Naturally Blonde

I'm blonde. What's your excuse?

I may play the fool at times but I'm a little more than just a pretty blonde girl with an ass that won't quit.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Product. Placement. Project Runway, Season 5, Episode 7

Oh my goodness kids, I am so sad I didn't get a full blog post in for the DRAG QUEEN episode!

I feel terrible but my schedule has been, to quote Suede, whackadoodle lately.

I would like to touch on last week's episode a little bit. Thank GOD Daniel is gone. How annoying can one smarmy, greasy little design boy be? At least he wasn't talking about his "impeccable" taste a whole lot.

I've noticed that there are so many bitchy little designers this season. Not like fun bitchy, like past seasons, but whiny, passive aggressive bitchy. Get overself, if you aren't established enough in the industry to have to be on this show, then your shit still smells.

Congrats to Joe though! Who knew token straight guy would pull it off? Korto's was gorgeous and Terri's was super striking, but Joe really hit the nail on the head with his sailor outfit.

Alright enough about the queens. Let's move on to this week's show!

We open on Kenley saying that Daniel was her bff on the show. I had already lumped her in the whiny bitchy designer category so this makes sense.

Hey guys, did you know that Heidi has a part time gig as a referee?

For this week's challenge, she sends them on a trip to the rooftop of some building and Blanorexic thinks they might be designing for some superstar while Korto think's they're going to Mariah Carey's penthouse. These people have clearly never watched this show.

Kenley is "scaaaareed!!" Shut up.

They get to the top and it's all very Oprah, "You won a car!!"

You won a pile of crap!

Obviously that's not it. Each of the four cars is stocked with materials made to construct Saturn cars. Oh yeah, did you all know Saturn is a sponsor for this show?

The itsy Saturn man calls for them to "Go!" and I half expected him to tell them to "Go shake it!" Rene Fris makes me giggle.

It looks like everyone goes running for the same car, except Jerrell who seems to have enough sense to go in the other direction.
They look like the homeless ladies on the corner near my old job.

My god, Suede is talking in first person. Unfortunately he just said whackadoodle. Wonderful.

Everyone gets to work and RatTail interviews that he wants to tone down his garment to please the "****ing judges". You don't want to please them, you want to impress them. And quit being a douche. And cut your hair.

Suede says whackadoodle again. He's back to talk in third person. Someone shoot me.

Great now he's talking about his dead father which makes me sad. Is he going to have a new dead relative for each challenge? Just saying.
You guys, my hands are like the perfect shade of tan.

Tim sends in the models for a fitting and he tells Kenley that her model had to drop out and they are replacing her with Germaine. So she naturally overreacts completely and whines like a total twit.

Jerrell said she probably booked a job that was paying her money and I laugh like a total moron because I thought he said she booked some GUY that was paying her money. Hehe.

Kenley's all well it's all about me right now. When is it not, honey?
Where's Mariah when you need her?
Alright we need to jump ahead because I have to go to the grocery store. Oh wait, Keith is a total bitch and everyone hates him. I think it's the rat tail.
Runway time! The models all do their walks and I must say that everyone did a relatively decent job this episode. It's hard to identify that these are car parts so good on you designers!
Laura Bennett is sitting in for Miss Nina and thank god it isn't Anne "Too much tootie" Slowey. Rachel Zoe is also there and her face should be a good wake up call for Blayne to quit tanning so damn much.
The judges start with Jerrell:
His garment came out quite good. The details are really interesting and he stuck with his futuristic vibe and really made it work. I have no idea how they did that to her hair, but it looks cool as hell. Good job Hobo Chic!
Blayne is next and HELLO fit problems!
It's not ALL bad. The bust doesn't fit, but that could have been fixed with some darting. I also think it's too long and would have looked better at knee length. The judges give him all kinds of shit and he's obvi in the bottom three.
Korto also used seatbelts like Blayne and hers was much more successful.

I was surprised more people didn't use this weaving technique. It ended up really working well for Korto and this piece came out really beautiful. It's chic and well made and looks expensive.

Leanne was another favorite and for good reason.

Her design was amazing. You would never know that those are car parts and it's SO well tailored and well made. It takes a great designer who can make massive hips look sexy and purposeful.

I liked Stella's a lot more when it walked down the runway. I thought the skirt moved well but then we got to the close-ups.

The construction was really poor on this thing. The skirt was gaping in spots and the fit in the top was awful. I liked the idea of it and I appreciated her stepping out of her comfort zone, but this was a big miss.

Fortunately for Stella, Keith crashed, burned and bitched.

On top of being badly made and poorly fitted this was SO boring. I get that he was trying to show restraint or whatever, but come on. This was terrible looking. And do not get me started on the back of this thing. It was awful looking and shittily made. He also talked back to Laura. Her "Excuse me?" with that tight little smile makes her a fun bitch.

Keith is all emotional because he doesn't like criticism. Newsflash Muscles, your in the fashion design industry. People are not going to hold your hand and tell you everything is gorgeous. Blodd, sweat and tears go into making your vision come to life and the public does not always respond well. If you don't know that now, then you are in the wrong line of work.

Leanne is the big winner this week and she and Korto are total front runner's for me right now. They are both showing really strong designs and I'm so impressed with them.

Needless to say, Keith is out and I am only going to miss the hotness factor. He was super mediocre and had such an attitude. He starts crying and I feel bad for two seconds. But whatever, we're weeding out the bad seeds. I'm excited to see who will make it to Bryant Park because we do have some strong talent left.

Alright, I'm of to the grocery store so I can cook up a storm! Have a good week everyone!

Auf Wiedersehn ;)


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