I Have No Words for American Idol This Week...

Okay, I lied.

I have many words. Most of them are negative and directed to the little, confused, Indian one.

What.

The.

Fuck?

I'll elaborate in a moment, but really...what the fuck?

On top of his hair absolutely terrifying me, he just plain sucks.

I figure that he had to be good at some point to make it this far, but seriously? Bathwater? Why did you have to eff that up for me manboy?! I love that song, and for the next week I'm going to have your version stuck in my head!

That and you wearing a faux hawk of tiny, tiny ponytails. So thanks...you've ruined my week. And my ears. And my appreciation of my hair straightener. And my banana.

Okay, that last one isn't your fault. My banana is just overly ripe.

But still! I want to slap you around, make you eat a sandwich and take you to a barber stat!

Anyway, I'm done with that. If this little shit doesn't get voted off soon, I'm going to shave my head in protest.

Of course, then I'll look like Phil Stacey, only without the scary eyebrows.

Speaking of Phil (sweet segue!) he was rather good last night. In fact, everyone was rather good. That is, aside from a few notable crash and burns. But, back to Phil. He seems to really be trying hard to make his melodies as good as his big notes and it shows. Team Baldie!

Lakisha, Melinda and Jordin were fantastic as usual, but Lakisha is getting a bit boring and Melinda's schtick about her being all shy and modest is going to get old soon.

Gina was impressive with her song last night and she sort of killed it and sounded awesome. If she keeps up with the big vocals, she'll be a contender for the finals.

Blake was good as always, if not a little boring. Whatever, he's cute and sort of twitches when he sings which make me feel better about twitching on my own time.

Chris Richardson was alright. He has a pretty voice and a prettier face, but I don't know if he's long for this competition. His song choices lately have been boring or a little strange. "Don't Speak" has a lot of difficult middle to high notes that sounded off on a guys voice. Plus, I think he stumbled the words.

I think I'm just mad that I didn't get to sing that shit on AI. I effing love that song.

I'm over Chris Sligh. Yeah he's funny and can sing alright, but his Christian Rock thing and his affinity for lisping while singing is pissing me off. Haley sort of sucks and should never do a slow song again. The girl has great legs though, and hell if she doesn't know it. Short skirts say wha?

Chris S and Haley will be in the bottom two, but if there is any justice in this world, Sanjaya will rid us of his reign of hair don'ts tonight.