Are You Ready to Runway - Project Runway Season 4, Episode 1

Aaaaaand, we're back!

It's been ages since I've blogged, so forgive me what few readers I maintain. I've had nothing to blog about as I live an exceedingly boring life and live vicariously through aspiring fashion designers.

When we last left the Runway, Jeffrey won the whole thing with a pretty rockin' Bryant Park collection, Laura Bennett became my hero and Heidi Klum had 3000 more babies.

But it's time for season 4 and you know what that means!! Pre-judging on all accounts. What fun!

I have seen the photos of the pre-runway Runway show, and so I developed biases and opinions. Imagine that!!

So far I'm loving on Jillian, Chris, Christian, Jack, Sweet P and Rami.

After the first episode, not much has changed.

The formula is the same, with a few noteable changes. Bluefly and Gotham being the main ones. That and Tim's title is different. But this all matters naught, because Tim is BACK!

Lordy, I was going through withdrawal.

The world makes sense all of a sudden! Tim Gunn is my drug and you bitches can make me go to rehab.

Now that that's over, we have introductions and people meeting and blah blah blah. Let's get down to the goods, shall we?

The designers meet Tim and Heidi at Bryant Park and are forced to Amazing Race it across a big field to a tent of $50K worth of fabric.

I love that Sweet P took her shoes off. A girl after my own heart. I can't tear apart expensive fabric in heels. Nor would I do it in leggings, but that's a whole other story.

So poor Chris March almost has a heart attack, because newsflash: He's a bit chubbly. Fortunately he claims to have gotten the fabric he would have wanted. He's either lucky or lying. I like him already.

Hilariously, there is only one fabric not chosen. These designing bitches tear apart the tent fabric but leave this poor dead animal:

It's all very "The Cheese Stands Alone".

But for reals, it's ugly.

Maybe Kit Pistol could have used it for a pillow?

It looks softer then that bag. And Kit Pistol? Seriously? I dig a girl with a point of view and all, but come on.

So the designers are to make a design that expresses their vision or some such thing. Basically you have free reign with this fabric to do what you want. Sort of similar to season two but with good fabric instead of crap muslin.

Interestingly, to me at least, I imagine each piece in muslin just to assess the design more then how the fabric was working with the design. Opinions on that later though.

We're back in the workroom, making it work and carrying on and Rami has a beautiful body...

Disagree with me, I dare you.

The designers work and bitch and bitch and work and Christian says he's "kind of a big deal."

I'd hate to break it to you darling, but you're "kind of" a few years too late to still be saying that.

Tim mentions the Blue Fly wall being at the designers disposal and I can't lie, it's the best accessories wall they've had. I love Blue Fly.

Wants it! All of it!

In the mean time, Elisa is a total nutbag and I love her. She's already been pegged Earth Mother by fans and it's quite suitable. She's all "I love tea and grass and the world and air and teal scrunch boots." I like her already.

Turns out she's quite talented as well, but the whole marionette thing scares the shit out of me. Thankfully there are no pictures, otherwise I'd be hiding under my bed right now.

In the workroom, there is a lot of editing toward Simone and Elisa, so you already know they're going to eff up royally. Whatevs. Tell me how to think Bravo. It makes my life easier.

Speaking of the workroom, I notice that Ricky has an affinity for hats.

Well, that's not good.

It gets slightly worse though, as the designer head to the runway, Ricky's changed his hat.

Oh.

No.

You are aware that you are essentially wearing a train conducter's hat, right Ricky?

See the similiarities?

True story. Ricky has always dreamed of being a train conducter. This whole lingerie fashion thing is a total side gig for his real ambitions.

Well, Ricky, now your dream has come true!

He looks so blissful!

But, back to the fashion at hand.

I barely remember what Ricky sent on the runway as I've seen it before at Vicky' Secret. Pretty, but boring. He was in the bottom three, but thankfully he's safe!

I want to keep making fun of his hats =)

In other news, it seems that to relieve runway stress the designers perform cheerleading routines.

Hop on Christian!! We'll totally basket toss you!!!

I guess it turns out the designers were actually doing yoga or something.

But since the producers didn't show us these clips but posted the pics on Bravo's website, I'm just going to keep making shit up.

That being said, I like Sweet P's dress a lot. That is all. I will wait here for MY basket toss.

Somewhere, I'll recap the fashion. Let's do it now!

What I liked:

Rami. His dress was draped beautifully and it won. Draping ain't easy folks. I must say that I definitely agree with those who thought it was very Grecian and toga like.

She looks very at home, no?

It was a beautiful dress, but I'm not so sure it should have won.

I much preferred Christian's look. It was incredibly intricate and fashion forward.

A lot of folks didn't like the fabrics he used, but this takes me back to seeing everything in muslin. I, personally, liked the plaid and thought it was very chic, but if you saw this look in muslin it would still be stylish, and well constructed. I also thought it was the most interesting look on the runway. Trendy, but original.

Christian also looks a lot like my main gay's boyfriend. Maybe that's why I like him so much.

Anycrap, I also thought Jillian's look was very strong.

Fun and flirty and the color was wonderful. Plus, the shoes were hot as hell.

Jack's was great as well.

When he was first talking about the blue, black and white together and I thought of my high school mascot (those were our colors). But it came out so wearable and adorable. Love it.

Seeing the runway, Chris March's dress made the biggest impact for me. The way his fabric caught the light and shimmered was absolutely breathtaking. It was my initial favorite.

I went back to the whole muslin thing though. If this were in a less beautiful fabric it may not have gone over so well. It's still constructed masterfully and the detailing it wonderful.

Is that a giant fleurchon?!

I take back everything!

Just kidding! The design was great, but I do think Christian's was more innovative.

So I've gone over the good. And I'm about to do the bad. But I'd like to go over the hilarious first.

Steven's outfit was incredible in construction and detailing, but I couldn't help but get an overwhelming flight attendant vibe from it.

I was going to photoshop his model in front of a plane or something, but then I found the best picture ever.

Okay, so I know that the whole "real doll" thing is so hot right now, but this is a little ridiculous!

Did Steven happen to go to the Robert Best School of Designing for Barbie?

The bad. Naturally, it consists of Simone and Elisa.

Earth Mother is seriously talented. Her dress was cut on one seam! And I can't lie, the top was alright.

But girl! I have two words for you. Ed. It.

Plus those boots are fug. This is a total scrolldown for hideous fashion. The bottom was 15 kinds of horrid. She just threw shit at it. Unfortunately it stuck.

She was even all "My instincts said to stop." No shit. Then she made this weird noise to simulate scissors cutting the fabric poo off. I wish I could spell out the noise, but I can't. Just know it was awesome.

As we all know, Simone got the boot. Her dress was ugly and crappily made.

And that jacket was ill fitting.

And the hair was ugly. And the shoes were boring.

And I was unsurprised by her auf'ing.

Elisa overdid it, but she at least has skills.

So, the show is back and my photoshopping skills are lacking.

All important ingredients for a season of fun!! We're sure to have standout personalities and bitch fights galore.

Not to mention the fashion ;)

I can't wait! Can you?

Until next time, it's "sew" time to go watch football.

Kisses, bitches!