sligh. Yeah he's funny and can sing alright, but his Christian Rock thing and his affinity for lisping while singing is pissing me off. Haley sort of sucks and should never do a slow song again. The girl has great legs though, and hell if she doesn't know it. Short skirts say wha?

Chris S and Haley will be in the bottom two, but if there is any justice in this world, Sanjaya will rid us of his reign of hair don'ts tonight.

A Tooth for a Tooth

I think that my dentist is out to get me.

No.

Seriously.

A few months ago (September I believe) I went to get my teeth checked out/cleaned. All was well until I was told that I had some cavities.

Shocked and appalled, I felt that they were surely wrong! I brush twice daily, and floss when I feel a desire to. Plus, I've NEVER had a cavity in my life! And I was one of those sugar obsessed children and everything.

Alas, they were right. Not only did I have visible cavities that needed fillings, but everytime I went in for said fillings, the doc found MORE cavities!

Say wha? This wasn't happening to me! It couldn't be! Something must be going seriously wrong here!

I went to see my dentist about thirty million times before I finally had all my teeth good to go.

Fast forward a few months later and I'm having serious tooth pains. So, since I consider myself a doctor, I went on webMD and diagnosed myself with trench mouth.

The Horror!!

I didn't have trench mouth (thank god!) but I did have a pretty severe abscess complete with a dead root and an all around effed up molar. And don't get me started on the PAIN!

Anyway, I had a root canal procedure done, and $1500 (or so) later, I felt much better. Two weeks went by and I went back for the okay to have a crown put on my newly de-rooted tooth. Stupid me, indicates that another tooth was sort of hurting, and lo and behold...I need yet another root canal on a bicuspid.

Greeeaaaat...

Anyway, so far the abscess on that tooth isn't healing and I may need to have the tooth extracted.

Fantastic, my dream of looking like white trash may finally come true.

I went to my general dentist this morning expecting him to turn into Satan or something, but he just said that I will need a crown on the non-healing bicuspid and will likely not need one in the molar. The risk there is that if the filling should break below the gum line, I will lose my tooth.

Effing great. So I either pay an additional $1300 for a crown which I MAY not need, or I hope the filling stays in tact. Hoping is free though, so I guess it has that going for it.

My teeth suck total ass.

On top of being expensive, this shit hurts.

It's creating a huge obstacle in my whole plan to move out and be self-sufficient which also kind of blows.

Thank god for my parents for loving me enough and not throwing me out on the street. However, it is their gene pool that is leading to all of my teeth maladies.

Double edged swords! Why must you taunt me so!

Until next time, here's to hoping my teeth quit trying to jump out of my face.

The Comeback Kids

At least that's what my mom calls us.

And by us, I mean me and all of the girls I stay in touch with from high school.

The meaning of our new-fangled nickname is simple. We have all graduated from college and are back to living at home. We all have full time jobs and are rather self-sufficient other then our inability to live on our own. So I guess that doesn't make us self-sufficient at all.

Now, for over a year, I felt as though I was all alone in the Comeback Kid world. I had a job, but wasn't making squat for a long time and could barely afford to pay on my loans let alone any form of rent. That's not to mention my car payments, phone payments and the occasional bar tab. Does at least twice a week count as occasional?

Anyway, little did I know, that some old friends from high school were in a very similar situation. I am not alone!

Sure, one of my friends made a go of it on U Street for a few months before imminently moving back again. And another friend is in med school at GW and has her own place, but I figure that doesn't count since she's still in school. It makes no difference to me that she's going to be able to save my life one day.

My question is this: Is this normal? Am I in a bubble where only a select few underacheivers are doing this as the norm? Or could it be that the majority of my graduating class is in the same boat?

Almost everyone I have worked with at my full-time jobs has their own place, but most of these people are from out of town. In a situation like that, you don't have a choice. Of course in my situation, I don't have a choice either.

I'm simply not making enough money. Granted, I will be one day, but until then, am I just burdening my loving family by being horribly average?

With my loans, my car, my phone, and newly acquired hospital and dental bills, I don't see myself moving for awhile. And don't even get me started on the three weddings I am involved in during the latter part of this year.

My delusions of grandeur about saving money keep being pushed aside as time goes on. So what gives? Is this what adult-hood is really all about? I didn't sign up for this.

Unfortunately it seems that this is the case for most people. Scraping each paycheck for bills until you are sucked bone dry and crying in a corner.

I think I need to spend the little money I do have to go hunting for a rich husband. I hear Chris Cooley makes a lot of money, you know, or Jake Gyllenhaal, or you know, Madonna.

Either that, or I need to put my random and limited talents to good use. Write a best-selling book that gets made into an Oscar winning motion picture starring the always lovely and loveable Dame Judi Dench? Maybe. Become a rock star with devoted fans and a large following of meerkat activists? Perhaps. Campaign for Angelina Jolie to adopt me? Why the heck not? Work my way up the corporate ladder and make money on my own? Sure...

Oh who am I kidding? Like that last one is actually feasible.

A Plumber I Ain't

So, the sink in my house got stopped up today and apparantly, it was easier for me to get under the sink and do the dirty work then my dad.

Fortunately for him, I think I did it all right. I guess we'll find out in a week or so if the sink explodes.

Unfortunately for me, there was a ton of half ground up food that made it's way out of one of the pipes. Nasty say wha? I had the pleasant duty of cleaning it up.

What an unfortunate way to spend an hour.

My dad then tried to convince me that I should be a plumber since they make a lot of money.

No, I'm good. So is my butt crack. I figure enough people probably saw it in college.

I'd rather make the big bucks doing something more fun...like selling myself on the streets of Chinatown. That brings up the butt crack problem again, though.

I guess time will tell, no?